I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!!

I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (Full Version)

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MistressVnus -> I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/3/2008 11:11:14 PM)
I can't help it. I come form a more protocol driven background. You just don't call someone "Mistress", OR "Master" in and of itself, unless it is your OWNER!! Otherwise it's, Miss"so and so"....or Master "so and so"....or "Ma'am", or "Sir, or even Madam!! But WHATEVER YOU DO.....DONT call me just plain "MISTRESS" unless you are making a statement that you are ready to be "OWNED" by me. Yes, Old Guard protocol. BUT geesh!!.....I reallly like the sound of "Mistress" after someone has earned the PRIVILEDGE to call me that. And, it reinforces the fact that I've EARNED that title. Otherwise, it's just another word. sigh Otherwise, it's just like telling everyone you've dated..."oh, I love you baby." ACK!! How do others feel about this? Especially with all the TNG stuff going on (and, I'm not knocking that, I just dont agree with all of it). EARN IT....Mistress/Master/Slave/Sub ALIKE...EARN that title and understand what it means to earn the way you might be addressed, and to address someone with their title. This thread should stir some controversy...I am SURE!! Weigh in!! Share your thoughts.

HardToTame -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/3/2008 11:18:52 PM)
I think in the bedroom set your rules but on the internet is it really worth worrying about? The way I see it, you have your name written as MistressVnus on the internet. I don't know you by name but if I was to want to refer to you directly then what else would there be to call you by? If you say "Excuse me madam", well, that attones to anyone with out a penis. Mistress OR Slave. Female slaves deserve as much respect to be called 'Ma'am' or Ms as well, so if you don't want people to refer to you as 'MistressVnus' when they directly address you, maybe drop the 'Mistress' part? Anyways, Have a nice day 'ma'am'

LadyPact -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/3/2008 11:35:49 PM)
Actually, you gave yourself the answer, and it's exactly that. You call her Mistress Venus. Just like you would attach a name to anyone you would meet in person. Yes, Venus. It tends to get on My nerves as well, but it is a good way to tell if someone is going to match your protocol type.

HardToTame -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/3/2008 11:56:24 PM)
Yes but thats exactly what I'm saying. If you have the title 'Mistress' in your name on the internet, then thats how you have to expect people to refer to you. Some people take this more serious than others and some see the word 'Mistress' as a Name as opposed to a Title. If you went onto say a music forum, and signed on with the name 'Mr Big' then when people refer to you directly they're going to call you 'Mr Big'. To then say "I get angry when people call me Mr Big" is a bit, (with all due respect) silly. Because thats the name you've dubbed yourself by. How ever, in a real life circumstance or private situation. Then I guess I can understand the frustration.

darchChylde -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/4/2008 12:15:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressVnus You just don't call someone "Mistress", OR "Master" in and of itself, unless it is your OWNER!! What is being said is that if someone has a title in their user name, use the entire name and not just the title unless you've been given the ok for it. Or, you may shorten it; but not to just the title. Example: MistressVnus = MistressVnus or Vnus or Venus, but not Mistress LadyPact = LadyPact or Pact or even LP, but not Lady It's one of the more basic protocols to learn and will save you a whole lot of real life grief if ever you are lucky enough to meet a dominant woman in the real world. Yes, some people are more stringent about this than others; but it is always best to err on the side of caution if you desire to make a good impression. quote: ORIGINAL: HardToTame If you went onto say a music forum, and signed on with the name 'Mr Big' then when people refer to you directly they're going to call you 'Mr Big'. Now, even according to your own example; you make no mention of anyone simply calling Mr. Big 'Mr.' or 'Mister'. The OP is not presenting herself as 'Mistress', but as 'MistressVnus'... is this really so hard to grasp? Just because this is online, do you think you shouldn't take the same consideration as you would in real life?

