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Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 5:17:46 AM

Ostentatious

Posts: 98
Joined: 7/2/2007
Status: offline

...profile review thread.

After 10 months of not searching I've decided to begin to seek someone new.

Any profile tips appreciated...I won't be offended, let it rip if needs be!

Thanks

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Post #: 1

RE: Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 5:23:10 AM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

(sigh)

Why not look up every other thread on this topic? That type of learning is good and shows that you are proactive -- always a good quality.

Ax the second paragraph of your narrative.

MSS

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Post #: 2

RE: Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 5:24:32 AM

Ostentatious

Posts: 98
Joined: 7/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive

(sigh)

Why not look up every other thread on this topic? That type of learning is good and shows that you are proactive -- always a good quality.

Ax the second paragraph of your narrative.

MSS

I did that MSS, I picked up generic tips but now seek ones that are specific to my profile.

Thanks for your input though.

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

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Post #: 3

RE: Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 5:43:32 AM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

I believe I've looked at your photo spread before--very nice work as a model, although I might throw in one extra shot of yourself in whatever "plain clothes" or street clothes you commonly wear. Keep in mind most people won't be meeting you for the first time half-naked.

I would delete the first three journal entries--as you put it yourself, "What ever happened to being nice?" These entries are all negative in various ways about others, and in a profile it is much more important to be positive, as you are in the last entry, about yourself and others. It's very off-putting to make negative generalizations about a large group of people, especially if you want someone from that group to contact you. I.e., you win no friends with comments like "dommes full of shit". I would also dump the bit about the webcam bandits or men cruising your profile, as well--homophobia is not an attractive trait to some of us. We understand that you are heterosexual male based on what you are looking for in your profile. If someone you find unattractive is looking at your profile, it's probably because they appreciate your photos, which are nicely shot and composed as figure studies of your body. You don't even have to be gay or bi to appreciate that sort of thing.

In the main description--I might edit the first three paragraphs a bit and put in a little something more about who/what you are hoping specifically to find, or perhaps give more indication of what your interests and such outside the bedroom. But overall it's a good length and seems coherent and articulate.

That's about it. I can't see you having a lot of difficulty finding someone. Good luck.

< Message edited by ShaktiSama -- 4/21/2008 5:45:07 AM >

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Post #: 4

RE: Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 5:47:29 AM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

Okayyyyyy ... specific to your profile, though without looking at it again.

Say who you are as a person. I noted that that a whole relationship was important to you, but you didn't really say who you are. What are you offering? What's your cache? Help us out. Draw us in.

Who are you looking for?

Talk about motivates you as a submissive/bottom/slave. Is it obedience? Pain? Suffering? Humiliation? To be forced? Personally, I like to see someone talk about motivation rather than discussion of specific acts.

Do you know what type of relationship you want to be in? Meet and beat? Casual but with a sense of committed? D/s + vanilla? Poly?

Be clear, but don't be demanding.

MSS

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--Miss Moneypenny

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Post #: 5

RE: Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 5:49:28 AM

Ostentatious

Posts: 98
Joined: 7/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

I believe I've looked at your photo spread before--very nice work as a model, although I might throw in one extra shot of yourself in whatever "plain clothes" or street clothes you commonly wear. Keep in mind most people won't be meeting you for the first time half-naked.

I would delete the first three journal entries--as you put it yourself, "What ever happened to being nice?" These entries are all negative in various ways about others, and in a profile it is much more important to be positive, as you are in the last entry, about yourself and others. It's very off-putting to make negative generalizations about a large group of people, especially if you want someone from that group to contact you. I.e., you win no friends with comments like "dommes full of shit". I would also dump the bit about the webcam bandits or men cruising your profile, as well--homophobia is not an attractive trait to some of us. We understand that you are heterosexual male based on what you are looking for in your profile. If someone you find unattractive is looking at your profile, it's probably because they appreciate your photos, which are nicely shot and composed as figure studies of your body. You don't even have to be gay or bi to appreciate that sort of thing.

In the main description--I might edit the first three paragraphs a bit and put in a little something more about who/what you are hoping specifically to find, or perhaps give more indication of what your interests and such outside the bedroom. But overall it's a good length and seems coherent and articulate.

That's about it. I can't see you having a lot of difficulty finding someone. Good luck.

Thanks ShaktiSama, I'm going to take that all on board and I really dig the positivity aspect!

We've spoken before...Glad you still like the photos!

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

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Post #: 6

RE: Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 5:52:49 AM

Ostentatious

Posts: 98
Joined: 7/2/2007
Status: offline

Just to add, I'm not homophobic, it's just my profile is male seeking a female and I get men looking at me a heck of a lot, at the time I had a full 'viewed me' page of men...The dommes comment also, we have a lot in England who are, how do I say this politely, not exactly genuine!

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Post #: 7

RE: Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 5:58:09 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

hi

just perved your profile and honestly, your thought process is all over the place that i felt confused. i didn't like the sarcasm you used "if i meet someone whose (actually it's who is or who's) actually worth the effort" .

you should state in the first line that you're not looking for random play or roleplaying and drop "Please don't ask because I don't like offending people. I'm serious about what I do and I do it will" - it comes off as arrogant. you're not offending anyone if you're not into random play ...it means you're not compatible with someone who is. might i suggest you use "seeking real time relationship" or "seeking 24/7 relationship with a Mistress/Domme in my area".

Being a sub is just one aspect of my life - well how about telling us the other aspects of your life. what are your other non-kink interests and hobbies? what makes you special that any dominant woman should take notice?

the conclusion of your profile - no, most of us don't know what you mean however you should fill out the interest section of your profile or delete that part all together. remember, we're not mind readers about what your kink likes/dislikes are.

