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For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/20/2008 4:37:28 PM

PainandGain

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I'm curious to see the differences and similarities between Doms and how they start, continue through and finally end scenes.

I'd appreciate any input.

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/20/2008 5:43:56 PM

Skully7000

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Joined: 7/22/2007
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wow so many different variables...I will keep breif:

Depending on if its a sub or a bottom(is she actually submitting to me or is she just receiving whatever type of play we will be enjoying)

if its just bottoming to me then there isn't much in the mental preperation. we are having fun and communicate freely and usually it takes on a more sexual, sensual, or passionate role. talking her through things verbally checking in "how's that feel how are you doing/holding up" "yeah you like that?"

if its a D/s scene. then again depending on the sub, I can be either a very Daddy dom role. in which case their is a nice gradual buildup the scene will start almost as we are just standing around talking...usually with a little bit more touching on the shoulders a little bit of whispering in ears. reassurances a plenty.

If its going to be the bossy mean dom then its a different story. then I need a little bit of time to work myself into domspace. I don't need to do anythign special like meditate or anything usually it starts like this:
I'm talking to a few people and my sub is usually there with us... and once we are ready I will either have her continue with the conversation while I set up or have her take things out of the bag and wait where we are going to play while I continue the conversation...
either way I need the seperation from the sub. during that time... I am emotionally distancing myself from her. I don't need to meditate or stop what I'm doing as long as we are not directly interacting... if I sent her do something then the scene has already started...and I know while she is getting stuff ready she has also been reading herself. if I simply sent her away... she knows that she can enjoy her time but in the back of her head she is still starting the process. in this case I will ask if she is ready simply to give her one last "warning" that the scene is starting. from that point on I'm confident I know what I want and how to get it I'm also HYPER aware of her feelings emotions and needs(more so then normal...which is pretty high in general) the difference is...I don't neccesarily care. her feelings emotions and needs are only relevent in how they can be used to serve my needs. obviously breaking her won't lend itself well to completing the scene...bringing her to the brink of her limits and flirting with them while alternating between wanting more and being so scared that she wants to safeword... pushing buttons in order to invoke responses...and correctly anticpating those responses...so that I remain in control at all times stripping her of her will to fight back. stripping her of her hesitations...and most importantly stripping her of her insecurities... I strive to make her feel so vulnerable that she realizes that her only protection from the outside world at that one moment in time is me. and she has never felt safer.
and then after it is all over comes the task of rebuilding her. which is most important for me... because in rebuilding her I am also allowing my cares and concerns for her to resurface.
bringing back the friendly jovial person that I am day to day...
and damn it...I just totally talked myself into dom-space...hard... luckily i'm 2 days away from Camp Crucible...

Cheers
Skully

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/20/2008 5:46:20 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PainandGain

I'm curious to see the differences and similarities between Doms and how they start, continue through and finally end scenes.

I start to do what I want

I finish when I am done doing what I want.

Repetition is such a boring adventure.

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 5/20/2008 5:47:11 PM >

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/20/2008 6:27:23 PM

JohnWarren

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Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PainandGain

I'm curious to see the differences and similarities between Doms and how they start, continue through and finally end scenes.

I'd appreciate any input.

It depends on my partner's needs and how I'm feeling at the time. I don't think I've done the same scene twice in over 40 years of playing. The only consistent "start/stop" is with violent role play. With that I always begin with the attachment of a collar and end with the removal of it. That allows me to delimit the behavior and distinguish the "dark side" from my normal behavior.

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/20/2008 7:10:44 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Ditto. When it comes to the standard S&M type scene, I often begin with basic binding and physical connection to feel the body, get a read and set the tone.

But there's no path or set script. Whatever feels right in the moment for where I want to go.

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/20/2008 9:32:25 PM

SimplyMichael

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Joined: 1/7/2007
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I usually have no idea what the heck I am going to do and then suddenly as the energy starts flowing the really hot scenes take form and become hot and intense. I go from "gee, let me spank you" to some dark creature ripping the flesh from her bones or the crazed nutjob with a knife who is going to carve off her clit, or the secret slave trader who is going to sell this hot little cunt to a rich arab client with a taste for the obscene.

Planning? Not so much.

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/20/2008 10:33:10 PM

FangsNfeet

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Joined: 12/3/2004
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Let's just go with the basics.

