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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/15/2005 6:48:53 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
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The point of loosing weight is the burn more energy than you put in, one way to do it is eat more vegtables as the body burn more calories trying to digest them than it gains from them, another is exersise, including sex, just think aboute an orgasem, how powerful it feels in the body, and the energy for that must come from somplace, and if the body dont have any new Energy to use, it will use olf Energy, aka fat.

(in reply to plantlady64)
Profile   Post #: 401
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/15/2005 7:00:08 AM   
redheadedfire4u


Posts: 104
Joined: 11/11/2005
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hmmmmm ok so not just great sex but multi orgasms are needed for this new diet and exercise plan that I am sugesting most respectfully to Sir .... the world is a wonderful place lol

_____________________________

Driver1961's girl "wild child" and loving sister to His angel

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 402
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/15/2005 7:58:06 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
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oh my.....so many subs/slaves will want to present this new diet info to their Sirs/Doms/Masters...lmfao..........

as we all KNOW a sub must be in good health to last a long time to please


quote:

ORIGINAL: redheadedfire4u

hmmmmm ok so not just great sex but multi orgasms are needed for this new diet and exercise plan that I am sugesting most respectfully to Sir .... the world is a wonderful place lol



_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to redheadedfire4u)
Profile   Post #: 403
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/15/2005 3:06:25 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
Heads out to start selling owners of lusty sub/slaves, Health Insurance, Life Insurance, Hospital Insurance and a Funeral Plan; to help make sure that the Masters are covered before they are hit with the sex frenzies sub/slaves.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to fyreredsub)
Profile   Post #: 404
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/15/2005 3:46:44 PM   
Phoenxx


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline
Not all veggies help lose weight. Carrots are high in sugar and actually can cause weight gain.
It also depends on your blood type and more.
Sex and swimming are the two best exercises. I asked about sex in the water... and got told to leave the class.
Sigh

Tony

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 405
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/15/2005 4:42:53 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenxx

Not all veggies help lose weight. Carrots are high in sugar and actually can cause weight gain.
It also depends on your blood type and more.
Sex and swimming are the two best exercises. I asked about sex in the water... and got told to leave the class.
Sigh

Tony


G'day Tony,

mate you really need to find a scuba buddy (female, nubile and a sex maniac) and both of you go scuba diving nakid. The sex is great under water but somewhat differenmt. deffinately an experience I'd reccomend.


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Phoenxx)
Profile   Post #: 406
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/15/2005 5:23:15 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
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Wonders how the "Your not my Dom syndrome" thread turned into a discussion about weight loss, diving and sex... well the sex I can understand. I move and my Lord thinks about sex... I talk and my Lord thinks about sex... I laugh and my Lord thinks about sex... I breathe and my Lord thinks about sex... so, yeah.. the sex part I can understand *eg* But He's my Dom, so that's okay.. just trying to stay on topic.

Knight's kyra


(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 407
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/15/2005 5:25:24 PM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
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not sex frenzies...lol.its diet and exercise for the good of mankind


quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Heads out to start selling owners of lusty sub/slaves, Health Insurance, Life Insurance, Hospital Insurance and a Funeral Plan; to help make sure that the Masters are covered before they are hit with the sex frenzies sub/slaves.



_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 408
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/15/2005 7:31:45 PM   
Blaze2003


Posts: 4
Joined: 12/1/2004
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For me it is not the words I use as much as how I treat you / react to you. Someone saying SIR does not mean they respect you, it means they know the word SIR> after talking to someone and knowing them I may use it. Then again I have known some for years and never uttered SIR to them, yet RESPECT them greatly. Just as CAPPING the first letter, doesnt make you A MASTER/MISTRESS. It is more my English teacher would slap my hand for not doing it lol. TO me it is how you treat others and others treat you that shows the respect. I agree manners are not a MUST in todays world. As the mother of 5 I stress to my kids daily the "LITTLE" things. Like saying thank you Sir or YES, Maam. Then again I do not expect SIR/MAAM to be at the end of every sentence. RUDE is RUDE any way you look at it. Then again I do not want to be stroked when I say SIR, I want to be stroked when have known someone enough to realize he is a TRUE SIR< (stroked meaning his friendship etc.) Sometimes we OVER LOOK the simple things in life. Stressing on the BIG picture. Yet, the little things MAKE the big picture. The everyday details are the back drop to that PICTURE we all seek. For me I will continue to live my life day to day. If a "SIR" comes out .....great if not..... does not mean I was rude. Then again I say all the time " SUBMISSIVE to ONE not to ALL" I was told that was RUDE> everyone has different outlooks/ does not make mine WRONG/ or his/hers right . Just makes the WORLD....... worth living and debating lol

Just my view.......

