RE: "I read it on the internet..."

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RE: "I read it on the internet..." - 4/20/2008 4:37:08 PM

TNstepsout

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RE: "I read it on the internet..." - 4/21/2008 2:16:02 PM

ELUSIVE1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

That question has an awful lot of variables. I don't think I'd ever want to engage in a complex, potentially deadly activity with a stranger, after reading a single post about it on the CM forums. However, I might engage in a relatively simple, slightly risky activity with someone I knew well and had a good rapport with after reading several articles online. But then I'm a cautious type.

I agree with you there, some things reading about is enough to figure it out...the ones that scare me are the ones who live their entire lifestyle on the net, read so much about it and offer advise to others, yet don't go out and live the life...I wonder when I see some around here that post all through the day...nice words you know, but show me what you know and what you can do..

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RE: "I read it on the internet..." - 4/25/2008 8:22:08 AM

ponyboyachilles

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility

I think we've all heard the saying "I read it on the internet - it must be true" at some time or another. I read the following sentiments posted in the "Not age but gender" thread and it brought a question or two to mind. In an attempt not to hijack I'll pose them here. These were the comments (the underlining is my own). They were posted by a third party in that thread but that is irrelevant:

"In S/m play you literally are placing your life in your Dom/Domme's hands. You have to trust that they know what they are doing.

Would you trust someone to wrap their hands around your throat and cover your mouth and nose if they were totally inexperienced at breath play?

Would you let somebody who had only read about it on the Internet pierce your body with needles, or do labia or scrotum injections?

Would you let a novice cover your back in alcohol and set fire to you without them being properly trained on fire play?

These are all easy examples. All but the dumbest of submissives would see the dangers and say no."

Dominants, what are your thoughts? In your opinion is it possible for someone to read and research an activity online and gain sufficient insight into same to be able to attempt it in real time safely and successfully or is that simply not possible? Must every bdsm skill only come by way of having been taught by someone else who already has accomplished that skill in real time? Or perhaps are there some things you can pick up on your own and others that no amount of self studying will suffice?

To the submissives... would you or do you consent to activities when the dominant admits to not having any real time experience at such? Is it a litmus test of sorts for you?

I would never have any kind of surgery done on me by a doctor who had not done it a few hundred or thousand times, but even for that doctor, there was a day when and a patient on which he performed that procedure for the first time. My hard limits are pretty specific, and I have enough experience that I can spot a faker or newbie a long way off. Fortunately, to date my instincts have proven to be spot-on and my experiences have been all good. So to answer your question, no, I would never trust someone to bind me and then do kinky things to my body if I did not believe She had considerable experience at having done that before, so I knew (or had reson to believe) I would be safe in Her hands while She was doing it. But I do not disrespect those who would not have such a requirement for their Domme (or Dom). To each his/her own hard limit(s).

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RE: "I read it on the internet..." - 4/25/2008 9:03:44 AM

FRSguy

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Some the stuff in this is somewhat complicated but for the most part were not talking rocket science here. I pull from as many resources as I can when researching something new and I havent had any difficulties. I also practice as much as I can before doing stuff for real however for instance I am thinking of trying water sports. I have exchanged communications with several people about it before hand but it isnt anything I really need a demo of. When it comes to suspention bondage that of course is something a little different but then it still is not rocket science... there is plenty of web sites that explain bondage and show how to tie knots and plenty of slings and stuff that someone can start out with... safety is usually a big thing that is talked about on most web sites so you actually get inundated with it a little but still most everything comes down to just plain common sense. Then of course is the millions of photographic resources to look at to figure out common tie points. I got into suspention bondage a couple of years ago and I have never had a bad incident with it yet I have never attended any kind of course on it myself. I did however spend months researching before I did anything at all. Now this is a part of my life that I really love and all week long I think of all those nasty things I can do when it comes to suspention. I would hate to think someone would try something new just from reading a single article or not talking to someone experienced... that of course is a reciepie for disaster but patience and time as well as finding as many resources as possible seems suficiant.

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RE: "I read it on the internet..." - 4/25/2008 9:51:16 AM

Guilty1974

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy When it comes to suspention bondage that of course is something a little different but then it still is not rocket science... there is plenty of web sites that explain bondage and show how to tie knots and plenty of slings and stuff that someone can start out with... safety is usually a big thing that is talked about on most web sites so you actually get inundated with it a little but still most everything comes down to just plain common sense.

Actually, i would know of not a single one free website that deals thoroughly enough with rope suspensions to give you a reasonably safe start. If you do, I'd be more than curious.

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RE: "I read it on the internet..." - 4/25/2008 10:06:06 AM

FRSguy

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Would have to agree with you on that compleatly... like I said you have to go to several sources... some of them that I used to learn are no longer around and of course I contacted people.

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RE: "I read it on the internet..." - 4/25/2008 10:21:14 AM

SteelofUtah

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Oddly enough some of the things that I have done (NON KINK) Like how to Fillet a Fish I learned how to do on the net and the funny thing is the guy who watched me Fillet my 3rd (EVER) Fish said I did it better than he did and he had been fishing for over 30 years.

Sometimes a very Technical thing can be easier to absorb when it is being explained in words.

I know that I learn better DOING then Listening and trying to emulate a situation.

I have taught myself the following from the net.

How to Butcher a Deer while in the field
How to Fillet a Bass/Trout
How to Take apart my MP3 Player and Modify it
How to Make a Pinata
How to Make Rack of Lamb
How to Build a St Andrews Cross for under 50 bucks (Yes it was fun, no it wasn't worth doing again)
How to deal with a 104 temperature in a child under 6 months old

In all situations I went from knowing nothing to doing a Professional Job my first chance.

However I stick to my original belief that I don't want to be the FIRST person someone learns on. I do almost everything to myself first before I try it on another person. and if I HURT from doing it I keep trying till I do it in a way that hurts less then I try on someone else.

Steel

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RE: "I read it on the internet..." - 4/25/2008 10:55:18 AM

LadyPact

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Still, My Dear Steel, if you attempt to fillet a fish, and you do it incorrectly, you can just toss it out.

If you roast a rack of lamb, and you burn it, you can chose to eat it or dump it in the trash.

Such is the way of many of the examples you gave. Not all of these can apply when involving another person.

Don't get Me wrong. I'm not waving the big, bad, scary card, so that no one will ever attempt to learn more. What I'm saying is, for some of us who might be better with a more hands on, rather than reading approach, we might feel a little more secure learning in a controled enviorment, rather than just words on a screen.

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RE: "I read it on the internet..." - 4/25/2008 12:44:14 PM

SteelofUtah

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Pact,

We are in agreement however I had to learn to do it somewhere didn't I?

My point is today I am able to do some interesting things and I can do them very well and I didn't have a class or an Instrustor teach me. You read my last post about how I would be upset if someone were sitting there with a Book and said "Why is it bleeding, it didn't say it was supposed to bleed"

I had to Tie up a Girl the first time and I learned MANY things from doing it. I Learned and got better, however I was confident in my FIRST attempt to consider myself confident.

I mean some people just want to put a scarlet letter on someone because they aren't a journeyman practioner.

As far as I am concerned I assume everyone doesn't know how to do anything that way I go into it with a healthy reality.

If all people took the time to TEST out someones ability there would be less accidents in the middle of scenes.

Steel

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