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RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/8/2008 4:57:38 PM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		 
The resons for thinking that one is submissive or dominant are as complex as the personality of the person.
All good relationships take time to build and can be very easily destroyed.
Assumptions and expectations can spoil prospective relationships.
Lots of people think in stereotypes it's very hard not to.
Honesty and clear communication is the only way to build trust and trust is required in all relationships.
Some people are capable of respecting anothers point of view some are not.
Some Dominants are quite happy to have a sub who is submissive to all some are not.
It takes time for an individual to find out what they need.
and finding the right person at the right time is difficult.
Better to judge someone as not right for you than to judge them as inadequate as a person and far better to explain that than to block someone.

(in reply to azjojoba)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/8/2008 5:04:42 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: merrymischief2

I was told by a Dominant that I do not sound submissive. I did request some information when confronted with his rather implausible circumstances.

I admit to finding it amusing. I mean, really how does a submissive sound? Timid? Gullible? My intention was not to sound demanding or rude but potential Dominants must understand submissives are relegated to slaying dragons here, i.e. disputing the many misleading and duplicitous missives we receive each day.

Okay, 'nuff said. Back to writing a proposal for a client...merry



"Mischief, thou art afoot." -Shakespeare






(Doesn't sound submissive to me...but hey...wtf do I know...everyone and his brother thinks I'm a Dom....sue me).

(in reply to merrymischief2)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/8/2008 5:14:41 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I didn't get the memo where one has to type in a certain way to sound submissive. Maybe I was out sick that day.

CD

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999

(in reply to Griswold)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/8/2008 5:17:14 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

I didn't get the memo where one has to type in a certain way to sound submissive. Maybe I was out sick that day.

CD


She asked, based on the above...(clearly you weren't paying attention).

(in reply to CruelDesires)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/8/2008 5:46:13 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Damn. I promise to pay better atten... " Ohh. Look at that cool spider" *Points at the ceiling*


CD

_____________________________

Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
Lois McMaster Bujold, "A Civil Campaign", 1999

(in reply to Griswold)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/8/2008 7:44:58 PM   
Daddyslilpookie


Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline 		 Wow! don't believe that so called Dominant's psycho babble bullshit about not sounding submissive just be yourself and you will be fine.

_____________________________

Princess Andie


"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

(in reply to merrymischief2)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/8/2008 7:56:03 PM   
yellowseeksred


Posts: 15
Joined: 1/30/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

Now that i have the safety to express my slaveself, i get letters from Doms telling me what a perfect slave i would be for them.

If they had written me when i was seeking, many of them would not have felt that way. Many other dominants might, it's just the ones who write me, drawn to the whole TPE dynamic i have with Master - there are clues in their writing, and their tone, that suggest that they would have been among the many, many doms who wrote me when i was seeking to tell me i would never find, because i had too many limits.

If I am not yet your slave - don't expect me to act like it. Don't expect anything beyond basic respect - and you get that, only until you earn not getting it. don't expect me to kiss an ass that I am not intimate with. And, yes, until i am owned, i have HOARDES of limits. They fall away slowly, as i get to know someone, and trust grows. If you can't make trust grow, the limits don't go.




I hope you don't mind but I used your last paragraph in my journal. I wrote something similar, but yours was much better.

(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/9/2008 12:45:02 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dragon2760

 It must be nice to be a female sub and know that all you have to do is post a profile and just wait for the e-mails to start rolling in versus being a male sub and having to send out multiple messages hoping you at least get a courteous no thank you or not interested reply.


Have you tried trans-gendering?
(Pure sarcasm by the way).

I think you might have a somewhat self-defeating attitude. If you are sending out block emails I think this would be apparent in the email's impersonal style and contant. It would in itself scupper any future communication would it not?.


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to dragon2760)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/9/2008 12:57:17 AM   
Indemnis


Posts: 179
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

Damn. I promise to pay better atten... " Ohh. Look at that cool spider" *Points at the ceiling*


CD


Well, he IS  a really cool spider.  ....Shall we call him Boris?  I think we should! 

