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RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 5:27:48 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

Considering how many STD's there are out there, I don't depend on test results. In all sexual contact, I behave as if my partner was infected and take precautions accordingly. With a little imagination, many of these precautions can be as erotic as any other form of foreplay

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(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 21

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 7:17:49 PM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

IMHO Yes its reasonable and NO I would not enter into a relationship where someone refused.

MLady, I think some women are too timid or too trusting, to ask for recent test results.

Well I am one who is not---as a Dominant, I see it My responsibility to make sure all aspects are addressed, this is a huge one--and I do.

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 22

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 7:29:17 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Yup.

If they refuse get tested, it means they don't care about Me and My health, and they're stubborn, stupid and ignorant, so they're dismissed.
If they complain they don't want a blood and urine test, and if they're still complaining after I explain what a pap test is, they're dismissed.
Likewise, if they can't be abstinent for a few months after their last partner, they likely can't be monogamous, and they're dismissed.
But rather My buzz is killed than Me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

After reading the thread about "How do you find out?", I decided to start a similar one.
I have not been in a serious or sexual relationship for a LONG time.

That said {or admitted}, I have decided that prior to entering a serious relationship, AND before any bodily fluids or sexual activities take place, I want BOTH of us to be tested for
any sexually transmitted diseases. We can then share and exchange the results with each other.
Of course I realize that certain diseases have a latency period, but recent and current testing is about the best that anyone can do.

I would hope that my partner would be honest and forthright about his medical condition, but I think it is
only fair for both of us to have recent testing and share the results.

Does anyone else operate this way? I think it is also prudent and wise for a submissive to request this of a Dominant. Requesting current testing should be fair to request on both sides of the kneel.
Would you still enter into a serious/sexual relationship with someone that REFUSED to obtain current up to date test results? { I don't want to see results from last year or 4 years ago}

Idea's and comments welcome.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 23

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 7:42:14 PM

sublibrarian

Posts: 96
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

I'm with LA here. I'm a slut and one of my kinks is having sex with strangers. I simply assume they could have anything and everything and I'm unwavering in my use of safer sex. I get things to the level of "acceptable risk" and go from there. I accept that there's some risk involved in having sex with anyone. Many STIs can be treated, or are minor, and the truly life threatening ones (HIV, hepatitis) are rarely passed along with consistent condom use. Some STIs won't show up on tests (or did you know that usually they won't test you for herpes unless you've been exposed? Many people who have been "tested for everything" don't know that the panel most likely didn't include a herpes test.) Life has risks. I accept that STIs are a risk of the life I lead. I take reasonable precautions. Of course, there's nothing wrong with people who want their partners to be tested, but personally I think there's too much paranoia about STIs. Infectious diseases are a part of being human.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 24

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 8:12:11 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
I just HOPE that people will not be too shy or afraid to ask a new or existing partner to be tested, JUST because they are too scared or timid to request testing.

To me that is simply part and parcel of the responsibility of having an active sex life. However, many people do not deal well with responsibility.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 25

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 8:31:42 PM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

IMHO Yes its reasonable and NO I would not enter into a relationship where someone refused.

MLady, I think some women are too timid or too trusting, to ask for recent test results.

and pathetically, too niave or stupid.

Yes yes yes. I found out I had a serious heart condition about 6 months before I met my Sir. He had no reservations in taking me. Now we find out he is in need of a serious eye surgery.
When you get to be our age, I think one needs to seriously consider long term chronic health issues.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 26

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 9:57:03 PM

everhope

Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline

no one mentioned HPV.there are more than 100 types of HPV. most strains are harmless to a healthy immune system.certain strains can cause abnormal cells in the lining of the cervix that may turn into cancer. . there is no blood test to find out if you have been infected...some cause genital warts. most strains have no symptoms. men can carry HPV also without symptoms. the only way to find out is with an irregular pap smear. common treatment of an abnormal papsmear is the freezing of the cervix to stop any further abnormal cell growth.

estimates by CDC are 50% of sexually active people will catch HPV during their lifetime.
smart sex is good....there are risks in everything we do....i don't want to stop enjoying my life because of fear i may contract something....i'll just stay smart about it.

personally, i test every year, but then i am also in profession where i am exposed constantly to blood, urine and feces. i have been vaccinated against HepB and i include HepC in my yearly blood tests.

educate yourself that is your best defense.

