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RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 12:35:50 PM   
Luciferica


Posts: 231
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

Ahh you need to read my original Post that says I am Alergic to Latex and have a sever reaction to the coating used on ALL non latex condoms, I could use sheep Skin but then I am still open to 1/3 of all the usual diseases and I personally think it's disgusting.

So I just take my chances and the risk.

Truth is the only way to be safe is to Practice Abstnance Or with someone you have already fulid bonded with and know they are not partisipating in sexual activities with anyone else and are completely STD free.

Personally I think the STD Nazi's are just so scared of disease period they want to cut out all possibilities. Which acording to the CDC means walking outside or Breathing the Air Inside your home now.

So to be REALLY safe People .... Stop Breathing.

Steel
The sheep ones gross me out too, and the reaction from the latex ones was usually as horrible as having an STD, but I still used them until I married, now I don't worry about it, we have a lead based form of protection, namely, if he's with another woman I'll shoot him...

_____________________________

We always hurt the ones we love, the difference is how much they enjoy it.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 12:40:27 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
xxblushesxx

Ahhhh because you are Fluid Bonded allready however if he gets a Tattoo, gets Cut, gets Bled on, Has ANY KIND of Fluid Transfer WHATSO EVER you are no longer safe.

So that you know Vally Hospital in Las Vegas Nevada had infected over 1000 people with HepC because they were saving money and reusing needles. THIS WAS A HOSPITAL

Anytime you come into contact with Bodily Fluids, Blood, Spit, Saliva, Urine or Scat you have now had a possible infection even though you and your Mate are Fluidf Bonded this is only Valid as long as there is ZERO Outside Fluid Contact You are no more safe than I am, you just have less outless for new infection.

You run the risk of being infected with a LETHAL Disease everytime you come into contact with another human being and stistically it increases the more safe you try to be. In Example for you go to the Hospital alot you are 4 times more likely to be infected in a waiting room then anywhere else because waiting rooms is where sick people go and often leave their germs on EVERYTHING.

Steel

< Message edited by SteelofUtah -- 6/18/2008 12:45:59 PM >


_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 12:43:05 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

quote:

ORIGINAL:
But that's just me.


Again, I'm not advocating being promiscuous, having sex without condoms, or ignoring the risks.  It's the attitude of "fine, go fuck your life up, see if I care" responses that irk me.

Stephan



You just picked up on my most disliked phrase used on these forums. 'But that's just me'.
It implies so much negativity while pretending to lift whoever says it levels above the masses or those unfortunate enough to continue with whatever behavior the 'just me' isn't into.
To me it reads almost like a fuck-off-I'm-so-much-better-than-you.

Why it is assumed that people having sex do so unprotected escapes me.

If they are not protecting themselves IMO that is a risky act but it is their act. I stay protected and I'm willing to bet that others stay protected as well.


_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 12:45:22 PM   
Luciferica


Posts: 231
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

Ahhhh because you are Fluid Bonded allready however if he gets a Tattoo, gets Cut, gets Bled on, Has ANY KIND of Fluid Transfer WHATSO EVER you are no longer safe.

So that you know Vally Hospital in Las Vegas Nevada had invested over 1000 people with HepC because they were saving money and reusing needles. THIS WAS A HOSPITAL

Anytime you come into contact with Bodily Fluids, Blood, Spit, Saliva, Urine or Scat you have now had a possible infection even though you and your Mate are Fluidf Bonded this is only Valid as long as there is ZERO Outside Fluid Contact You are no more safe than I am, you just have less outless for new infection.

You run the risk of being infected with a LETHAL Disease everytime you come into contact with another human being and stistically it increases the more safe you try to be. In Example for you go to the Hospital alot you are 4 times more likely to be infected in a waiting room then anywhere else because waiting rooms is where sick people go and often leave their germs on EVERYTHING.

