RE: What's a switch to do?

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RE: What's a switch to do? - 10/29/2008 2:52:27 PM

msbunny

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/12/2006
Status: offline

I am a switch, as is my husband. This is an interesting predicament to be in. I agree with other posters in that when it comes to different people it depends on the chemistry/personality of that person as to what role I will be to them and my feelings towards them. I dont change my mind later on. The problem can be that I am primarily submissive as is my husband and its almost like an anti-power struggle in our house asto who will dom who..confusing at times lol but I love him and he is my husband...but he did start off as Master to me before we got married and didnt go total sub onme until afterwards...surprise lol..grr..heh

(in reply to lunar7)

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Post #: 21

RE: What's a switch to do? - 10/29/2008 7:04:24 PM

XaviersXian

Posts: 525
Joined: 9/8/2007
From: Australia
Status: offline

greetings to all,

I find that both Mistress and Slave are compelled in me (my partner motivates one or other position). This reaction is not something I can turn on and off at will. I don't consider myself a "switch" at all (it was the only thing in the Collarme profile settings that remotely describes me).

well wishes,

(in reply to msbunny)

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Post #: 22

RE: What's a switch to do? - 10/30/2008 2:08:13 AM

Motionflipotion

Posts: 65
Joined: 1/24/2008
From: City of depression
Status: offline

It's simple.
As a Dom I do what I want.
As a sub I make way for progress.
Between the two I am a perfect trainer, and a Switch.
Most of the labels and definitions are aesthetic. Most of the mode of play or how serious play is, is going to be dictated by the chemistry between you and another person, or the lack there of.
BD/SM can usualy be compared to the nature of a wolf pack. The pack and the member together define a persons role.
To answer the question of this thread. Yes, Switches are usually crazier, we are usually smarter, and alomst far more manipulative. So, if you experience doesn't allow you the ability to roll with punches, don't date a switch. Because every true switch I have ever met, dated or known well, is a two handfulls and hold on for dear life scenario. Imagine the annoying immaturity of a sub and need to cause trouble, with the power of a Dom/me. It's like keeping a coyote or a wolf as a pet. Not an easy thing you should do unless you feel it's your calling.

_____________________________

<Don Flip

(in reply to lunar7)

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Post #: 23

RE: What's a switch to do? - 10/30/2008 4:45:47 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

I view being a switch as a way of encompassing my ability to occupy different roles/energetic interactions with different folks in different circumstances. Same as identifying as bi-. There does seem to be a similar level of negativity about folks identifying as each of these; the accusation of refusal to commit, yadda, yadda, yadda. I don't see it that way at all. I see it as inclusive without dictating anything particular.
As for not pairing of and the whole poly thing. That's a whole other hill of beansentirely, though I believe we are, by nature, non-monogamous.
If only I had the answers to the Universe...
Davan

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Post #: 24

RE: What's a switch to do? - 10/30/2008 5:44:24 PM

theobserver

Posts: 456
Joined: 8/18/2008
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To be honest, I selected switch because that's the only category I could see myself fitting in right now. It's not how I define why I'm here or what I'm looking for. I just don't know yet. There is something nice about that to. I feel I am giving myself time to truly find out in a truthful way. It's not about the physical kink of D/S that is alluring to me, it's very much the mental and emotional potential of what I can discover inside myself.

I just reread what I wrote and it sounds so flowery, but hell that's the only way I know how to write.

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Post #: 25

RE: What's a switch to do? - 11/7/2008 10:43:27 AM

Hathalud

Posts: 33
Joined: 11/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ididabadbadthing

(3) Switches really are a distinct group, and switches should probably pair off with switches. That's the difference, after all, between being a switch and being a bisexual - you're not limited by gender dimorphism. You're more like the characters in Ursula Le Guin's novel, The Left Hand of Darkness, who can assume either gender at will. The problem is that, at any given time, both switches may want to be dominant or submissive. I've had the experience of being almost wholly dominant for an extended period of time, as well as being almost wholly submissive for an extended period of time, as well as times when I don't know which way I'll wake up in the morning. This may create real problems of synchronicity for switch couples. At the very least, the negotiation will be intense, and at worst there may be long periods of irreconcilable desires.

