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Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 11:15:30 AM

realsumissive

Posts: 73
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline

Good afternoon to everyone. I am new, and this is my first post. I hope I do not sound like I'm being arrogant, but I've noticed something. I have read literally hundreds of profiles of dominant females on this site in the last few days, and I noticed one glaring similarity. Most say if there isn't a photo attached to a reply, they will delete it, and many say unread. I had a very, very bad experience because of a photo I sent to a woman on an alternative lifestyle site a few years ago. I was outed, and it cost me a job, and had other consequences.

Is it unrealistic of me to ask a domme to provide me with an email address, so I can IMMEDIATELY send her photos of myself? I think she has the right to want to see the man or woman she's giving her valuable time to. There are those of us that can't, (or won't) post a picture or send one on these sites. Do any of the dommes have any suggestions as to how this can be approached? I do understand that there are many more subs and fakes than there are dommes. Being a genuine submissive male who want to find a partner, it is much more difficult if I can't send a request to read my profile, if she states it won't be read, or replied to. Thank you in advance for any help you can provide.

Post #: 1

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 11:25:20 AM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: realsumissive

Most say if there isn't a photo attached to a reply, they will delete it, and many say unread.

Some of us say the photos are of no big importance.
I only ask photos from people I actually intend to meet in RL - for obvious reasons. And I never insist. Far from deleting messages without pics..... I would think it ridicolous.

My advice would be to forget about those that insist on pics for any reasons, if you had bad experience with sending photos simply dont send any anymore (at least until you find out if its safe more or less).
I should say that those that ask photos apriori are not compatible with what you want. Skip their profiles.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to realsumissive)

Post #: 2

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 11:35:42 AM

LadiesBladewing

Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline

We don't put out photos of ourselves, if site TOS allows for that (there are actually some sites that -require- that you put a picture of yourself out there) and we don't ask for one from those who make contact.

If we are preparing to meet, we ask for a -description-, so that we will know the people in the throng of individuals in the place we are going to (early meetings are almost always over coffee or lunch, and are -always- held in public). Usually, though, even if I -don't- know what xhe looks like, I can pick out the one waiting for us.

Generalizations tend to be like "one size fits all". They most often fit only a narrow band, and even when they -do- fit, they don't look great, except on a tiny handful.

Lady Zephyr

(in reply to realsumissive)

Post #: 3

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 11:37:13 AM

Phoenixandnika

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline

Good Afternoon,

If it is a case where there is a reason you are not comfortable posting a picture, most Dommes I know would not be apposed to you emailing them. I know that there are various lines of work where people can not post pictures of them in a forum such as this and not violate a company ethics policy. I also know that the military is funny about what pictures can be posted.

I would agree with Kasia, if it simply something you can not do underany circumstance then simply skip over the profile.

Nika{Phoenix}

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."

(in reply to Kasia)

Post #: 4

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 11:40:01 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Really? This has been your experience? Weird.

I don't care about a photo when someone first contacts me.

If we've talked long enough that I feel comfortable giving another address then a photo might be good. An application requires a photo but not a nude one (I'm interested in the person first, body second, body parts very little).

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to realsumissive)

Post #: 5

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 11:49:05 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

Yet another one replying to you who doesn't demand a photo straight off... I'm wary myself of sending pics straight away.
Pass by the profiles that don't mesh and good luck in your search.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to realsumissive)

Post #: 6

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 12:09:37 PM

ownedjulia

Posts: 218
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline

Why can't you post a photo on here?

I'd never give out my private email address. I'll get enough crap as it is.

If a photo on here is a problem then a PART photo - Blank out your face but at least give her an idea of what you look like and say in YOUR PROFILE that you can send other photos if need be.

My Master runs a couple of web sites and i have additional photos on there so guys he wants me to play with can get an idea of what i look like above an beyond my photo on here.

_____________________________

~julia
owned slave and proud of it!

(in reply to realsumissive)

Post #: 7

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 12:16:00 PM

MistressFire70

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I believe there is a way to send a photo as an attachment when you send an email here. Why not do that, if you don't want it posted for all to see?

Fire

_____________________________

you have come to a great chasm. Jump. It's not as wide as you think.

(in reply to realsumissive)

Post #: 8

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 3:54:10 PM

Stunning

Posts: 76
Joined: 7/16/2004
Status: offline

If someone requires a picture before they speak to you, that person is high-risk and usually very insecure. You don't need to deal with that person's emotional problems.

(in reply to MistressFire70)

Post #: 9

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 4:06:25 PM

Phoenixandnika

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stunning

If someone requires a picture before they speak to you, that person is high-risk and usually very insecure. You don't need to deal with that person's emotional problems.

I do not agree with this at all. Perhaps they simply like putting a face to whom they are speaking. Or perhaps they require it as a simple test, after all if a submissive or slave cannot follow such a simple request then how can they follow other tasks?

Nika{Phoenix}

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."

(in reply to Stunning)

Post #: 10

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 4:52:42 PM

DarkMaster666

Posts: 2
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline

Pictures of shallow, albeit artful design. No match whatever for a meeting of minds. Read the profile, open your heart, and let your intuition run free. Hark within, hear your soul. If you truly listen... You will see!

