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Worth waiting or not - 10/25/2005 2:51:21 AM

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I have been discussing with a friend who is a sub and she has been dealing with very impatient Doms. So here's my question to All the Doms/Dommes. If You know that the sub is a good sub, but is really busy in her professional life, is she worth waiting for? If so, how long would the wait be???

ropesubby

RE: Worth waiting or not - 10/25/2005 3:04:54 AM

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Surely this depends on the individuals and their agenda?

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(in reply to ropesubby39)

RE: Worth waiting or not - 10/25/2005 3:20:51 AM

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see i am a slave and i generally think you should at least meet soon, because you build false expectations and hope over time , maybe fantasys with the non visual or physical aspect of the relationship. Im also a single mom and find the time for the right man to meet them .

(in reply to ropesubby39)

RE: Worth waiting or not - 10/25/2005 5:49:41 AM

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How you get to know someone in the courting phase is how they will be in the relationship. If they are impatient on this...what makes her thing they will change later?

And, as said, it depends on the circumstance.

(in reply to ropesubby39)

RE: Worth waiting or not - 10/25/2005 6:18:30 AM

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Is the impatience regarding a first time meeting? Progression of a relationship to committment? Performance of a commanded task? It really all depends on the circumstances. I would not recommend rushing into a relationship purely to satisfy the whim of an impatient Master. That is a recipe for disaster. D/s relationships, like any other relationship, need to be built slowly and carefully so as to minimize regrets later. There is nothing like getting to know someone before you can honestly understand your compatiblility. The getting to know someone process can be a lot of fun too.

(in reply to ropesubby39)

RE: Worth waiting or not - 10/25/2005 6:53:20 AM

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When I was single, I'd talk with someone for a couple of week before meeting them. Then it would be a meeting for either coffee or a drink. I made it perfectly clear that there would be no sex or S&M on the first meeting. This is the time that I'm trying to decide if I want to go on a date with you.

If we made it past the meeting, I made it perfectly clear that sex or play most likely wouldn't happen until I was comfortable, usually somewhere between the 5th and 8th date. This is the time where I'm deciding if I like you enough to do those things.

If someone pushed me on the subject, they were gone.

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(in reply to TheONEyouneed)

RE: Worth waiting or not - 10/25/2005 7:08:52 AM

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When I met my sub the first time we met after a week of messages and a couple of phone calls. We met strictly to see if somethng was there and to gain an element of trust. Was a striclty information gathering meeting. After that, because there was a distance issue, it was back to the phone calls and emails for a while.

As far as waiting it depends on the individuals. If a person feels really drawn to someone then waiting should be a small price to pay for hopefully a big payoff. At the same time though if someone needs a person who will be more avialable than a busy professional woman, then it would be best to cut ties now. How much time you need to spend with someone is a big issue in all relationships. In vanilla or D/s.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Worth waiting or not - 10/25/2005 7:26:21 AM

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Well then i have a question on the flip side of the coin. How long should a sub/slave wait for a very busy Master?

littleone

(in reply to xanderzzz)

RE: Worth waiting or not - 10/25/2005 7:52:39 AM

LaDee

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I have first hand experience with this one. My pet waited 3yrs.+ for Me due too other committments work,family issues,etc.... W/we met 1/2 way or took turns driving every 2 weeks to spend time together. I am worth the wait! Mistress La'Dee

(in reply to littleone35)

RE: Worth waiting or not - 10/25/2005 8:23:36 AM

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Each person and each relationship is different. I might wait years or only days depending on the person I'm interesterd in and depending on the ATTITUDE of that person also. If they give me the idea that I'm going to be second or third to other things for the forseeable future then I might change my mind. If, however, they make it plain that this is only temporary, then I'd be inclined to wait longer.

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(in reply to ropesubby39)

RE: Worth waiting or not - 10/25/2005 2:54:15 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ropesubby39

I have been discussing with a friend who is a sub and she has been dealing with very impatient Doms. So here's my question to All the Doms/Dommes. If You know that the sub is a good sub, but is really busy in her professional life, is she worth waiting for? If so, how long would the wait be???

ropesubby

I agree with what several have already said and will add this.

Generally I will be patient with anyone who I think is doing their best. If for example she has made it clear she wants to pursue a relationship but has a lot to deal with right now, so long as I can see that she is doing her best to work towards that relationship then I can be patient. There is no specific time limit on that, it depends entirely on her behavior.