The beauty of this relationship dynamic is that you can achieve a scenario at times that is mutually Dom and sub for both at the same time. It's wonderful fun. Take turns hurting and pleasuring one another.... mmmmm, I've fond memories because this sort of a thing is a unique experience.

As a switch myself, some days I'm feeling dommy, most days I'm not... Then again, I might find myself in a boring scenario and decide it's time to take charge so I grab the reigns and lead the way, taking everyone in a direction out of idleness. For me being which side of the "flip of the switch" is all about mind frame and emotions.

Sometimes I have a bad day and I just want to start tearing into someone and the let my love and humanity assert itself and draw me out of my emotional funk by caring for the person beneath me. Other times, my need to please dictates... sometimes that need to please means that I have to take the Dom role.

Still other times in talking with someone, I find I won't get them to listen to me (this is generally in emotional turmoil times for them. Such as extremely depressed people) unless I raise my back and begin being commanding and domineering. It's in these instances that I'm most thankful for my intellect and my commanding presence when I choose to to exhibit it.

Cheers,
Hath`alud

(in reply to ididabadbadthing)

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Post #: 26

RE: What's a switch to do? - 11/7/2008 10:52:45 AM

Hathalud

Posts: 33
Joined: 11/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Motionflipotion

It's simple.
As a Dom I do what I want.
As a sub I make way for progress.
Between the two I am a perfect trainer, and a Switch.
Most of the labels and definitions are aesthetic. Most of the mode of play or how serious play is, is going to be dictated by the chemistry between you and another person, or the lack there of.
BD/SM can usualy be compared to the nature of a wolf pack. The pack and the member together define a persons role.
To answer the question of this thread. Yes, Switches are usually crazier, we are usually smarter, and alomst far more manipulative. So, if you experience doesn't allow you the ability to roll with punches, don't date a switch. Because every true switch I have ever met, dated or known well, is a two handfulls and hold on for dear life scenario. Imagine the annoying immaturity of a sub and need to cause trouble, with the power of a Dom/me. It's like keeping a coyote or a wolf as a pet. Not an easy thing you should do unless you feel it's your calling.

By golly, I like the way you think and you've summed up a large portion of us switches quite succinctly. Sometimes I'm wanting a power struggle, sometimes I'm not... but I'm always living life to the max. That's why I enjoy being an edge player.

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Post #: 27

RE: What's a switch to do? - 11/10/2008 2:12:20 PM

blu3boy1

Posts: 4
Status: offline

Switch or otherwise, we're all unique (I'll spare you the snowflake analogy). In my opinion, the only thing that the labels "Dom" , "Sub", "Switch" or "Slave" really say is just a general hue, like Red, Green or my fav Blu3

(in reply to lunar7)

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Post #: 28

RE: What's a switch to do? - 11/27/2008 7:10:13 PM

poetsfate

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/27/2008
Status: offline

I think #2 is closest.
For me it depends on the person and/or the situation. If I'm with someone who is more submissive than me then I top. Sometimes I've walked into a party or gone to the dungeon and there are so many subs its like they give off a group essence and I just gotta top.
A friend recently reminded me of the Kensian study distribution on sexuality. We're the people in the middle of the dominant/submissive chart.

< Message edited by poetsfate -- 11/27/2008 7:12:17 PM >

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Post #: 29

RE: What's a switch to do? - 11/28/2008 5:05:31 PM

AurumCaminus

Posts: 50
Joined: 10/30/2008
From: Cleveland, OH
Status: offline

Another interesting way to look at it is from an occult stand point.

The Hermetic tradition teaches that the active and passive principles are at work in everyone, and that balancing those instincts leads to wisdom and enlightenment. Switches may very well be those who chose to express that balance in thier sexuallity and relationships. To seek from both frames of mind the knowlage of self and fulfillment of intimacy and desire.

(in reply to poetsfate)

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Post #: 30

RE: What's a switch to do? - 11/29/2008 6:36:33 PM

youQadesh

Posts: 84
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: beltainefaerie

That said, I am a poly bisexual switch and it does work quite well for me. It isn't a situation I strove to create, but just the way my life evolved.

I'm not the only one!