Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/2/2008 12:24:39 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Can you recognize the signs of frenzy in subs that are seeing you? What, if anything, do you do to try to control it or get them back on a more rational track? Do you think you have a responsibility to try to "curb" it?

Also, do you experience Dom frenzy....and if so, can you recognize and control it when you do?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

Post #: 1

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/2/2008 12:28:58 PM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

Usually. "Parking brake"or a "forehead thump reality check". Yes. Yes.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 2

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/2/2008 1:20:23 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

Not that uncommon when playing with newbies. All I have to do is move at my own pace and do what I want to do. After all, dominants have an automatic safeword or they are just life support systems for a whip.

As for myself, 45 years or so of play have pretty much burned out the "frenzy hormone"

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 3

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/2/2008 1:21:12 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

~FR~

I second the "usually."

As for curbing it, I don't feel a responsibility per se, but I do feel a responsibility to be completely honest. Particularly, when I see the sub's emotions heading in a direction that I'm not prepared to go such as if I get the sense he wants more out of the relationship than friendship. Telling someone straight up, "hey, you're nice and I like you but I'm not interested in a relationship with you" tends to be effective. If it's not, then there isn't much I can do about it.

I'm not sure if I've experienced "Domme frenzy," but if I did, I have a SO that is very good about giving me a reality check when I need it.

< Message edited by SylvereApLeanan -- 5/2/2008 1:22:30 PM >

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

Post #: 4

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/2/2008 1:29:36 PM

ObsidianNight

Posts: 3
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline

Frenzy, both in Dominates and subs is an issue that can grow dangerous if not checked. I have experienced "the beast" but quickly learned to control it and use it rather than letting it use Me.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 5

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/2/2008 2:05:29 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

It depends. I usually see it right off and mention it. I also mention that if someone is going to play around with a lot of different people, I also reserve the right to do so.

But when they start going down the tired old stereotype route to try and play head games with me, I Just call bullshit on it. I'm not a fantasy, I'm a person.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to ObsidianNight)

Post #: 6

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/2/2008 3:02:49 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

I hope the thread doesn't exclude submissives.
In truth no I don't think I do recognise sub frenzy in the moment and am almost ashamed to say I don't What I do have are 'rushes' or symptoms I suppose I should call them if it doesn't serve me or support me to have them.
It happens only at the beginning of a relationship and usally fades with time. OR it happens when I haven't seen a Dom for a while.
There are arange of 'reactions' and I always call them reactions to 'him' as I suppose it's one way of not owning the feelings and therefore a sort of blaming it on the Dom.
The reactions iclude feelings of need. Of being lost without him. Of mental preoccupation.The feelings of frenzy are intensified when we are separated. Frenzy is loaded high with emotion and verges on the edges of negative emotion.
I also have this reaction when I am with the dominant though as well. It's a type of feeling of being overwhelmed, almost like a rabbit stuck in the headlights feeling.
Also I would have to include extreme intensity in here as well because I can separate out the feelings of frenzy from the more relaxed trust and letting go which I refer to as responsibile submission which is a different type of intensity...a slowing down.
In frenzy there is a feeling of being out of control rather than of letting go of control and handing it over.
In scenes with more than two, when I am loaned or exchanged then I would say that most of play is then frenzy but without an emotional frenzy or connection.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 7

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/2/2008 3:04:33 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

I also express the idea that if a woman goes nutcase neurotic on me-it's a deal breaker-and I'll drop her like a hot rock for doing it.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 8

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/2/2008 3:22:09 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Frenzy? Is this the too much is not enough syndrome that endorphin junkies can get? Honestly, I don't always catch on to that right away, since it can be read as enthusiasm. I do have a STOP setting, and when I say play is over, it is over, no matter how much the other party thinks they want more~~ broken toys do not get to be re-used, after all.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 9

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/2/2008 4:19:22 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

I don't think you can really be yourself and curb the sub frenzy... after all, it is who and what you are that caused it in the first place. I do not change the pace or direction I move at to avoid feeding their frenzy. I think you can prevent subs from taking action on or making bad decisions based on frenzy though.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 10

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/2/2008 4:29:07 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

.. after all, it is who and what you are that caused it in the first place.

II have to agree.....I am not engaged until I have reached a frenzy, peaked in a frenzy and let the frenzy subside......it's the come down and the 'blurred vision' afterwards which is difficult to cope with.....