MistressOfGa -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/4/2008 12:24:33 AM)
I don't get upset when they call me Mistress. I do, however ask them to call me MoGa or Miss. I put Mistress in my ID as to show my predilection, nothing more. My submissive is required to call me Mistress. Anyone else can call me what I ask them to call me. MoGa

CalifChick -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/4/2008 12:24:40 AM)
I was in a class where there was a discussion about titles and how to address people. There was an older male sub, who was quite new, and he did not seem to understand why some Dommes didn't appreciate him calling them "Mistress" at the first meeting. He didn't "get it" until I gave him the analogy that our class leader called her Dominant by the name/title "Daddy". Would the male sub call him "Daddy" or would he call him "Sir"(or use his name)? Then the lightbulb went on, that "Mistress" was similar to "Daddy" and it would be inappropriate for anyone other than the Dom's own subs/slaves to call them that. Cali

BitaTruble -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/4/2008 12:31:54 AM)
[sm=cheerleader.gif] 100% in agreement! Being on the other side of the slash is no different either. Getting emails which start off as 'slave' this or 'slave' that are completely deletable. Celeste

atursvcMaam -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/4/2008 1:24:16 AM)
Thank You for this insight Ma'am. it is definitely worthwhile to minimize the cutesy shorthand, and to understand respect. i also agree that this is a spectacular screening tool. on the other hand, Ma'am, there are places where addressing someone by title only is intended as a symbol of respect for one's skills and abilities. The things that came to minde were Doctor, Captain, Officer, or Reverend (varies by religion). i always considered this to be a symbol of respect and not familiarity. However in each of these instances the response tends to be much better if one uses a full name.

HardToTame -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/4/2008 1:41:54 AM)
If someone specifically said "don't call me that" then I wouldn't, but if someone has a title, then thats what I call them. Its just how I've been raised.

Pyrrsefanie -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/4/2008 1:44:15 AM)
UGH. It's so presumptuous of people like that to automatically assume that I'm going to give them the time of day, let alone let them call me Mistress. I'm not old enough to be Ma'am, being called My Lady reminds me of my days as a Rennie, and Mistress... yeah, Mistress to me is the big title. You don't use Mistress (if at all) until shit's gotten serious. And even then for some reason it sounds way too trite for me. Anyone who catches my attention is instructed to call me by my first name. Most are happy to oblige; some seem offended or hurt that I don't want to be fawned all over as their Ma'amgoddessladymistress or whatever. And then I get to beat them when they slip up. [:D]

chezzy52 -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/4/2008 1:58:39 AM)
MistressVnus..i would obviously if i had never known you from the boards and saw your profile,refer to you as Mistress out of the gate.But being chezz..i have to poke a bit of fun at this..after becoming acquainted you invite the unknown submisive over where he is bound and gagged.Then a floodlight shines and you have a friend announce you like they did on the old vatiety shows...."and now,the amazing,colossal.unabashed,unabridged,fantastic.."The Great LadyV"!!!..Of course no applause or whistling cause the sub is well trussed up.Ok i had my fun and no disrespect whatsoever intended...now that i know...may i call you or start a response with Miss??

atursvcMaam -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/4/2008 2:07:11 AM)
having read this, i first, apologize for having called You Ma'am, and simply ask, is there an appropriate way to address a younger Domme, who does not feel old enough to be called "Ma'am" prior to being familiar enough to use a first name or "Mistress".

atursvcMaam -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/4/2008 2:12:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chezzy52 MistressVnus..i would obviously if i had never known you from the boards and saw your profile,refer to you as Mistress out of the gate.But being chezz..i have to poke a bit of fun at this..after becoming acquainted you invite the unknown submisive over where he is bound and gagged.Then a floodlight shines and you have a friend announce you like they did on the old vatiety shows...."and now,the amazing,colossal.unabashed,unabridged,fantastic.."The Great LadyV"!!!..Of course no applause or whistling cause the sub is well trussed up.Ok i had my fun and no disrespect whatsoever intended...now that i know...may i call you or start a response with Miss?? the submissive would automatically lose points for not being inventive enough to find some way to applaud, trussed up or not. Where is the imagination in that.

Goddess2002 -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/4/2008 2:35:55 AM)
This is exactly why I don't have Mistress in My username...it is reserved for my slave only. I have this stated in My profile as well.[sm=sm.gif]

LadyPact -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/4/2008 2:56:43 AM)
The easiest way to go about what to call someone is usually pretty easy. You just call them what they give you. It's rather simple on the net. Everybody creates a user name here. In most cases, just use the full name that they have on their profile. This goes back to erring on the side of caution that darch chylde mentioned earlier. When meeting people in the lifestyle at events and so forth, the same holds true. Call that person whatever name they were introduced to you by. Don't shorten it, especially just to the title. That implies that you have that particular dynamic with that person. Unless I'm mistaken, that was the issue with the original post. If you're not familiar with the person's name, granted, some don't like it, but Ma'am is generally the way to go. The folks that don't prefer it will usually give you what they would rather be called.

