RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!!

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RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 7:30:51 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
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quote:

but once I ask... I give my first name.. and leave it at that...

Yes, Madame. (Me...ducking====>)

LOL

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http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

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Post #: 41

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 7:31:06 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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This is partly why I do not like titles at all. I do not ask my boys to use the, though they have both become fond of calling me Mommy. I do not answer to Mistress, Goddess, or anything else. I will respond to Maam only because it is polite and not a title , in my eyes. Living in the south, Maam and Sir are par for the course.
Anything else is cut off at the pass.
If you wish to refer to me, use my screen name. Call me DV, Diurnal or Vampire. Do not call me Madame Vampire, Mistress DV or anything else like that.

And no, HardToTame we wont hate you for wanting to be indugled. It is simply not what we are looking for and we wouldnt take you on. That doesnt mean there isnt someone who does wish to indulge a pet, there are plenty of those types as well.

DV

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(in reply to MistressVnus)

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Post #: 42

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 7:33:49 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

quote:

Alrighty then, Ma'an it is.

That's only appropriate if I have my strap-on on. And then it's spelled M......A........N!!! (you know the song?) *chuckle*
Smartalec.

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to chiaThePet)

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Post #: 43

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 7:35:50 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
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oh I have another name for you... missy... but I'm too much of a lady to use it here...

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Post #: 44

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 7:37:31 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

quote:

How you are raised has a lot to do with it. To tell a little about the South, what it's like, what we do etc. . . . Growing up everyone was Miss <firstname> or Mr. <firstname>. Everyone else was Sir or Maam. Your fater was "Yes Sir!" and your mother was "Yes Maam!" Unless you were hurt then she could be mama, which is an anagram for maam, you notice.

My mother was from Alabama. I grew up with the same ettiquette. Also, very similar to the military ettiquette. Which I also had instilled in me.
Great example.

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In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

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Post #: 45

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 7:37:38 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressVnus

quote:

Alrighty then, Ma'an it is.

That's only appropriate if I have my strap-on on. And then it's spelled M......A........N!!! (you know the song?) *chuckle*
Smartalec.

Aw you gotta love me.

chia* (the pet)

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Post #: 46

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 7:41:45 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
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quote:

oh I have another name for you... missy... but I'm too much of a lady to use it here...

Will it make me wet? *chuckle* Here...whisper in my ear====>

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to Madame4a)

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Post #: 47

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 7:47:48 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
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quote:

If you're not familiar with the person's name, granted, some don't like it, but Ma'am is generally the way to go. The folks that don't prefer it will usually give you what they would rather be called.

Exxxxxxxxxxactly!!

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In the ties that bind,
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http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

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Post #: 48

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 7:53:14 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

quote:

usually a mix of Sir his name and if he enjoys Daddy.

Do you call every m/Dominant Daddy?
NO
Because it is a sign that he owns "you." You are "His" girl. Do you want all other girls to call your Daddy, Daddy? NO
Same thing with Master/Mistress. It is reserved for the intimacy of that couple's dynamic.

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In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

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Post #: 49

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 7:55:22 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
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Whats all of the whineing abouot. At least they arent saying hey you. I agree with hardtotame. If your name is posted as Mistress then expect to be called that. Now as for me if you put Goddess or Princess before your name I will call you Hey You.

(in reply to Madame4a)

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Post #: 50

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 7:55:38 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
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pyrobabe.....

The OP is more about the protocol of how to address someone verses whether they have earned their title.

When I spoke about "earning it" I was referring to the premise that one must earn the "priveledge" of being "allowed" to call me Mistress.

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In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to pyrobabe)

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Post #: 51

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 7:57:41 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
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quote:

I have just stuck to first names or their nicks and so far I have been fine.

This is still very appropriate. No one is saying you "have" to call someone Ma'am or Sir. We are giving examples of options. A first name is one of them.

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to mantis65)

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Post #: 52

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 8:00:14 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
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quote:

If your name is posted as Mistress

But my name is NOT posted as "Mistress." It is posted as MistressVnus!!

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In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

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Post #: 53

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 8:08:42 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
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quote:

The first step in clear communication begins with how you introduce yourself and label yourself

Very well "thetammyjo." My name is MistressVnus!! You may call me MistressVnus.

If you think you should just call me "Mistress" then perhaps we should just call you "the." Will that work?

No one is complaining. We are discussing our different backgrounds in PROTOCOLS.