Steel
Thats why I've avoided hospitals sice I've been married and carry germ-x and lysol even in my own home. However if he or I were to contract it by a mistake of others, than I would prefer to have it the same as he does, if he is miserable, I would rather be alongside him than worry every day about being able to touch him...but if he contracted it through a fault of his own...than he would be shot and disappear off the face of this earth.

_____________________________

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(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 12:46:04 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I disagree.
Why do you risk STD's every time you have sex?
I don't.
If I were to go out and find another partner, or if He were to, then we would be, but at this point we are not.


Because unless you keep him under lock and key, it's impossible to know, for certain, that he doesn't engage in sex outside of your relationship.

One of the strongest reasons I prefer open relationships, even if we weren't actually having sex with others, is that since the door is never locked, I'll always know when it's open.  Neither of us are 'forbidden, on pain of ending the relationship' from having sex with others.  Thus, I believe she is more likely to tell me when she is having sex with others, than to hide it.

Ultimately, it does come down to trust.  The better we can trust our partners to be honest with us, the better we can trust that we are safely fluid bonded.  Trust doesn't equate with erasing risk; it only minimizes risk.  Stating "I know he never has sex with others" may come from trust, but many people hold onto such statements in the face of all evidence to the contrary.

So, in the end, no matter how much you trust your fluid-bonded partner, there's always a risk that you'll contract an STD.  It's just like saying no matter how careful you are on the road, there's a risk you'll get in a car accident.

Stephan


_____________________________

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"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 12:50:03 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Luciferica

but if he contracted it through a fault of his own...than he would be shot and disappear off the face of this earth.


**Laughing**

Something tells me you have been cheated on before and you didn't care for it. So you carry a .38 or 9mm? remember none of them have real kill power just knock down I suggest you upgrade to a Desert Eagle .50 They have kill power.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Luciferica)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 12:50:48 PM   
Luciferica


Posts: 231
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I disagree.
Why do you risk STD's every time you have sex?
I don't.
If I were to go out and find another partner, or if He were to, then we would be, but at this point we are not.


Because unless you keep him under lock and key, it's impossible to know, for certain, that he doesn't engage in sex outside of your relationship.

One of the strongest reasons I prefer open relationships, even if we weren't actually having sex with others, is that since the door is never locked, I'll always know when it's open.  Neither of us are 'forbidden, on pain of ending the relationship' from having sex with others.  Thus, I believe she is more likely to tell me when she is having sex with others, than to hide it.

Ultimately, it does come down to trust.  The better we can trust our partners to be honest with us, the better we can trust that we are safely fluid bonded.  Trust doesn't equate with erasing risk; it only minimizes risk.  Stating "I know he never has sex with others" may come from trust, but many people hold onto such statements in the face of all evidence to the contrary.

So, in the end, no matter how much you trust your fluid-bonded partner, there's always a risk that you'll contract an STD.  It's just like saying no matter how careful you are on the road, there's a risk you'll get in a car accident.

Stephan


 
I do keep him under lock and key, he screwed around on his first wife so he knows that I don't trust him, and that my trust is earned by him every day. I know where he is and he dosen't go see friends and stuff without me. I do the same for him. however I do see where your coming from, and if your comfortable that way, great.

_____________________________

We always hurt the ones we love, the difference is how much they enjoy it.

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 12:53:38 PM   
somethndif


Posts: 136
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann


I didn't want to further hijack that thread, so here's a new one.

I find that threads addressing sexual issues often include a great deal of venom from the STD nazis.  You know, the people who are terrified of sex, and use the fear of STDs as an excuse never to have it.

Yes, STDs are a risk.  So is getting out of bed in the morning.  AIDS statistics are often used to say "SEE?  Have SEX and you'll DIE!"  Lets look at those numbers (source:  Center for Disease Control)

According to the CDC, between the years of 2003 and 2006, an average of about 4,000 men and 7,400 women per year contracted HIV through high risk heterosexual contact in the United States.  At a total of 11,400, that's nearly half the number of people who die of falls (19,656), homocide (18,124), and almost three times fewer than people who commit suicide (32,637.  (Source: National Vital Statistics Report, 2007)  More men will die at work this year (4,670) than contract HIV.  I don't see anyone campaigning against going to work, because you might die.

