RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types of people....

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 6:39:23 AM

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People who casually overtake you in a queue. When I fathom enough calm I sometimes manage to tell them 'please take my place in the queue, you're obviously more important than I am, no need to thank me, you are most welcome', or if they're old 'it's okay, I forgive you, you're far older than me, your time is precious' (strangely, that one REALLY pisses off old ladies

).

But it takes A LOT of concentration not to grab them and throw them out of the way.

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 6:53:35 AM

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one time I was in line to board a flight..right behind a rather attractive man.. some guy who was OBVIOUSLY MEGA-IMPORTANT cut in front of both of us to give his boarding pass to the girl there, then stomped down the hall..only to be hled up while the people before him shuffled onto the plane. Naturally, Mr. Hottie and I were right behind him (after chatting with the girl who was taking the passes about what an arrogant prick the guy had been).
Much to the amusement of Hottie and I..Prick moved down the aisle to his seat..roughly 2-3 rows in front of the back of the plane..

ok, so he was in SUCH a big hurry to get on the plane.. and he was going to have to wait until the plane was almost empty to disembark... LMAO!!!
Meanwhile.. Mr Hottie and I were within 10 rows of the exit...LOL

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 7:04:44 AM

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so, tell us... did ya get his number? fuck him in the bathroom? anything?

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 7:06:05 AM

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I was wondering just the same thing. Did Toppy join the Mile High Club that time? Inquiring minds want to know :-) .

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 7:45:50 AM

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I was wondering the same thing, so Toppy, emquiring minds want to know....

Now, for another example of those people...

Recently, due to the unwarrented action of a bee, who for some reason decided that I needed stung, I had to be rushed to the emergency room, (severe allergic reaction.)
While I was rushed in ahead of others in the emergency room waiting area, unable to breathe, I was told by my sister that a couple complained that I had been taken in immediately. ( I was told this after I came to)
Evidently, this man and woman had brought their son in after he had taken a bad fall and suffered a cut.... which did not require stitches, had stopped bleeding long before they got into see the doctor.
I could hear them complaining at this time from the exam room I was in, about how the hospital had a strange set of priorities, and they had waited hours to have thier son treated.
During their wait, it was explained to them by a nurse, the ER had one trauma case arrive by lifeflight, two by ambulance, and treated a father to be who had passed out cold in the delivery room and in the process of going to the floor managed to hit something that required 12 stitches in his head....
Now, interestingly enough, I heard the mother's response, which was, and I quote, "What made all those people more important than my son?"

Why do I get the distinct impression that when this boy turns 16 he will get a brand new BMW, Lexus, or some other outragiously expensive car?

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 8:01:31 AM

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Not all bipolar II's are delusional. And there are some very effective new medications out there, unfortunately still on patent.

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 8:24:49 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

I was wondering just the same thing. Did Toppy join the Mile High Club that time? Inquiring minds want to know :-) .

Actually, no.. we werent seated together.. and I had a window seat.. and with the current seating arrangement in most aircraft, I wasnt going to climb across laps.. LOL

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 11:02:14 AM

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I'd let you climb across me *wink*

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 2:30:52 PM

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I just had a visit from my daughter and her life partner Donna, and they brought out my 4 month old grand daughter!!!

Anyway, Anna told me about another class of annoying people.... those medical professionals who ask the question, "How are WE doing today?"

She was actually talking about the day she gave birth, and right in the middle of labor (grand daughter was clearly in no hurry, it was 12 hours in labor) the nurse came in and asked that question of my daughter, who had refused pain medication.

Now, I must explain that my daughter's idea of diplomacy is basically the same as a angry bear, maul whatever it was that made you mad, then ask what it wanted.

Her response, was, according to Donna quite restrained. It seems my daughter told the nurse to insert a 12 pound bowling ball into here uterus and then push it out.

This is Anna's second child.

It dawned on me at that moment how many times I have been asked that question.

You would think that a nurse, orderly, nurse's aid would come up with something better to ask.

I was asked that question by six different people in one night when I was being treated for a compound fracture.

I broke my leg about 8 inches below the knee and both ends of the bone were portruding out of the skin. ( I had been thrown from a trophy bull and he proceeded to stomp on my leg for staying on the full 8 seconds.)

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 3:04:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherdelampyr

I was at the store the other day, and there was this kid on the floor, throwing a fit
I looked at him, and said, in my meanest calm voice "Shut the fuck up"
he looked at me, fear very evident on his face, and shut the fuck up
his ma, instead of thanking me, started yelling at me (ungreateful twunt!), so I said to her, in the same voice "Get out of here or im going to eat you both"

she ran off

it was great

I can’t say for sure whether the Mother here was lost on what to do. But I can tell you that I have three sons’; my middle son was the most challenging as parent.

