trying to understand the dominant mindset. (Full Version)

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abcbsex -> trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 9:27:33 AM)

A number of messages I've recieved on the other side from submissive men have been along the lines of "you'd be a great Domme" as well as "please consider dominating me". My reply to them has always been, "no thanks, the only living thing I feel comfortable being in charge of is my cat"

Now, my cat would be a great submissive were he a human. He's attentive, stays out of the way for the most part and knows how to communicate his wants and needs (and sometimes tops from the bottom but in true Domme fashion I can just ignore it). Just for the record, none of this is sexual or s&m related (and I'm not looking to become more dominant myself), but I'm wondering if Dom/mes view their subs as I view my cat. I love him and take care of him because he is my responsibility, he in turn gives me companionship, obedience (most of the time) and quite literal praise. Is this a similar relationship a dominant person would have with their sub? I know people take literal pets in this lifestyle but I'm wondering on a more general basis.

I am honestly really curious about this, because it's the only experience I have with being in charge. I'm just trying to relate it to something I know. Also, it might be a good model for my relationship with my Alpha, as long as I don't start shredding the couch, right? thanks for any input.

-C



SteelofUtah -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 9:40:48 AM)

Oddly enough your Cat is actually in charge.

I remember a Joke from Childhood.

A Dog thinks: They Clean me they feed me they pet me they pick up my Poop...... They MUST be GOD.

A Cat thinks: They Clean me they feed me they pet me they pick up my Poop....... I MUST be GOD.

Just some food for thought.

Steel



abcbsex -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 9:45:37 AM)

ha ha yeah sometimes it feels that way, but he acts more like a dog than a cat anyways (drinking from toilet, check. begging for belly rub, check. greeting us at the door and trying to hop into our arms, check) ... let's hope that superiority streak isn't too strong!



Dnomyar -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 9:45:47 AM)

Mmmmm I can change that cats point of view. Let him meet my dog.



variation30 -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 10:52:54 AM)

I'm imaging myself telling my parents I want a slave. they then frown and say "a slave is a big responsibility, maybe you should start with something smaller like a cat. if you can take care of a cat, then we'll think about getting you a slave."



abcbsex -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 11:10:25 AM)

ha ha! I got fish before I got my cat, maybe the next logical step is a dog and then I'll see if Alpha will think about a slave to keep around the house to help with chores! That would be lovely.



antipode -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 11:38:32 AM)

Umm no, that is not at all an apt comparison. Human beings you negotiate with, cats you don't. Pets are, to all intents and purposes, parasites, a skill they have honed over tens of thousands of years, humans are not. Well, I'll make an exception with regard to one of my ex-wives, perhaps [8D]. Cats have developed an uncanny ability to manipulate humans - you're living proof of this.

But no, subs are humans, with all that entails, they have language, they can handle can openers, and point out the page of the paper they want you to look at. Some have even developed the skill to handle remote controls. Again, with the exception of this one ex-wife....



Emperor1956 -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 11:41:17 AM)

FR:  Your cat is the dominant one.  ALL cats are dominant.   There are only two thoughts in the "cat language"   (1)   Everything here is MINE   (2)  When do we eat?

E.



abcbsex -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 11:46:33 AM)

that is a good point, pets being parasites while humans most definitely are not. I mean, we love our little parasites to death but our relationships don't grow and mature in the same way a human relationship can.



azropedntied -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 12:29:55 PM)

Men mail hot women on here begging them or asking them to Top them as that is what they want , Many of these males can not read nor do they care if your a top bottom switch of feline , the goal is all the same to get their selfish needs met .If you wish to Top and Domme great for you , do it as something  with in you calls you to do .explore, learn ,grow , just never compromise.You may in fact  may be a great Domme  or Switch If you wish to , not cuz some random troll wants his  needs met .
best wishes



abcbsex -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 12:46:53 PM)

as I said in my original post, I'm definitely not looking to become a switch. It's just such a foreign mindset to me that I was trying to find something to relate it to.



azropedntied -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 12:53:50 PM)

Nope i understand how your not wanting to be a Switch the collar tends to give that away .I was just giving you  insite of the random  fill my needs troll online [:)]Maybe get another cat and see if one tops the other ?



DesFIP -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 1:48:43 PM)

I used to tell my kids that our dog didn't belong to us, we belonged to her.

As far as your comparison in feelings; sometimes that's true. Sometimes the relationship is more like a business contract. Sometimes it's more like a friend with benefits relationship, Sometimes it's true love, best friends, etc. Depends what you both want out of the relationship.



abcbsex -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 2:12:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: azropedntied

Nope i understand how your not wanting to be a Switch the collar tends to give that away .I was just giving you insite of the random fill my needs troll online [:)]Maybe get another cat and see if one tops the other ?


yeah the random fill my needs trolls are silly people, just because I look killer in a corset doesn't mean I like CBT with high-heeled shoes! though I doubt they'd notice how awkward it would be for me, they'd be busy wanking while I tried to figure everything out.

Even if I got a younger feline my cat would still be the bottom, he's afraid of squirrels!



azropedntied -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 5:52:39 PM)

I swear i do not know how you women do it , just  having to deal with all the random masses of  wanking trolls and creepy emails. LOL about the cat and its fear of squirrels .. 



abcbsex -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 6:36:15 PM)

just earlier today a man contacted me and asked about camsex... he mentioned a need for discretion because his wife didn't know about his wanking habits... so I started talking about how much I'd love to have sex with her instead and he ended the conversation pretty quick. Alpha got a laugh out of that one. It's tolerable as long as you keep a sense of humor about the crazies and stupids. 



Leatherist -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 7:02:30 PM)

Shrugs...we all serve each other in some way in a relationship-needs get met.
 
Only morons who inhabit fantasy worlds of thier own devising think it is ALL about them,or even can be.



SmokingGun82 -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (4/30/2008 8:00:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

Pets are, to all intents and purposes, parasites, a skill they have honed over tens of thousands of years, humans are not.


For ninety nine point nine percent of the population, it's impossible for me to disagree with you more.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (5/1/2008 12:31:21 AM)

Here's why you don't understand: you are in denial that you are slave to your cat.

Some people like to be in control. I'm good at it. I get frustrated with situations that just languish when all someone has to do it start telling people what to do to get things done. It just IS.

Master Fire - slave to Master Nitris and Master Lucky



Leatherist -> RE: trying to understand the dominant mindset. (5/1/2008 6:51:55 AM)

Just so you get a grasp here-I don't own pets.

If it poops and can't hold down a day job-it doesn't belong in the house-no matter how many legs it has. No one rides for free.



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