(in reply to SirSix72)
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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/15/2005 8:00:36 PM   
Tempestspet


Posts: 360
Joined: 1/13/2005
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It's also not always what you say, but how you say it, the expression you give with both facial and your body language. The sweetest things might be said, but if done in an abrasive, or rude manner.... it lost any and all effect and/or intention you may have had.

I think that might be more the point many have made here. I stick up for myself, without fail. I look out for Master property, that's my "job". However I do it with class, and smoothly enough (the words are obviously lacking in me right now...smiles...) that they often don't know til they think back later...that they'd been insulted. *This is just an example.*

I'm not speaking to anyone in particular either, simply thinking more on all past posts. So, as I've said before I welcome discussion on anything I've said. But if any part of this tweeks a nerve, or makes you jump. Don't jump on me, think about why it affects you...

Tempest's pet
jennifer

(in reply to Blaze2003)
Profile   Post #: 410
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/15/2005 10:34:53 PM   
redheadedfire4u


Posts: 104
Joined: 11/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

not sex frenzies...lol.its diet and exercise for the good of mankind


quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Heads out to start selling owners of lusty sub/slaves, Health Insurance, Life Insurance, Hospital Insurance and a Funeral Plan; to help make sure that the Masters are covered before they are hit with the sex frenzies sub/slaves.




hmmm agree not sex frenzies, but good health and well being lol .... must keep in tip top form and look after what is His, I am only trying to be a thoughtful and considerate girl in this endeavour, honest and sincere really IronBear ... no thoughts of my own insignificant pleasure at all (wink wink) lol

warm smiles to all from one of those lusty subs lol

_____________________________

Driver1961's girl "wild child" and loving sister to His angel

(in reply to fyreredsub)
Profile   Post #: 411
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/17/2005 6:31:05 AM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
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Politeness doesn't require addressing someone as Sir or Master, and to do so implies subservience to him. A dom doesn't have the right to expect such subservience from any sub except his own.

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 412
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/27/2005 11:49:47 AM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline
Tal,

I agree with you Blaze but the fact of the matter is that so many think that just because they don't have a relationship with you then they can be so rude as to say "your not my Dom" there for I don't have to respect you. I couldn't care what you called me, I only ask that you have manners when approaching me in conversation. I see many people being generally rude to others because they aren't thier Dom/Master/Mistress. Check it out in chat sometime. In my personal opinion being called Master/Sir dosen't mean that you have a relationship with that particular person. I think that we all owe each other a token of respect no matter if it is BDSM/Gorean, swinging or any other alternative lifestyle. I thought that the point of living an alternative lifestyle was to be more open and receptive to new things that aren't mainstream. If I am wrong then please explain. I think that many people mistook what this thread was about and only was thinking that I demanded that all should be at my feet. I must admit it would be entertaining but unrealistic and very stupid of me to try it anyways.

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to Blaze2003)
Profile   Post #: 413
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/27/2005 12:27:40 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Heads out to start selling owners of lusty sub/slaves, Health Insurance, Life Insurance, Hospital Insurance and a Funeral Plan; to help make sure that the Masters are covered before they are hit with the sex frenzies sub/slaves.

IronBear


LMAO...i'll need a more personal consultation.

candystripper

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 414
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/27/2005 2:53:55 PM   
dstar


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

Im not smarter than any other Dominant in this lifestyle or am I smarter than any bottom/sub/slave but regardless I am the authority figure within the lifestyle.



No. You aren't.

I can say that with absolute assurance because, just like the 'Scene', there _is_ no one 'Lifestyle'. There are multiple, sometimes overlapping lifestyles.

In the 'Gorean Lifestyle', you may well be an authority figure to any slave; that's fine, because anyone in that lifestyle has chosen to accept that protocol.

