quote:

The lines that imply that I will seek and achieve some kind of BDSM omniscience and become a dominant guru to my submissive make me a little uncomfortable, though.  I could never promise in conscience that I would always know more about any subject than my submissive does -- I've always been attracted to highly intelligent and capable men, and part of the appeal of such men is that they know more than I do about some subjects.  What if BDSM was one of them?

What follows are my comments on what others have written in response to the piece along with my own thoughts on it.

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Original: Lady Pact
First, I think it's going to get some flack for the 'submission is a gift' part.  Personally, I do see submission as something of a gift, in the same way I see friendship or love as a gift.  It isn't meant as a statement that it isn't given, but only with the understanding that something is also given in return.  I'm a bit torn on the expression Myself, so I'll leave it at that.

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The other part that I am not too sure about is the "I will always be in control of Myself" portion.  Now, had the person said always in control of a scene or control of the dynamic, I might have bought it.  As a Dominant, I don't think I am always in control of Myself.  I may be in control of My actions and reactions, but not always of the self.  I could become ill.  I could be emotional.  I could throw out several things and situations where I do not think I am especially in control.

I'd expect my dominant to be at least as much in control of her emotions and behavior as I am of mine; not just while scening, but in her vanilla life as well.  If she's exhibiting addictive behaviors and clearly not able to maintain self-control, I certainly don't want to turn my safety and control of parts of my life over to her.

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I feel just as much responsibility toward My submissive as My male counterparts feel toward their girls.

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Original: SylvereApLeanan 
it's setting up a false ideal of Teh Perfecshun of Twue Domliness

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If the dominant is unable to follow through on these promises for whatever reason, must the relationship be disolved on those grounds?

I personally don't think a Dominant should be making promises they know they can't keep.  There are always emergencies and things that happen, but that shouldn't be the rule.  If it's common place, then it seems to me the Dominant needs to reexamine their priorities and the promises they make.  A Dominant wouldn't tolerate a sub breaking promises all the time, so why should the Dominant be held to a different standard?

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Original: ShaktiSama
I suppose if I was to alter this piece at all, I would change the tone slightly to show more respect for the submissive's accomplishments and agency?  This promise makes it sound a bit as if the submissive must be a complete neophyte and much less intelligent and capable than I am...and I might add a line in which I promised to willingly and gracefully receive love, support and wisdom if it was needed.  "I promise that I will not pretend to be omnipotent or superhuman to hide my own vulnerability" is a vow that more dominants need to make and keep, in my opinion.

Very good Shakti!  A rare occasion to celebrate, we're in agreement on something again!   We're indeed all human, and cough, cough, no domme is perfect, cough, cough, cough.  We subs want to be there for our dommes when they go through difficult times.  We want them to let us in and allow us to help them.  Many seem to feel they must keep up an image of being perfect and can't allow themselves to accept that kind of help and support from us.  To me that's a genuine shame that they can share such deep intimacy with us, getting deep inside our minds and psyches, yet won't acknowledge their own frailties and humanity.

In paragraph 4, I don't expect my Domme to be responsible for all aspects of my life.  It's her choice to delegate responsibility for things I'm perfectly capable of taking care of on my own as an adult male who by now should be able to many things very well without her help!  If she has that kind of need for control, we're probably not likely to be very compatible to begin with as I don't generally need to be micromanaged which I'd see as a waste of her time unless of course she proves me otherwise.

I'd slightly modify paragraph 8.  I want to be loved and respected by my Domme for being a male who is submissive to her.  That paragragraph touches on it, but doesn't fill that particular item which is a male specific need.  I want to know that after I've been her "slut" or pleased her every desire, that she loves and respects me as a man and that that's also what attracts her to me.

That's my summary on how I view what was written.  I hope it leads to further discussion.

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ORIGINAL: pixelslave
A Dominant's Promise
 
As the Dominant to my submissive I know that she gives herself to me
in mind, body, soul and spirit and does so of her own volition. In
me she has placed confidence, reliance, faith, hope, and dependence.

I will endeavor to ensure my submissive's needs and desires are
learned, and her limits are respected at all times. I understand
that the gift of submission is priceless and will cherish it always.

Through my actions I will demonstrate that I am in complete control
of myself thus allowing me to impress upon my submissive the need to
relinquish any control she may subconsciously retain in order to
facilitate our erotic power exchange.

I accept responsibility for all aspects of my submissive's life,
ensuring that each decision I make in her regard is the best for her
body, spirit and soul.

Never will I place my submissive in jeopardy, nor will I compromise
the trust she has placed in me.

In order to bring my submissive to new heights and understanding, I
will work to achieve a vast knowledge of all aspects of the
lifestyle, thus allowing me to be the teacher that she so richly
deserves.

I will honor, defend and guard my submissive at all times showing
that my love for her will provide a safe harbor in times of
adversity.

My Dominant self is rooted both in reality and in fantasy, yet I can
easily differentiate the two never allowing the fantasy world to
overtake that of the real world.

In times of distress and hardship, I will shed the role of Dominant
and provide for my submissive, a supportive partner and confidante.

While often unrelenting and strict, bringing my submissive to tears,
I will always kiss away the tears that are shed showing my
submissive that while stern, my heart belongs to her.

I vow never to lift a hand to my submissive in anger. When
punishment is needed it shall always be delivered with a tender and
discerning hand and for a valid reason.

I pledge to my submissive patience and understanding, tolerance and
steadfastness allowing us to grow and nurture the bond we have
established so that it may withstand the test of time.

Above all else, I will wear the title of Dominant with great honor.

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ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

Pfft!  Not my thing.  My 'job' is to make myself and vicariously, my sub, happy.

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That being said... I'm having the best time getting ready for my new toy's first visit.  I can't believe how many trips I've made to the store to make sure I have everything NEW for him.  It's his first time.  *evil grins*  I want it to be special for him.  It's been DECADES since I've had  a  'virgin'.