RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (Full Version)

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JohnWarren -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/26/2008 5:27:48 PM)

Considering how many STD's there are out there, I don't depend on test results. In all sexual contact, I behave as if my partner was infected and take precautions accordingly.   With a little imagination, many of these precautions can be as erotic as any other form of foreplay



MladyHathor -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/26/2008 7:17:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

IMHO Yes its reasonable and NO I would not enter into a relationship where someone refused.


MLady, I think some women are too timid or too trusting, to ask for recent test results.

Well I am one who is not---as a Dominant, I see it My responsibility to make sure all aspects are addressed, this is a huge one--and I do.
 



Tantriqu -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/26/2008 7:29:17 PM)

Yup.

If they refuse get tested, it means they don't care about Me and My health, and they're stubborn, stupid and ignorant, so they're dismissed. 
If they complain they don't want a blood and urine test, and if they're still complaining after I explain what a pap test is, they're dismissed.
Likewise, if they can't be abstinent for a few months after their last partner, they likely can't be monogamous, and they're dismissed.
But rather My buzz is killed than Me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

After reading the thread about "How do you find out?", I decided to start a similar one.
I have not been in a serious or sexual relationship for a LONG time.
 
That said {or admitted}[;)], I have decided that prior to entering  a serious relationship, AND before any bodily fluids or sexual activities take place, I want BOTH of us to be tested for
any sexually transmitted diseases.  We can then share and exchange the results with each other.
Of course I realize that certain diseases have a latency period, but recent and current testing is about the best that anyone can do.
 
I would hope that my partner would be honest and forthright about his medical condition, but I think it is
only fair for both of us to have recent testing and share the results.
 
Does anyone else operate this way?  I think it is also prudent and wise for a submissive to request this of a Dominant.  Requesting current testing should be fair to request on both sides of the kneel. 
Would you still enter into a serious/sexual relationship with someone that REFUSED to obtain current up to date test results? { I don't want to see results from last year or 4 years ago}
 
Idea's and comments welcome.



sublibrarian -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/26/2008 7:42:14 PM)

I'm with LA here. I'm a slut and one of my kinks is having sex with strangers. I simply assume they could have anything and everything and I'm unwavering in my use of safer sex. I get things to the level of "acceptable risk" and go from there. I accept that there's some risk involved in having sex with anyone. Many STIs can be treated, or are minor, and the truly life threatening ones (HIV, hepatitis) are rarely passed along with consistent condom use. Some STIs won't show up on tests (or did you know that usually they won't test you for herpes unless you've been exposed? Many people who have been "tested for everything" don't know that the panel most likely didn't include a herpes test.) Life has risks. I accept that STIs are a risk of the life I lead. I take reasonable precautions. Of course, there's nothing wrong with people who want their partners to be tested, but personally I think there's too much paranoia about STIs. Infectious diseases are a part of being human.




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/26/2008 8:12:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
I just HOPE that people will not be too shy or afraid to ask a new or existing partner to be tested, JUST because they are too scared or timid to request testing.

To me that is simply part and parcel of the responsibility of having an active sex life.  However, many people do not deal well with responsibility.



RealSub58 -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/26/2008 8:31:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

IMHO Yes its reasonable and NO I would not enter into a relationship where someone refused.


MLady, I think some women are too timid or too trusting, to ask for recent test results.


and pathetically, too niave or stupid.  [8|]

Yes yes yes.  I found out I had a serious heart condition about 6 months before I met my Sir. He had no reservations in taking me.  Now we find out he is in need of a serious eye surgery. 
When you get to be our age, I think one needs to seriously consider long term chronic health issues. 



everhope -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/26/2008 9:57:03 PM)

no one mentioned HPV.there are more than 100 types of HPV. most strains are harmless to a healthy immune system.certain strains can cause abnormal cells in the lining of the cervix that may turn into cancer. . there is no blood test to find out if you have been infected...some cause genital warts. most strains have no symptoms. men can carry HPV also without symptoms. the only way to find out is with an irregular pap smear. common treatment of an abnormal papsmear is the freezing of the cervix to stop any further abnormal cell growth.

estimates by CDC are 50% of sexually active people will catch HPV during their lifetime.
smart sex is good....there are risks in everything we do....i don't want to stop enjoying my life because of fear i may contract something....i'll just stay smart about it.

personally, i test every year, but then i am also in profession where i am exposed constantly to blood, urine and feces. i have been vaccinated against HepB and i include HepC in my yearly blood tests.

educate yourself  that is your best defense.



wwwkevinww -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/26/2008 11:19:15 PM)

Bottom Line is that you never know if your perfectly safe if you start a relationship of any sexual nature.  Based on what cheaters report: men cheat about 50% of the time and women vaguely 33%, although these statistics were based on only those who would admit to it.

Basically I'm very paranoid of catching anything and if you are involved with anyone you are trusting that they will be responsible.  The more people you sleep with, the more risk of exposing yourself to something you don't want.  You really shouldn't be with anyone you aren't in love with, because you're risking your very life being sexual with someone.
. 
I don't want to sound all doom and gloom, but new AIDS cases happen every day as those with the infection and don't know it spread it.....Supposedly AIDS isn't even the worst of the STD's out there.....



MzMia -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/27/2008 4:59:04 AM)

A lot of this boils down to personal freedom.
 
We are all free to do what we want, with whom we want and how we want.
 
We are also free to assume personal responsibilities for our actions as adults.
 
Then we are all free to deal with the consequences of our actions.  
 
I realize that even with testing, there are still risks, but I feel good for at least trying
to protect myself.

It is good to start or see a thread like this pop up from time to time.
 
