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hopelessfool -> RE: Official Training Standards (4/19/2008 10:24:37 AM)
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I can understand where your comming from fully CD, but not everyone takes that mentality away from every situation. The only two I compare my partner too is my Father and my actual Blood brother. My Dad taught me everything to want in a man Honesty, Respect, Kindness, Patience, Humor. My brother taught me everything I dont want in a man. Disrespect, abusive, theif, drug use, irresponsbility.
Do my past partners have some of each of these traits? Yes.
Do I go well I yada yada yada My Ex... yada yada yada? No I do my best not to.
If sharing a past experience on something I fear or had a bad experience with I talk with my partner about it I say something along the lines of.
I wanted to talk to you about something. In the past I had partner who wanted to try xyz. He showed it to me on another girl as to ease the fears I already had over xyz. Hed been doign xyz for 10 or so years. A couple of days later the girl called after she got out of the e.r. that the xyz session, he had mishit, and cause this and this to go wrong, but she would be just fine in a few days. ...If you would want to try xyz with me its going to take some time for me to get over my fears of trying it. I will work my best on getting over these fears, but its going to take some time for me to say ... D type... tonight I want you to do xyz to me.
I learned when I was about 6 or 7 (first grade) that I can do it my way I can do it your way I can do it her way I can do it his way. Each way has their advantages and each way has their disadvantages. I have the choice to choose what way I want and have to deal with both the advantages and disadvantages (this was in learning how to read)
I also learned that people can be wrong, and to be human they will be at times. (my teacher told me that potion was prenounce position)
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