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Approach-able? - 3/30/2008 2:33:01 PM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		Male submissives mostly, however I always love to hear from the ladies--
 
Do you approach or wait to be approached?
 
Why, why not?

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.
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RE: Approach-able? - 3/30/2008 2:47:00 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		Foolishly I sat back and waited to be approached but didn't get as much contact as I'd like. Now I make contact about half the time and it's been rewarding, if for no other reason than I've become acquainted with some interesting people.  It certainly opens up my chances for perhaps finding the "one".

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In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

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RE: Approach-able? - 3/30/2008 4:08:57 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I prefer to be approached, but if it's obvious that the one's I want to get to know aren't going to do it, I'll reach out. The crappy thing about that is, most of the time, it's like pulling teeth to engage in conversation or to maintain contact. Those things frustrate me and often, even if I like them, they'll fall along the wayside. I'll make contact, and I'll pursue a little, but I'm just not going to chase anyone down. This is true in and out of the lifestyle.

Now, a mutual chase is different. :-)

Master Fire


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The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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(in reply to LadyHathor)
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RE: Approach-able? - 3/30/2008 4:26:22 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		I don't do well approaching people.  So, I've never really done it.  My Owner approached me, though she wasn't approaching me for a relationship at the time.  I don't honestly think I would have ever approached anybody...but we'll never know that now.

DV's Fox

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Approach-able? - 3/30/2008 4:46:05 PM   
SingleRarity


Posts: 320
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline 		I approached my Sir, and at that time he was getting enough quality contact from female submissives, that he had stopped contacting them.  Lady Hathor, your queastion brings to mind a thought I've often had: I wonder if dominants who only reply to a submissives/bottoms mail do better, relationship wise, than those who send out mail to prospective submissives without being contacted first.  I'm sure there are varying opinions on this, but it seems like a dominant who is well spoken, err literate and interesting wouldn't need to send out much mail at all, especially if their forum posts are thoughtful and intelligent.  It's probably 50/50 but I'd love to get some data on this.

(in reply to Shawn1066)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Approach-able? - 3/30/2008 5:39:33 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I am old fashioned i wait to be approched.  Of course before i met Master my 1st year on the site i was approched a lot (full mailbox).  So i really did not have time to approch anyway responding to all those mails.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to SingleRarity)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Approach-able? - 3/30/2008 5:42:11 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		I've been told quite a bit that I'm not approachable in RT -- it always makes me smile.. I'm actually a bit shy, but I hide it.  People who know me well don't get it.. I'm pretty approachable...

online, I tend not to approach unless I see something in a profile that interests me...

(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Approach-able? - 3/30/2008 5:52:02 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SingleRarity

I approached my Sir, and at that time he was getting enough quality contact from female submissives, that he had stopped contacting them.  Lady Hathor, your queastion brings to mind a thought I've often had: I wonder if dominants who only reply to a submissives/bottoms mail do better, relationship wise, than those who send out mail to prospective submissives without being contacted first.  I'm sure there are varying opinions on this, but it seems like a dominant who is well spoken, err literate and interesting wouldn't need to send out much mail at all, especially if their forum posts are thoughtful and intelligent.  It's probably 50/50 but I'd love to get some data on this.


I think you're right, that well spoken, literate forumites get more than the average amount of mail.

However, that means that you probably aren't getting a man who can build a house for you, fix your car, or repair your computer. Because I don't know anyone who possesses all possible skills.

For me, I knew that as much as I like talking things over with intelligent male forumites, I wouldn't get along with them in a relationship. Because I sought my counterpart, not my equal. Which is why I'm in a relationship with a man who is the first person my daughter calls when she has car problems, the person my father and my siblings and I rely on to oversee and fix problems at our beach cottage, the one turned to by his ums and mine for computer problems, the one who talked me through repairing a malfunctioning garage door from 150 miles away. Because I find that a man who can take charge with these kinds of problems make me feel safe, something that those nice, literate, chatty types don't.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to SingleRarity)
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RE: Approach-able? - 3/30/2008 5:58:28 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		I wait to be approached. I discovered way too many subs were just pissing off the dominants out there with endless streams of "do me" letters, so I just decided that if it was meant to be, she'd approach me, or I'd end up meeting her in a different context than a message board. I figure there's no hurry; the right person will come along, and hopefully at the right time.

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<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to LadyHathor)
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RE: Approach-able? - 3/30/2008 10:42:26 PM   
MisterStrongWill


Posts: 44
Joined: 12/31/2004
Status: offline 		I do a smooth aproach..A hello works..sometime I get the F--- off and sometimes a conversation.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Approach-able? - 3/30/2008 11:25:34 PM   
HerLord


Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline 		Me personally, I just stick by the side of My Love, and let all the searching be done through/to her. We have made some very interesting contacts on here, but mostly we are here to learn new kink. We have seeking freinds selected because... in truth, we don't have the required time to put into a new relationship. We have maintained contact with a few of the freinds we have made here. but all in all, for us it is about the boards. We don't take the profile pervers too seriously. And seldom take too much convo with people that we don't recognise from the boards. We are open to new experiences but the new relationship would have to take a good LONG time. We are very busy people and if something comes out of the conversations we have not in the boards cool... We are looking to eventually add to our family but We KNOW it aint any time soon.

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"People as a whole think they want to hear the truth, until they hear it." -Stormism

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RE: Approach-able? - 3/30/2008 11:31:51 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

Male submissives mostly, however I always love to hear from the ladies--
 
Do you approach or wait to be approached?
 
Why, why not?


