that's just rude! (Full Version)

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velvetluxe -> that's just rude! (3/30/2008 8:47:35 AM)

I was perusing collarme this evening and came across a particular gentleman's profile. I liked the sound of him so added him to my favourites. Minutes later I receive a message from him beginning with "Hey fella..." and basically implying that I was male and couldn't possibly be contacting him because "21 yr old Eurasians don't contact guys my age and generally don't have a good grasp on English grammar." He also suggested I need to redo my profile to make it more convincing and don't try to lift photos off the net at they look too fake. Now, it's all well and good if you've had some bad experiences with people saying they are something they are not, but how does he square making generalisations about an entire race/demographic AND accusing me of being male without my having said a word to him? Honestly, I found the whole email quite insulting; considering I AM a 21 yr old Eurasian submissive, who happens to enjoy being with older men/Doms.

Some viewers might think I'm taking this too personally, but I find it incredulous that someone would not only make those assumptions from nothing more than my profile but also go to the trouble of sending me rude missives. Sorry, had to vent and wanted to know if I'm being too sensitive.



sirsholly -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 8:50:55 AM)

 The way i look at you have no control over others, but you DO have control over how others affect you. Let it go, it is not worth your energy.



Deliena -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 8:52:12 AM)

It does sounds like you're getting the rough end of previous bad experiences, however you won't be the first and you won't be the last person to end up in that situation.

Depending on how much this guy does for you can a) persue and persuade or b) cut your losses and continue browsing.

Good luck whatever choice you make



IronBear -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 8:56:48 AM)

The bloke who messaged you was simply making a big statement how ignorant and how biggoted he is I.E. He told you he is a shit head and to ignor mhim because is is no Master.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does."
(Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)




mzbehavin -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 8:57:22 AM)

Hi velvet~ Thats happened to me before as well. And i'm 37. Try to look at it like a compliment! Someone thinks you're too good to be true. And he will never know what he missed~ xox



JohnWarren -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 8:59:24 AM)

Three simple observations:

An insult is like a drink.  It affects you only if you accept it.

His statement is vastly more revealing as to who he is rather than who you are.

His loss.



faerytattoodgirl -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 9:00:13 AM)

dont worry...we're all fakes....until we can go on cam, or phone, or meet...according to profiles that i read anyway... 



colouredin -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 9:00:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mzbehavin

Hi velvet~ Thats happened to me before as well. And i'm 37. Try to look at it like a compliment! Someone thinks you're too good to be true. And he will never know what he missed~ xox


*Nods*

I wouldnt worry about it to be honest hun, just ignore him he is making a hell of a statement about who he is, just think at least you didnt waste your time getting to know him!



MsStarlett -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 9:01:32 AM)

Assholes are everywhere.  Try not to let them get you down.

However, I for one, do not accept 'Friends' invitations from people who have never sent me a message.  If you wanna be my friend, then you have to be friendly first.  Perhaps that was where you went 'wrong' in that person's eye.



SteelofUtah -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 9:07:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

dont worry...we're all fakes....until we can go on cam, or phone, or meet...according to profiles that i read anyway... 


See I don't believe you are real untill you are on Cam while ALSO being on the Phone with me while then taking a Blood Sample and DNA sample and sending it to the CSI Guys to have you oclassified as real.

So faerytattoodgirl, What's you Phone number and get the Cam loaded I will need you to get a Sterile Flebotamists (SP?) Needle and a Vial and Call Gill Grissam untill then you just aren't real.

I am Curious however how figments of my imagination type on these forums...... WAIT can ANYONE else Read these Forums?? How Insane am I???

Steel



sabirah -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 9:08:18 AM)

Perhaps a polite asking, Do you mind, if I add you to my favorite's list?
(might help).
I know that I have a few admirers that I wish I could remove from my list.
I personally ask, but thats my choice. 



colouredin -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 9:10:53 AM)

I dont see why it matters, even if they arent admirers they can still look at your profile, being an admirer just makes it that bit easier.



MissHarlet -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 9:11:33 AM)

The Ignore feature is our friend !!



Deliena -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 9:15:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah
Flebotamists (SP?) Needle and a Vial and Call Gill Grissam untill then you just aren't real.


<pedanic mode on> Phlebotomists <pedandic mode off>



SteelofUtah -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 9:21:36 AM)

Thank you Deliena, I am just too lazy to hit that stupid Spell Check before I post.

**Just did and it wants me to download software**

I am too lazy to type this all out in Word and then Copy Paste over to here.

Either way I thank you for the Spelling Lesson and I doubt I will have remembered that the next time I try to incorrectly spell that word.

[:D]

Steel




Deliena -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 9:23:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

Thank you Deliena, I am just too lazy to hit that stupid Spell Check before I post.

**Just did and it wants me to download software**

I am too lazy to type this all out in Word and then Copy Paste over to here.

Either way I thank you for the Spelling Lesson and I doubt I will have remembered that the next time I try to incorrectly spell that word.

[:D]

Steel




LOL I wouldn't d/l software either - I just type the word into Google in a different tab and it asks me whether I meant the right spelling really hahahaha



faerytattoodgirl -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 9:36:18 AM)

sorry steel..only 4 people on cm have my phone # and they're all women.



AS11 -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 9:44:31 AM)

One cannot remain in this community for any length of time and doubt the validity of there being throwbacks in the evolution process. Or swiftly come to recognizen the keyboard cowards, regardless of gender and/or self-appointed titles.



CalifChick -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 10:38:08 AM)

You guys are looking at this all wrong.  This is now an open invitation to view this guy's full profile every single day just to annoy the snot out of him. 

And by the way, "favorites" and "friends" aren't the same thing. If you want someone off your "admirers" list (meaning you're on that person's favorites list), just mark them "hidden" on their profile. Then they won't show up on your admirers list and you don't have to look at them.

HelpfulCali
(2nd helpful post in a row this morning... you would think I got laid or sumthin' - alas, not true)



UncleNasty -> RE: that's just rude! (3/30/2008 11:11:30 AM)

Rude behavior by others is never pleasant. I'm always saddened to hear others are having to deal with it.

Several posted here about his behavior making louder statements about himself than of you. That is true. It makes another statement too. A statement about the rude and/or deceptive behavior others have treated him with. From the sound of it there has been a lot of that. While I don't condone or excuse his behavior, or the way he responded to you, I do acknowledge his past pains and the possibility that he has come to his own rude behavior "honestly," as it were.

That being said it doesn't matter how any of us come by our own poor behaviors, whether we act in those ways with intention or not, whether we are aware of it or not. An old greek saying: "Though the boys throw rocks in jest, the frogs still die in earnest."

Most of us come by our "stuff" honestly. I got mine that way. I am in continuous process of review and inspection of my stuff and am actively trying to "unlearn" what I have been erroneously taught. Aren't we all trying to recover from childhood, LOL?

I'm sorry he treated you poorly.

Be well, live free,

Uncle Nasty




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