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Post #: 8

RE: Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 6:14:12 AM

Sylverdawn

Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Clearly your an attractive young man..but beauty is only skin deep.... your profile comes off as flip and a little bit snide. Your journal entries are negative for the most part which reflects poorly on you... How about.. Nice begets Nice.. I would talk about want you have to offer a potential partner.. big heart, willing soul, love of life and all its experiences.. refocus the way you view life and life will offer you a completely different perspective.

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Post #: 9

RE: Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 6:26:06 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Seems like write my profile is an everyday thread. Ok let me jump in here. I need help with my profile. Im getting to many replies. I don't have time to answer them all. What can I do about it.

(in reply to Sylverdawn)

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Post #: 10

RE: Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 6:46:47 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Suck it up, Ray, when you're hot your're hot!

OP, your profile seems a bit....cranky. We all know the search is difficult, don't harp on it. Focus on what you are like as a person, and what you are looking for in a dominant, and from a relationship with that dominant.

Your pics speak for themselves!

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Post #: 11

RE: Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 7:41:21 AM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Seems like write my profile is an everyday thread. Ok let me jump in here. I need help with my profile. Im getting to many replies. I don't have time to answer them all. What can I do about it.

perhaps you need a trainer?

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Post #: 12

RE: Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 8:45:34 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
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A trainer??? More like a secretary. Ladies if your going to send me pics don't sign them over the breast.

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Post #: 13

RE: Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 9:37:07 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Ok, odd man out here... I think your profile is fine with the only exception being that you're in the wrong country... lol

Jewel

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Post #: 14

RE: Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 10:18:31 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

Ostentatious,

I'm sorry for my quick reply, but my schedule this morning dictates this. About your profile, seriously, drop *all* the negativity. This isn't attractive. Also, I'd pull the stuff about your kinks and BDSM experience, and instead describe yourself as a well-rounded human being. Talk about your interests and hobbies. Describe what type of relationship you're looking for. Show your intelligence, creativity, manners, compasion, and sense of humour (all of which, from reading our posts, I know you have). Honestly, my vote is for a complete re-write. You just got off on a bad literary start, but I know you have the capacity to change this. Your pictures, of course, are very sexy, however, I agree with others that a few non-BDSM, non-modeling shots are vitally important.

The way you asked for advice shows your graciousness. Thanks for asking with clarity and courtesy,

Elan.

< Message edited by ElanSubdued -- 4/21/2008 10:19:57 AM >

(in reply to Ostentatious)

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Post #: 15

RE: Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 11:55:19 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

Ostentatious,

--- Show your intelligence, creativity, manners,
--- compasion, and sense of humour (all of which,
--- from reading our posts, I know you have).

Truly. This bloody bulletin board software is out to get me this morning. I meant to type:

"Show your intelligence, creativity, manners, compasion, and sense of humour (all of which, from reading *your* posts, I know you have).

Sorry about that. :-)

Elan.

(in reply to Ostentatious)

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Post #: 16

RE: Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 12:49:18 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

I'd remove the two journal entries from 3/9/08 and heavily edit the profile text as all are heavily negative.

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Post #: 17

RE: Yet another.... - 4/21/2008 6:47:30 PM

khem

Posts: 300
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

If you lived locally to met and I stumbled upon your profile and thought "Oh wow, someone with excellent photos that is local!" I still probably would not contact you because of some of the things in the profile. Some of the language is, to me, very cocky. When I read the profile, I do not get an impression of "wow, what a fabulous addition to my life" I get "wow, he'd probably be a handfull." I'm not saying you are either of those things, it's just a word choice issue. The other posters nailed it with the negativity. In particular:

"If I meet someone whose actually worth the effort (in the bdsm world? yeah frigging right I hear you cry!) then I'd be happy with that too!"

That pretty much disrespects half the people I know and presents yourself as being a snob with impossible standards.

A bit harsh from me, but you did ask. I have negativity in my profile too, so I understand the need to vent about the nonsense that happens, just be careful it's not expressed as a judgement on *everyone*.

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Post #: 18

RE: Yet another.... - 4/22/2008 1:11:03 AM

Ostentatious

Posts: 98
Joined: 7/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: khem
"If I meet someone whose actually worth the effort (in the bdsm world? yeah frigging right I hear you cry!) then I'd be happy with that too!"

That pretty much disrespects half the people I know and presents yourself as being a snob with impossible standards.

A bit harsh from me, but you did ask. I have negativity in my profile too, so I understand the need to vent about the nonsense that happens, just be careful it's not expressed as a judgement on *everyone*.

Someone whose active on the British bdsm scene would understand that, which is why I haven't changed it. There are a lot of people who aren't worth the effort out there (as in normal nilla life too) and if it offends them then maybe it's them that needs to look at themselves.

Also, I am cocky, I am confident, it's part of my nature, I do get email on here and thankfully they email me for who I am and not who I am not.

Thanks for the advice.

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Post #: 19

RE: Yet another.... - 4/22/2008 2:37:31 AM

Andjew

Posts: 39
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ostentatious

Just to add, I'm not homophobic, it's just my profile is male seeking a female and I get men looking at me a heck of a lot, at the time I had a full 'viewed me' page of men...The dommes comment also, we have a lot in England who are, how do I say this politely, not exactly genuine!

I tend to attract gay men more than women as well. Take it as a compliment.

(in reply to Ostentatious)

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Post #: 20