In my lifestyle, however, you have no more authority than J. Random. Wanker walking down the street, because I have _not_ chosen to accept that protocol. I'm submissive to my wife and no one else, and no one else gets the slightest smidgen of respect from me based on their orientation. You get the respect due to any human being, unless and until you do something to lose it. The fact that you chose to life your life as a Gorean does not mean that I am bound by yoru protocols, just as I don't expect you or your submissive to be bound by _our_ protocols (not that we have much; protocol is something that never tripped our trigger, so we never bothered. The important bit is that I'm hers and she knows it).

If someone insists that I call them 'Master Foo', I'll just smile and nod and continue to call them Foo. If I gave them the same respect I give Vel, she'd be pissed. If they insisted on it, she'd be pissed at them. (And, just for the record, if someone had tried it with our ex-girlfriend, she'd probably have taken them off at the knees.)

Shalon Wood

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 415
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/27/2005 4:03:28 PM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

Tal,

I agree with you Blaze but the fact of the matter is that so many think that just because they don't have a relationship with you then they can be so rude as to say "your not my Dom" there for I don't have to respect you. I couldn't care what you called me, I only ask that you have manners when approaching me in conversation. I see many people being generally rude to others because they aren't thier Dom/Master/Mistress. Check it out in chat sometime. In my personal opinion being called Master/Sir dosen't mean that you have a relationship with that particular person. I think that we all owe each other a token of respect no matter if it is BDSM/Gorean, swinging or any other alternative lifestyle. I thought that the point of living an alternative lifestyle was to be more open and receptive to new things that aren't mainstream. If I am wrong then please explain. I think that many people mistook what this thread was about and only was thinking that I demanded that all should be at my feet. I must admit it would be entertaining but unrealistic and very stupid of me to try it anyways.

Master Six



It's been explained to you, many times in many threads by many different people, that following differential protocol and being polite are two different things.

I am *always* perfectly polite to *everyone* (unless I know and like them *really* well, then my lack of politeness is more an endearment than politeness would be) - but I am polite to everyone in the *same* way, regardless of preferred relational role.

That means that LordMasterTomcat receives a polite "Tomcat, good to see you. How are you today?", and slavepussywillow gets a "Pussywillow, good to see you. How are you today?"

Both polite. No honorifics. No differential treatment.

If LordMasterTomcat isn't impressed with my politeness, too bad - it's all he's getting. If he presses the issue, you're damned right I'm going to let him know - politely - that he has no say in my behavior.

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 416
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/27/2005 5:23:27 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

This is something else im trying to gather and understanding on........the your not my Dom syndrome.......I often wonder where this came from and why........I can understand that this is something that has becomed earned to be called in time with anyone...but what I dont see is the harm in calling someone Sir or Master......can you not be polite and get your point across without being rude by saying your not my Dom therefore I owe you no respect..I can see where there are many men and women are trtying to convey something they arent by the on your knees bitch thing.........I can see being polite to anyone would get you much further than immedialty responding with the phrase that you arent my Dom..............I would beat bella black and blue if she wasnt cordial to those that arent free and address them properly......I already see those saying there is another high protocol droid bantering about that everyone should refer to him as some authority figure.........I have also seen lots of other threads get smashed into the ground with this approach to a sub/slave having manners.......just wanted everyone else's take on this situation I see alot in the chatrooms and out of them........

Master Six



I can only relate from my personal experience on this issue. I personally have never had such attitude/manner or reaction directed to me in my years in the lifestyle. I have however witnessed such a reaction from submissives and/or slaves directed at others. These situations have always been occasions when the “apparent” dominant person grossly overstepped the norms of proper behavior. I suggest that if one has ever encountered this apparent “Syndrome” they first and foremost consider their own specific behaviors and beliefs that they are projecting upon others.

I have spent the past hour reading the posts in this thread… and right now… I am not sure why I did it. I have avoided this thread mainly since I personally found the whole concept of the “Syndrome” issue to be ridiculous and even simple. I equate this whole “Syndrome” concept to be no better or worse than “apparent” Dominants shouting foul “Your Topping from the Bottom”!

However, after reading the post of 21 pages, there are a lot of comments that came out that have importance and validity. I suspect most what I will contribute will have been stated by some of the more thoughtful and considered posts, but I choose to state it in my own manner and possibly present it from a different perspective than what has been shared thus far.

Manners, Etiquette, Protocol, Polite, Courtesy and Respectful. When we consider words such is as these; they are a reflection of our efforts to establish appropriate behaviors betweens individuals to have effective and even enjoyable interactions of various types. In effect the beliefs, values that such words bring are the guidelines to our behaviors in interacting with others and how we expect them to interact with ourselves.