_____________________________

may we all find our bliss

Resident VWB

We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.

(in reply to RealSub58)

Post #: 27

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/26/2008 11:19:15 PM

wwwkevinww

Posts: 276
Joined: 7/15/2004
Status: offline

Bottom Line is that you never know if your perfectly safe if you start a relationship of any sexual nature. Based on what cheaters report: men cheat about 50% of the time and women vaguely 33%, although these statistics were based on only those who would admit to it.

Basically I'm very paranoid of catching anything and if you are involved with anyone you are trusting that they will be responsible. The more people you sleep with, the more risk of exposing yourself to something you don't want. You really shouldn't be with anyone you aren't in love with, because you're risking your very life being sexual with someone.
.
I don't want to sound all doom and gloom, but new AIDS cases happen every day as those with the infection and don't know it spread it.....Supposedly AIDS isn't even the worst of the STD's out there.....

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 28

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/27/2008 4:59:04 AM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

A lot of this boils down to personal freedom.

We are all free to do what we want, with whom we want and how we want.

We are also free to assume personal responsibilities for our actions as adults.

Then we are all free to deal with the consequences of our actions.

I realize that even with testing, there are still risks, but I feel good for at least trying
to protect myself.

It is good to start or see a thread like this pop up from time to time.

Thanks for the replies.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 5/27/2008 5:01:55 AM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to wwwkevinww)

Post #: 29

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/27/2008 5:04:45 AM

edgepassion

Posts: 67
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline

I’m glad people are talking about this but frankly, I find it almost unbelievable that we need to….. geezus, talk about a no-brainer....

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 30

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/27/2008 7:26:04 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

Well the last time I was out dating and meeting guys it was the early 1980's. Asking about STD or AIDS really wasn't a huge issue like it is today. Sex was rampant and only birth control was the big worry. That is part of the problem I have, literally no experience in the current time of deadly sex. I wouldn't know 'when' to ask or even really how to ask. Do you ask when it goes beyond kissing? At the first dinner out? It is a foreign bit of territory for me. I'm soooo glad that I'm owned and don't have to deal with it all.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to edgepassion)

Post #: 31

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/27/2008 7:42:20 AM

pettingdragons

Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

To me that is simply part and parcel of the responsibility of having an active sex life. However, many people do not deal well with responsibility.

This is an acurate statment...one i totally agrees with :0

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 32

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/28/2008 11:39:26 AM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

Ok, I've gotta rant.

I've been exploring this stuff for 5 or 6 years now, and I'm stunned by how much resistance there is to practicing safer sex. To me, its a no brainer to use condoms and I can't believe the resistance I come across. I provide the condoms (never leave the important stuff to chance) and still get the arguments and whining. This is one area where I don't have any sympathy and its starting to become a real turn off.

Part of safer sex is making sure your disease free and stay that way. I do not think its at all unreasonable to expect a partner to get an std test before thinking about starting a new relationship. At worst, getting tested is a minor inconvenience and can be done for free via a public health service. There is absolutely no good reason for not getting tested.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 33

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/28/2008 2:54:08 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublibrarian

Infectious diseases are a part of being human.

So is dying , and i would like to put that off as long as possible........lol.
For me, safe sex is also an economic decision - i actually do have health insurance, but have a variable co-pay for the prescription part, so if i came down with aids, or hep c i would be in the frying pan. I couldn't afford the drugs needed, or the liver transplant or what ever else i might need. Its cheaper to get a test.

of course , having said that, i have to confess that when i met Sir, i was coming out of a ten year celibate streak, and a thirteen year marriage before that, so i was ok, and i didn't think about him at all. Didn't even enter my head - i was too busy worrying that he would be repulsed my my body or my mind or i would do something that made him send me away. .... twenty-three years out of the dating scene will do strange things to you - lol.

