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RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 6:25:48 PM   
realsumissive


Posts: 73
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline 		In reference to your comment on why there is a difference. I will send a vanilla photo to anyone who requests one to an email address. I did, and will never again send one on a lifestyle site where the person can forward it, along with the site name to anyone. As far as the rest goes, you are entitled to your opinion, and I thank you for the advice.

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 6:39:30 PM   
realsumissive


Posts: 73
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline 		Sending a vanilla photo to an inoquious email address is different than sending one to a site where the two can easily be correlated.

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 6:41:54 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		I guess what this comes down to is 'decisions'. I would suggest that you try exactly what you are saying. Reply to the Domme with a note saying that you will forward a photo immediately to thenm if they will give you an e-mail address other than this site. The other option is to do a Vanilla photo of yourself in a non-discrept location while you're wearing a halloween mask or just blank out the face. Send that on the initial contact along with the note that you have other photos that may be fwded to that person's private e-mail address. If that doesn't work then just move on and look for a Domme who is a little more open and willing to return your contact.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to realsumissive)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 7:12:06 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		I had this same situation with a local male who claimed he was high profile in the community. An email address was provided and the photo was sent. I also discovered he was on the site as both a submissive and a Dominant. He admitted to having the Dominant profile just so he could hook up for kinky sex.
However, My question is, how did the Domina know where you worked and how to send it on the your place of employment? How much info were you sharing? I like to know what a boy does for a living, but I don't demand company or corporate info.
I am one who does request a G-rated photo. I did understand your concern about forwarding even a G-rated photo through an alternative lifestyle site. But, My photo is up there! And it has been My experience that the largest percentage of males do not have a photo posted, yet set their search criteria to "show only profiles with photos". Therefore, it is not a test so much as, you have seen Me, I think it only fair that I see you. If you choose not to do so, and their are many who avoid that request of Mine, you just have to keep moving along.
It is My preference to see a photo of someone who is applying to Me for a live-in position. I have to wonder at how dedicated a boy will be to Me, if he can't even trust Me enough to send Me a photograph at some point along the way. And I use My own judgement as to how long I might let that particular request go. I am sorry that you ran into someone who was mean spirited enough to immediately out you to your place of business. But how did she have the information in the first place?
BTW, I will no longer provide some sort of innocous email addy for the comfort level of a boy who is so scared he will be outed. My personal email address is still addressed to "goddessdustygold".

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to realsumissive)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 7:22:07 PM   
JustaTop


Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		I take it as shallowness generally-if they demand to see what you look like immediately. When I read that sort of thing in a profile-I simply don't bother to begin with. Especially if the picture they posted is far from appealing,themselves.

And they want Rock Hudson,only straight.

Double standards SO suck.

(in reply to realsumissive)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 7:26:35 PM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline 		I will speak to anyone, but speaking to them and considering them as a submissive is a totally different story. We all make stipulations, we all make choices. A submissive does not have to choose to email myself or any other Dominate, however; if you choose to you should at least be able to follow simply instructions if they are layed out. I do not email submissives seeking their attention. So yes, if they make that choice to come to my space, by email ect. they have no dilussion about what I expect. If someone emails and politely asks to be able to email a picture to a private email account I will accomidate the request. Its that simple.


By the way fucking and talking are a million miles apart that is like comparing apples and watermelons.

Nika{Phoenix}



< Message edited by Phoenixandnika -- 10/12/2005 7:28:04 PM >

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



(in reply to Stunning)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 7:39:57 PM   
FLButtSlut


Posts: 344
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JustaTop

I take it as shallowness generally-if they demand to see what you look like immediately. When I read that sort of thing in a profile-I simply don't bother to begin with. Especially if the picture they posted is far from appealing,themselves.

And they want Rock Hudson,only straight.

Double standards SO suck.


I agree. I don't post a photo of myself on here, as I do not care to take any risk career or (worse) ex-husband wise. If the first thing someone asks me in an email is for a photo, I tend to not respond positively as to me, it isn't a matter of "attaching a face to who they are speaking" it is more a matter of whether they find you attractive or not.

This of course is a double edged sword. I have been told by others that I am quite attractive. I seek someone that I find physically attractive as well, but my opinion of "physically attractive" can vary based on the person's MIND. Often, the email or profile "requesting (demanding)" a photo prior to anything else doesn't even include a picture. From my perspective, why should anyone know what I look like if they have not shown me? Personally, I want to get to know if we can have a conversation before knowing what they look like.

Either way can backfire on you. If you get a picture of someone you think is totally "hot", (and believe it is a real picture), you talk to them and find out they are a complete ass. On the other hand, you talk first and find you have many things in common prior to exchanging pics and then you find them to be someone that you could never be attracted to (as in 500 pounds, no teeth, appears never to bathe, chew your arm off ugly). Both times you are disappointed, but in the latter case, you can perhaps find a way to be just friends with the person. In the former, your whole opinion began on looks.

Of course the funniest ones are with the people who have pictures and have that "coyote ugly" appearance yet are "demanding" a totally "hot" partner.


