Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore?

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Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/12/2008 5:25:45 AM

ScottyDont

Posts: 34
Joined: 4/25/2007
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What if someone said you were more like a Sub?

Do you have to stop topping in scenes?

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/12/2008 5:29:12 AM

missfrillypants

Posts: 124
Joined: 4/27/2007
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who cares what someone said?
if you like topping in scenes then do that.
i thought that's what a switch was, and i imagine that the switch doesn't flip the same way all the time or even at the same rate for everyone. that's like saying that because i go through phases where i want guys or phases where i want girls more that i'm not bisexual. either that person was stupid, or they just tend to be around you when you're in sub mode.

(in reply to ScottyDont)

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/12/2008 5:49:10 AM

MadameXTC

Posts: 96
Joined: 9/30/2004
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I agree do what you feel makes you happy. It shouldn't matter what someone else says to you. If you are happy with what you do and how you do it , who should tell you otherwise? I find myself more submissive, but that does not mean that I should forget being a switch and only become submissive to everyone. Everyone I play with I react differently too. Some people I feel more submissive and some people I feel more Dominant. But I go with whatever makes me happy and works in that situation.
\

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"Dominance is best viewed through a submissive's actions"

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/12/2008 6:50:37 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

I was an active Mistress when I met my Master, and after I became collared I changed my status here to slave. I still gave advice on the boards from the standpoint of a Mistress when it was called for, and a couple of days ago He gave me the task of once again showing my designation as a Mistress and having online sessions.

I feel that I am truly both. With Him I do not top, but He does allow me leeway in a lot of my tasks to please Him as I choose. He enjoys the creativity. I am a teaching style Mistress, or Mommy Domme, so it is nice to being back to be able to care for my flock.

You are what you are. If you are in a collared relationship your Owner has some say, but no one else does. There are a lot of people that don't understand switches and think that they are just confused people that can't make up their mind. I disagree wholeheartedly. I am MOST fulfilled as my Master's slave, but I also enjoy my turn at running the show.

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/12/2008 7:05:49 PM

BlackPhx

Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
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Switches can cycle, one day they are far more on the dom side the next (week, month, year) they are extremely submissive. Don't worry about it be who you are at all times and how you feel and you should stay on a pretty even keel, even though your partner may want you to be submissive all the time.

poenkitten

(in reply to ScottyDont)

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/13/2008 3:16:35 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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No....unless you, in your own head, equate bottoming to submission and Topping to Domination. Many do. A lot don't. I know too many masochistic Masters and sadistic slaves for it to be true in my world.

Define yourself, it's at that point you lear to be the real you. "...because once you are real, you can't be ugly, except to those who don't understand." Skin Horse to Velveteen Rabbit.

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The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to ScottyDont)

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/13/2008 5:30:53 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
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OK I'm not a switch, but this question caught My eye and is something I covered a number of years ago when I Owned a switch.

I only ever saw/felt her submissive side. I percieved her as a sub with slave tendencys who enjoyed topping... but as I got her to understand that didn't mean that was who she was... just what My perception of her was because of the way WE interacted. I drew her submission so of course that was to the fore and would be what I saw of her.

After that conversation she begged for and got permission to take on a pet of her Own. Now he only ever felt her Dominant side, he percived her as a Domme who, for some strange reason that he couldn't fathom, submitted to a Master. But again it didn't matter and didn't change who SHE was, it was another matter of perspective.

she was My Owned girl, she was his Mistress, neither caused conflict.... she was just her and it worked. Each relationship functioned within its Own perameters.

OP: you seem to be saying that you are not a switch any more because someone ELSE said so..... what do YOU feel inside yourself? What is YOUR perspecive of you?

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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/13/2008 5:36:41 AM

Phin

Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
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Dont worry about the opinions of others. do your thing and enjoy it. I used to consider myself a switch, but now consider myself Dom, but that was the way I felt, not what I was told. If you still feel you Dom/Top side, embrace it as much as your bottom/sub side. Enjoy your switchiness, you get the best of both worlds.

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"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/13/2008 11:30:15 AM

PrettyPaddles

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Joined: 4/13/2008
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Again repeating what has been said. You know you better than anyone else. Better even then your master in almost all cases. If the person who you're TOPPING says that you're acting like a sub while topping, thats something to look at. other than that, to hell with them.

