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RE: Would you be offended? - 5/25/2008 6:37:30 PM   
laura2161


Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
Not that I wouldn't mess with her mind; that rather than pay for petrol she should buy me a more economical NEW car instead....  ;-)
 
Focus.


Haha. You're bad.


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'I am not infantile, You StinkyButt Poophead!'

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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Would you be offended? - 5/25/2008 7:44:05 PM   
lalbobbilynn


Posts: 483
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		This topic first came up btwn my Sir and i after He came to see me the first three times, being He comes from Canada. On a dinner date within that time frame, i came right to the point and respectfully insisted that i pay for dinner.
As Linxx stated, if i do not meet, or extend an invite to meet One half way, i feel like a moocher!
IMHO is not about D/s, is about the mutual desire to be with one another. i have given my Sir gas money (He has never asked, nor does he need it, nevertheless, i wish Him to know i am aware that gas prices are what they are). On the flip to that, my Sir has paid for gas/food/lodging just SO i(we) could go to Virginia to see my UM's(my ex as well! Was odd to see my Sir chatting up my ex!! ), and just these past two weekends my Sir gave me gas/toll/sitter money so i was able to venture to Canada.
i will advise You against asking to many times if You can reimburse for such an offer!!  
b.~

(in reply to laura2161)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Would you be offended? - 5/26/2008 10:27:10 AM   
AMaster


Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		I see nothing wrong with offering.  He does not have to accept.


Edited for spelling..............  #$%$@!&*(^%$$$###  defective keyboard!!!!!!!!

< Message edited by AMaster -- 5/26/2008 10:32:33 AM >

(in reply to pissdoll)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Would you be offended? - 5/26/2008 11:20:56 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

He lives a hour away. and He does all the traveling and i cant move to Him bc of my son. its very frustrating to say the very least. its not easy to have a long distant relationship


angel,

truely you jest! Nope I guess not; but only one hour away!
Hell I used to drive more than that one way just to go to work. I will make a leap of faith you and assume that your give him pleasure; so for my money his travel is just a minor cost of being dominant.

CP

(in reply to angelwithhonor)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Would you be offended? - 5/26/2008 11:22:42 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

However, he is in an hour an half away and with the gas prices as they are that gets expensive really fast. I have to stay local (in town) because of my UMs


nika,

In a word, no I would not be ofended nor would I take it.

CP

(in reply to SweetNika)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Would you be offended? - 5/26/2008 7:17:59 PM   
Vigilantejustice


Posts: 106
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetNika

Good evening,
I am hoping to get the reaction from some Dominant male types. I have meet a man, a dom from this site who I truly enjoy intellectually and physically. However, he is in an hour an half away and with the gas prices as they are that gets expensive really fast. I have to stay local (in town) because of my UMs so he is doing the traveling, I want to offer to help pay for the gas when he comes down to see me but I am not sure how it will be taken. How would you as a dom take it if a sub you were seeing offered this? Would you be offended? Why or why not?

Thanks in advance for the imput.

Blessed be,
Nika


I've played both sides of this equation (the joys of switchdom!) so I may have some pertinent advice.

"Wow, those gas prices are heinous! I really love spending time with you, and I know it can be a strain to have to come all this way to be with me. Is there anything I can do to help, or would you prefer I just make you a nice home-cooked meal for when you roll into town? Anything I can do to be able to see you more often, my adored dominant person, is no trouble!"

Jeez, men are easy sometimes, lol. But it works. No bruised egos (see how you made it about how he's so awesome?) and he has a polite out with dinner!

-Corinne
House Vigilante
Wishes her Papa Bear was only an hour and a half away, instead of in Afghanistan.