Other STDs are certainly a risk; yet they rarely result in fatality.  Only 47 people were reported killed by syphilis. 

I'm not saying that STDs should be ignored; I'm saying that using inflated and skewered statistics to push a moral agenda are neither helpful, nor fair.  People who know what risks they take in any activity have every right to enjoy their lives in whatever fashion they choose.  If you choose to smoke, drink, go to work, drive, visit the doctor, walk down the street, or have sex, you're taking a risk.  Knowing what risks you're taking, and choosing to accept the consequences of those actions is part of being a responsible adult.  Pushing moral agendas based on ignorance and propaganda is just as bad as ignoring risks all together.

 
Stephan, you will find this article interesting.
 
Dan
 
"The Exploitation of AIDS"
The AIDS scare was one of the most distorted, duplicitous and cynical public health panics of the last 30 years
 Brendan O'Neill- The Guardianhttp://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/jun/12/aids.health 
Finally we have a high-level admission that there is no threat of a global Aids pandemic among heterosexuals. After 25 years of official scaremongering about western societies being ravaged by the disease – with salacious, tombstone-illustrated government propaganda warning people to wear a condom or "die of ignorance" – the head of the World Health Organisation's HIV/Aids department says there is no need for heterosexuals to fret.

Kevin de Cock, who has headed the global battle against Aids, said at the weekend that, outside very poor African countries, Aids is confined to "high-risk groups", including men who have sex with men, injecting drug users, and sex workers. And even in these communities it remains quite rare. "It is very unlikely there will be a heterosexual epidemic in countries [outside sub-Saharan Africa]", he said. In other words? All that hysterical fearmongering about Aids spreading among sexed-up western youth was a pack of lies.

Much of the media has treated Dr De Cock's admission as a startling revelation. In truth, experts have known for many years that in the vast majority of the world, Aids has little impact on the "general population". In her new book The Wisdom of Whores, Elizabeth Pisani – who worked for 10 years in what she refers to as "the Aids bureaucracy" – admits that by 1998 it was clear that "HIV wasn't going to rage through the billions in the 'general population', and we knew it".

Some people knew it earlier. In 1987, my friend and colleague Dr Michael Fitzpatrick wrote a fiery pamphlet titled The Truth About the Aids Panic. At the height of the Conservative government's scary tombstone campaign ("Don't die of ignorance"), he wrote: "There is no good evidence that Aids is likely to spread rapidly in the West among heterosexuals." In Britain, most of the small-scale spread of "heterosexual Aids" has been a result of infected individuals arriving from Africa. In the UK in the whole of the 1980s – the decade of the Great Aids Panic – there were 20 cases of HIV acquired through heterosexual contact with an individual infected in Europe.
And it isn't the case that the heterosexual pandemic failed to materialise because officialdom's omnipresent pro-condom propaganda was a success. According to James Chin, a clinical professor of epidemiology at the University of California at Berkeley and author of the new book The Aids Pandemic, it was always a "glorious myth" that there would be an "HIV epidemic in general populations". That myth was the product of "misunderstanding or deliberate distortions of HIV epidemiology" by Unaids and other Aids activists, says Chin.

It is time to recognise that the Aids scare was one of the most distorted, duplicitous and cynical public health panics of the past 30 years. Instead of being treated as a sexually transmitted disease that affected certain high-risk communities, and which should be vociferously tackled by the medical authorities, the "war against Aids" was turned into moral crusade.

