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Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 3:56:51 PM

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Greetings Masters,

Many times throughout this girl's life, she has heard the phrase "good enough", sometimes in response to something she has done or in response to something someone experienced. Since a very early age, "good enough" left a sour taste in her mouth. Now as an adult and on her path learning and growing as a slave, she again has been told, on occasion, what she has done is "good enough". Perhaps its just the words themselves, but "good enough" simply is not good enough. To her, when she hears "good enough", what she actually hears is, "you tried girl, but you didn't succeed". While she realizes she is not perfect and she will never be perfect as she is merely human, she does strive to be pleasing and accomplish all tasks put before her, in all aspects of her life. While simply trying her best, she may not always succeed, but she has not failed as she at least tried, but is that "good enough"?

If a master commands a slave and expects a specific result, which he also makes aware to her, she does her best, yet doesn't end up with the expected result, is that "good enough"? and if so, why is it "good enough"? If the master sets the standard, as his wishes and pleasure are all that truly matter at the end of the day, and the slave, in doing her best and giving it her all, is only "good enough", should the slave retire for the night comforted in the fact that her service to him was not what he commanded, but was merely "good enough"? When is "good enough" good enough and why should it ever be an acceptable result by either the master or the slave?

As girl said before, this is something that has perplexed her and unsettled her, throughout her life and throughout the many aspects of her life. she humbly begs for any guidance those wiser than her care to share, as she wishes to be enlightened and thereby continue her growth.

be well,
kat

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i do not kneel before men because i am weak, rather i kneel before men as i am strong enough to do so.

RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 4:10:20 PM

Wantstocontrolu

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Good enough is acceptance that you tryed your best but it was not 100% the desired result. but due to effort made it was acceptable

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(in reply to xsassykatx)

RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 4:12:48 PM

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From: Apple County NY
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Perfectionists can't move on. They get fixated on doing things perfectly and stay for hours on the same task.

Let's say you mow the lawn. Do you then look out the window and realize you left a bit at the end uncut. Do you call the friend you were going to meet for dinner and cancel because you have to go back and fix it or do you realize the grass will be there next week also?

Baking a cake for a birthday. What happens if it is higher at one side than the other. Do you throw it out because it isn't perfect and start all over knowing it won't be done on time?

Some things aren't worth overinvesting in.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to xsassykatx)

RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 4:14:25 PM

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It very much depends how the expectations are set up.

With My girl, from day one I set out My expectations clearly for whatever was asked of her... and it is a HIGH expectation.

So long as she gives 100% effort and I can tell she tried her very best, no holding back... then there is no fail. she may not achieve the set objective but I do not expect miricals and she can't give more than she is actualy capable of. So if she gives her all and still doesn't achieve the result, 100% is always 'good enough' to please Me and make Me proud of her.

Anything less than 100%, if she slacks off... then that is something I address and promptly!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to xsassykatx)

RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 4:27:10 PM

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If you don't like where you are, move on. Good enough?

(in reply to xsassykatx)

RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 4:36:13 PM

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From: Austin Texas
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I feel something like that towards the word 'fine'. "Do I look okay in this?""You look fine" which I always hear as I look adaquate. So I changed the way I define the word because that is not how he meant it. Ask him if the phrase 'good enough' means that you did not meet expectations. If you continue to supply your own definition without making sure he is using the same definition you will spin yourself into circles over absolutely nothing.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to xsassykatx)

RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 4:43:06 PM

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"It's not the destination, it's how you get there."

Humans are not perfect, and all subs and Doms are humans. If you were asked to do something, and you gave it your best effort but were unable to accomplish your goal, shouldn't you be rewarded for the effort alone. If the end effect isn't exactly what a Dom had in mind, but still makes the Dom happy, shouldn't the sub get credit for making their Dom happy. One thing all Doms have to be careful of is requesting a sub to do a task that they can't possibly accomplish to your expectations. It's called setting a sub up to fail. If a Dom realizes they set their sub up to fail, they may consider the effort to be "good enough" just because they realize they were unrealistic in their expectations.

What it boils down to is that perfection is rarely a requirement. And that both subs AND Doms can be "at fault" in "good enough" situations.

[For a sub] When is "good enough" good enough? When their Dom says it is. If your Dom is willing to except the results of your effort, than you should be too.

