|
chickpea -> RE: "Gift" of submission? (6/29/2008 3:12:55 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: SocialPerversion
quote:
ORIGINAL: Leatherist
Perhaps you also heard the phrase "indian giver" as a child?
Know what it means?
Sorry, that last post should have been in reply to Quin not you, I pressed the wrong reply button.
As for the subject, yes I am aware what "Indian giver" means and was made aware of it at an early age. Growing up in a splintered family with several older step brothers "gifts" always had hidden motives attached to them.
I can understand both the “it’s a gift” and the “it’s not a gift” sides of the argument, and I think primarily it comes down to personal interpretation of both the relationship and the term used, something that I don’t think either side will ever be able to truly accept.
~~conquer4love~~
Trust is a gift, and should NOT be forced and screamed "Indian Giver" and be socially ostricized for giving it and then taking it back. If at anytime the sub does not see the dom as trustworthy, then she has a right to retract it. This will require a tremendous amount of history of trust, base of reasons to trust, and sub maturity to not burn the Dom and retract the trust when the Dom is actually trustworthy--that is WHY IT IS HARD WORK BEING A SUB. Trust from the submissive should always be appreciated, to ensure that the Dom knows the importance of ALWAYS acting trustworthy. Trust is EARNED, and not an ENTITLEMENT. (period)
...this is for a healthy, power exchange relationship.
if it's for a "I don't care about myself, do whatever you want with me as a sub for x amount of time" ...sort-of-relationship, then trust is not a gift, rather something that should be forced out of the submissive, by making fun of her if she doesn't give it. (lol)
------
erhm? blowfish? (to quiet the sub, for inconveniencing the Dom.... rather than joining her in the process getting at the truth...important in developing a very strong enough relationship to support a true power exchange relationship)
projecting? (to shame the sub to not examine and learn the past, by claiming that she's mentally dellusional confusing ex's with him *cough*)
attacking as a whipping boy? (cuz the Dom is lazy to consider what healthy power exchange actually is, because he's just a fake Dom using BDSM as a means of getting laid, too sensitive to sub opinions and not focused on his own (which doesn't matter anyway because he has none of his own opinions except that of wanting to get laid without the hassle of dealing with a woman as an individual) ...not a good sign when looking for a real dominant *cough*
I'm really sorry about your failed attempts at manipulation and social ostricization to shame them into blind obedience and continue getting conveniently laid by submissives without question. *grin*
Trust is difficult, if anyone has ever put their heart and soul out there for someone in a true and meaningful way (not in the casual, let's just get laid way...) ... and should not be treated as "Making Mountains out of Mole Hills"... maybe to some guys who always act trustworthy, discussing trust is just too extreme and inconvenient, but this is the internet which spans the entire spectrum of men.
|
|
|
|