Both Conservative and New Labour governments exploited the disease to create a new moral framework for society. Through baseless fearmongering, officials sought to police and regulate the behaviour of the public. No longer able to appeal to outdated Victorian ideals of chastity or restraint, the powers-that-be used the spectre of an Aids calamity to terrify us into behaving "responsibly" in sexual and social matters.
They were aided and abetted by the rump of the radical left. Gay rights campaigners, feminists and left-leaning health and social workers stood shoulder-to-shoulder, first with the Tories and later with Labour, in spreading the "glorious myth" of a possible future Aids pandemic. An unholy alliance of old-style, prudish conservatives and post-radical, lifestyle-obsessed leftists latched on to Aids as a disease that might provide them with a sense of moral purpose.

And they ruthlessly sought to silence anyone who questioned them. Those who challenged the idea that Aids would devour sexually promiscuous young people and transform once-civilised western societies into diseased dystopias were denounced as "Aids deniers" and "heretics". Anyone who suggested that homosexuals were at greater risk than heterosexuals – and therefore the focus of government funding and, where necessary, medical assistance should be in gay communities – was denounced as homophobic. Nothing could be allowed to stand in the way of the glorious moral effort to make everyone submit to the sexual and moral conformism of the Aids crusaders.

Even in Africa – where there is a serious and deadly Aids crisis in some countries – the international focus on Aids has been motivated more by pernicious moralism than straightforward charity. Diseases such as malaria and tuberculosis are bigger killers than Aids. Yet focusing on Aids allows western governments and NGOs to lecture Africans about their morality and personal behaviour. It also adds a new gloss to the misanthropic population-control arguments of western charities, which now present their promotion of condoms in "overly fecund" Africa as a means of preventing the spread of disease.

The relentless politicisation and moralisation of Aids has not only distorted public understanding of the disease and generated unnecessary fear and angst – it has also potentially cost lives. James Chin estimates that UNAIDS wastes around $1bn a year in activities such as "raising awareness" about Aids and preventing the emergence of the disease in communities that are at little risk. How many lives could that kind of money save, if it were used to develop drugs and deliver them to infected or at-risk communities? It is time people treated Aids as a normal disease, rather than as an opportunity for spreading their own moral agendas.

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 12:53:46 PM   
Luciferica


Posts: 231
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

quote:

ORIGINAL: Luciferica

but if he contracted it through a fault of his own...than he would be shot and disappear off the face of this earth.


**Laughing**

Something tells me you have been cheated on before and you didn't care for it. So you carry a .38 or 9mm? remember none of them have real kill power just knock down I suggest you upgrade to a Desert Eagle .50 They have kill power.

Steel


LOL...all I need is knockdown, tying him to a tree in the deep woods and using him as a crossbow target and letting the wildlife slowly eat peices of him is a more fitting death. Yes, I had a partner who cheated and no I didn't care for it.

_____________________________

We always hurt the ones we love, the difference is how much they enjoy it.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 12:55:08 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Luciferica

I do keep him under lock and key, he screwed around on his first wife so he knows that I don't trust him, and that my trust is earned by him every day. I know where he is and he dosen't go see friends and stuff without me. I do the same for him. however I do see where your coming from, and if your comfortable that way, great.


I am glad this works for you but with my personal views on trust I could never be in that kind of situation because truth be told you will never trust him ever, he is unable to earn your trust of this because the first time he does something and you don't believe it you will go to him being unfaithful. Maybe I'm wrong on that but in my mind Trust can NEVER be earned it can only be given freely and lost completely.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Luciferica)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 12:58:32 PM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline
fast reply

does the happy dance!! you wouldn't believe the number of times that i've had collegues essentially tell me that i'm the anti-christ for this same argument. yes STDs are a risk, yes you can catch them, yes it would suck if you did catch one. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean that you can't enjoy yourself while you're still alive, and yes there are distinct reasons why, for example, all of sudden you would think we're going to die from herpes from the way it's being pushed on television. i'm not a big foucalt fan but i'm with him on this one -- one of the best way to control a society is tell them that there's something wrong with their bodies and sit back and watch what happens. STDs are just experiencing an upsurge again as the method of choice-- similar to the victorian arguments against prostitution. the bottom line is that if you're safe and know your partners status EVEN if you're monogamous (shit happens), then you're probably going to be fine.


