RE: Too Real? (Full Version)

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Madame4a -> RE: Too Real? (4/2/2008 8:20:01 AM)

Wow... well said...


and to the OP... yes, I'm beginning to understand I'm a bit too real for some.. others seem ok with it...its a good way to separate the wheat from the chaff...



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Too Real? (4/2/2008 8:20:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

I think men and women misunderstand things from both ends of the courtship spectrum: guys not understanding that the femdom is really just a woman with all the regular needs a woman has. Women not understanding that the malesub is more than just a plug and play tool into a lifestyle position.


While I snipped off the rest of your excellent post, I think that many/most of the women here DO understand that the male is more than a human dildo or punching bag.  Which is the point.



SlaveSubtoserve -> RE: Too Real? (4/2/2008 12:24:16 PM)

.....actually from experience me-thinx that the male and females desires for what encompasses their partner still applies but just with the additional D/s requirements/desires added on= the reason a lot of male subs also bail out at the last minute when they realize that even if the Domme is really such, She may not have the desireable vanilla qualities they also want......would guess the same applies for the Femmes too..



midgetmafiosa -> RE: Too Real? (4/2/2008 12:42:56 PM)

It's all fine and good to slap 'em around and do all kinds of things to a partner in play, but at the end of the day, when I'm tired from work, or I just don't feel good, I want someone who's strong enough to be supportive in a conventional and traditional way. I want vanilla. I want a man who will take out the trash while I fold the laundry, and laugh at the same movies, and go to the store for the diahhrea medication, you know? It really comes down to someone who is grounded and balanced, and not wanting me to be "on" 24/7. This is why I have set the standard of men and not boys in my life. Had enough of boys who couldn't grow up in one way or another.



LadyLolly -> RE: Too Real? (4/2/2008 10:44:59 PM)

Quite so.  When we say yes and delivah - we are oh most wondrous Godess fair.  When in our dominance we have the audacity to say no or desire something not so fun - we are BITCHES, click. Hard to find a bossy damn woman that knows her place <G>.



tamed -> RE: Too Real? (4/6/2008 6:45:33 AM)

personally i think that the only way to avoid these disillusions for a Woman is finding a sub who is also a REAL masochist, at list a little bit; or use forced chastity upon the partner (which implies a masochist again).



LaMistressa -> RE: Too Real? (4/6/2008 8:19:21 AM)

I don't get accused of being "too real", but I think my profile makes it clear enough that I am a realist and not a fantasy person, and that I'm comfortable with both the kink and vanilla aspects of my life and how they work.

I actively discourage responses from the "oh I could never go to a fetish club or a munch and be in public" crowd, and that's okay on both sides.



Mustardseed -> RE: Too Real? (4/6/2008 10:21:33 AM)

I haven't actually has someone up and accuse me of it directly, but I have noticed a distinct lack of responses when I start asking practical questions. My boy pretty much purred and melted when he realized that I enjoyed learning about him:

  • he's a geek, which I find darling
  • both of our parents grew up in the Depression era
  • I have Jr. Walker and the All Stars on my playlist right along with Weird Al and Queens of the Stone Age
  • I "think too much" in that I pick people's behaviors apart and expect progress -- this is a talent that he appreciatess


I also pick my own behavior apart and sound it out with my partners when I realize that I have an opportunity for progress, and he's been particularly relieved that I'm not planning to run our relationship in only one direction. Being his dominant is going to hold up a mirror to me as much as it is to him. As he's put it, I ride him hard and put him away wet ... and the majority of that is through simple conversation.

Some people value "the real," some people runs screaming from it. Hopefully everyone will find partners who reflect what they want out of their relationships.



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