I don't want this to sound instulting, but I'm afraid this is likely to come out that way. As a master for a girl who as suffered from mental/emotional health issues all her life, I can say that if having someone tell you that what you did is "good enough" causes you to have a strong emotional reaction, and causes you to feel like you are a failure, it is probably something you should talk to a counceler or a theripist about.

_____________________________

Sincerely
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RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 4:51:18 PM

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~fast reply~

"Good enough" isn't "kinda bad really" - it means you did ok. Or maybe your M-type is the sort who doesn't offer up hearty praise for every little thing, or maybe he gets a charge out of withholding high praise, or maybe he simply isn't the type to get overly excited about how well you did your tasks, expecting you to try your best at all times. It's impossible to say. To me it doesn't seem like a big deal, but I'm not you. I probably make mountains out of things that would seem to you like the Great Plains.

As Camille stated, sit down and talk with him if it really bugs you, otherwise it's only going to get under your skin more and more. Or you could just be glad that he thinks your efforts are "good enough" and not "darned crappy." It could all be a matter of perspective.

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RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 5:10:48 PM

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Thank you very much for the insightful responses given so far. girl should have clarified, this is a philisophical question rather than specific to one person/relationship or another. It's a phrase that irks this one every time she hears it, even if not directed at her.

be well,
kat

(in reply to batshalom)

RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 5:15:06 PM

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Good enough...Ho fucking hum.

I wouldn't plan on keeping "good enough" around permanently...good enough is a filler or a time killer or waster.

Ya know ...the old ...Good enough to fuck but not to marry. Good enough to hang around with till the BBD comes along.

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RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 5:45:02 PM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xsassykatx

If the master sets the standard, as his wishes and pleasure are all that truly matter at the end of the day, and the slave, in doing her best and giving it her all, is only "good enough", should the slave retire for the night comforted in the fact that her service to him was not what he commanded, but was merely "good enough"?

You should be comforted in that he found your efforts acceptable, and pleasing. That doesn't mean you don't strive to do better.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to xsassykatx)

RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 5:51:15 PM

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Trying and getting stuff done can be just that- good enough. But that doesn't mean it's what I really wanted or was hoping for or know you are capable of. It took a long hard time for me to figure out- but sometimes all intentions and desires and attempts amount to is a whole lot of wasted time and energy.

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RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 5:59:30 PM

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From: St George Utah
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Good Enough means it isn't worth correcting the girl in my house.

when I say she did good enough it means that she technically filled my need however it could be improved without having to correct right there.

Perhaps you should PAY ATTENTION and try harder on these things next time.

Steel

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RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 6:49:28 PM

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My mother was a perfectionist and required tip-top performance from all of us, including herself and our dad. I learned to be happy when I was told I was 'basically a good kid.'

My friend was in the Navy, and she talks about 'good enough for gummint work,' meaning that it wasn't really excellent work, but it would pass a basic inspection.

I can understand the OP's feeling about 'good enough.' I would be upset if something I did got a 'good enough.' Another spoiler would be 'acceptable.' I aim for 'great' or 'good work.' A 'good enough' would spur me on to greater efforts next time.

pip, not a 'good enuffer'

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There is none so blind as he who will not see.

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RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 6:59:18 PM

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To the op.....

My views would tend to be about how well someone took honest criticism.

If it were offered, could you really take the detail oriented approach of "the white glove"?

< Message edited by Leatherist -- 4/23/2008 7:00:08 PM >

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RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 7:47:03 PM

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Joined: 5/10/2007
From: Vancouver
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Perfect is the enemy of good.

If you asked every sub here if they are always perfect in thier submission, I doubt any would say yes.

If you asked if they had achieved perfection even briefly, the vast majority would still say no and the few would say they are trying hard to do it again.

Perfection is not an goal that can be reached with certainty. Even the religions that preoccupy themselves with achieving perfection carefully record how each one did it because the path is not known.

The reason that all of the perfection oriented religions require their monks to perform labor everyday is to remind them that life is here and now. All you can be sure of achieving is good enough for today.

_____________________________

I only flog good girls. I don't reward bad behavior.

(in reply to xsassykatx)

RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 8:45:01 PM

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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xsassykatx
…when she hears "good enough", what she actually hears is, "you tried girl, but you didn't succeed".

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and good enough means it was good enough. If it’s not good enough, I’ll be sure and let you know the difference between good enough and failure.

