RE: "so, are you collared yet?"

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RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/2/2008 9:32:00 AM

underhisthumb

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Joined: 3/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

quote:

ORIGINAL: underhisthumb

Sometimes I just want to type in, Yes, Im Collared, and its cemented on, now leave me the Hell alone!

But, alas, I suppose that would be abrasive and a bit rude.

Its funny, I get hit on in the vanilla wolrd ten times more now that I wear an engagement ring than I ever did before. Is it some primitive, ingrained need of man to steal one man's property from another. (and by man I do not mean male- women do it too)

It almost seems like a game of validation or some such. Look, I took you, Im better. I personally would rather catch a free fish than have to fight for one already on a hook!

Or, knowing that you're already engaged, maybe they feel relieved that you won't expect them to call you in the morning?

Stephan

Too Funny!

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Post #: 41

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/2/2008 9:34:10 AM

Stephann

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From: Portland, OR
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If only it wasn't so true as well...

In our unique situation, we tend to prefer playing with individuals who already have attachments i.e. men, women, or couples who are already committed because it drastically reduces the likelyhood of their expecting a much more romantically driven/charged relationship.

Stephan

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Post #: 42

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/2/2008 1:56:17 PM

MasterFireMaam

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I used to believe in levels of collars. I likened it to the process of marriage...date...date exclusively...get engaged...get married. See? Levels! However, I've learned that this actually doesn't work for me in reality. But, lot of people expect it. We're geared to have social clues about availability, so, until you have an engagement ring (some sort of initial collar), yeah, you're available for "seduction". It's what we've been taught.

Master Fire

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Post #: 43

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/2/2008 2:22:15 PM

Poetryinpain

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I would suppose that hitting on a woman who's wearing an engagement ring (or collar) is a result of thinking, "Hey, some guy finds this gal attractive. There must be something there. Maybe I can get a little."

Why they don't realize that the man on the other side of the ring or collar might object rather strenuously, is beyond me.

pip, scratching her head

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Post #: 44

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/2/2008 3:44:00 PM

SirsPetAdrina

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i know Sir and i have dicussed me starting the levels of collars for training but we havnt yet. i will never leave Sir because i am HAPPILY TAKEN by him as far as vanillias are concerned. im taken and hope to start collars in about 4 months or so unless Sir decides to start them sooner.

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Post #: 45

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/3/2008 7:25:47 AM

Dnomyar

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Mmm looks at the bald spot on poetrys head. There is a segment out there that don't care about rings or collars. They look at it as a challenge.

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Post #: 46

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/3/2008 7:37:12 AM

JoyfulMistress

Posts: 628
Joined: 10/31/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveintraning

Thinking about would rather have a collar, then a ring on my finger, funny they ar both round? Does that mean anything!!!!!. Maybe a ring on my nipples, but we are not talking about that, or are we?

Acutally the collar may not be only a leather or metal band around their neck dear.. it could be a ring around a finger or through a nipple .. it could be a braclet around a wrist or ankle ... it could be whatever the couple says the collar is ... When Mine accept My collar they do get a leath one and also some form of jewelry so they can wear it 24/7.So actually we could be talking about a nipple ring being a collar as well ~Winks~

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Post #: 47

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/3/2008 9:05:46 AM

girlygurl

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From: in the palms of His hands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

What bothers me, I guess is the black and white view in which some people take with regards to collaring, they seem to feel that if you are not collared, you are a free agent, no transitionary process, no evolution, no gradual growth. In there minds one day you are flitting around free as a bird and the next day you are placed in that gilded cage.

I ran into a similar scenario. An acquaintance was firm on the belief that I was "available" because I wasn't collared, in fact he went on to say that my Sir didn't actually care enough about me to collar me. I contribute his thought process to black and white thinking... in other words, if a relationship didn't look like what he thought to be the "right" look, it wasn't a twue D/s relationship.

Sir and I have been together for over one year, and our relationship has only grown deeper and more meaningful! Our beliefs and thoughts on the collaring may be different than others but that sure doesn't negate what we have.

I will say that for a long time I wanted to be collared because that's what I thought was suppose to happen within the dynamic of our relationship. I am very happy in the relationship and more in love with my Sir than I ever thought possible. I'm not saying those who want to be collared or are collared are any less valid, I'm just sayin..... when are we going to stop imposing our beliefs on others????? Ok, Ok, I know the answer to that... never!

girly

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Post #: 48

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/3/2008 9:25:04 AM

Leatherist

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Men on ego trips don't respect much. Especially desperate men with a fantastical sense of thier own entitlement. It's really quite sad-pity them.