You first have the warm up

Build to a climax of intensity

Slow it down gradulaly with sight bumps/climaxes

After care with the sub space

But I don't do this all the same. Different toys, wax, knives, hot/cold, bondage gear, etc.... are thrown into the mix. As it's already been said, repetivness gets boring.

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/21/2008 2:00:34 AM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Skully7000

wow so many different variables...I will keep breif:

Depending on if its a sub or a bottom(is she actually submitting to me or is she just receiving whatever type of play we will be enjoying)

if its just bottoming to me then there isn't much in the mental preperation. we are having fun and communicate freely and usually it takes on a more sexual, sensual, or passionate role. talking her through things verbally checking in "how's that feel how are you doing/holding up" "yeah you like that?"

if its a D/s scene. then again depending on the sub, I can be either a very Daddy dom role. in which case their is a nice gradual buildup the scene will start almost as we are just standing around talking...usually with a little bit more touching on the shoulders a little bit of whispering in ears. reassurances a plenty.

If its going to be the bossy mean dom then its a different story. then I need a little bit of time to work myself into domspace. I don't need to do anythign special like meditate or anything usually it starts like this:
I'm talking to a few people and my sub is usually there with us... and once we are ready I will either have her continue with the conversation while I set up or have her take things out of the bag and wait where we are going to play while I continue the conversation...
either way I need the seperation from the sub. during that time... I am emotionally distancing myself from her. I don't need to meditate or stop what I'm doing as long as we are not directly interacting... if I sent her do something then the scene has already started...and I know while she is getting stuff ready she has also been reading herself. if I simply sent her away... she knows that she can enjoy her time but in the back of her head she is still starting the process. in this case I will ask if she is ready simply to give her one last "warning" that the scene is starting. from that point on I'm confident I know what I want and how to get it I'm also HYPER aware of her feelings emotions and needs(more so then normal...which is pretty high in general) the difference is...I don't neccesarily care. her feelings emotions and needs are only relevent in how they can be used to serve my needs. obviously breaking her won't lend itself well to completing the scene...bringing her to the brink of her limits and flirting with them while alternating between wanting more and being so scared that she wants to safeword... pushing buttons in order to invoke responses...and correctly anticpating those responses...so that I remain in control at all times stripping her of her will to fight back. stripping her of her hesitations...and most importantly stripping her of her insecurities... I strive to make her feel so vulnerable that she realizes that her only protection from the outside world at that one moment in time is me. and she has never felt safer.
and then after it is all over comes the task of rebuilding her. which is most important for me... because in rebuilding her I am also allowing my cares and concerns for her to resurface.
bringing back the friendly jovial person that I am day to day...
and damn it...I just totally talked myself into dom-space...hard... luckily i'm 2 days away from Camp Crucible...

Cheers
Skully

This was a big wow for me. Thanks. Great peek into the mind, and all that. I thought this could be a cheesy thread, but this was a great read. Thanks, again.

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/21/2008 2:10:38 AM

Justme696

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As some others said...good thing about beeing a Dom is..we can decide...how..when..and how long....where.
I just take it when I want..or notice my girl needs it. I hardly plan it.

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/21/2008 2:58:28 AM

LadyPact

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Nope. It's never the same twice.

For the beginning, I do always ask the same question. "Are you ready to play?"

For the end, it's rare that I don't say, "Thank you" and "I'm so proud of you".

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/21/2008 5:51:07 AM

mistoferin

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Most of our scenes are impromptu and just sort of happen out of a desire that pops up on the spur of the moment.

Some of our scenes are well planned by Sir. He will literally sit down over a period of time and write a detailed outline of the scene. I never really know much about it...other than he is planning a future scene. I think he has several in the works at any given time. He will write a basic outline of the different stages of the scene, different props or equipment, lighting, what music he wants to have playing at what part of the scene....even some variances that depend on different possible reactions on my part. These scenes tend to be very elaborate and they will sometimes lead into things that were not planned out....new ideas that pop up in the middle of doing something else. When that happens he will explore that new road but then he eventually gets us back to the original plan. These scenes, for that reason, can sometimes be very lengthy.

He will usually plan a time for the scene and will inform me that on ______ we will be scening. He usually drops little hints or will "tickle" at my fear buttons leading up to the scene to build the anticipation. Sometimes I love that....and sometimes it overwhelms me and by the time the day gets there I'm wound tighter than a three day clock.