(in reply to Phin)

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/13/2008 8:49:57 PM

Dmon

Posts: 82
Joined: 12/27/2007
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Seriously, it breaks down to this. Whether you tend toward one side more, or the other. If you like to Top AND bottom, then your a switch. Have fun with it, and go for it. It's really not important which side you lean toward.
And in this case I tend to think that only you can decide that, because every relationship you develop with some one is differnt.Some ladies bring out the Top in me, and other just make me want to drop to my knees. And that person only knows how I am when I am around them. (I hope that made sense)
Really it doesn't matter because as long as you enjoy both Top and Bottom, you should embrace them both. Explore each one's depth, and simply have fun.

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/14/2008 9:38:55 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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Ignore the person who said this.
They don't get to define you, only you can define yourself.

(in reply to Dmon)

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/14/2008 12:59:29 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
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If i was told or asked to be something i am not , that would not be in my best interest's and would also mean i am not being true to who i am . If i made a change like no more Topping it would have to be my call and i do not see that as an option .

(in reply to Celeste43)

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/14/2008 1:54:43 PM

FlamingRedhead

Posts: 451
Joined: 3/4/2007
From: Georgia
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I had a dominant tell me I was just a submissive who likes to top, not a "true" switch. I had been wondering what the hell the difference is. The truth is that there is no difference! Just because someone sees your submissive side doesn't mean your dominant side doesn't exist. You don't have to stop topping in scenes unless (A) you can't find anyone to scene with, (B) you have an agreement to stop because you're the sub in a relationship or (C) because the dungeon master kicks you out because you really suck. lol You don't have to stop just because someone said you're more like a sub. If I had listened to everyone who said "you can't" or "you won't" or "you shouldn't" do something, I'd never have done a damn thing!

For instance, my last boyfriend told me I needed to get a life. WTF? Since I broke up with him 2 weeks ago, I've been to a new bar with some friends and played the tambourine with the band for a few sets, taken my son to see "Horton Hears A Who" with a friend and her son, been to a party and then a bar in the same night with my recently turned 21-year-old cousin and been to a dungeon for a party where I was a top and a bottom. The moral of the story is be careful what you wish for, or you just might get it! lol Okay, that's the end of my rant for today. Carry on!

_____________________________

I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's unlike anything
When you're loving me

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/14/2008 6:22:28 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
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Red> dont cha just love it when others push their perceptions upon others .Sounds like getting away and gettin a life more so a new one was just the cure after al;l and you should thank him for the grand suggestion as your much happier reading the post .
smiles congrats

(in reply to FlamingRedhead)

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/15/2008 12:30:48 AM

michaels4evr

Posts: 184
Joined: 8/8/2006
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Question:

Were you interacting with this person and they said that was the vibe they felt from you? If so maybe they were simply expressing what they felt was the dynamic or energy exchange between you.. I recently Topped a good friend who is also a switch, and during the scene it became clear to us that the energy flow wasn't quite right. For us, it feels more natural that I be on the bottom to him. That doesn't make me no longer a switch, it just means that during that interaction, and maybe in future interactions, we are best matched to play on the opposite ends of the whip..

-michael's

(in reply to azropedntied)

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/15/2008 9:51:27 AM

FlamingRedhead

Posts: 451
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From: Georgia
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Uh-huh. *rme* What he failed to realize is that I've always had a life. I just chose to have it revolve around him for the last year as my boyfriend/dom. Thankfully, my friends were happy and willing to pick right up where we left off! *smiles*

Thank you.

_____________________________

I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's unlike anything
When you're loving me

(in reply to azropedntied)

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/15/2008 4:36:46 PM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
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I love your signature!

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Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to FlamingRedhead)

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/15/2008 6:28:45 PM

FlamingRedhead

Posts: 451
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From: Georgia
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Thanks! *ggls*

_____________________________

I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's unlike anything
When you're loving me

(in reply to Aine)

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/15/2008 7:24:29 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
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Red >some are slow learners ..Some loose the chances they are given .In the end glad your happy .

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RE: Okay - what if you weren't a switch anymore? - 4/16/2008 6:05:39 AM

BloodLuna