HardToTame -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/4/2008 2:58:10 AM)
I don't really see any, value in the labels and terminology. Of course if it makes it adds more for the person being served, then yes, but for me I don't like to be that formal about it all, or not so much don't like, but don't feel a need to be so formal about it all.

pyrobabe -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/4/2008 3:03:21 AM)
My thoughts on this subject are there is no simple/easy way to tell if the dominant has really earned the right to be called a Master/Mistress. My thoughts on what I consider an EARNED title of Master/Mistress is someone that has first served as a slave him/herself and trained more than one slave as Master/Mistress. One of our rules is you can't be a good Master/Mistress unless you have served as a good slave first. How do you prove that on the internet through words on your profile? How do you distinguish a true Master/Mistress from the rest of the dominants that claim to be an EARN Master/Mistress. People act, people can copy and paste I suggest mentioning in your profile what you want to be called and any sub/slave that doesn’t do so doesn’t get a response from you or points deducted if your interested in them. This is something Master and I wrote in response to a sub/slave’s profile that brought up the same issue about not respecting the Master/Mistress protocol. “We have read profiles where sub/slave wannabees have said they will not call others Master/Mistress Sir or Ma’am at the first meeting. If you have no respect for earned Masterhood, by calling those who have truly earned the right to be called Master or Mistress, Master/Mistress, why would a Master/Mistress have a sincere desire to train you? Yes there are many who claim the privilege without paying there dues, but to say that you will not address them as Master/Mistress until they prove themselves to you is arrogant, ill-mannered and non-slave like behavior. Do you even know what an earned Masterhood is? Obviously those who have these thoughts have some criteria for Bull Shit Artist. What does your BSdar say? How do you know a true Master? Is it not better to error on the side caution and to be polite. sub or slave wannabees who have no respect or manners are not truly trying to find bliss in service. If you cannot say Master you can at least have good manners and say "Sir" as in "Yes, Sir, Yes Ma’am". If you really believe you can’t be polite, you may need to rethink being a sub/slave and set your sights on being a switch or a Domme. On the other hand if you have decided to be a sub/slave and you do believe that you can be polite and very submissive, we would be willing to consider training you. Sometimes what seems like surrender isn’t surrender at all, but liberation. It’s about seeing clearly the way your inner life is and accepting it. It’s about what your heart needs. It is about being true to your inner feelings, because the pain of not being true to yourself is far far greater and more debilitating then living a lie. In our Poly Family we are all about the work, sharing the load and the rewards. Even though our family is a patriarchy, with Master in charge, and we expect 100% effort all the time, for every ounce of energy each slave expends they will receive 3 times the reward. Conversely if they drain our resources and time with rebellion and drama they will be punished or asked to leave. A polyfamily is not for the make believe slaves. Anyway at the very least we are friendly people and are always interested in friends.”

pyrobabe -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/4/2008 3:14:14 AM)
My Master has actually been knighted as a real Sir from Scottland so he deserves the title of Sir, but that does not take away from those who wish to be called Sir/Ma'am or Master/Mistress. This style of training that a Master/Mistress embraces is enables them to make their slaves the best slaves that they can be. Any Master/Mistress who does not want the best their property can give them is not much of a Master/Mistress. Almost anybody can break a horse, but few are horse whisperers. Every Master/Mistress should wish to be good at the art of slave training, most are not. HardToTame "I don't really see any, value in the labels and terminology. Of course if it makes it adds more for the person being served, then yes, but for me I don't like to be that formal about it all, or not so much don't like, but don't feel a need to be so formal about it all." Lack of formality means lack of discipline, lack of discipline means a sloppy slave, a sloppy slave means and indulgent Master/Mistress. Do you want to be indulged or trained?

Madame4a -> RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! (4/4/2008 3:20:12 AM)
Surprise surprise.. I agree with you... generally, I don't even like ma'am... as that's reserved for people in service to me. I know people try to be polite and use it.. but once I ask... I give my first name.. and leave it at that...

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