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Training - 5/4/2008 8:35:48 PM

Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

Hello and please bare with me here as I indirectly reserrect the topic of training new subs/slaves under a somewhat different light.

Scenerio for understanding: A sub/slave enters the lifestyle, open and freely willing to learn, however through conversations, interaction, and research finds that the general consensus seems to be that many Dominants/Masters/Tops have a preference that there was no prior training as what the sub/slave may have learned is not reflective of the present situation, bad habits that are unacceptable, and the relearning is harder on both sides of the whip so to speak.

My questions are for clarity purpose.

1. Do Dominants/Masters/Tops prefer sub/slaves with no previous training?
2. If the answer is yes, how does One place in their profile they would like someone with the traits of a sub/slave aka 'slave heart' when the sub/slave does not or can not honestly say they do have it without actually having some experience to know such a thing?

Thanks everyone in advance for the feedback if given. ~ad.

< Message edited by aleshaDreams -- 5/4/2008 8:38:17 PM >

RE: Training - 5/4/2008 8:41:51 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

If you ask 100 dominants/tops the question, "what do you prefer?", you will get 100 different answers.

The way I see it, the question you are asking is very similar to "do men prefer virgins?" Some do, some don't. I don't have any facts to back it up, but it sometimes seems to me that the ones who do prefer virgins (and slaves without prior training) seem to be less experienced themselves, and less sure of their ability to measure up to previous experiences.

Personally, I love slaves who have a bit of wear on their tires, and I simply have no use at all for virgins.

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

RE: Training - 5/4/2008 8:51:58 PM

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams
1. Do Dominants/Masters/Tops prefer sub/slaves with no previous training?

<---Not me... I have even paid someone else to "train up" a slave I liked before she moved in so she was at a level I could start working with her.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

RE: Training - 5/4/2008 8:54:05 PM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams
1. Do Dominants/Masters/Tops prefer sub/slaves with no previous training?]

Some do. Some just have a kink for virgin meat and breaking a girl in.

More often though, they are clueless losers and find that fresh meat is easier to manipulate before they get wise.

quote:

2. If the answer is yes, how does One place in their profile they would like someone with the traits of a sub/slave aka 'slave heart' when the sub/slave does not or can not honestly say they do have it without actually having some experience to know such a thing?

"I currently orient myself as a sub/slave type but am still fairly novice in terms of Ds relationship experience."

And wait for the sharks to circle.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

RE: Training - 5/4/2008 9:18:43 PM

Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams

Hello and please bare with me here as I indirectly reserrect the topic of training new subs/slaves under a somewhat different light.

Scenerio for understanding: A sub/slave enters the lifestyle, open and freely willing to learn, however through conversations, interaction, and research finds that the general consensus seems to be that many Dominants/Masters/Tops have a preference that there was no prior training as what the sub/slave may have learned is not reflective of the present situation, bad habits that are unacceptable, and the relearning is harder on both sides of the whip so to speak.

My questions are for clarity purpose.

1. Do Dominants/Masters/Tops prefer sub/slaves with no previous training?
2. If the answer is yes, how does One place in their profile they would like someone with the traits of a sub/slave aka 'slave heart' when the sub/slave does not or can not honestly say they do have it without actually having some experience to know such a thing?

Thanks everyone in advance for the feedback if given. ~ad.

1. I have enough experience to care either way. However, I am quite certain that a future me wouldn't care either way. I doubt a slave would be trained as I want her trained regardless of how many masters she has had in the past. and I sincerely doubt a slave, just like the master, is never fully developed - there is always room for self-improvement.
2. I can't even decipher 2, so fortunately my answer is N/A.

are you a submissive or a dominant, that'd clear things up a lot.

_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

RE: Training - 5/4/2008 9:36:26 PM

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams
My questions are for clarity purpose.

1. Do Dominants/Masters/Tops prefer sub/slaves with no previous training?

Personally, I prefer little to no prior training with my boys. I also prefer them very young, so I dont have much trouble finding boys who have not been in the lifestyle long enough to pick up bad habits yet. My problem isnt so much in the retraining as it is in the comparisons. I am not going to do things like their previous mistresses did, and tey are going to either expect I do, or respond to me as they would have to her, whether or not it is what I like.

quote:

2. If the answer is yes, how does One place in their profile they would like someone with the traits of a sub/slave aka 'slave heart' when the sub/slave does not or can not honestly say they do have it without actually having some experience to know such a thing?

I dont put it specifically, since it isnt a hard rule for me. I woudlnt rule someone good out becasue they had experience. I just prefer the young ones, and they tend to be beginners. I dont buy into the whole "slaves heart" thing. Someone wants to serve, and thats what I wil allow them to do. I know with beginners it doesnt always work out well, and I am prepared for that. Sometimes, what they thought they wanted turns out not to work fr them at all. Sometimes, its perfect, like with Fox.
Taking someone from scratch is harder than someone who has served before. It has a lot more variables and unfortunately a higher failure rate. But, with the right boys, its worth the challenge.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

RE: Training - 5/4/2008 9:43:53 PM

Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline

All depends on the person and the level of their prev training. If a submissive for example was trained to show no emotion at all thats a hard one to redirect.