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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 1:00:40 PM   
Luciferica


Posts: 231
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

quote:

ORIGINAL: Luciferica

I do keep him under lock and key, he screwed around on his first wife so he knows that I don't trust him, and that my trust is earned by him every day. I know where he is and he dosen't go see friends and stuff without me. I do the same for him. however I do see where your coming from, and if your comfortable that way, great.


I am glad this works for you but with my personal views on trust I could never be in that kind of situation because truth be told you will never trust him ever, he is unable to earn your trust of this because the first time he does something and you don't believe it you will go to him being unfaithful. Maybe I'm wrong on that but in my mind Trust can NEVER be earned it can only be given freely and lost completely.

Steel
I feel that trust can be earned, but he and I talk alot about everything and there have been events where he has had to explain himself, but as long as the story jives and he can look me in the eye everything is okay. I guess saying I don't trust him at all is a bit extreme, I just tend to ask more questions more frequently and pop in on him more often at work. He has never given me a reason to doubt what he says and I can check up on/after him.

_____________________________

We always hurt the ones we love, the difference is how much they enjoy it.

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 1:07:40 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Luciferica

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

quote:

ORIGINAL: Luciferica

I do keep him under lock and key, he screwed around on his first wife so he knows that I don't trust him, and that my trust is earned by him every day. I know where he is and he dosen't go see friends and stuff without me. I do the same for him. however I do see where your coming from, and if your comfortable that way, great.


I am glad this works for you but with my personal views on trust I could never be in that kind of situation because truth be told you will never trust him ever, he is unable to earn your trust of this because the first time he does something and you don't believe it you will go to him being unfaithful. Maybe I'm wrong on that but in my mind Trust can NEVER be earned it can only be given freely and lost completely.

Steel
I feel that trust can be earned, but he and I talk alot about everything and there have been events where he has had to explain himself, but as long as the story jives and he can look me in the eye everything is okay. I guess saying I don't trust him at all is a bit extreme, I just tend to ask more questions more frequently and pop in on him more often at work. He has never given me a reason to doubt what he says and I can check up on/after him.


I am sorry if this hijacks, (maybe I can wind my way around to STD's somehow) but this strikes me as your issue. Not that he is untrustworthy but that you are unable to trust.
If he hasn't brought home crabs to you so far (oooh clever huh?? , got the topic back) why do you remain convinced that he needs to be checked up on?




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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 1:11:36 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
Ditto.  I think trust is earned, and that trust takes time.  Different people are wired for things differently; we all have unique personalities and expectations.

My slave and I discussed fidelity, monogamy, and our expecations of a relationship before we met in person.  We found that we had very similar (though not identical) expectations, and thus feel compatible in our relationship.  I don't worry about her cheating on me, and I don't want to worry that if I feel attracted to another woman, that I need to hide it from her.  Obviously, it doesn't work for everyone, but it does work for us.

Stephan


_____________________________

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"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to Luciferica)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 1:13:56 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
Well, He is a medical professional who knows the risks, and is extremely honest with His dealings with me.
Even if it hurt me, He would tell me; that's the kind of person He is.
It's why I am not taking a risk when I am with Him.
We were both tested before being together, and haven't had encounters with anyone else since.
I find the statement that without taking the risk of std's that our race would not survive a bit off.
I don't believe EVERY person is risking an std EVERY time they have sex.
I'd like to see a medical citation that says so. (preferably from the AMA)

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 1:17:28 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

I am sorry if this hijacks, (maybe I can wind my way around to STD's somehow) but this strikes me as your issue. Not that he is untrustworthy but that you are unable to trust.
If he hasn't brought home crabs to you so far (oooh clever huh?? , got the topic back) why do you remain convinced that he needs to be checked up on?


