Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive Page: <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/28/2008 9:32:06 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline
I believe so in a case by case basis. But then I don't know many mentally ill people except my Daddy dom, and even with his chornic depression, suicidal tendancies and parinoia he can stand up for himself and tell you when you're violating his rights and his space.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pagankinktress

I understand what you're saying blackbeard, but my question to throw back out to you is: would a person with clinical mental illness necessarily be able to articulate or be fully aware of being inappropirately violated?  Please bear in mind, I throw this out loosely, because based on the OP's presentation of the case, I am only assuming there were underlying mental health issues in the participants of that situation. 

And who determines what is inappropriate?

(in reply to pagankinktress)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/28/2008 9:41:07 PM   
wwwkevinww


Posts: 276
Joined: 7/15/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww
I'm sorry......Your not amusing....

It must suck to live in such an unfair world -- a world where the bitches on this thread are so fucking dumb they give props to incoherent losers like me, and only your new long-haired boyfriend is brilliant enough to recognize your genius.

I may be incoherent, and wrong... but my world doesn't suck.

I'm working right now, because I'm flying to a date on Tuesday.  Why are you spending Saturday night typing ugly things about women on a message board?



I'm sorry, are you going on a date to get your world sucked or not?

My world sucking doesn't sound that bad actually......

Hopefully whoever is sucking you off isn't so lame as to bite it off, because my world sucking and your world sucking might be two completely different worlds.  ;0

Tell jokes while she is sucking you off........that seems like a smart thing for you to do......Hopefully you don't talk about how you love amputation or anything along that while your getting sucked off......

Oh, btw, how much are you paying amy to suck you off?  ;0

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/28/2008 9:46:43 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
You didn't answer my question.  I think you're spewing acid on a Saturday night because you are bitter and alone.

About that "pay" thing -- I have friends in the sex industry.  Do you have any friends at all?


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to wwwkevinww)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/28/2008 9:50:56 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww

There is a question of surviving.  If it comes down to surviving, and I cannot find anything to eat, and its a choice of dying or eating a person, I'll be eating a person......its no longer about morality, its about survival...


That is one of the differences between us: for me, morality most certainly applies to survival.

On occasions where my morality conflicts with survival, I act in line with my morality.

For you, eating someone in that scenario might be morally wrong, but you'd still act contrarily to your morals to survive. For me, I would hunt outside any community I had any loyalty to until that became impossible, then I'd subdivide the community in line with the principle of concentric circles of loyalty until only me and mine were left. At that point, certain promises come into play and place the decisions in other people's hands.

quote:

When its not about survival, its just completely wrong to consider it in any glorified light......


Again, some substantiation to make this anything more than mere opinion might be good. As for opinions, as far as I'm concerned, there's nothing wrong with it that isn't covered by other aspects of morality, such as whatever points might cover assault, killing, etc. in your morality of choice.

And there's plenty of circumstances where those fly in mine, such as consent.

quote:

Amputation is a travesty of the flesh.......


Travesty, eh... such a laden word. It amply conveys your emotions about it, in the same manner as I might- for some specific acts- use words like "hot" or "transcendental." But those aren't generally applied, since I usually try to stick to the more objective side of such controversial topics. I note that others would agree with my assessment, though. Opinions make for poor debate, so perphaps you could supply a line of reasoning instead?

quote:

so, tell me how you cut your fingers off and tell me how it rationally makes sense, and you can explain then explain that to a psychiatrist, and explain how you won't do this again in the future?


I've never cut my fingers off. I have no attraction to cutting off parts of myself.

I have some interests along those lines when it comes to the opposite sex.

As for psychiatrists, I've had a few evaluations over the years from experts, due to an accident in the ER. I've also had a brain scan done. It's all normal. Nothing wrong. The psychiatrists are generally befuddled and pass me on to the professors and doctorates, who tend to admire me for my exactingly rational thought patterns, surprisingly accurate and detailed introspection, and extensive knowledge of how the human mind and brain work.

