cjan
Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
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cyanna, I hope you can and will accept what I have to say in the spirit in which I offer it for your consideration.
First, my condolences for your loss.
I do, however, respectfully disagree with some sentiments that have been posted in this thread. Things don't always work out "for the "best", at least, not in the sense that many think of what's best. That is not to say that there isn't something to learn from tragedy and loss. There is, imo. Nothing is permanent. We lose
what we love, what we are attached to, and, in the end, we loose, and have to learn to let go of everything. That's just how it is.
Yes, it hurts, sometimes it may seem unbearable. but, it must be endured and, hopefully, transcended.
I know that children must be protected and made to feel safe. However, depending on their age and capacity to understand, condsider whether insulating them from life's realities will benefit them in the long run. Children seem to be amazingly resilient.
Perhaps exploring and finding a spiritual (I don't mean religious) practice that suits you would be of value to you. This too, is a difficult path. But, the rewards can be well worth the effort and, along the way, you may find acceptance and peace. What do you have to lose ?
There is a story told about how one day, a woman came to the Buddha. The woman's only child had just died. She was, of course, devastated and carried the child's corpse around with her, not allowing burial or even anyone to touch her. The woman asked the Buddha to restore the child to life and heal her anguish. The Buddha replied that he would grant the woman's request on one condition. He told her to go into the town and to bring him back a mustard seed from a household that had never been touched by death.
You can, of course , figure what happened. But, the experience of going door to door and seeing the anguish at every home that had come as the result of the death of a loved one was, in the end, a healing experience for the woman. She came to understand and appreciate the universality of her experience, and it's inevitability. She was also drawn out of her own grief by feeling empathy and compassion for others who had shared her experience and anguish.
Even the Buddha did not escape death. Of course, he had no wish to. We all face this reality. Some of us have opportunity and time to face it and come to grips with it. When we do, if we do, peace is available to us, as, ironically, it always is.
My Best Warm Wishes to you and yours, chyanna.
_____________________________
"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L
" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti
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RE: why does life when you are happy smack you in the f... - 
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