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(in reply to aleshaDreams)

RE: Training - 5/4/2008 9:44:47 PM

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams

Hello and please bare with me here as I indirectly reserrect the topic of training new subs/slaves under a somewhat different light.

Scenerio for understanding: A sub/slave enters the lifestyle, open and freely willing to learn, however through conversations, interaction, and research finds that the general consensus seems to be that many Dominants/Masters/Tops have a preference that there was no prior training as what the sub/slave may have learned is not reflective of the present situation, bad habits that are unacceptable, and the relearning is harder on both sides of the whip so to speak.

My questions are for clarity purpose.

1. Do Dominants/Masters/Tops prefer sub/slaves with no previous training?

Answering solely for myself, yes, I'd "prefer" a newbie sub with limited to zero training and experience etc, but that's only in an ideal World. I'd also "prefer" her to be an otherwise untouched, petite, natural redhead, lingerie model with a few hundred country acres, too, but life simply doesn't work like that....

I like the shared intimacy of training; it's one of the best aspects of D/s and, the more inexperienced she is, the longer the training will take. It's true that an experienced sub/slave will have learned habits and protocols that I neither desire or even approve of and that in itself will take time to... errr.... correct? But, I dunno, the previous experience usually means they're fast learners and I rather enjoy the newbie's edgy awkwardness as she explores the unchartered waters of self discovery....

quote:

2. If the answer is yes, how does One place in their profile they would like someone with the traits of a sub/slave aka 'slave heart' when the sub/slave does not or can not honestly say they do have it without actually having some experience to know such a thing?

You don't put any such thing...! The most important aspect is to connect as individuals. Mutual chemistry smooths most bumps and I've experienced first hand how an otherwise reluctant or unsure submissive can go way beyond her own perceived limitations if she meets the right partner who cultivates a safe and trusting environment.

Or, if you must say it but can't honestly say you're 'X' or 'Y' etc, then give that as your answer anyway. Anyone you're likely to connect with will understand your caution and lack of knowledge/experience....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

RE: Training - 5/4/2008 10:18:32 PM

Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

TallDarkAndWitty: Thank you, I seem to understand what you are stating but if we turn that 'you have no use for the virgins', I am now curious as to how you would know that they could not make the ideal submissive/slave. Perhaps they have all the fundamental principals in place but the training lacks in the area of protocols and other such things in relation to the particular lifestyle you lead. I read over and over again in threads that the usual default of looking for answers is back at the Master of the House and the relationship, hence a new kid on the block would and could have the mindset but no actual training, which in turn would not render them completely useless, would you not agree?

ResidentSadist: Work them in the play department at the level you could work with, or at something else. Please excuse me I am just taking this from your handle reference 'Sadist'.

variation30: 2 was asking if you preferred to have a sub/slave without prior training, yet desired them to identify themselves with a slave heart, how would or could a potential sub/slave without experience even profess to state they possessed such a thing. Similar to 'slaves' declaring they are slaves when they are only capable of being submissive due to mindset. I hope that clears that up. And I state I am submissive, but do not have a profile on collarme.

DiurnalVampire: Thank you for your response. You have the patience to teach, I think that is truely a valued asset. Something I find that lacks around this neck of the woods. But then again you train your boys for self and for them; this is an issue I am attempting to logic here as it is hard to find One to train me when they find discomfort in the thought of training me for someOne else.

Focus50: Focus thank you, it is nice to see that it is probable that not all hope is lost. I was starting to wonder if my deck had all hands played and no more moves to be taken. Your response is reassuring, thank you again :)

LuckyAlbatross: Yes I have been approached by many a new d type that felt that because I was new they could pull the wool over my eyes... it actually was entertaining and half the crap out there is only worth the cost of the entertainment. Thanks for your response.

< Message edited by aleshaDreams -- 5/4/2008 10:19:36 PM >

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

RE: Training - 5/5/2008 12:12:34 AM

Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
<---Not me... I have even paid someone else to "train up" a slave I liked before she moved in so she was at a level I could start working with her.

Man, where does someone get in on that gig? ;)

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

RE: Training - 5/5/2008 4:50:04 AM

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

As I have stated before, every slave that has come to me has, with respect to me and my purposes, never been trained. All are virgin to my wants, needs, and desires.

_____________________________

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

RE: Training - 5/5/2008 5:03:26 AM

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

No profile, no conversation

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

RE: Training - 5/5/2008 5:09:52 AM

Posts: 3513
Joined: 3/10/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode
No profile, no conversation

Fuck you mean she has to write a few lines of bumph for you to give your opinion to a question she has?

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えへまにんへえや
Nobody wants to listen to the same song over and over again!