When someone calls me Mistress, I correct them because I know they have been floating around on forums where "anything goes" and they don't know any better. If they persist in calling me Mistress after that, then we have no need for further discussion because now it is evident to me that they aren't "listening" and will probably waste a lot of my energy. Just like those who dont really read the OP and seem to respond to every OP with "why are you whining"...or "complaining". I see a pattern developing in this way with "certain" posters who really don't have much else to offer regarding intellectual discourse. At least, not from what I can tell so far.

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to thetammyjo)

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Post #: 54

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 8:13:31 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
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quote:

Aw you gotta love me.

I must admit, I have a little endearment for you.

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In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to chiaThePet)

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Post #: 55

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 8:14:55 AM

JoyfulMistress

Posts: 628
Joined: 10/31/2007
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It is rather frustratiing .. not to cast a shadow on the TNG that is coming up .. however in OG One had to earn their leather.. earn their tittle thus it was reserved for those that earned your time attention and collar. I am not going to sound like the old guy who is yelling at the kids to stay off his lawn,I will say that it does get frustrating to be called Mistress by people I have never met and they have been told more than once to call me something other than Mistress and have been explained that only those that are *Mine* are allowed to call me that.It has become so frustrating,almost as much as strangers emailing me wanting a instaDomme(One to give them a reason or two to jack off or perhaps reason for denial only then get back into their nilla lives) which is number one in my frustation book these days.
However with all this being said I do give the ones who do call me Mistress a moment of explination * Please call me Joy,Ma'am or Mistress Joy .. as the single word .. Mistress... is reserved ONLY for those that are Mine*... so I am not rolling my eyes the moment I speak to these people but do understand that ten to one they are not of OG ... doesn't mean that is a horrid thing .. it does offer a chance to learn .There isn't a cookie cutter way of BDSM(how boring it would be if we all fit into a cookie cutter) so my hang up about the term Mistress is not everyone's but it does help filter in who could be concidered for more .

(in reply to Madame4a)

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Post #: 56

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 8:15:53 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

quote:

If you wish to refer to me, use my screen name. Call me DV, Diurnal or Vampire. Do not call me Madame Vampire, Mistress DV or anything else like that.

That says it all perfectly. I don't mind being referred to as MV, as well. And, like you, if you wish to refer to me and are not sure...use the ENTIRE screen name. It's pretty simple, really.

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

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Post #: 57

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 8:23:37 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

quote:

Now, even according to your own example; you make no mention of anyone simply calling Mr. Big 'Mr.' or 'Mister'.
The OP is not presenting herself as 'Mistress', but as 'MistressVnus'... is this really so hard to grasp? Just because this is online, do you think you shouldn't take the same consideration as you would in real life?

TY, TY, TYVM

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to darchChylde)

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Post #: 58

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 9:09:27 AM

khem

Posts: 300
Joined: 8/8/2005
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If her profile spells out how she likes to be addressed, it makes sense that she would expect people reading her profile to follow that if they are contacting her as a potential.

I tend to not be nearly as hung up over it as I used to be. I figure, most have no clue anyway and no experience with BDSM. For all they know, all the online stories they've read have the female dominant referred to as "Mistress." Also, some try to stay on the side of being (what they consider) respectful and using a title just in case. Again, poor judgement from anyone who has been around, but understandable from someone that is newish.

I used to hate the "ma'am" It turns out I just hate it when it is overused. Like, if I'm talking to someone and every damn thing is "Yes, Ma'am" and "I hadn't considered that Ma'am." I'd much rather have someone reserve the Ma'am for a response to a direct order or as a show of enthusiam ... IE: do you like CBT? "Yes, Ma'am!"

As for the Mistresses thing, I generally don't care for it. I do know it really depends on who is saying it (and who they are to me) and how its being said.

Goddess...ick, can't stand it. It just feels too egoish to me and I have hangups about religious stuff. I can see how others would use it and it doesn't bug me, it just doesn't apply to me.

Lady, I like. It's a bit ren faire, true. Would depend on the situation. And not m'Lady. Just "Lady such and such"

Personally, I go by the name MsK in bdsm groups and such. It came about from me signing emails with my first initial. I never thought it up nor encouraged it; people just started calling me that. It has the benefit of not having any element of "cringe" factor that I sometimes get when people introduce themselves as "Lordthis" or "Sirthat" (I have no hangups over the people, some are great friends, it's just a name thing). Ms doesn't have that overly titled feel for me.

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Post #: 59

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/4/2008 9:12:24 AM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

Ok, i read the whole thing and it really blew up from last night. i'm going to be avoiding this thread like the plague because i'm tempted to start stepping on some toes; so everyone have fun.

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if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
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Where the fuck do I post?

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Post #: 60