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Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 1:44:08 AM   
masterjm2k4


Posts: 17
Joined: 7/23/2004
Status: offline 		Hi, I was wondering how an inexperienced master learn about training a submissive without breaking the 'rules' of BDSM(like harming and abusing, since some of what I've read would look like abuse to unknowing or newer). Also how would one find out more about the on-line d/s aspect(like where can one go or how certain things work in a chat and how to act.

Thank you in advance for answers.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 5:13:01 AM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline 		some information about the training part can be found in these threads;

mentors

getting experience

(with thanks to proudsub, whose work I basically copied and pasted from another thread)

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to masterjm2k4)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 9:54:08 AM   
MastersControl


Posts: 31
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Training, training, training... I remember when I decided, I wanted to have a slave. However, I was very lucky to have a mentor, who trained me and basiclly gave me my first sub, who he trained me on. This is the way it used to be before the advent of internet BDSM. The Old Guard style was tried and true. Now with that said, there are other outlets... munch's who have seasoned Masters, not Doms, but real life Masters where they have subs who love them... are great sources of training.

_____________________________

A Master is not a title, it is what a slave calls her trusted Dom. The true Masters of the past were trained, and given the name, not given the title by self-proclamation.

(in reply to Thanatosian)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 9:56:15 AM   
MastersControl


Posts: 31
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I have a stupid question, because I am new to these forums, how do I get it to not say "Vanilla" next to my name, because I am no where near "vanilla"?

MC

_____________________________

A Master is not a title, it is what a slave calls her trusted Dom. The true Masters of the past were trained, and given the name, not given the title by self-proclamation.

(in reply to MastersControl)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 11:38:39 AM   
masterjm2k4


Posts: 17
Joined: 7/23/2004
Status: offline 		um..another question about being new, is it wrong to ask a submissive for advice on how to train them(just little aspects)?

(in reply to MastersControl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 12:43:37 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MastersControl

I have a stupid question, because I am new to these forums, how do I get it to not say "Vanilla" next to my name, because I am no where near "vanilla"?


Post more.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to MastersControl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 2:17:32 PM   
masterjm2k4


Posts: 17
Joined: 7/23/2004
Status: offline 		um..I'll repeat my question. Is it wrong to ask a sub for advice on how to train them if one doesn't know?

(in reply to masterjm2k4)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 2:45:43 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

um..I'll repeat my question.

You don't need to ask questions twice just because people didn't leap to answer your question within some arbirtary time frame. Remember, patience is a virtue.

quote:

Is it wrong to ask a sub for advice on how to train them if one doesn't know?

Can you be just a touch more specific here? Is it wrong in whose eyes? What are you planning to ask advice about?

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to masterjm2k4)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 3:24:12 PM   
sweetieboop


Posts: 84
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I think it depends on the sub.

(in reply to masterjm2k4)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 3:29:16 PM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MastersControl

I have a stupid question, because I am new to these forums, how do I get it to not say "Vanilla" next to my name, because I am no where near "vanilla"?

MC


Keep posting. As you increase your post count, the names will go from Vanilla to far more decadent ends.

Good luck!

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to MastersControl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 4:56:52 PM   
SirDavid2U


Posts: 3
Joined: 7/22/2004
Status: offline 		MasterJim.......There is nothing wrong with "checking in" with your loving sub. You are afterall charged with the responsibility for her ultimate care and safety. If you are truly serious, you will study human physiology and focus primarily on blood flow, temperature and nerve endings. A considerate Dom will use education and logic tempered by his own resolve to stay focused and not lose control.

(in reply to Voltare)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 6:07:52 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

(with thanks to proudsub, whose work I basically copied and pasted from another


No problem, feel free anytime.

< Message edited by proudsub -- 7/23/2004 6:08:17 PM >

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to Thanatosian)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 6:09:41 PM   
SherriA


Posts: 544
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterjm2k4
Is it wrong to ask a sub for advice on how to train them if one doesn't know?


Is it not a shared journey? Should not both participants have some input? And who better to know what works or doesn't than the individual in question?

I think by NOT asking your partner you're doing a disservice to both of you.

_____________________________

-- Sherri

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

(in reply to masterjm2k4)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 6:11:04 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Is it wrong to ask a sub for advice on how to train them if one doesn't know?


I basically trained hubby to be my Dom.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to masterjm2k4)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 6:15:58 PM   
melycious


Posts: 45
Joined: 1/20/2004
Status: offline 		always has just the slightest issue with the training thing.. but i'll save that for another rant...

i guess my questions would have to be.......

1. do you know why you are training them?
2. what will you do with them when they are "trained"? (sees all too often, sub gets trained, dom gets bored)
3. what are you looking to find in yourself in "training" a sub?
4. are you ready for the ongoing responsibility you take on, once you "train" someone?


all of those questions..and then........... go find other like minded places and people, hang out, watch, ask questions, find someone who knows what they are doing, ask them to show you, hands on.....

training is not the same as applying physical anything..... and all too often it gets confused...

mely

(in reply to SherriA)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 6:47:04 PM   
masterjm2k4


Posts: 17
Joined: 7/23/2004
Status: offline 		I'm sorry about the attitude to masters asking subs for advice question, I guess I've have yet to see more of that. What I mean is it alright to maybe ask a sub about something you yourself don't know, but the sub may know about it and even experienced it.

(in reply to melycious)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 10:48:39 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I'm curious about why someone new to this lifestyle would already be calling themselves masterjm?

(in reply to masterjm2k4)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 11:41:54 PM   
masterjm2k4


Posts: 17
Joined: 7/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

I'm curious about why someone new to this lifestyle would already be calling themselves masterjm?


Oh, well the master part comes from another area and JM is my initials. I just thought I'd use my normal nick. Is that a problem?

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/23/2004 11:47:59 PM   
SherriA


Posts: 544
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterjm2k4
Oh, well the master part comes from another area and JM is my initials. I just thought I'd use my normal nick. Is that a problem?


Most people who do wiitwd RL are of a mind that "master" is something that you earn, not something you annoint yourself with, especially with no experience to back it up.

_____________________________

-- Sherri

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

(in reply to masterjm2k4)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Question about new masters to bdsm - 7/24/2004 12:46:54 AM   
masterjm2k4


Posts: 17
Joined: 7/23/2004
Status: offline 		well I'm sorry about that and am aware of that fact. I just used my on-line gaming nick for this, but I see it's wrong thing to do. I'm not claiming that I'm a master in this um..area and am trying to figure out how to do things around here. I mean someone said to me to look for local community to gain experience so that I may one day be able to be a master to a sub/slave, yet I do not know how to find it.

(in reply to SherriA)
Profile   Post #: 20
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