_____________________________

No-one respects the flame quite like the fool who's badly burned-- Pete Townshend

(in reply to CruelDesires)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/9/2008 5:21:47 AM   
sweetsub772


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

If I am not yet your slave - don't expect me to act like it. Don't expect anything beyond basic respect - and you get that, only until you earn not getting it. don't expect me to kiss an ass that I am not intimate with. And, yes, until i am owned, i have HOARDES of limits. They fall away slowly, as i get to know someone, and trust grows. If you can't make trust grow, the limits don't go.

Thank you for this response. I don't come here often but i am glad i did today. Your response is encouraging to me. I have tried to express exactly what you said numerous time to Doms who seem to feel that a sub must let go of all limits and do everything he requires without limits or questions shortly into the relationship. I was unsuccessful in my communications at times.  You have said what i feel very concisely and i'd like permission to use it. 

(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/9/2008 6:42:11 PM   
MistressYlwa


Posts: 263
Joined: 8/25/2005
Status: offline 		Some understand and then there are those that just don't get it.

"Just because we chat or email back and forth, does not mean your are owned or even temporarily collared. While I do expect to be treated with respect, I also respect those who I communicate with. I make every attempt to answer emails as soon as received, unless totally unacceptable. I have nothing to hide and will answer any question as honestly as possible. I expect the same from you. When we are both comfortable and feel the relationship is there, then I will ask if you will submit and will respect your answer.  I will make demands for obedience when you accept, not before."
 
While I don't always use those terms, this pretty well sums up my responses to some of the remarks I have gotten in email.

You sound like a lovely lady and find nothing unacceptable in your tone or remarks here. So looks like the problem is not from your end. lol

_____________________________

Mistress Ylwa

You see what power is - holding someone elses fear in your hand and showing it to them! - Amy Tan

(in reply to sweetsub772)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/9/2008 10:20:06 PM   
loveandlight87


Posts: 110
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

If I am not yet your slave - don't expect me to act like it. Don't expect anything beyond basic respect - and you get that, only until you earn not getting it. don't expect me to kiss an ass that I am not intimate with. And, yes, until i am owned, i have HOARDES of limits. They fall away slowly, as i get to know someone, and trust grows. If you can't make trust grow, the limits don't go.

Bravo!!!  Thank you for that. 


(in reply to tsatske)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/28/2008 9:55:33 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dragon2760

It must be nice to be a female sub and know that all you have to do is post a profile and just wait for the e-mails to start rolling in versus being a male sub and having to send out multiple messages hoping you at least get a courteous no thank you or not interested reply.


Beng a sub or a Dom isn't the point.  It's that women get unsolicited contacts from men more than the other way around.  And that's not just online, but in RL as well - we men are supposed to make the first move.

It sounds wonderful in theory - just sit back and let the propositions roll in - but the reality is that most of the contacts are from people you have to turn down.






_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to dragon2760)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/28/2008 3:11:19 PM   
WhatUrSeeking


Posts: 49
Joined: 6/28/2008
Status: offline 		There could be a few different things going on here. First I would say that the way his submissive sounds could be very much a part of his fantasy. We all have different fantasies. His submissive fantasy could involve a certain tone of voice or phrase. Of course it is his responsibility to teach you this. The other issue could be that he feels you act almost dominant. For example your subtle suggestions of things you would like are not so subtle, in fact maybe they sound like orders. Either way your dominant should be more clear. If he can not be clear than it is likely the fantasy issue. How do you describe how your fantasy sub sounds? Likely she is eager or grateful to do as he commands and never sounds like she begrudgingly does things. Hope this helps.

< Message edited by WhatUrSeeking -- 6/28/2008 3:12:57 PM >

(in reply to merrymischief2)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/28/2008 3:16:10 PM   
blackbeard519


Posts: 19
Joined: 6/8/2008
Status: offline 		Funny...I don't sound submissive either!

