RE: Switches need not apply

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RE: Switches need not apply - 6/29/2008 12:22:37 PM

Dana1979

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm sure this has been asked a thousand times, but I would be curious to hear the feedback.

As a switch, how often do you run into this mindset?

not as much as i used to but then i quit hanging around gorean chat rooms switch are unfriendly towards anything thats not maledom in general anyways

(in reply to LadyPact)

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Post #: 21

RE: Switches need not apply - 6/29/2008 1:59:41 PM

Raechard

Posts: 3513
Joined: 3/10/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline

Some people don't like to get involved with switches, I see far worse crimes in the world than that. If that is what people want so be it, they typically tend to be people that think a switch has to have each session be a turn about situation rather than realising a switch can spend a large portion of their life fulfilling only one role.

I've also had people tell me a switch wouldn't be taken seriously as a Master and that if I had a sub many other Doms would be chancing their arm with her; as if they wouldn't try their luck anyway.

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Post #: 22

RE: Switches need not apply - 6/29/2008 8:19:21 PM

Questen

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/28/2008
Status: offline

I have encountered it enough to be annoyed by it but not really much more than that. When I first started out I was submissive..strictly. Until I found myself attracted to a submissive woman and realized I wanted to see her on her knees before me. Most Domme women that I have met over the years did tend to shy away from the idea of a switch man. At first it was no biggie cause I was not advertising that fact, but in more recent years it has gotten harder. I dont want to be a slave, or a submissive, but a bottom. I am a masochist more than anything but seems damn hard to find someone who just wants to give pain. Why, I dont know. Maybe they think Ill top from the bottom but once I fall into head space its just not true. Anyways for the most part. I dont like to switch with the same partner, and if I am going to it is probley going to be with a bottom who likes to top sometimes and not a top who likes to bottom. But for the most part I dont let it bother me and just get on with things. But damn I need a good bout of pain now a days

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Post #: 23

RE: Switches need not apply - 7/1/2008 11:58:10 PM

LushLadyLilith

Posts: 26
Joined: 5/24/2008
Status: offline

I LOVE being with another switch. The possibilities for entertainment are just endless...

Lilith

(in reply to ShadowfoxNYC)

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Post #: 24

RE: Switches need not apply - 7/2/2008 10:38:59 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I'm going to go out on a limb here and hope you all don't slaughter me! lol I love switches and encourage people to explore and do whatever it is that they want or need to do. On the other hand, I am not sure I want to be in a relationship with a switch because of my own needs or issues or perceptions even. At this time in my life, I do not want to share. I may in the future, but not because I really want to share, but because if I have a submissive, at some point they may need someone other than me because of my health situation. I wouldn't want my partner to suffer because I was selfish and didn't want them being with anyone else and I think that a switch would suffer and not get certain needs met because of it. Then again, a switch may be exactly what I should be looking for because I don't know many dominant's that would want to share my submissive or that I could handle being a part of 'our' dynamic's. As you can see, I have some things to deal with and get my mind around here!

I am trying to think outside the box. Few would want to be involved with me simply because of my health issues and therefore life issues. But if I do find someone willing to share my life, I have to think about these things. I know as the dominant that I am, I don't want the hassles of someone challenging me as in topping from the bottom. I can handle a bit of that, but not a lot. I have enough drama in my life and hassles. Not that that would happen... I think it may just be a fear that some have and that I have given thought to. So this is kind of the mindset that I think many of you are talking about when you say that dominant's often overrule any involvement with a switch. The topping and monogamy issues may just be the issues. Personally I don't want to hold anyone back from living their lives fully and I feel I would if I wanted monogamy.

I am trying to be honest here. I realize that the misperception is that a switch will try to switch within a relationship or will have a tendency to want to top their dominant and in some relationships this might happen, but not all. The switches I know mostly are either dominant to a certain person or are submissive to a certain person, although some do within a relationship with the same person, I don't know as many of them who do that. So in my case, I think it is the monogamy thing... how I need someone who is only with me at this point. Later on down the road, I may have no reason or need for it, but in the beginning, I need it. Right or wrong... I wanted to share how at least I think about things and struggle with them for different reasons. Maybe it will show what some others might think or how some of you are correct when you say some of the things said in this thread.

(in reply to LushLadyLilith)

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Post #: 25

RE: Switches need not apply - 7/2/2008 10:58:55 AM

TwoNYCDommes

Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedOnMyChain
The only time I've ever come across that mindset is online. Everyone I have met through my local community has been exceptionally welcoming and understanding. I've never been treated as less by the wonderful people I've met in the community, or removed from consideration for anything simply for being a switch. In fact, they've all been downright fantastic and helpful.

I've encountered anti-switch sentiments in real life. They are perhaps expressed more politely irl than online (like everything else), but are still there.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedOnMyChain
Edited to add: The gist of what I was getting at is that I believe this is more of an online problem than not. In real life you meet the switch and get to know them as a person. You can then judge whether they'd be a good fit, either as a dominant or submissive. A person doesn't have that luxury online and often puts forth that they aren't interested in switches just to weed out a bit, even if unwisely.

Good point. On this site, ones identification as switch/dom/sub/slave is right at the top of the profile and thus one of the first things one sees. Irl, first impressions have generally been made before the conversation comes around to that topic.

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Post #: 26

RE: Switches need not apply - 7/2/2008 11:03:50 AM

TwoNYCDommes

Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowfoxNYC
Ive nly recently joined this site, and although i have not run into that directly there seem to be very few women in my area on here that seem like they would be interested in a switch (except the pros.. with them you can switch all you want from Mastercard to Visa.. Mastercard..Visa)I hope to find out soon that I am wrong about that. I used to know someone who actually found me MORE interesting as a sub because i am a switch.... because my submission to her was not just a need i had as a sub, but a conscious decision by a Man. Ladies like that are all to rare....or at least they are very elusive...