Quite frequently, the outcome has been that me and the psychiatric personell involved have come out of it with each of us knowing more about the psychiatric profession, cognitive sciences and pharmacology than we did when I came in. And it is not a rare outcome for these professionals to come out of it with their horizons broadened by a man who is able to articulate points of view that they had never considered, and place those within a framework they are familiar with and able to relate to.

In short: I pass with flying colors, and often stay in touch on a non-professional level.

Yet I would not mind a medium rare cunt filet, if one was offered.

Explaining that to a closed mind, however, is vaguely reminiscent of trying to fistfuck someone who isn't ready for it: I could do it, in most cases, but the consequences of doing so would be damages that I would not care to inflict. In the analogy, those are consequences of the tearing, interrupted blood flow, and so forth. In the case of the mind, they are the consequences of needing to introduce sufficient dissonance that it collapses part or all of a person's worldview. In both cases, it require the person to actually sit still, or be restrained.

I refrain from the former because it's simply not worth the jail time.

I refrain from the latter because I respect the human mind.

quote:

you want rational or you want fake.....


I generally pick rational. Most of the time, if someone is too irrational, my interactions with them can only be productive in ways whose productivity is counterbalanced by the negative consequences it would have for me and/or those I care about. Thus, picking someone reasonably rational makes sense for me.

As for fake, that is like porn: sometimes good for transient amusement, no more.

quote:

I'm going to be calling for the straight-jacket.....


Any time you want to.
I know where the ward is.
Have friends who work there.
I help them with the difficult cases.
Hell, I helped one pass his psych exams.

quote:

So, yo asking for a rubber room or not?


First off, we don't use padded cells here, but rather employ padded restraints or major tranquilizers, since these are generally both more effective and less stigmatizing for the patient. Second, I have no use for a rubber room, and I know full well what it will take to end up in one, and have no intention of ever doing so.

What I am still waiting for is a rational line of reasoning from you.

Do not expect me to hold my breath, though.

I don't do breath play, either.

Health,
al-Aswad.

P.S.: I take it you will not be accepting the bet, then?


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to wwwkevinww)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/28/2008 10:08:01 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww

sorry, I'm very judgemental about certain things.  I have love for humans, but if your no longer human and a savage, you need to be protected from yourself....

if your going to go waving your 9 fingers in my face and say see what I did with a big grin on your face singing koom-ba----ya......I'm going to be calling for the straight-jacket.....

It doesn't take more than one person to find it wrong to be wrong......tell me your 9 finger amy, I dare ya.....

I'm not the only one here who knows the difference between right and wrong.....






i used to be right........i remember those glory days.....but it turns out i was wrong.

i hope one day you will know the joy and freedom of being wrong too....



_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to wwwkevinww)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/28/2008 10:09:58 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww

You know what bothers me the most about this, is that people glorify stupidity.


If you don't like it, don't do it.

quote:

Its one thing to make a valuable sacrifice to your country and lose body parts in a war, etc [...] but to do it for the things you stated is just point blank wrong....


In short, what you're saying is that it's okay to do it for something one believes in...

... so long as that something is the same as you believe in?

quote:

I hear the nazi's made tons of lamp shades from the skin of humans, hey, "its only flesh"........


You are referring to the goatskin lampshades in the possession of Mrs. Ilse Koch.

There were indeed trophies, and the lady was indeed a sexual sadist who did not have a problem with exploiting the situation for her pleasure. If the situation had not been as it was, and she had been on this site, you can bet there would be subs lining up for her. And you can bet there are people like her on this site. That is what sadism is- not the kink or fetish of pain play, but the joy of inflicting.

If you bother to study it, you will find that it is something we humans share with a lot of other mammals. And you may also find that there are distinct roots for it in evolutionary psychology that explain how this is an intrinsic and perhaps even neccessary part of the psyche, which can nonetheless be harnessed in constructive ways that do not remotely resemble the excesses of Mrs. Koch.