A few posts have indicated a perceived opinion that manners of our young have changed. It was stated that they no longer address others as Sir or Ma’am. And a norm of society’s behavior has gone. Everyone will have different opinion on if this was a good thing or not. But, let’s not forget, in the Victorian age… Everyone addressed others as Sir or Ma’am, Mr. or Mrs.… even Master or Mistress was used. These titles were common norms of behavior in its day. I am not here to state that this is good or bad, but to point out that norms of behavior in how we interact in society will change over time.

A second point is that this norm of behavior was reflective in the Western society and not necessarily a universal behavior through out the world. In other words, appropriate context leads too much of the expected norms of behavior that is generated. Within the Gorean context, many expected behaviors of interaction are universally expected in that context, but not expected outside that context. In fact the narrower you move the context… from Human Race down to your individual family… the interaction behaviors expected become more and more refined and specific.

In ages past and even today, it is a challenge and struggle for individuals to understand and learn the appropriate behaviors in the particular context they find themselves in. We in this lifestyle often hear the term training… much of it involves the Dom teaching a sub the expect behaviors, the context being their specific relationship. I chuckled when JW shared is example of the well trained slave. But, it is a lifestyle example of a person unable to understand they are in a different context and different behaviors are required.
The important thing to note is much of the expected behaviors can be vastly different within various relationships and none are particular better just different! I would also note that there is an array of articles, magazines, books, etc that state the appropriate norms and behaviors in various contexts. These written works can at times be similar and often times they can be equally conflicting.

Our choices of lifestyle are a reflection of our beliefs and value systems. These beliefs and value system are often the very things that bind us into the various specific norms of behavior. My slaves bind themselves to me because we share or are compatible to the greatest degree in our values and beliefs. As I venture out from my individual family… the similarity of values and beliefs will become less and less… and so will the expect norms of behavior as I broaden the context of my relationships.

It is also important to consider that the labels that we apply to specific definitions will vary from person to person. And again expected behavior will various labels and definitions will be different from person to person. Some use the term to Show Respect… while I use the term Polite Behavior. For me Respect goes hand in hand with trust… Trust is earned… if you haven’t earned trust you will not earn respect and gain the respect that comes with it. My girls will not address anyone as Sir or Ma’am unless they have earned trust and thus my respect! This is a low level behavior that is associated with someone earning a certain degree of trust and respect from myself. As trust and respect is gained… the behavior required and/or demonstrated by myself and my slaves will become more intense… IE… Hugs given and received for the closer friends.

Now polite behavior is another thing all together from Respectful behavior. However, what I consider to be the Respectful behavior or polite behavior will be different than another, But similar when I share the same context with another. It is also important to note that the different contexts can share similar behaviors, but not share the intent of giving respect or even being polite. An example would be when I enjoy a fine dining experience and will often if not always hear the waiter address me as Sir. The behavior in the given context is actually a polite behavior and not a behavior that confers any specific amount of Respect or Trust upon me. A significant difference when such behavior is demonstrated a submissive, different context but same behavior inferring different intent.

Within the broadest context of this BDSM lifestyle, Sir/Ma’am Master/Mistress etc is usually reserved to denote a Respectful behavior and is not uncommonly reserved for a sub/slaves particular owner and thus does confer and/or recognition of Ownership in that context. However, this does not automatically reflect ownership in all cases… more often than not it is a reflection of Trust and Respect Earned Direct or indirectly that subs/slave confers! Therefore it is not surprising that many become highly insulted when individual attempt to dictate that they behave manner that confers more than they deem the person worthy of.

Within my house.. my slaves address me in a manner that they address no one else as... it reflects , polite behavior, respectful behavior as well as Ownership "My Lord". They will address those that have earned respect/trust with behavior that is polite and respectful IE SIR/Ma'am. And they will demonstrated Polite behavior by acknowledge you by your name.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 417
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/27/2005 5:42:16 PM   
Wolf1020


Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline
Soooo since I don't feel like reading 21 pages I will just answer the original post and not respond to whatever else is going out about sex vegetables and loosing weight lol.

I don't expect to be called master or sir on our first meeting any more then I expect a sub to kneel on our first meeting. What I do expect is that someone is polite. You don't have to worship me but a little politeness/respect to another human being is always nice. Not simply because I am a Dom and you a sub, but because we are both human beings if you are going to bother responding to or acknowledging me, being polite and respectful about it are what I expect. More or less can come as we get to know each other and it is determined that more or less is deserved. But some people are flat out rude from the word hello.