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-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

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RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/23/2008 9:09:26 PM

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Good enough means to me that, you did what you were supposed to. You made dinner, sure the chicken was a little overcooked, but it was good enough to eat. You cleaned the room but I like my pillowcases facing the left. But since you didnt know that its good enough. Or its Your a really great sewer, and having you fix my suit is good enough for me. Its not bad, it just means sure you could do better. Im sure theres thousands of things I could do better in. But the things im great in he should enjoy. Im always in need for improvement, all humans are. I will never be perfect and I do doubt I will ever be good enough with my left hand as I am with my right. I will never be good enough to pee standing up. I will never be good enough to do every stingle thing at every single moment of every day. What is great one day, might be good enough the next. And whats good enough one time might be perfect another. Its just a thing you could do better in but its no big deal if you dont ever get better at it.

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" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

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RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/24/2008 5:28:36 AM

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From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xsassykatx

Greetings Masters,

Many times throughout this girl's life, she has heard the phrase "good enough", sometimes in response to something she has done or in response to something someone experienced. Since a very early age, "good enough" left a sour taste in her mouth. Now as an adult and on her path learning and growing as a slave, she again has been told, on occasion, what she has done is "good enough". Perhaps its just the words themselves, but "good enough" simply is not good enough. To her, when she hears "good enough", what she actually hears is, "you tried girl, but you didn't succeed". While she realizes she is not perfect and she will never be perfect as she is merely human, she does strive to be pleasing and accomplish all tasks put before her, in all aspects of her life. While simply trying her best, she may not always succeed, but she has not failed as she at least tried, but is that "good enough"?

If a master commands a slave and expects a specific result, which he also makes aware to her, she does her best, yet doesn't end up with the expected result, is that "good enough"? and if so, why is it "good enough"? If the master sets the standard, as his wishes and pleasure are all that truly matter at the end of the day, and the slave, in doing her best and giving it her all, is only "good enough", should the slave retire for the night comforted in the fact that her service to him was not what he commanded, but was merely "good enough"? When is "good enough" good enough and why should it ever be an acceptable result by either the master or the slave?

As girl said before, this is something that has perplexed her and unsettled her, throughout her life and throughout the many aspects of her life. she humbly begs for any guidance those wiser than her care to share, as she wishes to be enlightened and thereby continue her growth.

When I'm feeling a little more demanding than usual, I'll set the girl a task I know she probably can't perform. I'll especially do it if I feel she's been slacking a bit in recent endeavours. A personal entertainment favourite is to have her remove her own panties while her wrists and elbows are bound behind....

My personal motive isn't the actual task but how hard she tries to achieve it and I'll encourage or admonish her accordingly. Of course, at that particular time, she doesn't know the task itself is secondary to me. Once she's put in the expected effort, there'll come a point where I stop her and (my reason for posting here) I almost always say "good enough". To her, she didn't achieve what she was tasked with and, typical of the submissive mindset, will usually feel disappointed at my calling a "premature" halt. And I'll leave her in that headspace for a few extra minutes while I first discuss her recent slacking I mentioned earlier.

So first of all, you won't always know what your Master's motives are in setting a task. And, probably more relevant, when I say "good enough" to my girl, I'm usually nodding and have that twinkle in my eye that familiarity tells her is HIGH praise indeed.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to xsassykatx)

RE: Is "good enough" good enough? - 4/24/2008 6:08:04 AM

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Growing up with a Mother that has ocd, and i swear bi-polor nothing was ever good enough, well in my case anyway, my other two sisters always recieved the acknowledgements. Espaecially when it came to school functions, i was never "Good Enough" so even though she would tell me that i was the prettiest of all her children she wished that i was as smart as my other two sisters. So given that i grew up convinced that i would never be "Good Enough" in her eyes. It's something that i have tried very hard to overcome, especially since my Father passed away i thought my Mother would see me in a different light but some things never change. As of this year i finished my education, and graduated in January but that wasn't 'Good enough" either because it is not in the Medical field like my other two sisters she wouldn't even come to my graduation. And after 20 years of therapy i will never understand why she treats me this way. But with that said, my Daddy tell me that i am a good girl often, and He acknowledges all my efforts whether it be of the smallest of things. So, now that is all that matters to me. Finally i am 'Good Enough" for Him in so many ways. i will never be perfect, but as He molds, sculptures me i will be perfect in His eyes.... and that my friend is "Good Enough" for me.....

melly/srln-654-049-049

(in reply to camille65)

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