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 11

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/2/2008 4:38:21 PM

Tigrita

Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline

I want to say that I've experienced what I'd call dom frenzy from the receiving end as a sub. Or maybe just over-eagerness and high hopes. First dom I started seeing casually. He seemed very grounded and well-menaing and not a hyper-controling, hyper-posessive dirtbag or anything, but he'd make these grand assumptions that were contrary to things I specifically told him. Specifically that I was new, not ready to commit to anything, was seeing other people, etc., but he wanted to name his boat after me, and called himself my master after our first play date which I made clear was just for me to try some things and see what I was interested in, not a commitment to a relationship (not to mention that I don't and never have identified as a slave).

So yeah, it seemed he was sort of in a 'frenzy' to me. Not sure what I'd do about it or do differently to recognize or mediate it besides what I did, which is just say: sorry buddy, no deal, you're not on the same planet as I am about this. A little more tactfully than that, but the only solution I saw was to walk away, since I couldn't surrender anything to someone who was so removed from my reality.

< Message edited by Tigrita -- 5/2/2008 4:43:11 PM >

_____________________________

~ Tigrita

There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

"Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them." - Charlotte

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 12

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/2/2008 9:40:37 PM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

A lesson I learned from reading "The Little Prince"...if you cause somebody to love you, you are responsible for their heart, likewise, if you are aware that you are the object of sub-frenzy, I think squelching it is the right thing to do.

However, this is just my personal feelings about it. I do not project them on anybody else.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to Tigrita)

Post #: 13

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/2/2008 9:59:23 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Can you recognize the signs of frenzy in subs that are seeing you? What, if anything, do you do to try to control it or get them back on a more rational track? Do you think you have a responsibility to try to "curb" it?

Also, do you experience Dom frenzy....and if so, can you recognize and control it when you do?

Oh yes I can recognize it. Unfortunately theres nothing I've found that can do it. I had to sit back this past year or so and watch a VERY close friend go through it- and she is now in the next stage of disillusionment. I said all the things you're supposed to say, told her to slow down, really tried to get her to understand how it was leading and what was likely to follow- all while still being a good friend and letting her make her own choices and supporting that.

Nothing to be done, at least nothing that I've found yet that works.

I recognize it in myself and don't allow it to cloud my judgement where it needs to be- as a polyamorous person always open to new relationships, this tends to be a more immediate risk because of the New Relationship Energy high, so it's even more important for me to be aware of it and take it into consideration.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 14

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/2/2008 10:14:06 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

They really just refuse to listen LA. I've seen it time and a gain-the smart ones realize when they are getting sucked in-but they tend to have gone through it for or five times.

The rest seem to pretty much have to crash and burn to learn what you mean. I wish that more of them could come out of it with a sense of what they let happen however.

Rather then holding a grudge with a "martyr complex"

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 15

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/2/2008 11:17:10 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

If they've been emailing me four times a day for three days, then they're not talking to me in about two weeks, it was sub frenzy. If they're flitting from one person to another over the course of the night and have had several fairly intense encounters with as many people, it's most likely sub frenzy.

The only real way to check is to wait.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 16

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/3/2008 12:18:02 AM

Skully7000

Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline

Hmm... I'm at a loss... I read all the responses trying to pick up what is meant by "Dom or Sub Frenzy" but while I have an idea I don't really get what anyone means by it.

when I think of "frenzy" I think bezerker rage. animilistic fighting where you tap into your inner beast and fight like a demon posessed often able to win many battles since you can not feel pain nor do you tire easily, and frankly win easier since your rage puts fear into all but the best soldiers.

so perhaps my idea of "frenzy" is getting in the way. someone please explain!

Cheers
Skully

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 17

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/3/2008 12:19:10 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Horny bitches playing relentlessly.

And they say that like it's a BAD thing...........

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Skully7000)

Post #: 18

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/3/2008 12:32:20 AM

Skully7000

Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Horny bitches playing relentlessly.

And they say that like it's a BAD thing...........

ahh so when a sub treats her beatings like she is fiending for her next dose of crack she is displaying "sub frenzy" ?

coincidently i've been dealing with that for the last 3 days..

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 19

RE: Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy? - 5/3/2008 12:47:53 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Skully7000

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Horny bitches playing relentlessly.

And they say that like it's a BAD thing...........

ahh so when a sub treats her beatings like she is fiending for her next dose of crack she is displaying "sub frenzy" ?

coincidently i've been dealing with that for the last 3 days..

Let's hope that you survive this unfortunate turn of events.

I should be faced with such misery-geez......

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Skully7000)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Dominants...can you recognize the signs of frenzy?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094