As to why some subs have the "you aren't my master" complex. I attribute that to backlash. A lot of wannabe guys wanting to get laid or get a kick out of it and telling a submissive "kneel bitch" etc right out of the gate simply because she is a sub and he decides to call himself a Dom. Can I blame them? No not really. Does it get annoying? Depends on how they go about it sometimes yes sometimes no.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 418
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/27/2005 6:00:11 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
Gawd, the thread that would not die...and here i am, aggravating the situation, LMAO. i think many people have explained to You, Master Six or Sir Six or Six or whatever that people who come together voluntarially will use good manners unless they have a masocistic need to be insulted.

You keep assserting that You -- interestingly enough, just You -- have suffered rude and insulting behavior from submissives and slaves whom You do not know. Others have pointed out that You might want to check Yourself to see if Your own manners are somehow lacking. If every time You put on Your dress shoes, Your feet hurt, perhaps the shoes are too small for Your feet. When a pattern of human conduct keeps repeating in Your life, a wise Man asks himself "how am i contributing to this?".

You also find a pattern of conduct acceptable as polite everywhere else -- the use of first names amoung adults -- to be insulting. Several articulate people have exlained to You that this is Just How It Is and To Get Over It...yet You keep posting that You are mystified. Frankly, after so many people have tried to explain it, if You truely do not understand, i suggest You Just Accept That is The Way It Is and move on to what surely must be more important matters. For example, You could start a thread and tell us about Your wedding plans...i'd be interested in how the ceremony, etc., is being planned.

It IS possible that if a woman has just been insulted and another Man approaches too quickly, He too will get a tongue-lashing...but that is rare. Most women -- most adults -- are in better control of their conduct.

By all means, let's keep this thread going. i invite submissives and slaves to add posts regarding the rude conduct they have experienced with Men. That should be good for another 20 pages.

Do You also care about that issue, Six?

candystripper

(in reply to Wolf1020)
Profile   Post #: 419
RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 11/27/2005 9:47:11 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

This is something else im trying to gather and understanding on........the your not my Dom syndrome.......I often wonder where this came from and why........I can understand that this is something that has becomed earned to be called in time with anyone...but what I dont see is the harm in calling someone Sir or Master......can you not be polite and get your point across without being rude by saying your not my Dom therefore I owe you no respect..I can see where there are many men and women are trtying to convey something they arent by the on your knees bitch thing.........I can see being polite to anyone would get you much further than immedialty responding with the phrase that you arent my Dom..............I would beat bella black and blue if she wasnt cordial to those that arent free and address them properly......I already see those saying there is another high protocol droid bantering about that everyone should refer to him as some authority figure.........I have also seen lots of other threads get smashed into the ground with this approach to a sub/slave having manners.......just wanted everyone else's take on this situation I see alot in the chatrooms and out of them........

Master Six



Master Six,

Would like to take this time to say thank you. I've been on this site just barely over a week. And upon entering this site, trying to show one respect, caused a big blow up on my forum post. all the way to the point of getting it removed by Collarme. When all the question asked, was Crossing The Line of Disrespecting. I got quite a few good responses over the fact, that due to the mere fact, he wasn't my Master, i owed him nothing. Not even respect. I found this very disturbing. Especially when I was always taught, I'm not so much showing respect to the person, as much as I am the title itself. So i have this posted in my journal on my profile.



one really wonders... why it's so hard to understand, though someone will show you respect..... that they show the title you wear more respect. because respecting the title begins the journey of respecting the person that wears the such title of superiority.no one deserves total 100% obediance when one decides to seek out a sub to chat. though it's nice to see that the one you are chatting with shows you respect, to confuse it with obediance, is just down right desperation, power hungry, and just a big turn off for most. (not all i'm sure, can't speak for everyone here)but i know some do this to see if the one they are chatting with will show true colors quickly too. because we all do surely sooner or later get tired of the fakes. either it be the Doms or the subs.

So in short, thank you for pointing out more on showing respect. Not obediance, has been lost to alot and really, it needs to come back. Either it be Dom or sub, no matter the title one wears, respect to the stangers, the unknowns, are gone.

(in reply to SirSix72)
Profile   Post #: 420
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