To be fair, if I was involved with a compulsive gambler, and made it clear to her that it wasn't something I'd tolerate in our relationship from day one, and it was something she genuinely wanted to change for her, then I would be much more aggressive in asking hard questions about what she's doing, when, and where.  Things like "how're you feeling?  Have you wanted to go gambling at all?" might be met with hostility, but if I ask in a frank and honest way, it's how I can get her to share her frustrations and when she's feeling weak, she'll trust me not to judge her while still keeping a firm grip on her so she doesn't just slip away for a 'few hours' with a girlfriend and end up at a casino for three days.

So long as the rules are clear and in place from the start, and change by mutual consensus, then I think it's fine.  For my part, I wouldn't want a relationship with a woman where I felt I needed to visit her at work, to make sure she's not cheating on me.  I'm not judging anyone who does; I just don't feel sexual fidelity is important; for me, I'm wired to emotional fidelity (in that I don't seek out relationships with other women behind my partners' back.)

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 1:20:12 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
I see a difference between a compulsive gambler and someone who screwed around in a previous relationship.

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 1:22:17 PM   
Luciferica


Posts: 231
Joined: 3/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

quote:

ORIGINAL: Luciferica

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

quote:

ORIGINAL: Luciferica

I do keep him under lock and key, he screwed around on his first wife so he knows that I don't trust him, and that my trust is earned by him every day. I know where he is and he dosen't go see friends and stuff without me. I do the same for him. however I do see where your coming from, and if your comfortable that way, great.


I am glad this works for you but with my personal views on trust I could never be in that kind of situation because truth be told you will never trust him ever, he is unable to earn your trust of this because the first time he does something and you don't believe it you will go to him being unfaithful. Maybe I'm wrong on that but in my mind Trust can NEVER be earned it can only be given freely and lost completely.

Steel
I feel that trust can be earned, but he and I talk alot about everything and there have been events where he has had to explain himself, but as long as the story jives and he can look me in the eye everything is okay. I guess saying I don't trust him at all is a bit extreme, I just tend to ask more questions more frequently and pop in on him more often at work. He has never given me a reason to doubt what he says and I can check up on/after him.


I am sorry if this hijacks, (maybe I can wind my way around to STD's somehow) but this strikes me as your issue. Not that he is untrustworthy but that you are unable to trust.
If he hasn't brought home crabs to you so far (oooh clever huh?? , got the topic back) why do you remain convinced that he needs to be checked up on?



I generally don't check unless he gives me a reason, and your right, it is hard for me to trust, I have come from some horrible relationships. But in order to learn to trust again I feel better knowing I can verify facts if I need to. He is very patient and understanding and very helpful. Maybe it's not so much that he is earning my trust as teaching me that I can indeed trust someone...It's hard to say if thats earning trust or not. But I went from checking on him every day constantly worrying to once in a blue moon stopping in at work. I feel it has imporoved.

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(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 1:25:03 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
blushes,

This isn't a conversation about your relationship; in fact, I'd rather not know if your man is cheating on you.  I don't expect, or even care if you agree with my position; I am stating positively that it is impossible to know, for a fact, if a person is faithful or not short of being kept secluded under lock and key.  The vast number of divorce cases on the grounds of unfaithfulness tell me just how unrealistic your claim of "he's never cheated on me" because it seems likely you wouldn't still be with him if you knew he had.

Stephan


< Message edited by Stephann -- 6/18/2008 1:30:04 PM >


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(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: STDs, - 6/18/2008 1:25:16 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
We're about to Hijack this thread.

STD's

As for xxblushesxx I cannot find an exact citation that reads the way you want it to however if you type in STD's and VD's and AMA into Google you will get a LOT of sites that inform you that if you and your mate to not use a condom everytime then you are not safe and there is a risk even a small one that you could be infected with an STD/VD the worst form would be a Genetic type that waits till Maturity to infect and guess what they aren't always tested for.

he could be a Carrier of a Disease that you have built an immunity too because of the mild strains but could infect a child that you may have.

The point in Blushes is that you are not as safe as it seems you think you are. Just because you too are committed to one another does not mean you are risk free.

Steel

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(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 40
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