Further, some of the source material, you will find in books bound in human skin.

These can be found in just about any major library, and are highly treasured. Most of them are from people who have donated their skin to the purpose. Some are from people who have had unfortunate encounters with cultures that did not have a problem with stripping their skin away for something that passed for an offense in the culture in question. The West has done worse, so it's no surprise.

Also, you will note that in the history of humankind, it is well documented that humans carry these instincts with them, and that they are able and willing to unleash them under some circumstances, generally during wartime or when an authority figure compels one to do so. If you think Nazi Germany was bad, have a look at Japan.

Finally, among one of the least criminal populations of the world, about 3% of the male population is convicted of rape by the age of 27. That should prove beyond a doubt that any objections to these darker aspects of our nature are thoroughly a part of it, and that they are not something to be brushed off lightly. It should also demonstrate that the constructed morality of the West (secular humanism, which is mostly based on the long tradition that flows back through Christianity, through Judaism, and back to Sumerian and general Mesopotamian religion) is at odds with human nature.

In light of this, it should be no surprise that some who reject other notions in that construct reject this one.

And in that, you have already crossed a line to accept your nature.

Why is it so hard to tolerate ours, then?

quote:

I'm sorry, flesh houses your soul, its not just flesh, its actually kind of important......um....duh....


My house happens to shelter me just fine. So does my apartment. I'm not attached to either. Both are, however, requisites for me to effectively honor commitments that I have willingly taken upon myself. As a consequence, I will oppose by any means necessary any attempt to part me with either.

Which is not to say I would refuse others the right to part with theirs.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to wwwkevinww)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/28/2008 11:26:30 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

aloha aswad, a pleasure to meet you,


And you, crouchingtigress.

quote:

i think you are right about the common misconception being that there is a mental illness, and i honestly do understand it....


I'm glad to hear that. It is indeed quite understandable, but I feel like I must try to make at least some passing attempt at addressing it. As you relate from your own experience, we all start out with views that are heavily influenced by our culture, and then some of us discover that there are things we had not considered, that have not been taken into account by that culture, but which are not at all unreasonable under closer examination.

While my posting has been less diplomatic than usual, I do still understand how that works and why, and I respect that. To not stand up for the minority view, however, is something that to me holds an association somewhat like the parent that shuts up and decides the kids will learn on their own when they grow up, not because they wouldn't prefer to see them skip some of the mistakes they themselves have made in groing up, but from the assumption that they will not get through to the kids. Not that I'm implying grand enlightenment or anything, merely that it's something that I believe I have devoted more time to thinking about than most.

Seeing as we're dealing with adults, I thus try at length to give the benefit of the doubt in assuming that getting through is a matter of explaining properly on my part, especially since I know that even if I fail to get through, some will read without posting, and among those, some will have gained a new point of view.

Certainly, my life has also taken some very unexpected turns, some related to BDSM, some not.

quote:

and in a way i suppose i was right, because i find myself, always going deeper, always pushing my own limits...


If I may suggest: going further.

Most, if not all, individuals that I hold in regard are ones who demonstrate that they are willing and able to grow. Such growth will take on very different forms from person to person. For the dedicated slave, it may be to grow ever more attuned to their role and the needs of those around them, for instance. For the priest, it may be to more fully understand the scope and ramifications of their faith. For a martial artist, to master the body. And so forth.

We each explore in our own way, try to learn more, to grow.

And, yes, to push our limits, rather than rest in the comfortable confines of the cage of complacency.

quote:

what i realized was that if i can release my attachments to how things are supposed to be....and release my addiction to being right...i can be free


A most noble goal by my standards.

And a path to that goal that I, too, chose to pursue.