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Post #: 49

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/3/2008 9:29:46 AM

OmegaG

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how you manage to say in 2 sentences the crux of an entire thread is truly a gift.

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Post #: 50

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/3/2008 9:35:21 AM

Leatherist

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Beleive me when I say this. When you have negotated terms with as many subs, over as many years as I have..... You learn to cull out the vague and get to the point.

It solves myriad issues down the line.

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Post #: 51

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/3/2008 1:44:27 PM

sassysexygirl

Posts: 213
Joined: 8/23/2007
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FR ~~

greetings E/everyone
greetings OmegaG

being with a Gorean Master does make this particular part of the relationship easier. in Gor, a girl is either collared or she is not. very few Masters, if any, use levels of collaring.

Master Sky and i have been getting to know each other for over 2 months, and i will meet Him and His first slave, kayra, in less then 3 weeks. so He is considering me; however, i too am considering Him. so no, i'm not collared. but i'm committed. therefore, He and i consider me His girl ,,,,, but not His collared slave yet. so, my profile reads "i belong to Master SkyWalker, which makes me a Gorean's slave; and also sister to kayra :) i'm only here for the Boards." so, my profile shows i'm not available, and doesn't mention a collar in any way. no questions about collaring, but no doubts about my status.

in my opinion, there's just really no way around having some folks hit on ya. i still get emails but *shrugs* i say no thank you and block 'em.

well wishes,
gemmie

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Post #: 52

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/3/2008 5:22:31 PM

KatsClaws12

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Joined: 4/24/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

Is it unique to those who believe in collaring (in general) that until one takes it to that level of seriousness that the relationship isn't to be taken seriouly?

I wear a collar of consideration and I take my relationship very seriously. The reason that my Mistress calls it a consideration collar is because we are in the learning process of one another. How well I learn what She wants in my training and how well i react to the things that She does with me and or to me.

Though I have not read the other post this is how I see your question. I hope it helps.
Good luck.

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Post #: 53

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/3/2008 5:52:35 PM

devil1963

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Joined: 12/30/2007
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Well here's another point of veiw for you to think about............
I see a collar as a way in which I can offer protection and safety to a sub ......... so if you are being considered for a collar, I see that as saying the sub has someone close enough to offer her safety from others.
Not a biggie just my idea .......

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Post #: 54

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/3/2008 7:05:03 PM

OnlyMels

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Well I have a collar thats more for play its not really something I can wear all the time but I have my engagement ring for that purpose.

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Post #: 55

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/4/2008 9:09:21 AM

emilyd25

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I was collared to my first and only dom back home.I took it very seriously and was to me like a wedding ring of course we also had a child.When he died I placed that collar in his casket and would never have worn it again it was his in my opinion.I get frustrated when I see subs wearing collars to fend of advances like they mean nothing.I guess what Im saying is a collar is a real commitment to me and should never be taken lightly.Just my opinion,Peace and blessings ,Emily

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Post #: 56

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/4/2008 1:41:43 PM

FritzRigger

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Joined: 10/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

You could just say you're in a relationship...or you could call it a 'promise collar'. I find that rather endearing, actually.
Or you could put on your profile, (or in your journal) what, exactly, a promise collar means to both you and your dom.
Because while it means so much to you in your relationship, others don't treat it with the same respect.

Yes , that is a good way to look at it,I will have to agree..and don't I know you??

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Post #: 57

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/4/2008 2:25:48 PM

CalifChick

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Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: emilyd25
I get frustrated when I see subs wearing collars to fend of advances like they mean nothing.I guess what Im saying is a collar is a real commitment to me and should never be taken lightly.

Some women wear wedding rings for the same reason. The symbol carries different meanings to different people. Please don't let those different meanings color your emotions with frustrations; but smile in knowing how much your Dom and his collar meant to you.

Cali

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Post #: 58

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/4/2008 4:38:16 PM

Leatherist

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So, are you collard yet?

http://www.veggiegardeningtips.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/collard-greens-plant.jpg

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Post #: 59

RE: "so, are you collared yet?" - 4/4/2008 6:38:34 PM

OmegaG

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thanks, now I'm making greens this weekend.

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Post #: 60