Despite what I just wrote in response to NakedOnMyChain, I can assure you that there are plenty of women in NYC who enjoy playing with switches. (I can't speak for this site, however, as I don't browse the profiles of dommes here.)

(in reply to ShadowfoxNYC)

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Post #: 27

RE: Switches need not apply - 7/2/2008 11:30:29 AM

dvart

Posts: 110
Joined: 10/26/2006
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I may not even see you at all !

Why ?

Because of the way collarme works.

I want to meet/talk to submissive women and I would be very attracted to a switch who would submit to me or actually a Berlin based switch who would be my friend.

But the problem is that if I set the collarme filter to switch then I only see switches. Whereas (more logically) if I set the filter to submissive, I also see slaves.

Since I am a bit lazy, I leave the filter on submissive and tend to miss out on switches.

Maybe all you switches can lobby collarme to rectify this.

Logically switches should appear in the lists of those seeking dominants and submissives.

Wonder if switches share the fate of bi-sexuals not so long ago ?

(in reply to LadyPact)

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Post #: 28

RE: Switches need not apply - 7/3/2008 12:39:06 AM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm sure this has been asked a thousand times, but I would be curious to hear the feedback.

As a switch, how often do you run into this mindset?

From those interested in me, personally: Pretty often from male subs... call it every 3rd-5th or so. Much rarer in female subs.

From people in general, almost constantly here from both sexes and all orientations. In meatlife, more often than not though I've not taken note enough to guess the actual percentage.

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Post #: 29

RE: Switches need not apply - 7/5/2008 11:42:23 AM

LeatherBrit

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dvart

Logically switches should appear in the lists of those seeking dominants and submissives.

Wonder if switches share the fate of bi-sexuals not so long ago ?

Good point .... and then what happens to us bi-sexual switches? Are we doomed to a life in "no sub / no Dom(me)" land?

Boo hoo ... perhaps I should just look for another switch!

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I'm just sayin' ...

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Post #: 30

RE: Switches need not apply - 7/7/2008 10:56:12 AM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
Status: offline

A valid....question...

I get approached less now...

And thats ok....

I am not interested in the least in defending myself....ever... on my preferences within the *lifestyle*...

I know and understand my capabilites very....well...

Thats all that matters....

(in reply to LadyPact)

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Post #: 31

RE: Switches need not apply - 7/9/2008 5:20:59 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
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much, much too often, LadyPact...it's tiresome.

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Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

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Post #: 32

RE: Switches need not apply - 7/10/2008 10:42:56 PM

stingerd86

Posts: 10
Joined: 6/18/2008
Status: offline

from what I see its common enough of an attitude that many switches on this site i've seen use one orientation or the other and either mention they may switch, or they dont even note it at all in their profile.

I get really turned off when I see a pleasant looking profile for a Domme and see something like "oh, and please only responses from true submissives, no switches, i want real submission"
that says to me that person cant appreciate the gift that submission is, or they want to take advantage of someone.

(in reply to earthycouple)

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Post #: 33

RE: Switches need not apply - 7/10/2008 11:04:30 PM

BelleMorte1969

Posts: 49
Joined: 6/10/2008
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I was wondering if someone was going to see the parallel of 'switch' an 'bi' attitudes.

I find that as a bi-sexual, that enjoys going to lesbian bars and events, that many, many of the ladies I meet expect me to 'make a choice'. That I cannot possibly be attracted to men as well as women, just because they are not.

This always confuses me. I don't think they should like dick because I do....? Hmm.

I have a Dominant in my life. But do not consider myself switch. I feel that experiencing first hand, the things that I desire from my slaves, will in the long run, make me a better Dominant myself. I am learning a great deal.

Would this make a submissive desire me any less? Maybe. But, so far, I have not been subjected to such.

I think switches and bi-sexuals just open up a world of POSSIBILITIES. And how could that be a bad thing?

Women get sex whenever they want it. What do men get in return? We let you.

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Post #: 34

RE: Switches need not apply - 8/11/2008 5:45:30 PM

CobraAndLola

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/24/2007
Status: offline

As to what Gentv200 was saying me and Lola would be 2-4 couple .Were more switchs couple then Dom/Dom couple. But we switch onare pf for two reason we got tried of emails form men what stick things up Cobras butt and seem not many people would look at are pf as well lola more sub to me bout more dom to other woman. We real wish more people would not get the wrong idea about swiches an take the do dont know what we want. We every much enjoy are roles swiching an the meeting other in the the lovely world we found with ther like minded people be seem we get shyed a way form a force more back in ot the roles were have play in every are normal life not the roles we got to brake out and play in bdsm life we like to have.

Ps sorry about the bad grammer and spelling Cobra wrote the post and mas many wighting proplems he never stops working on.

(in reply to Usako)

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RE: Switches need not apply - 12/21/2008 10:10:44 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I wouldn't accept a switch Dom, and it's not because I believe the statement I bolded in purple, in your post, It's because I don't want someone who has very specific needs he needs to go to others to fufil. And no I wouldn't be willing to fufil his needs for submission. I have very clear idea's of what I want from a Dom and a Daddy, and him having a need even part time for submission, isn't what I want.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Raechard

Some people don't like to get involved with switches, I see far worse crimes in the world than that. If that is what people want so be it, they typically tend to be people that think a switch has to have each session be a turn about situation rather than realising a switch can spend a large portion of their life fulfilling only one role.

I've also had people tell me a switch wouldn't be taken seriously as a Master and that if I had a sub many other Doms would be chancing their arm with her; as if they wouldn't try their luck anyway.

(in reply to Raechard)

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Post #: 36