(in reply to antipode)

RE: Training - 5/5/2008 5:24:10 AM

Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

celticlord2112: I understand what you are stating, we all are somewhat virgins in new relationships, I appreciate your input. Thank you.

(in reply to celticlord2112)

RE: Training - 5/5/2008 5:29:59 AM

Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

antipode: What difference does having a profile make. I don't have a profile as nearly everyone of the Dominants that are listed under 'Alberta' Canada either I have met and are unacceptable, have met but are not what I seek, have met and they are wheezers, have not met but am not interested in what they or how they present themselves, or have an issue with ego tripping, or are just not what they say they are. A profile and connecting with someone via collarme with someone in Alberta just is not a collarme success story for me. So to appease you and placing a profile, so that I can get input I afraid is just not going to happen. It is a waste of my time there, and the message board is still a wonderful place to learn. But thanks for your response under the circumstances.

(in reply to antipode)

RE: Training - 5/5/2008 6:35:27 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams

Thank you, I seem to understand what you are stating but if we turn that 'you have no use for the virgins', I am now curious as to how you would know that they could not make the ideal submissive/slave.

The wonderful thing about the problem of virginity is that it is quite easily cured and the treatment is quite fun! *wink*

If a slave has the right attitude, and a basic compatibility with myself and the others in my house, experience is never really an issue. It is so hard to meet someone who clicks with me, much less the two other women in my house...I can't really afford to filter based on how many times someone has been flogged, fucked or fellated.

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

RE: Training - 5/5/2008 7:11:07 AM

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

When I read they have prievious 'training' then I am likely to think they have been taken in by one of the many dweebs out there who look to use a girl short term without taking up any of the responcibility of Ownership. The ONLY person who can 'train' a girl to serve Me... is Me... Each Master has their Own requirements, prioritys and emphasis. If they have been 'Trained' to do things a particular way I am likely to have to REtrain them anyhow and break them of what to MY needs would be bad habits in that they are contrary to MY requirements.

I do however prefer a girl with EXPERIENCE....They know what they are and what they seek from having been there and done that rather than just exploring what they think they maybe suited for.

They maybe also have bad habits but because they aren't tied into "This is the way I was trained to do it" they are a big step forward over those who have been trained to think there is one set way things should be done. Entering into MY household things are done MY way

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

RE: Training - 5/5/2008 11:41:54 AM

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

It all depends on what "training" means. If you're talking about specifics like how I like my t-shirts folded, well, it doesn't matter if they've had training or not 'cause I'll teach them that anyway. If you're talking about generalities such as how to act in public, there are some basic things that I've seen that I enjoy, so it's usually helpful to have that training. What I hate, however, is coming across someone who has been trained in personal preferences by someone and they assume it's "the norm" and tires to continue doing them with me. I hate bieng asked if they can eat, I hate being asked if they can pee, I hate being asked if they can breathe.

But, untraining someone of those things is as much trouble as training someone, so it really doesn't matter. As long as they are willing and able to learn, I'm ok. But, it's easier on me if they know basic leather protocol. In a perfect world, basic leather protocol training would fall to my girl, anne, so I wouldn't have to mess with it. I guess that means I prefer them trained. *chuckle*

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to aleshaDreams)

RE: Training - 5/5/2008 12:46:50 PM

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Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I come with prior life experience. I come with some training Ie. How to pee in a toilet, How to chew with my mouth closed, How to breathe on my own accord, to know its not okay to go out in the middle of the street buck naked. That showering is something you do every day and finally, if your going to get a piercing or tattoo, you better take care of it.

I was also trained in the basics of how to cook, how to clean, how to suck cock, and how to use machines like a dish washer and washing machine.

If my owner doesnt like how i do something He can say so Ill change if I want or feel I need to and adapt to the way he wants me to be. If its not an acceptable change to me like say peeing in a litter box. Ill smile sweetly and tell him I cant or wont change and he will just have to deal with it or theres the door. I come the way I am. You can tweak to your wants and whims, like cooking in a short skirt with no panties, or using a swiffer instead of a broom. Changing small things doesnt matter nor really never will.

If a girl wants to be pleasing to her perticular owner she will be pleasing, training and or tweaking isnt that hard. To me is the same principal. You train someone to wash your clothes this way. They have either never washed or washed them that way. Either way its going to take time and patience on the D part for the S part to get it right.

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

RE: Training - 5/5/2008 6:59:02 PM

Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

I greatly appreciate everyones response; they were fantastic and it gives me somewhere to focus. When I speak of training I do not speak of laundry, cooking, sewing etc., I had a good upbringing and learnt much of those things, as a matter of fact I am rather darn good at those sorts of tasks if I can be so bold to say. However, when I speak of training I speak towards protocols within the lifestyle that are not apparent visibly in the nilla world.

Thanks everyone again, wonderful to read all the feedback :)

(in reply to hopelessfool)

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