Smart man +  smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man  + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy  

______________________________

OFFICE  ARITHMETIC

Smart  boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production  

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb  employee = overtime

_____________________________  

SHOPPING  MATH

A man  will pay $20
for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10
for  a $20 item that she doesn't need.

_____________________________  

GENERAL  EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman  worries about the future
until she gets a husband.

A man never  worries about the future
until he gets a wife.

A successful man is  one who makes more money
than his wife can spend.

A successful  woman is one
who can find such a man.  

_____________________________

HAPPINESS  

To be  happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.  

To be happy with a woman,
you must love her a lot and not try to  understand her at all.

______________________________  

LONGEVITY  

Married  men live longer than single men do,
but married men are a lot more willing  to die.

______________________________

PROPENSITY  TO CHANGE

A woman  marries a man
expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man  marries a woman
expecting that she won't change, and she does.  

_____________________________

DISCUSSION  TECHNIQUE

A woman  has the last word
in any argument.

Anything a man says after that  
is the beginning of a new argument. :O)
_____________________________  

HOW  TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED  

Old  aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling,  telling me, 'You're next.'

They stopped  after I started doing the same thing
to them at funerals.  

SEND  THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH
AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN  HANDLE IT

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ORIGINAL: ebonymuscleman                                                                   

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy