RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!!

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RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/5/2008 10:37:30 PM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
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To me, Mistress is a relationship term. I don't treat it as an honoriffic, but as an intimate name which implies a deep commitment.

Ergo, if I want someone to call me Mistress, I am saying something rather profound about how I feel about that person. I realize that this term does not have a universal meaning. I try not to take offense when someone doesn't realize that they shouldn't use this word with a complete stranger just because she happens to be a femme domme.

Nonetheless, Venus is right. I really do not like to be called Mistress by someone who does not wear my collar. Any more than I'm sure a man would like to be called "husband" by a woman who does not wear his ring.

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-- Robert A. Heinlein

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RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/5/2008 10:40:32 PM

Evility

Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressVnus
EARN that title and understand what it means to earn the way you might be addressed, and to address someone with their title.

Sentiments and philosophies like this are the reason the old guard is referred to in past tense. I did agree with the rest of your rant - certain forms of address should be confined to certain relationship dynamics.

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Post #: 102

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/5/2008 11:36:08 PM

mantis65

Posts: 456
Joined: 12/27/2004
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Ok show me the web page with THE PROTOCOLS the ones everyone everywhere accepts as standards in every public situation. Then I will learn them

(in reply to MistressVnus)

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RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/6/2008 12:09:39 AM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

Mantis, not all dommes are into protocol. I find much of it ridiculous. You'll probably be happiest doing whatever feels comfortable for you and finding someone who feels the same, rather than trying to turn yourself into a cookie-cutter sub.

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Post #: 104

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/6/2008 12:15:09 AM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
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Mantis, if you do want to learn more about protocol, you can start here: http://www.evilmonk.org/A/protocol.cfm

For some reason, I couldn't get the link in my original post.

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Post #: 105

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/6/2008 7:16:57 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
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quote:

show me the web page with THE PROTOCOLS

There were two links in the post you just responsded to. And, Venatrix has just provided another.

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Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

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Post #: 106

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/6/2008 9:50:05 AM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

Well I do not agree completely, I DO prefer at the very least Maam--that shows some education as opposed to "hey babe"--oy that pisses Me off major----what makes the difference for Me is giving them the right to say " my Mistress" and that is an honor that someone will have to work to earn.

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The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

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Post #: 107

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/6/2008 8:24:13 PM

MissSCD

Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
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I am high protocol; however, this is a website. I am not going to be that concerned if someone calls my slave by his given slave name unless they are trying to "capture" him from me, then I will show you about true protocol.
Let the kiddies play. They are just trying to get a date.
I just don't think that is a big deal here.

Regards, MissSCD

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Post #: 108

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/6/2008 9:13:20 PM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
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quote:

Let the kiddies play. They are just trying to get a date.

I understand your tolerance.
I also think that a little education could enhnace their chances of getting one!!

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

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Post #: 109

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/6/2008 9:20:04 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSCD
Let the kiddies play. They are just trying to get a date.

Regards, MissSCD

Funny. I tend this to be My attitude about almost anything that is 'online only' these days.

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RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/7/2008 4:39:06 AM

LadyJeelys

Posts: 99
Joined: 11/17/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
No, you won't find much of these things in online chat. It's been My personal observation that those who are online only know little about protocols, and most folks you'll meet in real time do. It's actually a hint at which category a person falls into. As I said earlier, this can be a good way for someone who has protocol high up on their list of requirements, to filter out those who won't match with them because they aren't big on it. Maybe you might look at it in reference to your analogy of speaking Italian. If you were to plan a trip to Italy, even if you didn't speak the language, wouldn't you want to know a few key phrases?

Oddly enough, I had a similar conversation this weekend....and I still disagree with the view point. This assumes that those who go to want to go into the "community" are the folks who are "real". I just find that to be, well, hooey. The people I know who've been Femdom the longest are people who've NEVER gone to an "event". I know one couple who were married 60+ years (give you an idea how old they were went the married!) and another that has been married for 57 years....and the wives were the ones with the paddles.

This viewpoint does not even consider that someone doesn't want to learn the "protocols" as created by someone else. I mean, wow, it just seems to me the whole point of self expression and discovering one's own path and seeking to fulfill one's own desires is individualized. Plus, since every region "community" is regionalized, they "protocols" for one element of the "community" do not carry over to another.

So, to alter your example (because Italian isn't my thing) its kind of like learning the French of Ici and going to Paris....of the Spanish of Uruguay and going to Puero Rico or the Gaelic of Lewish and going to North Uist. No matter how well you learned, you language is going to sound off and your word usage is not goig to meet local "protocols".

So anyway, it just seems to me the whole protocol thing is just a way for one group to look down on another group.

And we don't know that the folks who approach us using the "wrong" term are dome kind of verbal frontulists. We just assume that....and even so, exactly what does it cost us? I own secondary...it tkaes absolutely nothing away from me or from him if some other guy sayings, "Hello Mistress".

(in reply to LadyPact)

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Post #: 111

RE: I am NOT YOUR MISTRESS!! - 4/7/2008 6:31:41 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
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~~fast reply~~

in my screen name on the usual places i hang out (and have for years) my screen name includes the word Lady. i have been pestered on and off for years by HNG's who assume that means i'm a domme. nope, it just means i have girly bits, and mama tried real hard to make me ladylike.

the dominant ladies here, i would address by "Miss Given name" or "Miss Chosen name" out of respect for their place in the community, unless given permission to address them otherwise. same thing with the domly-doms, because i was taught right, even if i dont always adhere to it.

i answer to adoracat, kitten, cat...its all still me. each of us has a right to ask others "please address me as thisname" and also the right to turn our backs on and refuse to acknowledge those who just will not do so.