I LOVE that he does this. Not necessarily because of the elaborate nature of the scenes but because if just feels damn nice to know that he has invested so much thought and planning into making some really special times for us to share.

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/21/2008 5:53:27 AM

Justme696

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Not sure if this counts for others too. But I love the supprise on the face of my girl..when it happens unexpected instead of planned.
That look gives me a rush.

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/21/2008 7:28:10 AM

DominantJenny

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Joined: 4/6/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PainandGain

I'm curious to see the differences and similarities between Doms and how they start, continue through and finally end scenes.

I'd appreciate any input.

I generally fall on the more "make it up as I go along" end of things, although I also make it a habit to fantasize when I can, and I fantasize realistically and frequently will get "key moments" from that that serve as a guide for a scene, usually two or three individual moments, sometimes only one, sometimes five or six....rarely more. Sometimes, I have a general outline for an entire scene (like, to take one we did, pretending to make a "how to" video), along with the key moments around which the rest of it revolves.
My current partner and I have been together a long time, so it's pretty much "we're having sex tonight"...which is always at least mildly kinked...long since given up entirely vanilla encounters as they just plain don't do it for us...in a minimum scene, there's at least some pinching (nipples and other tender bits)/digging in of nails, ball spanking, and D/s dynamics/wordplay. I know what he likes, what he doesn't like...if I'm going to try something genuinely new, I give him a heads up and we see how it goes. Otherwise, I do, as others have said, what I want, when I want, how I want, while, at the same time, keeping him hot and bothered one way or another. After scenes, if we've both orgasmed, I generally (though not in a "quickie" scene or one that had nothing of major interest about it) will have what I call a CQC period...Compliments, Questions, Concerns...otherwise, it's pretty much the same as vanilla...affection, cuddling, casual conversation, falling asleep, etc. If we haven't both orgasmed, the scene is sort of "part one", so tends to end still in scene-mode or transition out temporarily, so no real "end" happens.
Oh, the other way I begin a scene is just to ramp up the D/s dynamic to a higher-than-usual level...which usually has both of us getting aroused pretty quickly.
That pretty much covers it, I think!

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/21/2008 8:33:22 AM

Taboo4Two

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Joined: 1/1/2004
From: NH, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PainandGain

I'm curious to see the differences and similarities between Doms and how they start, continue through and finally end scenes.

I'd appreciate any input.

As many have said the energy of the scene generally dictates where it goes.

Before the scene I often will blindfold, cuff and lightly bind her and then make my preparations. This lets her focus on my prep for the scene and helps her to get in a good head space before we start.

Domino

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/21/2008 8:38:31 AM

thetammyjo

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I always start and end a formal scene with a form of verbal-lead relaxation/mediation for the sub. Helping him narrow down his focus to me and the moments to come and then helping him reconnect to the rest of the world at the end.

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/21/2008 8:56:18 AM

Constrictor1

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From: Constrictor1
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PainandGain,
Welcome! To answer your questions somewhat: Unless I am planning to cut or tear the clothes off of her I usually start with " Take your clothes off". I usually end with thank you or good girl or both. In the middle I try to set 3 things in my head that I want to do to her, but that is open to complete change depending on the developments during the scene/play. Another minor but important setup item is that I allot up to 4 hours for play and turn all electronic communication devices OFF. I don't like interruptions.

Constrictor1

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/21/2008 9:53:32 AM

LadyHugs

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Dear PainandGain, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I do consider myself "Old School" when it comes to 'scenes.' I do have a series of rituals to which I use to establish the roles of Master-slave. I enter the dungeon and stand in the middle and give a que, to which the slave will put on my vest and place the belt with the flogger. Once done, my slave will kneel in formal presentment and in this; it allows my slave to smell the body and leather scent; to which works on the nose and mental aspects which triggers the sexual aspects of the body--pheromones to be exact. This starts things beyond just warm up.

The cuffs will be affixed to which I talk quietly with the slave and generalize what I shall do. Usually, this gives me an indication of the slave's mental/physical level of participation. Then affixing to a free standing frame; to which offers me 180 degree whip radius; I will awaken the skin with textures and caresses, also the hot-cold temperatures. I do not blindfold slaves if I can help it. They shut their eyes if they need to/want to. I want to see their eyes as when they approach sub space the eyes get a bit glazed/glassy.

