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My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 6:27:01 AM   
lovelylucy


Posts: 37
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline 		I've been reading here since I first discovered CM, and there seem to be a lot of people here who have mental health issues, or know a lot about them. I'm not asking for a diagnosis, I'm just worried really. I have a referral to a place near me for group therapy and I'm waiting to get an appointment.

I'm in the UK.

For a very long time (pretty much as long as I can remember), I've been feeling very unhappy. Not constantly. Sometimes it's pushed back further and I get on day to day and behave fairly normally.

But sometimes I get upset, or I get stressed, and all the other things I carry around come out as well, and I act like a nutter. I mean shouting, screaming, crying. I've hit my boyfriend, I sit in the middle of the road, try to kill myself, cut and hit myself etc. And then... I'm ok again. I go back to normal. My mood flip in minutes, if not seconds, from one extreme to another. I can be happy and then burst into tears and cut... or be out with my friends in a club, fine and dancing and whatever, and suddenly I feel so bad I go to jump off a carpark. I wake up in the night and cry. I break up with my boyfriend at least 3 times a month, tell him to leave and then block the door and beg him to stay.... If I've been trying to top myself I can go back to normal in well under an hour.

My boyfriend says that I'm irrational - I get very wound up or upset over nothing - which leads to the things I mentioned above. I'm really struggling with this because it doesn't feel like I'm doing anything unreasonable - to me it's normal and fine, but when he explains it to me when I'm more settled I can kinda understand what he's getting at.

It's destroying my life and my relationship - and watching me trying to kill myself is destroying him.

But it's so hard to change... I don't know how to stop because at the time I have no idea what I'm doing isn't 'normal' or whatever. And I don't know how to change how I feel or my mood, or to deal with it better because I feel so bad all I want to do is die, and I can't think about anything but all the awful things and wanting to die.

I overdosed on Thursday, and cut my legs and arms. I think I've lost my job because of it (wasn't at work this weekend, was in hospital til Friday night).

I don't know what to do. And I'm also worried that I am perfectly normal and just a horrible person. Or that I'm trying to blame my own disgusting behaviour on a mental problem I just don't have.

I've was in inpatient over new year and they released me saying I was fine - just a bit upset (lot of shit going down in my life in the past few months). But my consultant didn't see me, and my doctor saw me twice and we didn't really talk about the big stuff.

So yeah. I don't even know what the bloody question is any more, but that's the basic gist.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 6:35:37 AM   
lovelylucy


Posts: 37
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline 		It's also driving me crazy because my friends and boyfriend all think there's something wrong somewhere and I need some class of help, but the doctors I've seen tell me there isn't and I'm fine... so the friends and boyfriend think I'm lying to the doctors. And yes, I have before, and yes, there's been times I just couldn't open up, but when I have and I really try to explain what it's like and how I feel I get the same answer anyway... which makes me feel even more like I'm just making it up.

(in reply to lovelylucy)
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RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 6:39:40 AM   
shysub0951


Posts: 132
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline 		If you want to talk, feel free to email me on the other side.

(in reply to lovelylucy)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 6:46:38 AM   
lovelylucy


Posts: 37
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks :-)

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Profile   Post #: 4
RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 6:47:41 AM   
shysub0951


Posts: 132
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline 		i'm only offering because i've been there, sorry shoulda put more into it, got home from work a few min ago, i've done the things you've done and then some.

(in reply to lovelylucy)
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RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 7:11:39 AM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Hopefully you get an appointment soon....
 
You being a *horrible* person, I will bet...is not the *truth*..
 
Be honest with the doctors...what do you have to....lose. Take that....risk.
 
Good luck...

(in reply to shysub0951)
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RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 7:14:23 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Since_you_hae_moments_of_rationality_you_need_to_use_that
and_fight_for_the_help_you_obviously_need...
keep_a_journal...it_might_really_help_them_figure_out_what_is_going_on
as_well_as_providing_you_with_a_healthier_outlet_when_things_begin
to_overwhelm_you...

Can_you_call_the_hospital_and_tell_them_you_need_a_referral...and
do_that_today?

(in reply to lovelylucy)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 7:51:23 AM   
canupleaseme


Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		I think its something to do with our health service.  I have been having problems for a while and haven't been given any kind of help that I need only anti depressents which I really didn't want.  I hope your feeling ok soon.  Feel free to message me too if you need a chat.

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Proud mistress

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RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 12:36:01 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		My oldest has bipolar Type II, mixed states, adolescent onset, ultra high cycling. Her mood changes every five minutes. Sound familiar? How old were you when it manifested? It usually comes on shortly after hitting full puberty.

