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WhatUrSeeking -> RE: Should S&M be in the DSM? (6/28/2008 1:16:34 PM)
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This is a great question that reminds me of one that I wrestle with. I began my journey with BDSM with the belief that nothing is morally wrong or destructive to the person as long as all parties mutually consent to the behavior. In general this is true when it comes to sex. I have decided though that there is a point where BDSM sex can be destructive to ones mind, body, and soul even if both parties agree to the act and even enjoy the act. Let me give you and example.
My father is a psychologist. Him and several of the other shrinks were wrestling with an issue. An out of state doctor had asked for their opinion on how to treat a patient with the following case. Two individuals met each other online the girl desired nothing more than to be consumed by her master. This master wanted to literally eat his submissive. They were both willing participants and they both got off sexually on this arrangement. Over the course of a few months the girl cut off pieces of her own body starting with fingers. She would take pictures and mail her master these as well. Her Dom would cook her body parts and eat them. He probably sent her pictures of this as well. The arrangement was that after a certain period of time of his consuming her body she would commit suicide and he would eat her corpse. She amputated several fingers and possibly other body parts, but the pair was stopped by another party before she died. As I said they are both mutually agreeing and very sexually aroused by this. Both mutually agreeing and sexually aroused would have normally fit my description of a healthy sexual relationship that others should keep their nose out of; however this it seems obvious to me that the amputation, canabalism, and murder/suicide in this Dominant / submissive relationship crossed some sort of line to do with health, morality, and sanity. These people needed help. They were also into BDSM. So their is a line where BDSM is not healthy, but where is the line.
Of note in Hugh Heffner's biography he states that anything sexual is O.K. as long as everyone is a consenting adult and does not commit the act out with hate in their heart. His definition does not rule out BDSM, but it does rule out acts of BDSM done out of hatred. You could argue that it rules out the act between these two as well, but then we don't really know if this submissive amputated herself out of hatred for herself or if the Dom wanted her to because of hatred for her / women / humans / etc. Then again when I am angry it sure makes me feel better to take it out on a sexy bottom, and it does not feel unhealthy.
Some people's answers to when does BDSM belong in the DSM post have helped me to clarify where the line is between healthy and unhealthy BDSM behavior.
I have decided I will post this slightly different question as its own thread. If interested you will find it out there on the message boards.
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