Prone to temper tantrums from 9mnths old until two and half we had moments at restaurants, toy stores, department stores and numerous public places. However never was I out of control of my child and his actions.

During some of his hysterics I would simply stand him up (he throw himself on the floor during these fits) walk out and take him home. Yet at other times I would ignore his fit and have him trailing me through the grocery store crying and demanding I buy him whatever he was fixated upon.

These where the times I could not leave and simply had to deal with the embarrassment of a child doing everything in his power to try and force me to relent. Since I had said “NO” I was in control and would not be manipulated by a child. Prior to this child I had an older boy that was easy and followed each rule put in place and was a content child.

Before I had a son who acted this way I was of the opinion that such behavior was due to the parent. Of course many children do act in such a way because of the parents, but there are those children with disabilities who have impulse issues and often fixate on an item acting against all they know and all the rules in an effort to achieve their goal.

At his worst moment my son through a tantrum at a toy store, banging his head on the floor, screaming with ear piercing volume, while I was kneeled down next to him and calmly was telling him to stop. The fit became so intense that he bashed his head so hard he blooded his nose and blackened his eye. As I was in the middle of trying to pick him up off the floor a young man of about 20 walked up and stated I should learn to control my child. I snapped back, I was in control that’s why he was acting this way.

When a child has impulse problems there is more than just the “fit” happening, there is a power struggle going on. The struggle isn’t just between parent and child but also within the child for self control. The issues of who is in charge and who will win, come down to the parents ability to not back down and at times endure the embarrassment of others frowning upon them with intolerance, without knowledge of what is really happening.

If a child’s behavior (tantrum) affects your happiness then I suggest either walk away or offer to help. Not all children are lucky enough to come into the world perfect and without flaws; some have metal disabilities that aren’t easily seen to a stranger passing by. Passing judgments on both the child and the parent without true knowledge is ignorance on the one judging.

From the parent of three boys all perfect in their own way.

~jesi~

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 4:39:32 PM

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Just to tie the two parts of the thread together. I hate people who do not have, nor deal with anyone who does have, a particular mental disorder feel the need to comment on it because they can read a book. Books will never tell you what we go through. Nor should you be frightened of us. Nor should you feel sorry for us. Either learn about it from multiple sources including people who have it, or seriously, just keep walking.
~sin
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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 4:54:27 PM

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Let us not forget the people who hold a reunion, conversation or something else while blocking the entire aisle except for 6-8 inches on each side.
Or the family or group of friends who all walk side by side down the aisle s l o w l y occasionally stopping so one can look at something. Of course any of the afore mentioned folks will be offended if you say anything or try to get past them.

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 4:54:57 PM

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Asher, please understand that i really like and respect you. You are one of the people whose posts i look for because you comment intellengently on many subjects. (plus you are just funny. esp. that 'i'm going to eat you both' thing)
I don't necessarilly have any problem with what you did. We live in the real world. Children should learn to deal with a variety of people. Words do not actually hurt. ect, ect.
That said, you and i have very differant opinions about parenting, perhaps, and, if so, that is just okay, too.
The proper way to handle a tot having a temper tantrum is to let them have it. To ignore it. To let them learn, very clearly, that it changes NOTHING. You can't make mom mad. You can't get mom frustrated. You can't make a shopping trip you are tired of end when you want it to.
Now, if I had been the parent standing there patiently while my kid had a tantrum, there were a few things you MIGHT have seen, depending on if it came up; some more things you would not have seen, but they still happened, and effected the overall childtraining happening.
If the child is actually in danger to themselves, other people (even a minor annoyance like kicking someone) or property, i will bodily pick them up, ignore them kicking me, and move them to where it is safe for them to throw their temper tantrum, without risk of getting hurt, hurting anyone or breaking anything. If they are taking it out on ME - well, at home, if i was sure they were in a safe place, i would walk away. In a another place, where i could not walk away, i might restrain them safely - like taking off their shoes if they are kicking me.
Later, when we leave the store, it is likely that i will lie. Once we are in the car and they are calm, i will probably say something like, 'I was planning to stop at McDonalds for lunch, but now i can't, because you threw a temper tantrum. Oh, well, let's go home and get lunch, i guess.'
I will hold a child when their temper tantrum is ending. A temper tantrum to a two year old feels like an anxiety attack to us. This is why it is so important to provide enough boundries so that they can gain control and not have them - because they don't like them, and they are horrible. When you give in to a temper tantrum - even by letting it be clear it effects you, getting angry, or having to change your routine - you set the stage for them to repeat over and over, and, really, how horrible is that for the child.
If we are anywhere where i can identify any 'known' person that we will see again, - a grandparent or friends house, a clerk at a store we go to regularly that we are used to saying hi to - anything - the child will appologize later, on a return trip, for their behavoir, because that reinforces the self-responsibility.
My children did not throw tantrums past the age of speaking. I babysit for my best friends sons, who were severly ADHD, and they did, and trust me, i know this is a hard row to hoe, for the parent, discipline wise, but i also know it works, and is worth it. I have even done it proffessonally with very challenging children. they catch on that this bhehavoir does not work - that it gets no reaction - and that you are empathetic to how horrible it is for them to lose control like that- and they outgrow the behavoir with that support.

