RE: Official Training Standards

RE: Official Training Standards (Full Version)

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KnightofMists -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 5:59:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kalista07 quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists I am a Fucking Trainer!!!! Dang!!! Is it just me or did it suddenly grow very very very hot in here!! Honey!!! you haven't seen HOT until I get you into my training program!!!!!!

hopelessfool -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 6:03:01 PM)
Even if I may never put my mahjong skills to use ever in my entire life, I will still be happy that I learned to play I learned to play it well. I know everything I learn will not be pleasing to my long term owner. But the point is. I like to learn, I feel content and happy to learn that this is how this person does something and they are beyond happy with their experience. I get this little kind of hug from learning something new. Like Im not a waste of oxygen that Im continuing to grow even if its only something small. Thats me. I know half of the knowledge I have stored in my brain ( Most of high school) will have no use other then to say I learned that.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 6:30:14 PM)
Where in the fuck did you get that anyone anywhere in this thread is against learning?

Leatherist -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 6:32:04 PM)
And what did you learn that will be an obstacle? Knowing that is half the battle.

Daddysredhead -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 6:33:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: Kalista07 quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists I am a Fucking Trainer!!!! Dang!!! Is it just me or did it suddenly grow very very very hot in here!! Honey!!! you haven't seen HOT until I get you into my training program!!!!!! fire play? winks [:)]

dawntreader -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 6:49:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst I am an artist. I have painted over an old canvas and created something new. And though I think the idea of training for too many is really just a justification for play; I find the idea that everyone needs to be untouched to have value, is offensive. There are many of us who have done things before and with more than one partner. Kyst Kyst, add me to that list as well...perhaps i did not express myself in the manner i wished to. i did not mean a BDSM virgin but i did mean someone trained in "the one true way" . Sorry for the confusion [:)]

hopelessfool -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 6:52:20 PM)
I get the vibe that while its not against that Im learning but who and where I learn it from. There has been repeated echos learning from someone wishing to give me an experience I want to learn about. Will in time come to be a problem for my long term dom because I've come to experience it with this person.

Leatherist -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 7:00:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hopelessfool I get the vibe that while its not against that Im learning but who and where I learn it from. There has been repeated echos learning from someone wishing to give me an experience I want to learn about. Will in time come to be a problem for my long term dom because I've come to experience it with this person. Please understand that we are objecting to seeking experiences merely to experience them. The concern is that you may be taken advantage of by someone unscrupulous-and that that experience may have a negative impact on your future relationships. It's not learning that is objectionable. It's being so intent on "doing" in the moment, that one loses sight of a long term objective with value. And why the experienced warn of losing oneself in "sub frenzy". This may be of some use in your knowledge base. http://www.steel-door.com/Frenzies.html

hopelessfool -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 7:15:04 PM)
And as its been said repeatedly on other threads you sometimes have to let someone experience something weither it be good bad or inbetween. I learned a lot of my lessions in life by messing up pretty badly. And If someone was telling me every time I took a step that I need to be aware of this or I wouldnt have expereinced life. Sure theres the need to try things you havnt tried and yeah sure It can be cause a problem. But this is a lifestyle that adults participate and the pretense is that everyone doing something is an adult capable of making decisions on their very own. If they make a bad choice they make a bad choice. Sure there are men that pray on newbies in the life. I dont think Im all that new and I still have men come up to me trying to teach me how to do this or that or how I wont be submissive if I dont. I know these people are so full of bs that their eyes are turning brown I believe that every person who feels weak or has a shortcomming will manipulate everyone they can to hide that self doubt or weakeness. I might be young but even so I know how to spot if theres flags of an ulter motive is going on here. If they are being used or manipulated its because they themselves have put themselves in a situation where they allowed it. A red flag goes off in my head if a man says Im sorry but you need to experience this to really be a submissive. Another if when asking for this experience, they demand that I do this this this or this first. Sadly alot of people who dont like what they learn to often will say, he used me, he used training as a way to do this or that to me. Just to make them feel better that even though they knew feelings would be unreturned, that when they were offered and turned down that they got hurt or didnt get their way.

Leatherist -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 7:17:13 PM)
I've offered you a trove of information by an author I respect. I'm not going to try to spoon feed you. Do as you see fit.

hopelessfool -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 7:32:40 PM)
Im sorry but even reading the article Twice I see how yes subs in "frenzy" are more easily manipulated. But I go to the mall and the Marine recruiter sells me the moon and stars, Some place I can be accepted money, ability to go to college, to buy the world and I sign up on a whim. And the high of being accepted and getting everything I want fades and I look and I see what I did and I think Oh CRAP. Im still responsible for my actions. If I drink and I get in a car and I drive and I get pulled over. Am I not still responsible? I was impared from drinking but I still made the choice to drink and to drive. I do believe the frenzy exists and I have expereinced to a point. I understand the need and want and such. But still I if make a choice wither it be irrational or impulsive or stupid. I am the one thats responsible for making that choice. If your not accountable for your actions no matter how their made, who is?

Leatherist -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 7:34:55 PM)
That's exactly it. Your choice. No one here is telling you what to do, only offering thier own experiences and opinions. Again, do as you see fit. And be prepared to deal with the consequences of those choices-the same as everyone else is.