If its a case of, she would like a relationship eventually (but not specifically one with me, that's just a possibility) then I will be patient to a point. But if something better comes along I will almost certainly choose someone else. That is if she has made and kept no commitment to me, then I will not make any commitment to her... if things work out anyway, that's fine but she's taking a gamble.

Overall I look at where her priorities seem to be... if they are ultimately on a relationship with me I'll invest a lot... but if her priorities are elsewhere she can't expect to be one of my top priorities either. You get what you give.

Most impatient doms, in my opinion, are either inexperienced, immature, or just out for sex. The experienced, mature dom will be patient because he also has standards he will not compromise and not just anyone will fit those standards, for those that do some patience is worthwhile.

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to ropesubby39)

RE: Worth waiting or not - 10/26/2005 4:42:39 PM

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This might not be a popular answer but I have always found that if someone is worth having, you will make time. And on the flip side, if someone is REALLY into you they will make time. We all get busy in our professional lives, I know as an event planner I have very busy seasons (one of which is right around the corner) and if I am with someone, they are a part of my life and must contribute to my busy season.... I personally do not want to be with someone who thinks so little of me that they do not have time for me.

(in reply to Padriag)

RE: Worth waiting or not - 10/27/2005 12:25:53 AM

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if someone is impatient, this probably reflects on how impatient they will be to get out of a relationship once they have had what they want from it.

Mike

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Let Me unchain your mind and your sexuality will follow.

(in reply to ropesubby39)

RE: Worth waiting or not - 10/27/2005 3:06:26 AM

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I agree with You DallasDiva, if the person really cares for someone, they will make the time. If the relationship is doomed from the beginning, I dont know how this can be done when that person is married and is only available during daytime.

ropesubby

(in reply to DallasDiva)

RE: Worth waiting or not - 10/27/2005 3:25:52 AM

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Anyone should take their time, we all have our space needs and time is one of them. Once both parties "feel" safe in a simple meeting, then it should happen -- always in a public place of her choice, again, for her safety.

In line with the vanilla world, the time is right when it feels right.

Be safe,
Bill

(in reply to ropesubby39)

RE: Worth waiting or not - 10/27/2005 5:17:19 AM

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No matter who you are, when a person envolves themselves in a relationship, then things must be done to compromisef and make time for each other. To make a relationship work, all parties must deide if they want to be in the relationship and if they are ready. So the real question, is your friend READY to be in a relationship? In the past I have met people who were not ready to be in a relationship. In most cases I waited and kept small chat conversation with these individuals for about a month or two at a time. The bottom line though is that I moved on to find others that were ready. It wasn't that I was impatient but realizing that I can't waste my life waiting for someone to finish this, that, and the other before there could be any time for me. It can be years of being lead on and given the run around before you get another confession that the person wasn't ready for you but was really ready for someone else and just waiting for them. So instead of waiting exclusivly for that one person, I just stick to chit chat, go dateing with others that are ready, and see if this person is ready before I'm with someone else. If you really like and want to be with a person, you'll make time for them.

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(in reply to ropesubby39)

RE: Worth waiting or not - 10/27/2005 3:12:04 PM

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From: Texas
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hmm,. would I wait for someone who I believe is a good slave,.

As some have posted, yes if she is in constant communication, working towards the end goal of meeting in person, working to move here and eventually living at my home.

Im not one for the "dating" scenerio at all and if she is just looking and is talking to others to best weigh her options (a perfectly good idea), I will happily tell her my position and if and when she is reading to contact me again when we can focus on the end results that I require. As IronBear has mentioned in another post, as soon as you stop looking for someone, fates as they are will always seem to send someone your way.

Online is fine and a very good weeding out process that alot of us didn't have at one time, but for me, the end result is in person, away from online on a daily basis. That is when I see a slave at her best... and her worst.

D

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

RE: Worth waiting or not - 10/27/2005 3:15:03 PM

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I can only speak for myself on this....patience is a byword for me...it's what I've gained from years of experience...it's self control...as a man called Master by mine...if it weren't for the simple fact...I practice what I preach...I wouldn't be who I am to them...so what it boils down to is this...any sub...worth something to one looking for what she or he has to offer....if that Dom can't wait for the time that fits them both...maybe that Dom isn't worth waiting on either...if we teach and speak all the time about a submissives use of patience...we damn well better be able to demonstrate by our own actions...we can wait for that right one too...after all...we should have the time...

Fury

(in reply to ropesubby39)

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