stella41b
Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
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Yes I do. However I don't differentiate between vanilla and "THE LIFESTYLE" as it's all one of the same thing known as 'society'.
You see the boundaries have been smudged quite a lot possibly by the Internet and the accessibility into kink and BDSM by many different people in society. I just see people, period.
One thing you've always got to be careful of, I feel is social stigma - stereotyping and labelling people either through appearance, their behaviour or lifestyle, or even what I would call 'tribal' social stigma.
Sad to say I see all three forms of social stigma here on these boards and can give three distinct examples of this - for example the recent thread on she-males (social stigma by appearance), earlier on YKINOK (social stigma by lifestyle or behaviour) and Gor (tribal social stigma).
This is something that we here all have to be very careful about, especially when we are throwing people in to broad categories such as we can see in the OP and which also happens in society - gay and straight, black and white, and even within the community such as lifestyle and professional. These appears to somehow lead us into a false sense of security that we are talking about 'us' and 'them' which is what we can see in the above OP - deadbeat Doms, lying Dommes, mental subbies and mental people.
This kind of way of thinking tends to be very divisive within the community as indeed in society and this is how YKINOK attitudes are formed.
I don't know about mental illness, in fact I don't see this as any sort of major issue. What I do feel however is a more pressing issue is the danger presented by the CM Thought Police, kink fascists and that insidious minority of sanctimonious neonazis who are so deluded that they believe that their opinion counts as The Majority View. Disclaimer: I'm NOT referring to the OP here, or to anyone, but just stating a general opinion and observation from my own perspective.
The Moderators by and large do a wonderful job in keeping such elements off the boards but I also feel we share some of that responsibility as guests on this free website. Again, my own personal opinion.
As for these mental people I can't say. What i do know is that we have all come here by our own individual paths, some of which have crossed, we have all got through our childhoods, we all have lives, pasts, relationships, we live, we breathe, we all have our circumstances, and therefore we all have our issues. Everyone has issues, I have issues, none of us here are immune to the stresses, trials, difficulties and crises that life and our relationships with other people periodically throw at us.
I therefore don't see 'us' and 'them' I just see 'us' and 'us' and more 'us'.. I just see people. I'm reluctant or unwilling to pass judgment on someone until I've met them and/or spent some time with them and walked alongside them in their path through life. You may think, you may perceive, you may understand, but your understanding is really only limited by your own perception and isn't quite the same as knowledge gained from personal experience.
I go back to something I shared in an earlier thread. A French proverb. It is easier to lie to others than to stop deceiving yourself. I know this. I've been there, done it, worn the T-shirt.
If I ever do come across 'mental' people here - which I personally don't find all that dangerous or threatening - I'm often tempted to make contact and leave an avenue open for that person to get back to me and share what it is they're going through, off the boards, with me in private. Why? I've learned by example, and there are some here who have taught me to do the same. Not everybody can be strong or in control all the time. Some people struggle, and I mean really struggle, and the last thing I feel these people need is to be dismissed or avoided. I'm not a therapist, nor a counsellor, but just another friendly human being off whom they can bounce their ideas, feelings and emotions off. We all need friends, and everyone needs someone.
I'm not too sure what point was being made about price..all I know is I don't want to think about putting a price on what and who I have found on this site. I guess this is just my way of saying it's appreciated.
< Message edited by stella41b -- 6/3/2008 8:55:16 AM >
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