KnightofMists -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 8:06:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hopelessfool I know half of the knowledge I have stored in my brain ( Most of high school) will have no use other then to say I learned that. and Here is a good crump of food to ponder for people that your comments elude us towards I believe most of us can appreciate that what skills I train a submissive to acquire may not be appreciated by another or vice vrs. However, one thing that is rather important... is one's ability to learn and acquire knowledge and skills. The skills/talents that a submissive may learn from another may not be regarded as useful by the future Dominant... but they may demonstrated the necessary ability/capacity for a person to learn! However, If the submissive's mindset is closed, meaning... what they have learned is "the one way"... they inhibit their ablity to learn. It has been my experience that many that enter this lifestyle grab on to the first "one way" that comes along... it is only with a significant emotional experience that one can remove their grip on this "one way" a way that might actually be wrong for them... hence why they end up having the significant emotional experience in the first place. Alot of people seem to be big on "Training" in this lifestyle. For myself... I am more focused on Building Character... for my slaves and myself. One character strength that I have found to be of great value is an Open-mind and it goes very well with a passion for learning.

Leatherist -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 8:12:16 PM)
Well said KOM. And I think that applies to Dominants too. Inflexibility and a close minded outlook can really trip you up. Especially when it blinds you to opportunities you might otherwise see and seize upon. One of the things I always tell a girl is this. I like to do things a certain way becuase they have worked for me in the past. That way may not work as well with US. If you can show me a BETTER way, I will make it MY WAY in a heartbeat-because we are all pulling this load together-and no one rides for free.

KnightofMists -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 8:13:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hopelessfool If your not accountable for your actions no matter how their made, who is? I do agree that we are accountable for our own actions... as such am I not accountable for my actions "to speak" or "not to speak" when I see a blind person walking out into traffic. The blind person is obviously accountable for his choice to walk out into the streets. However, it might be that he doesn't realize the consequences of his choice. He might not have all the information that might be required for him to make the choice he desires. I don't know... but because I can see... I know the consequences of his actions even if it appears to me that he doesn't. So.. I stop him! Give the information. He might say thanks and turn away. He might even continue to walk out into the streets to end is own life. Either way... I am accountable for my actions... and will beable to look myself in the mirror with contentment!

MontrealPhoenix -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 8:13:41 PM)
You're the new leader of the BDSM community? I don't envy you, Michael, your stress levels must be sky-high..snort, snicker Phoenix

KnightofMists -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 8:20:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist Well said KOM. And I think that applies to Dominants too. Thank you... and I very much agree... it applies to people!

BitaTruble -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/18/2008 9:33:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hopelessfool Even if I may never put my mahjong skills to use ever in my entire life, I will still be happy that I learned to play I learned to play it well. I know everything I learn will not be pleasing to my long term owner. But the point is. I like to learn, I feel content and happy to learn that this is how this person does something and they are beyond happy with their experience. I get this little kind of hug from learning something new. Like Im not a waste of oxygen that Im continuing to grow even if its only something small. Thats me. I know half of the knowledge I have stored in my brain ( Most of high school) will have no use other then to say I learned that. I can understand this and applaud your love of learning. I do approach things differently. I, also, love to learn new things but I do view life as pretty damn short and I have to pick and choose what I'm going to spend my time on. I can spend two years learning how to play the piano but if I am never going to use that skill, to me, that's a waste of my time. I could have spent those two years learning how to do oh, say basket weaving. If I then proceed to make several baskets throughout my life, that time has not be wasted. It's just a different way of viewing things. Your way works for you, so kudos. My way works for me, so kudos to me, too. [:)] Celeste

CreativeDominant -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/19/2008 7:37:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: hopelessfool But its a hell of a lot easier to teach someone if they have the basic concepts then it is to start from scratch. UM NO!!!!!!!!! considering the "Basic Concepts" are not so basic.... in fact in this lifestyle they are very different basic concepts from person to person. So.... It is much easier... if a person doesn't have the basic concepts of someone else ideals... since I have found... fixing their screwups is alot of work. Exactly Knight. And hopeless fool...no matter what anyone says about not comparing present partners to past ones...for most of us, it is done on some level even if it is a good level. Almost anyone I have dealt with either as a casual submissive or as one of my long-term submissives has had it all over my ex-wife in terms of behavior and in terms of sexual want and need and desire. That's a good thing...but the comparison is made, even if only in my own head, because I do not want to go back to where I was. Would I have told them that they did not compare to my ex if they had been worse? No, but I damn sure would have either trained them to be MY way or they would have been gone. So, is it possible that a submissive will come from a trainer to a dominant with no idea and no intention of ever comparing her new dominant to her trainer verbally? Sure it is...but to say that it won't be done mentally on some level at least is asking a hell of a lot of most humans. And while most submissives do not have to put up with having their new/present dominant comparing them...the submissive...to the "PROFESSIONAL, trainer submissives", those dominants who have taken on, or are considering taking on, a submissive who has been to a trainer knows that he is dealing with someone whose "trainer" is fixed in their mind at some level...slight or grand...as the one with "more expertise, more technique, more skill, more toys, more knowledge" than most dominants have, simply because they are "trainers". I mentioned an incident in an earlier post. Several years ago, I was considering a submissive from Co. Springs. I had flogged her and paddled her. She was happy. I brought out my Serpent's Bite toy. I brought it down for 3 strokes...3...and she stopped me. I asked her why she had used her safeword as the strokes had not been that intense yet. She went on to give me a detailed explanation of how her "Mentor/Trainer" had tried canes on her in one session and had told her how she did not seem to respond well to them and, given his "level" of experience, she trusted that she was just not going to ever have a good experience with them.

Leatherist -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/19/2008 7:40:51 AM)
What really gets to me is the "Masdter did this, and master did that" former slaves. Get the fuck over yourselves. You aren't with him anymore-he doesn't matter.

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