(in reply to Stunning)

Post #: 11

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 5:04:24 PM

DallasDiva

Posts: 36
Joined: 5/31/2004
From: Dallas
Status: offline

I like to see a photo to see who I am talking to. Here lately I have asked for the simple fact that I want to know if this person has contacted me before and is now using a different email. I do not demand photos but I ask for them right off. if you are impressing me in other ways it is not that big of a deal, really.

(in reply to DarkMaster666)

Post #: 12

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 5:10:29 PM

realsumissive

Posts: 73
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia

quote:

ORIGINAL: realsumissive

Most say if there isn't a photo attached to a reply, they will delete it, and many say unread.

Some of us say the photos are of no big importance.
I only ask photos from people I actually intend to meet in RL - for obvious reasons. And I never insist. Far from deleting messages without pics..... I would think it ridicolous.

My advice would be to forget about those that insist on pics for any reasons, if you had bad experience with sending photos simply dont send any anymore (at least until you find out if its safe more or less).
I should say that those that ask photos apriori are not compatible with what you want. Skip their profiles.

Kasia,
Thank you for the reply, but i am refering to those that say in their profile that they won't respond to anyone that doesn't have a photo attached.

(in reply to Kasia)

Post #: 13

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 5:14:44 PM

realsumissive

Posts: 73
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline

Madam, I don't think it's a generalization. Pick any 100 profiles of dommes on this site, and I believe that most will require a photo before they reply.

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)

Post #: 14

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 5:18:36 PM

realsumissive

Posts: 73
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline

You took the same time to throw your opinion in on this thread as you do on most others you reply to. Read the question. Your answer was "If we've talked enough" where I stated that we can't talk at all because of the photo issue. DUH!!!!!!!!!

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 15

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 5:22:44 PM

realsumissive

Posts: 73
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline

Thanks for the reply. In my case it was a situation where the photo was forwarded to a company along with the website it appeared on. I lost my job because I was branded as a pervet.

(in reply to ownedjulia)

Post #: 16

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 5:24:35 PM

realsumissive

Posts: 73
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline

Wouldn't it be just as easy to require a photo be sent to their email address?

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)

Post #: 17

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 5:27:01 PM

realsumissive

Posts: 73
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline

I think I stated this in the wrong way. Why do dommes require a photo before they will reply to a sub?

(in reply to realsumissive)

Post #: 18

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 5:41:20 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: realsumissive

I had a very, very bad experience because of a photo I sent to a woman on an alternative lifestyle site a few years ago. I was outed, and it cost me a job, and had other consequences.

Whilst it is unfortunate this happened to you, sending any photograph anywhere may have the same consequence. It is a risk you will have to be willing to take, even if the mail goes directly to an email address.

quote:

Is it unrealistic of me to ask a domme to provide me with an email address, so I can IMMEDIATELY send her photos of myself?

No, but it is unrealistic to expect a yes. It can be very daunting to be asked for ones email immediately - just as you find it difficult to send a photograph. For myself, whether a Dom or sub, I would say it sends up a warning flag - why does a person want my email address when we havent even met? Too be honest, you could just send the photograph to her via CM - its no different from an email addy. You then do not have to post it in your profile.

quote:

Being a genuine submissive male who want to find a partner, it is much more difficult if I can't send a request to read my profile, if she states it won't be read, or replied to. Thank you in advance for any help you can provide.

I have no reason to doubt that you are not genuine, hoever you may find that a Dominant may see your screen name and think twice. I am trying to make helpful suggestions, and I hope you take this as such.
When some people see the word 'real' - it sends up red flags. What is real or true is purely subjective and stating your realness within your name could send out the wrong message. Search the threads here on the forum, and you will begin to understand why I have mentioned this.
I understand it is 'just a name' - but to some people - such a statement means alot.

quote:

You took the same time to throw your opinion in on this thread as you do on most others you reply to. Read the question. Your answer was "If we've talked enough" where I stated that we can't talk at all because of the photo issue. DUH!!!!!!!!!

Talking in such a way to someone is hardly assisting your search. People do search the forums for people to see what they may write. tammy offered you a personal view and you have returned with insulting remarks. I am sure that maybe your frustration is catching up with you, but it doesnt help to come across as rude. Just offering a simple view. Other views will not be the same as mine...

End of the day, if they desire something you cannot provide, then move on and patience is a great wisdom to have and brings its own rewards - and so does politeness...

Peace and Love

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to realsumissive)

Post #: 19

RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 5:50:09 PM

Stunning

Posts: 76
Joined: 7/16/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stunning

If someone requires a picture before they speak to you...

I do not agree with this at all. Perhaps they simply like putting a face to whom they are speaking. Or perhaps they require it as a simple test, after all if a submissive or slave cannot follow such a simple request then how can they follow other tasks?

You won't even speak to a person whom you can't see? That's a bit overselective, in my opinion. Hell, I'll talk to anyone. I don't have to fuck everyone to whom I have typed text.

As for the "test", that's innaposite here and patently ridiculous. No one owes deferrence to whom they have not even spoken.

(in reply to Phoenixandnika)

Post #: 20

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