Oh yea, and my absolute favorite are the ones that demand you have a webcam. I don't have one, don't intend to get one, and don't care if they do. I don't cyber at all, and to me, that is exactly why they want a web cam. Plus, frequently I might be in front of the computer in my pj's with my hair up, not looking my best. I "clean up" to meet someone r/t of course, but in front of the computer, I'm being comfortable and not necessarily looking to share that "look" with people I barely know.


< Message edited by FLButtSlut -- 10/12/2005 7:42:59 PM >

(in reply to JustaTop)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Curious about photos - 10/12/2005 9:41:29 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I agree. I don't post a photo of myself on here, as I do not care to take any risk career or (worse) ex-husband wise. If the first thing someone asks me in an email is for a photo, I tend to not respond positively as to me, it isn't a matter of "attaching a face to who they are speaking" it is more a matter of whether they find you attractive or not.


I feel the same way. Although most people tell me I am "attractive," I do not usually photograph well. The camera is NOT my friend.

I'm one of those, apparently, rare female dominants (yes, my profile says switch, but I'm more dom than anything else) who does NOT want to see what someone looks like until I've spoken to them online once or twice. And the first time a guy sends me a pic of his genitals, he's history.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to FLButtSlut)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Curious about photos - 10/13/2005 1:49:29 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
It is my belief that it is always wise that one feels that all are entitled to their own opinion, even if they do not agree with all views. As someone pointed out on another thread, tolerance is a wonderful thing.
quote:

ORIGINAL: realsumissive

Sending a vanilla photo to an inoquious email address is different than sending one to a site where the two can easily be correlated.



Well, considering alot of people use mail from places like hotmail or yahoo or aol as a first point of reference, none of which have any association to actually knowing who or what someone is - so it would not protect you in anyway whatsoever - CM is no different to these mail points. Although I do agree that the site may cause you a few problems in the area of which you speak, any other mail address could do the same if a person really wanted to do it.

Oh and its 'innocuous'...
Oh and no, from your private question that was sent, unfortunately I cannot aid you on how to 'top from the bottom' - as I have no interest in such activity, besides, I would think its pretty obvious you are already practising quite well.

Apologising to the Mods for my innocuous dig on the forum. However, I don't 'do' backstabbing or underhand and slanderous emailing...

Peace and Love

< Message edited by dark~angel -- 10/13/2005 1:50:05 AM >

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to realsumissive)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Curious about photos - 10/13/2005 2:24:47 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Is it unrealistic of me to ask a domme to provide me with an email address, so I can IMMEDIATELY send her photos of myself?
I don't think it is at all unrealistic to ask for an email address to which you can email a photo, as a photo is at least as personal an exchange as an email address.
My opinion is that if she cannot trust you with an email address where you can send a photo, you shouldn't trust her with your photo. If someone refuses to read your reply simply because there's no photo attached that second, is this someone you want to devote lots of time and effort on? I would simply note (id I were you) that a photo is immediately available once requested on my profile, and leave it at that.
Welcome to the boards, M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to realsumissive)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Curious about photos - 10/13/2005 4:23:04 AM   
realsumissive


Posts: 73
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline 		Madam,
Thank you for the generous response. The obvious answer to your question is that I gave her the information. We conversed online and on the phone for quite some time, and for reasons that it might not be appropriate to share here, I broke it off. That's when she emailed the HR department at my employer.

You stated that you give someone a fair amount of time, and you'll provide them with a private email address if requested. That's all I ask. I was speaking to a domme from this site (actually, two emails) when I explained to her that I would be happy to provide a photo if she'd give me an email address. Her response was quite clear. If you can't send it here, I don't want to talk to you again. This happened yesterday.

Again, thank you for your time, and you do sound like the type of woman that a sub would want to get to know. P.S. The correct spelling of innocous has been noted. Thank you.

< Message edited by realsumissive -- 10/13/2005 4:26:12 AM >

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Curious about photos - 10/13/2005 4:24:50 AM   
realsumissive


Posts: 73
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline 		M,
Thank you for your input. That sounds like a very good way to handle it.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Curious about photos - 10/13/2005 4:35:03 AM   
ShadeDiva


Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		Eh, I don't need a photo to chat with someone online.

I *really* don't care what their shell looks like. I'm just talking, not planning to have sex with anyone, so therefore their body means nothing to me.

However the PERSON matters to me. The person housed in that shell.

The rest is gravy.

_____________________________

~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld

(in reply to realsumissive)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Curious about photos - 10/13/2005 8:20:44 AM   
realsumissive


Posts: 73
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadeDiva

Eh, I don't need a photo to chat with someone online.

I *really* don't care what their shell looks like. I'm just talking, not planning to have sex with anyone, so therefore their body means nothing to me.

However the PERSON matters to me. The person housed in that shell.

The rest is gravy.

Thank you for the comment. I wish everyone was like minded.

(in reply to ShadeDiva)
Profile   Post #: 34
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