10 things you don't want to hear

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

10 things you don't want to hear

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> 10 things you don't want to hear

Page: [1]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

10 things you don't want to hear - 5/26/2008 7:20:53 PM

justaDallasgirl

Posts: 38
Joined: 5/7/2008
From: the Rock
Status: offline

i got this from a aol sensual D/s site and thought it was entertaining

Things you don't wanna hear your Dom/Top say when you are naked and bound...

"Um, I *think* I have another key around here somewhere..."

"Oops."

"Um. You didn't *really* need that, did you?"

"Which end of this thing am I supposed to put in there?"

"Don't worry. I'm sure there's a locksmith somewhere that's open at 2AM..."

"Did I mention we're on camera and this is going on my interactive website?"

"Safeword? Um, what's a safeword?"

"And this is my German Shepherd, Ralph. I know you'll just love Ralph."

"Oh fuck. You *can* untie yourself from up there, right?"

"Oh shit. You do know CPR, don't you?"

"Heh heh heh. You didn't tell anybody else you were coming here, did you?"

"Of course I know what I'm doing. I've read five whole Gor novels!"

"Now, where DID I put that extra attachment for the chainsaw?"

"Uh oh. If this is the tube of KY, where's the Superglue?"

"Did I ever mention that little fantasy I have about the tennis balls?"

"Lie very, very still and keep your body temperature low. It turns me on."

"Oh, um, hello, Officer."

"No, really. Trust me. I saw this work in a movie once."

"You like my straitjacket? Cool; I'm glad they let me keep it."

"Oh mighty Azathoth, accept this sacrifice I offer to You...."

"I'm sorry. Are the voices in my head bothering you?"

"Groovy. This crop leaves colored trails in the air when I swing it."

"You don't need a safeword; I'll just watch your mood ring."

"Oh, um, hi Mom. We were just, um, uh....."

"I'm not crazy. Yes I am. Shut up, all of you."

"I promised no permanent marks, but I bet I can sew that back on."

"Uh oh. I think it's stuck there."

"I always keep the speculum in the freezer. It's more fun that way."

"Did I mention my crucifixion fetish? Now, where did I put those nails..."

"Bye. I'm taking off for the weekend. Isn't suspension bondage fun?"

"Oops. It escaped. I think I see it slithering off in the corner."

"You know, the Marquis de Sade was a pansy

_____________________________

i'm just a girl enjoying her place at Master's waist ;-)

RE: 10 things you don't want to hear - 5/26/2008 7:24:43 PM

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

"I saw this on a porn once"

RUN AWAYYYYYYY

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to justaDallasgirl)

RE: 10 things you don't want to hear - 5/26/2008 7:31:16 PM

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

Hmmmmm, I count more than 10...

LOL!!!

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to justaDallasgirl)

RE: 10 things you don't want to hear - 5/26/2008 8:33:48 PM

Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline

the extra ones are more than worth it :P

_____________________________

Pirate King,

The nicest man you'll ever bleed for

Posting Help

Vitam Piratae Eligo

The Rainmaker

(in reply to rubberpet)

RE: 10 things you don't want to hear - 5/27/2008 1:41:50 AM

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

Very true...very true. I certainly wasn't complaining.

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to Asherdelampyr)

RE: 10 things you don't want to hear - 5/27/2008 1:00:04 PM

Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

Snicker...the Gag reels from Porn films can be absolutely hilarious.. Watched one where they were making a film about blade play and castration (a tender subject for many men) and the "victim" a volunteer who didn't get to read the script so that his reactions would be "real" was tied spread eagle and blindfolded over a base, everything flapping to the wind and the Domina had been "handling" him and running the edge of a blade over his organs. He was really into everything that was going on and his excitment had been growing when the director yelled "Cut". Panic ensued on the part of the poor victim, as he screamed "Don't Cut..Don't Cut!!!!"

Needless to say they were cutting the scene because something had gone wrong with one of the the cameras..but his panic was real and hilarious in hindsight, though I am sure not so much for him when it happened.

So..last thing you want to hear someone say as you are spreadeagled, blindfolded and someone is playing with knives...CUT!

poenkitten

(in reply to Lynnxz)

RE: 10 things you don't want to hear - 5/27/2008 7:24:08 PM

Posts: 342
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

"It puts the lotion on it's skin"

_____________________________

TOURETTE SYNDROME: It's no mother f*cking joke, you God d*mn c*ck sucking f*ck!

"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head." - John F. Kennedy

-Owner of eyesopened- and damn PROUD of her!

(in reply to BlackPhx)

RE: 10 things you don't want to hear - 5/27/2008 7:40:41 PM

phoenixinchains

Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline

"So, you're double jointed, huh?"

_____________________________

OWNED BY CHAOSFORGE.
purrfectly happy slave of Chaosforge.

http://www.myspace.com/phoenixofchaosforge
devotee of CM gods and mods

(in reply to InkedMaster)

Page: [1]

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> 10 things you don't want to hear

Page: [1]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.034