Thanks for the replies. [;)]



edgepassion -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/27/2008 5:04:45 AM)

I’m glad people are talking about this but frankly, I find it almost unbelievable that we need to…..  geezus, talk about a no-brainer....



camille65 -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/27/2008 7:26:04 AM)

Well the last time I was out dating and meeting guys it was the early 1980's. Asking about STD or AIDS really wasn't a huge issue like it is today. Sex was rampant and only birth control was the big worry. That is part of the problem I have, literally no experience in the current time of deadly sex. I wouldn't know 'when' to ask or even really how to ask. Do you ask when it goes beyond kissing? At the first dinner out? It is a foreign bit of territory for me. I'm soooo glad that I'm owned and don't have to deal with it all.



pettingdragons -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/27/2008 7:42:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

To me that is simply part and parcel of the responsibility of having an active sex life.  However, many people do not deal well with responsibility.


This is an acurate statment...one i totally agrees with :0 



gypsygrl -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/28/2008 11:39:26 AM)

Ok, I've gotta rant.

I've been exploring this stuff for 5 or 6 years now, and I'm stunned by how much resistance there is to practicing safer sex.  To me, its a no brainer to use condoms and I can't believe the resistance I come across.  I provide the condoms (never leave the important stuff to chance) and still get the arguments and whining.  This is one area where I don't have any sympathy and its starting to become a real turn off. 

Part of safer sex is making sure your disease free and stay that way.  I do not think its at all unreasonable to expect a partner to get an std test before thinking about starting a new relationship.  At worst, getting tested is a minor inconvenience and can be done for free via a public health service.  There is absolutely no good reason for not getting tested. 



kiwisub12 -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/28/2008 2:54:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublibrarian

Infectious diseases are a part of being human.





So is dying , and i would like to put that off as long as possible........lol.
For me, safe sex is also an economic decision - i actually do have health insurance, but have a variable co-pay for the prescription part, so if i came down  with aids, or hep c i would be in the frying pan.  I couldn't afford the drugs needed, or the liver transplant or what ever else i might need. Its cheaper to get a test.

of course , having said that, i have to confess that when i met Sir, i was coming out of a ten year celibate streak, and a thirteen year marriage before that, so i was ok, and i didn't think about him at all. Didn't even enter my head - i was too  busy worrying that he would be repulsed my my body or my mind or i would do something that made him send me away.   .... twenty-three years out of the dating scene will do strange things to you - lol.

Of course now, i  would be thinking a little clearer, so would have to ask for written documentation.  but, please goddess i won't have to worry about that for at least 30 years.



SmokingGun82 -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/28/2008 7:08:00 PM)

I would happily sleep with someone not knowing their status because, as others have said, I assume everyone has everything you could possibly catch. As far as having unprotected sex with someone... I need clean test results. And trust. Probably equally important, actually...

But I get tested fairly often anyway. Just another item to check off my "To Do" list every few months.



sinstech -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/29/2008 12:18:02 AM)

Am a newbie to this lifestyle. Personally feel that if two people are having sex then both should be comfortable and if that means one or both want the test then it should be viewed as a reasonable request. Was intrigued by Camille65 statement that she would be too shy or uncomfortable bring it up and it got me thinking. Would it be the responisibilty of a dominant to bring it up and see if the submissive would want or need the test taken for their own comfort level. The reason I ask this, Isn't the Dom respoinsible for the safety and well being of their sub?



MzMia -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/29/2008 4:50:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sinstech

Am a newbie to this lifestyle. Personally feel that if two people are having sex then both should be comfortable and if that means one or both want the test then it should be viewed as a reasonable request. Was intrigued by Camille65 statement that she would be too shy or uncomfortable bring it up and it got me thinking. Would it be the responisibilty of a dominant to bring it up and see if the submissive would want or need the test taken for their own comfort level. The reason I ask this, Isn't the Dom respoinsible for the safety and well being of their sub?


Many women are "too shy" to ask their partners for testing. 
I see this all the time in the vanilla world, also.
Considering the range of std's in the world, it is a sad and true fact.



MissEnchanted -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/29/2008 6:23:48 AM)

MzMia,

I get testing done before and would not continue to see anyone who refused to get a current test.

It is our right and of course a responsibility to take care of our own health.

To anyone who's afraid to ask: be assertive!

ME



sublibrarian -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/31/2008 1:23:09 AM)

Written documentation isn't perfect. I use condoms so I can prevent getting HIV or hepatitis. Just because someone has had a clean test doesn't mean they don't have anything. And testing regularly doesn't prevent. People seem to forget that.



taintedgypsy -> RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! (5/31/2008 2:49:23 AM)

I am on the side of sexual freedom and love the slutty experiences that life sometimes offers ... However if it is not wrapped appropriately it is not coming near me and no shyness about it ... safe sex is the best option to truely enjoy what life has to offer and I get tested regularly just in case as well. Those words "I do not usually do this" I think most people have been guilty of neglecting safe sex practices at some point where passion/lust have over ruled common sense but you have to worry who else they have said these words to ... it just is not worth it ... for one act you risk your enjoyment of life in the future and in extremes give up your future and die, is any sex really worth that sort of cost? As for trust sheesh I do not even trust myself let alone someone else, life just offers to many delectable opportunities for me to say absolutely I will not so how the hell can I think that someone else can. I have met couples who can but hey I am to much of a wild thing and no way am I willing to settle down so I will just keep on using safe sex and getting tested regularly but for those who do feel differently and want a monogomous relationship if the significant other refuses to get tested my advice is run screaming in the other direction.

just my two cents worth 



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