_____________________________

“Love begets love. This torment is my joy.”
"Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries."
"[Your work] is carved out of agony as a statue is carved out of marble." -All by Theodore Roethke

(in reply to SweetNika)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Would you be offended? - 5/26/2008 9:22:54 PM   
Bear1956


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/25/2005
Status: offline 		Make an offer, even insist, cause if you have not noticed that the world is changing then something is wrong. Everything is going up, Gas, Home Heating, electric, cable, being on line.  The only thing that is not going up is the wages. Helping him to come and see you is not something to be scared of. In this changing world, it takes two incomes to live.  Unless he is the CEO of some company and has an endless bank account of money. He will either accept or turn you down.  Not all jobs out there pay big bucks, so a little help means a lot.  The sub I am seeing lives a half hour away, we share driving, she knows and understands that money is tight on her end and mine, but we still manage. 

(in reply to nwcutie102)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Would you be offended? - 5/27/2008 3:23:28 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		So long as it was done respectfully, I would probably appreciate the offer but if I couldn't afford the trip I wouldn't be making it so I would refuse. But the offer would be seen that My effort wasn't being taken for granted.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to SweetNika)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Would you be offended? - 5/27/2008 6:45:31 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		I would not have a problem with the offer, I would turn you down but would take it in the spirit offered.  If I could not afford it I would not come as often.

Mike

(in reply to pissdoll)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Would you be offended? - 5/27/2008 6:49:31 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetNika

I spoke with him last night and asked  him about sharing the cost of the gas he said he wasn't offended that I offered, that it showed that I wanted to see him more often but he couldnt take it from me. He said he was a dinosaur in the aspect. 
 
I want to thank everyone again for their imput.
 
Blessed be,
Nika


Nika, I can't think of a better outcome.  You told him that you like to see him and want to help out.  He flat out told you how he felt about it and clearly was flattered.  And he shared with you how he felt.

I'm glad it went so well. 


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SweetNika)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Would you be offended? - 5/27/2008 9:07:11 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetNika

How would you as a dom take it if a sub you were seeing offered this? Would you be offended? Why or why not?

I'd think it was a very thoughtful gesture.  I'd turn it down, but I wouldn't be the least bit offended by it.  Actually, I'd be pleased by the consideration shown

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to SweetNika)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Would you be offended? - 5/27/2008 9:23:25 PM   
bookworm966


Posts: 45
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		Personally knowing the Dom to whom nika refers, and knowing that he will drive 6 hours just to spend an overnight, he feels like if he cant afford to spend the money he wont make the trip.  He doesnt find it offensive exactly to accept money but he feels it lessens his own conception of being able to take care of everything.  With him, you dont offer to pay for dinner, you dont offer to split the cost of the hotel, you dont offer to buy gas.  You smile and say 'thank you'.  And nika, if he is a dinosaur, he is full roaring T Rex.  *grin*

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When I have a little money, I buy books. If I have any left, I buy food and clothes. Erasmus

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Would you be offended? - 5/28/2008 4:52:25 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetNika

Good evening,
I am hoping to get the reaction from some Dominant male types. I have meet a man, a dom from this site who I truly enjoy intellectually and physically. However, he is in an hour an half away and with the gas prices as they are that gets expensive really fast. I have to stay local (in town) because of my UMs so he is doing the traveling, I want to offer to help pay for the gas when he comes down to see me but I am not sure how it will be taken. How would you as a dom take it if a sub you were seeing offered this? Would you be offended? Why or why not?
 
Thanks in advance for the imput.
 
Blessed be,
Nika


I've always been the one to travel to the dom and I always went 50/50 on the room.  I would have declined any offer of gas money, but would not have been offended by the offer and splitting the room just seems logical and fair. 

_____________________________



(in reply to SweetNika)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Would you be offended? - 5/30/2008 9:08:43 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Aileen. How about if I just put the back seat down??

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Would you be offended? - 5/30/2008 1:49:46 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline 		No. I'd be thinking.......hmmmmm, this bitch has a heart of gold.......milk it.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to SweetNika)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Would you be offended? - 5/30/2008 1:57:10 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I've always been the one to travel to the dom and I always went 50/50 on the room. 



You and I are made for this sort of venture, Aileen.......

On arrival, I'll charge you an import tariff......and for rent, water, electricity, heating, oxygen, use of cutlery.......roughly £900 for 2 weeks.....and when you leave I will invoice you without hesitation in the event you indulge yourself beyond your water quota.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 56
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