We have so much in common!! :-)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/28/2008 4:45:04 PM   
StrangerinBlack


Posts: 44
Joined: 4/27/2008
Status: offline 		Yea, I can respect how that must be annoying. I get it the other way around sometimes. I tend to be rather mellow, respectful, and patient when in a social environment. Because of that I tend to get 1 or 2 "Oh, your a Dom ?"  an event. It doesn't really bother me, but I'm like "What, do I have to be aggressive, bossy, and leer at your chest?"

(in reply to blackbeard519)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/29/2008 6:28:33 AM   
ftmyersartist


Posts: 107
Joined: 9/14/2007
Status: offline 		I would like to offer this as a possible reply to the dominant to appologize for not sounding submissive enough:


Dear MasterlyLordAmpleAssDumbleFuck;

In as much as i would love to please you in every way posssible which required no actual effort and no contact and of course, no residule bathroom stain. i find myself unable to sound more submissive then i already do. GreatDomlyNutFuckSirMastrfulBoomBoom, you must understand, the mere sound of your. .  .emails. . . makes my digital parts quiver. However, i think i may have discovered why i may sound non-submissive-slavelike-domelikeadoormat-dishrag to you. Perhaps your MightnessLumpyFuckMasterfulSirosity would have an easier time hearing my submissiveness if you did not have your DomlyMasterfulBumbleNutFuck head shoved so deeply in your own anal cavity. So MasterHumptyFuckDomlySirness, may this submissive make a humble request? Could you perhaps pull your bigdomlymasterfulmelon head out of your own ass before you try and contact me again please? It would make hearing much easier and that way we can both be sure you know exactly what i sound like.

Submissively Yours,
Whatevernameyou'vegivenmebecauseyouobviouslydon'tcareenoughtoknowwhatmineis

(in reply to StrangerinBlack)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/29/2008 6:47:30 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: merrymischief2

I was told by a Dominant that I do not sound submissive. I did request some information when confronted with his rather implausible circumstances.

I admit to finding it amusing. I mean, really how does a submissive sound? Timid? Gullible? My intention was not to sound demanding or rude but potential Dominants must understand submissives are relegated to slaying dragons here, i.e. disputing the many misleading and duplicitous missives we receive each day.

Okay, 'nuff said. Back to writing a proposal for a client...merry



"Mischief, thou art afoot." -Shakespeare







Merry, if you had read the "Official and Complete Subbie Handbook", you would have seen that you as a subbie are required to gracefully prostrate yourself at each and every contact with all doms - cyber as well as realtime.  Obviously this "dom" was calling you on your misbehaviour.He could tell that you weren't on the floor, with your head down.

But seriously - your reply should have been "Bite my bum"    -   to show him what you wanted , of course!

(in reply to merrymischief2)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/29/2008 6:49:27 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StrangerinBlack

Yea, I can respect how that must be annoying. I get it the other way around sometimes. I tend to be rather mellow, respectful, and patient when in a social environment. Because of that I tend to get 1 or 2 "Oh, your a Dom ?"  an event. It doesn't really bother me, but I'm like "What, do I have to be aggressive, bossy, and leer at your chest?"



ummm    ...    yes.                You didn't get the memo?

(in reply to StrangerinBlack)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: The Misleading Dominant - 6/29/2008 1:13:43 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The resons for thinking that one is submissive or dominant are as complex as the personality of the person.
All good relationships take time to build and can be very easily destroyed.
Assumptions and expectations can spoil prospective relationships.
Lots of people think in stereotypes it's very hard not to.
Honesty and clear communication is the only way to build trust and trust is required in all relationships.
Some people are capable of respecting anothers point of view some are not.
Some Dominants are quite happy to have a sub who is submissive to all some are not.
It takes time for an individual to find out what they need.
and finding the right person at the right time is difficult.
Better to judge someone as not right for you than to judge them as inadequate as a person and far better to explain that than to block someone.

(in reply to azjojoba


lateralist,

Well said!

CP

(in reply to lateralist1)
Profile   Post #: 80
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