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 5:04:47 PM

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while all of that is probably true... and valid...

if some kid's screaming next to me and i need to be there for whatever reason... there's no reason i should have to sit there and just DEAL with your parenting decisions. you have to expect some people will lash out, and while i don't agree with yelling at the child, i'd be one of the first to say something to the parent. (no i don't have my own children, i was 13 and 15 respectively when my brother and sister were born. i've been through it already)
sin

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 5:16:16 PM

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Yes, Sin, did you notice that i said at the begining that i did not necessarilly disagree with Asher's behavoir?
Children are actual people, and citizens. They have a right to be out and about in the world, and, because they are children, sometimes they misbehave. You do not, imo, have the right to expect me to change my parenting decisions based on your convenice. I have a responsiblity to train my children. I don't know what is best for you - you may never run into me after the one time, who knows? - but it is better over all if my child learns to control themselves and not have such tempertantrums, then if i make sure you don't have to hear this one. There are exceptions, of couse, but those aren't really exceptions, because they feed into the same attitude of teaching the child self responsibility. I would remove my child from a theater, for instance - those other people paid to see a film, and you (the child) have no right to disturb them. If the child was in there with me, he probably wanted to see the film, and now he is not going to, because, just because you calm down, does not mean we are going back in there. See the difference? Throw a tantrum while doing things you didn't want to do - being in the boring old bank, grocery, hardware store - and the only effect is we go strait home AFTER the errands are done, without stoping at the park or McDonalds or whereever. Throw a tantrum while doing something the kid wants to do - the movies, park, a child's party - and strait home we go.
But if i am in a store and someone says something about the tantrum, i would just tell my child that when you act like that people tend to get upset with you. I might tell them, 'it would be better to chose better language, but he was upset, and he did not' If you called my child a specific name, said they were a horrible person, i would no doubt tell my child that it was not true. but, this is the real world - a few words are not an actual threat, words don't hurt, and there is nothing wrong with a child finding out that the behavoir you choose effects other people's - even total strangers - perceptions of you and behavoir towards you. (this thread is so doomed.)

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 5:22:06 PM

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i never put a store full of people through the disciplining of my child. if they were acting up, sometimes i'd just park my grocery cart and walk out with them. i didn't ever think it was right to make complete strangers listen to my kids scream.

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 5:38:01 PM

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honestly, tsatske i've been sick all week and barely remember my own name, by the end of the post, no i forgot that i'd read that... however, i basically was saying that my first course of action would be the mother, i just don't like anyone children don't know yelling at them... i'm gonna go away before i keep helping doom this thread lol

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 5:56:36 PM

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Sin, Honey, the thing dooming this thread is that it is against TOS to admit on these boards that short people exist on the planet. Mshrug<
Sorry you have been sick. Hope you feel better soon. I will see if i can send you over some of that chicken soup with chicken tonails in it mentioned in the food hard limits thread. (I really do have a recipe for that - for chicken soup with real chicken foots in it. supposed to make you feel much better, so i hear. i never have tried it.)

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 5:57:37 PM

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My favorite works best in the large box stores or the grocery store..I stare at them intently like a steak I am contemplating buying and mutter clearly..

"Must get Dog Food"

as for children out of control..I have no shame in turning to the manager of a store as saying that the patron with the out of control child needs a place she can speak privately with that child BEFORE other shoppers leave tired of all the screaming and tantrums. This also works in restaurants.

Managers do have the power to request a patron leave until their child can behave. A Good Manager or Host will do so without prompting.

and Yes..cashiers can refuse to serve a patron with more than the number items set for an express lane if the store is busy. They simple have to say... I am sorry would you please move to Cashier ..etc. this lane is reserved for # items or less.

Poenkitten (who can be downright evil when she wants to be)

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RE: Okay, so I really have no tolerence for some types ... - 6/13/2008 6:04:37 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Saratov

Let us not forget the people who hold a reunion, conversation or something else while blocking the entire aisle except for 6-8 inches on each side.

Or those who for some godless reason seem to think that walking in the street is preferable to using the sidewalk. I fight the urge to run them over every time they just stand there looking at the 3100 lb car that just screetched to a halt to wait for them to move their lazy street hogging asses out of the way. One ay one of them is going to be hit by a car turning onto the street too fast and they are going to blame everyone BUT the person standing in the middle of the street talking to their friends while yakking on their cell phone at the same time.

Poenkitten

(in reply to Saratov)

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