When I have progressed where I wish, I usually work with floggers, paddles, canes, single tails, cat o nines and or quirts in which I start light and step up, then back down and go two steps forward as far as impact and intensity. I use the step philosophy until I reach the peak and hold that slave there as long as I wish or the slave is able; then I step back down the ladder per se; a slow decent down to light whip work with floggers, single tails, quirts, cat-o-nines, canes and or paddles. I do not have a specific order in which I use them. In between I may do some sadism, e.g. nip torture, cbt torture/clit torture, massive zipper usually in the peak of the scene.

Once the scene is concluded, I then take a blanket and wrap around my slave and sit on a very comfortable sofa and give aftercare where we closely are in contact. The opportunity to maintain a 'high' afterwards, with the slave smelling the leather I wear and a flogger or whip of my choosing--caressing the slave's skin; I will offer water in small amounts as to hydrate the slave. When the slave has gained their faculties, then the slave will dismount from the sofa and put themselves back into formal presentment. Then I rise and give a que as to have the slave remove my vest and then go about their duties of taking care of my needs.

Please do understand this is what I do in my private dungeon.

In public dungeons and or at parties; people wishing to use the bondage furniture requires some creative short cuts and less time consuming rituals and behaviors. However, my basic foundation is unchanged as far as the scene goes--the approach and decent of the slave's flying and or sub-space; the after-care remains the same but, after clearing the bondage furniture and cleaning of the furniture; as to permit the next couple a clean start to their scene.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/21/2008 10:20:18 AM

Owner4SexSlave

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I don't have any set method or way. It all depends upon so many things, even the scene itself. Nothing set in stone on this one.

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/21/2008 10:23:09 AM

Cuffkinks

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Joined: 5/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: PainandGain

I'm curious to see the differences and similarities between Doms and how they start, continue through and finally end scenes.

I start to do what I want

I finish when I am done doing what I want.

Repetition is such a boring adventure.

I have to agree with this. The only things I will add are some talking to My little girl in the right tone to start her on her way mentally, and again after, especially if it's an intense scene. My little girl requires a good amount of aftercare, which mostly consists of close contact with Me and Me giving positive, loving feedback. As far as what happens during... I can't put it any better than Knight already has.

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RE: For the Doms...Starting scenes - 5/21/2008 12:32:47 PM

MsAriel

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/18/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantJenny

quote:

ORIGINAL: PainandGain

I'm curious to see the differences and similarities between Doms and how they start, continue through and finally end scenes.

I'd appreciate any input.

I generally fall on the more "make it up as I go along" end of things, although I also make it a habit to fantasize when I can, and I fantasize realistically and frequently will get "key moments" from that that serve as a guide for a scene, usually two or three individual moments, sometimes only one, sometimes five or six....rarely more. Sometimes, I have a general outline for an entire scene (like, to take one we did, pretending to make a "how to" video), along with the key moments around which the rest of it revolves.
My current partner and I have been together a long time, so it's pretty much "we're having sex tonight"...which is always at least mildly kinked...long since given up entirely vanilla encounters as they just plain don't do it for us...in a minimum scene, there's at least some pinching (nipples and other tender bits)/digging in of nails, ball spanking, and D/s dynamics/wordplay. I know what he likes, what he doesn't like...if I'm going to try something genuinely new, I give him a heads up and we see how it goes. Otherwise, I do, as others have said, what I want, when I want, how I want, while, at the same time, keeping him hot and bothered one way or another. After scenes, if we've both orgasmed, I generally (though not in a "quickie" scene or one that had nothing of major interest about it) will have what I call a CQC period...Compliments, Questions, Concerns...otherwise, it's pretty much the same as vanilla...affection, cuddling, casual conversation, falling asleep, etc. If we haven't both orgasmed, the scene is sort of "part one", so tends to end still in scene-mode or transition out temporarily, so no real "end" happens.
Oh, the other way I begin a scene is just to ramp up the D/s dynamic to a higher-than-usual level...which usually has both of us getting aroused pretty quickly.
That pretty much covers it, I think!

Finally someone mentioned sex and having orgasms as part of the scene. Good for you!!

My scenes almost always include multiple orgasms for her, and end with my orgasm.

Dan

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