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tsclittlecupcake -> RE: Long distance & subdrop (6/1/2008 12:44:52 AM)
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Hi everyone--
I think the terminology for the endorphins rushing to the brain then retreating is often used to describe submissives because the submissive is supposedly the needy one, the one who craves control and when those endorphins are moving, even the dominant cannot necessarily control the submissive in the throes of the high or the low. I think a well seasoned relationship, either one that has spent a lot time in development such as camille's or a long time in quantity of time like others who aren't long distance, will eventually develop tactics for the control needed. In the meanwhile, being aware of it helps. Euphoria midscene can be just as intense and frightening to a new partner as the tumble down after the euphoria subsides. And despite what seems to be logical and general consensus, dominant partners do not have all the answers for controlling their own emotional shift initially, and they might have equally complex fears at first. Because they're perceived as the controller, expressing those conflicts in highs or lows may mark them as not dominant enough or a true dominant so I think they talk about it less often. Practice makes perfect, and with time, both sides find the pendulum swings a little less or the swing is a little less troubling anyway. I haven't had to leave Master and fly home on a plane away from him. When he travels with business though I don't care for his absence. I feel the dip in my emotional stability almost immediately but I think I've learned a little with each time its happened so I know how to express it to him, when to express it to him, and I have his hand in my life even when its far away, guiding me back to a peaceful calm. If you're in a long distance relationship on the top or bottom, I do think you'll get more comfortable with the mood swings as time passes.
she who rambles a lot,
cupcake
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