The problem with diagnosis on this is that it is the most rare variant and most doctors, neurologists, psychiatrists have never seen a case. She spent six weeks in an adolescent outpatient unit before the supervising psychiatrist diagnosed it. It was the first case the doctor had ever seen and she had to go back to her text books to identify it. And she sees thousands of adolescents a year, that's how rare it is.

Unfortunately, you need to do research on your own and go in armed with your list of symptoms and a print out of the literature.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 1:09:53 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		My doctor I had a few years back ROCKED when I suffered post natal depression.
I am going to give you the advice she gave to me (seeing as another poster posted something relating )
 
She told me that no doctor should prescribe anti depress. medication and that no medication should be given to a person who is not under regular psych care or theraphy.  That the only people qualified to give correct  medication(or recommend to your doctor what you should take) is the therapist or psych nurse you are speaking to.  My doctor told me that all doctors, unless they specialise in mental healthcare, do not fully understand all the drugs being used, whereas mental health professionals do.  That any doctor prescribing without a referal to a mental health professional should be seriously questioned.
 
If you do not feel able to open up to the therapist you are assigned to then don't give up but ask for another.  Of course, in some practises this is not always possible as they may only have one, but if you contact MIND or a local mental health chariety then they can assist you - finding an alternative route.  If you are having any problems with mental illness or stability, I really urge you to contact MIND - they kick ass.  And contact the samaritans if you feel desperation.  I am posting links below.

http://www.mind.org.uk/
http://www.samaritans.org/

the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 3/31/2008 1:10:26 PM >

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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to lovelylucy)
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RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 3:07:22 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		Hey it's a great step, starting therapy. I wish I had words of wisdom or some kind of wonderful insight but all I can say is that I understand how it feels to be out of control, and beginning therapy is an important beginning. It may take awhile if you start medication, so much of it is trial and error which can be horribly frustrating. There isn't a one size fits all solution but keep strong until your life begins to turn the right way.

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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to lovelylucy)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 3:14:47 PM   
dollparts85


Posts: 1233
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: NY
Status: offline 		I love you, hun and I hope this doesn't upset you...but I think you need a long IP stay (like at least a month or two)...and to get on meds...especially a mood stabilizer...

_____________________________

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes its the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow"

(in reply to camille65)
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RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 4:00:39 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I would caution you against taking advice from someone whose own life is a trainwreck.

The next time you have an individual appointment, see about taking your boyfriend or someone else close to you into the session with you, to really give a clear picture of what is happening.  Some people can appear "fine" for a while and cannot really convey the seriousness of the problem.  I think you know that suicide attempts are not "normal". Group therapy usually doesn't allow non-patients to attend, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

Good luck.  And remember this, if nothing else:  Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to dollparts85)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 4:07:59 PM   
dollparts85


Posts: 1233
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: NY
Status: offline 		talking about me? I know more about the situation than you guys do. She could seriously die at any moment. She needs to be IP.

_____________________________

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes its the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow"

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 4:13:59 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dollparts85
talking about me? I know more about the situation than you guys do.


Since you brought it up, yes, I was speaking of you.  You may feel you have more technical knowledge than anyone else (and you're certainly entitled to your opinion), but your demonstrated lack of common sense and rational decision-making ability pretty much negates any knowledge you may feel you possess. 

In other words, you are not stable enough to be giving someone advice who has suicidal ideation. 

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to dollparts85)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 4:19:57 PM   
dollparts85


Posts: 1233
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: NY
Status: offline 		I didn't say anything that would harm her. She needs to go into a hospital where she can not hurt herself and get medication to treat her highs and lows. She's manic most of the time...and then crashes and tries to kill herself.

_____________________________

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes its the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow"

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 4:22:22 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		She was just in the hospital two days ago.  Again, you're not helping.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to dollparts85)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 4:23:41 PM   
lovelylucy


Posts: 37
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline 		To be fair, me and Dollparts do talk at least 5 times a day.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 4:24:02 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dollparts85

I didn't say anything that would harm her. She needs to go into a hospital where she can not hurt herself and get medication to treat her highs and lows. She's manic most of the time...and then crashes and tries to kill herself.


funny..................... i seem to recall someone else from these boards with similar behavior who adamentaly will not follow the doctor's orders...
hmm..
What a conundrum.



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“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb


(in reply to dollparts85)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: My Mental Health - 3/31/2008 4:24:13 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		**goes to headbanging thread she just saw, and drags Cali with her before she gets in trouble cuz she likes her**

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 20
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