Hell, what if I see someone who is completely fuckable but they don't know of my interest? I might never laid if I waited for someone to approach me. Same thing with play. If I want them, I let them know and I let them know in no uncertain terms. If they say yes, great and we'll probably have a really good time. If they say no, well, they were never going to approach me anyway, so I've lost nothing in trying.

Celeste



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Approach-able? - 3/30/2008 11:52:41 PM   
faithfulfemme


Posts: 113
Joined: 5/24/2007
Status: offline 		i'm an old school StoneFemme and i prefer to be approached.  However, over the years i have sent "Hello" messages to those who sounded like someone i'd like to meet.

As a small thread derailment, is it possible here at cm to pull up all the postings made by a particular person?  Don't want to start a thread for just that one question........

< Message edited by faithfulfemme -- 3/30/2008 11:55:28 PM >

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Trust is neither wishing nor hoping; it is a deep sense of honor in another.

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RE: Approach-able? - 3/30/2008 11:54:21 PM   
HerLord


Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: faithfulfemme

i'm an old school StoneFemme and i prefer to be approached.  However, over the years i have sent "Hello" messages to those who sounded like someone i'd like to meet.

As a small thread derailment, is it possible here at cm to pull up all the postings made by a particular person?  Don't want to start a thread for just that one question........

search function top right of window.

search by author
[ /hijack]

_____________________________

"People as a whole think they want to hear the truth, until they hear it." -Stormism

(in reply to faithfulfemme)
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RE: Approach-able? - 3/30/2008 11:57:13 PM   
faithfulfemme


Posts: 113
Joined: 5/24/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HerLord


search function top right of window.

search by author



Thank You, HerLord, i appreciate You answering me.......

_____________________________

Trust is neither wishing nor hoping; it is a deep sense of honor in another.

(in reply to HerLord)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Approach-able? - 3/31/2008 1:18:34 AM   
madshysoul


Posts: 105
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline 		I have the personality of a golden retriever, so when I'm out and about I tend to get to know everyone on a basic level. (And really, I'm not going to trust someone enough to play with them if they aren't at least a friend first anyway.)

The people I would be likely to approach myself would be those who obviously teach/mentor and have a skill I want to learn/experience.

Aside from that, I'll generally wait to be approached.

Here on CM specifically, I'm not actively 'looking' so if contacted I respond, but that's about it.


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"Saying that after You I'll never need another Top doesn't make me think you're incredible. It makes you sound like a serial killer."

(in reply to faithfulfemme)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Approach-able? - 3/31/2008 1:37:27 AM   
HerLord


Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: madshysoul

I have the personality of a golden retriever, so when I'm out and about I tend to get to know everyone on a basic level. (And really, I'm not going to trust someone enough to play with them if they aren't at least a friend first anyway.)

The people I would be likely to approach myself would be those who obviously teach/mentor and have a skill I want to learn/experience.

Aside from that, I'll generally wait to be approached.

Here on CM specifically, I'm not actively 'looking' so if contacted I respond, but that's about it.



So, if I understand you correctly, you are saying that if someone has something you want... you play nice till you get it? Then what? Treat them as you do those who don't have what you want? Just asking...

_____________________________

"People as a whole think they want to hear the truth, until they hear it." -Stormism

(in reply to madshysoul)
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RE: Approach-able? - 3/31/2008 3:40:56 AM   
MzMinx


Posts: 277
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		I love hunting ...... I  enjoy contacting boys that  have caught my eye, either online or in real, athough I may not be seeking anything more than to give them a  compliment

But a well considered contact, from a  boy, on his own initative, is quite delightful and even though I do get a great deal of mail on here and other sites I do tend to read them all, unless its coming from a known jerk... 

I like a boy putting effort into his search, I like confidence, optimism and I enjoy someone willing to make themselves a little vunerable .... so contacting a  female dominant out of the blue online can show all of the above and every charming well thought out mail I recieve more than makes up for the 20  plus that are  not so interesting (all right often times idiotic or down right rude )  but they dont effect me so I just open them, delete and move on

Gaining my attention can be done in all sorts of ways ... it doesnt need to fall into the simple who approached who ... I believe  traditonally  many woman are quite aware of  how to go about being noticed wthout seeming to be doing anything  *laughs*  it can take a great deal of work to appear so casual and sexy.... men can learn the same things  ....  online it can take the form of  forum posts, well considered and interesting  profiles, photos, learning what the woman they desire seek  and showing that in various ways etc etc  can move a boy from the cyber shadows into the spotlight of this dominants attention





(in reply to HerLord)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Approach-able? - 3/31/2008 4:42:36 AM   
edgepassion


Posts: 67
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline 		I like to be approached. 

For me, it’s a manifestation of the aggressiveness, assertiveness that are two of the qualities that I seek in a Lady.

That said, let me add that if the “approach” is in pursuit of a relationship, and for whatever reasons I do not see a possible “connection”, I’ll say so, adding the “why”.  Simple manners.

(in reply to MzMinx)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Approach-able? - 3/31/2008 4:51:42 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		My take is that it is a big site, chances are that if You spot someone You are interested in they might not have spotted You. It doesn't matter who makes the first contact so long as the end result is You noticing each other as without that happening then there is no chance for anything more.

Our culture means many female subs are reluctant to make the first approach, both because traditionaly it is the Man who makes the first move and second that oft they are beset by self doubts "why would He be interested in me?", Dominants tend to be a little more self-confident.

When I am approached politely by someone who has taken some effort even if I am not interested I reply politely to say thanks but no thanks... and there is always the chance I WILL be interested and at least they have drawn themself to My attention :)

*Raises His glass in Lady H's direction* Still starting interesting topics I see :)


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to MzMinx)
Profile   Post #: 20
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