Of course now, i would be thinking a little clearer, so would have to ask for written documentation. but, please goddess i won't have to worry about that for at least 30 years.

(in reply to sublibrarian)

Post #: 34

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/28/2008 7:08:00 PM

SmokingGun82

Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

I would happily sleep with someone not knowing their status because, as others have said, I assume everyone has everything you could possibly catch. As far as having unprotected sex with someone... I need clean test results. And trust. Probably equally important, actually...

But I get tested fairly often anyway. Just another item to check off my "To Do" list every few months.

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 35

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/29/2008 12:18:02 AM

sinstech

Posts: 8
Joined: 5/25/2008
Status: offline

Am a newbie to this lifestyle. Personally feel that if two people are having sex then both should be comfortable and if that means one or both want the test then it should be viewed as a reasonable request. Was intrigued by Camille65 statement that she would be too shy or uncomfortable bring it up and it got me thinking. Would it be the responisibilty of a dominant to bring it up and see if the submissive would want or need the test taken for their own comfort level. The reason I ask this, Isn't the Dom respoinsible for the safety and well being of their sub?

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 36

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/29/2008 4:50:28 AM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sinstech

Am a newbie to this lifestyle. Personally feel that if two people are having sex then both should be comfortable and if that means one or both want the test then it should be viewed as a reasonable request. Was intrigued by Camille65 statement that she would be too shy or uncomfortable bring it up and it got me thinking. Would it be the responisibilty of a dominant to bring it up and see if the submissive would want or need the test taken for their own comfort level. The reason I ask this, Isn't the Dom respoinsible for the safety and well being of their sub?

Many women are "too shy" to ask their partners for testing.
I see this all the time in the vanilla world, also.
Considering the range of std's in the world, it is a sad and true fact.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to sinstech)

Post #: 37

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/29/2008 6:23:48 AM

MissEnchanted

Posts: 510
Status: offline

MzMia,

I get testing done before and would not continue to see anyone who refused to get a current test.

It is our right and of course a responsibility to take care of our own health.

To anyone who's afraid to ask: be assertive!

ME

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 38

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/31/2008 1:23:09 AM

sublibrarian

Posts: 96
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

Written documentation isn't perfect. I use condoms so I can prevent getting HIV or hepatitis. Just because someone has had a clean test doesn't mean they don't have anything. And testing regularly doesn't prevent. People seem to forget that.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 39

RE: Serious New Relationship/Show me your test results! - 5/31/2008 2:49:23 AM

taintedgypsy

Posts: 228
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

I am on the side of sexual freedom and love the slutty experiences that life sometimes offers ... However if it is not wrapped appropriately it is not coming near me and no shyness about it ... safe sex is the best option to truely enjoy what life has to offer and I get tested regularly just in case as well. Those words "I do not usually do this" I think most people have been guilty of neglecting safe sex practices at some point where passion/lust have over ruled common sense but you have to worry who else they have said these words to ... it just is not worth it ... for one act you risk your enjoyment of life in the future and in extremes give up your future and die, is any sex really worth that sort of cost? As for trust sheesh I do not even trust myself let alone someone else, life just offers to many delectable opportunities for me to say absolutely I will not so how the hell can I think that someone else can. I have met couples who can but hey I am to much of a wild thing and no way am I willing to settle down so I will just keep on using safe sex and getting tested regularly but for those who do feel differently and want a monogomous relationship if the significant other refuses to get tested my advice is run screaming in the other direction.

just my two cents worth

_____________________________

..."Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... It is about learning to dance in the rain."

Equal Opportunity Slut (Yeah ... best of both worlds lol)

warm smiles to all

(in reply to sublibrarian)

Post #: 40

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