The road travelled may have been different, but the end result is the same: by letting go, I discovered not only the meaning of freedom (I've waxed lyrical at length elsewhere about how a word for that was coined back in the days when the vocabulary dealt rather exclusively with basic human needs and endeavours, such as water, shelter, food, sex, family and so forth), but also finally grasped some things I had been trying too hard to understand.

quote:

what i came up with is that love for me is asking the scary questions, wanting to see the hidden and darker parts, wanting to create a safe and sacred space where someone, a total stranger, could feel accepted for the total being he was....and for just one shining moment he could feel completely and wholy....loved.


Beautifully said, and I wholly agree, although my ways of relating to people do not always rely on love.

They are still reliant on dealing with a totality, however, and some form of affection.

quote:

thank you for your kind words....you have no idea how scared i was.


I have a very good idea. While I have never cared much for whether I am disliked by total strangers, I have made some disclosures to close friends over the years that would have caused most friendships to end in that conversation. And their opinions of me do matter, even though I don't allow that to constrain me (as you said, a whole, warts and all). So I have a grasp of the fear of rejection and judgment, and think I can extrapolate that to a decent impression.

And I would again like to commend you on setting aside that fear to post as you did.

As to the compliments, you are cordially welcome.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/28/2008 11:40:06 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww

I have love for humans, but if your no longer human and a savage, you need to be protected from yourself....


Whether you have love for me or not, matters little to me. Nor does whether you number me among your species as you reckon it. Try to "protect" me from myself (i.e. stripping me of myself), however, and I will protect myself quite adequately from you. I've no issue with your opinions, although I do hold them to be poorly considered and without a demonstrated basis in reason. As you don't number me among your kind, I don't have an issue with your desire to non-consensually torment and kill me (in your own, well-meaning way) either.

But as to me putting down who and what I am, I will quote Leonidas of Sparta: ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ.

Unlike him, however, I'm faced with pretty good odds.

quote:

It doesn't take more than one person to find it wrong to be wrong...


Then we are all wrong, since there is no person that does not do something that at least one other person finds to be wrong. And that would seem to equate to us all to savages in your worldview. All of humanity, that is. That coincides nicely with my own view, if by a circuitous and unneccessarily convoluted route.

Perhaps the main difference is that my opinion is based on science?

quote:

tell me your 9 finger amy, I dare ya.....


I have no interest in fingers, you confuse me with someone else.

Either that, or your post needs to more clearly mark who you are addressing.

quote:

I'm not the only one here who knows the difference between right and wrong.....


Indeed not. You may be the only one to insist you will disregard the difference between your idea of right and your idea of right when it suits you to do so, however. And that might not exactly be the best foundation from which to make an argument about the morality or propriety of the actions of others...

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to wwwkevinww)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/28/2008 11:46:13 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WhatUrSeeking

Surely we can all agree that suicide is unhealthy and debilitating, but the fuzzy grey line was long before suicide.


Surely not. It certainly can be, but there are circumstances where it may be the most healthy and constructive thing for a given individual to do. In feudal Japan, that was one of the ways to avoid the seizure of your property and effective enslavement of your kin if you had- by the standards of their culture- brought shame on your liege through your own shame by your own actions (or results thereof).

It is physically unhealthy, yes.

But so is just about anything a human might reasonably engage in, to say nothing of life itself.

To allow oneself to be crippled by fear of shortening one's life is to be a slave to death; that it is hardly living.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to WhatUrSeeking)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/28/2008 11:48:57 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad


please feel free to call me amy...*warm smile*.....thank you for the great advice and honest naked introspection, i wish i could write more but i am falling asleep as we speak....sleep well my freind...and dont be too hard on the newbee, i was like that once, its hard when every value you have is being challenged...the little angel on your shoulder is ranting and raving...screaming as loud as she can for you to stop! go back!......and yet you are drawn to the darkness.....and you know deep down you can never go back.



_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/29/2008 12:04:32 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
Hi, WhatUSeeking.  Must be interesting to be a fly on the wall during convos among psychologits about thir cases.
 
Just a few stray thougts:
 
* I wonder wtf was going on with the treating PhD,  that he didn't 'Baker Act' his patient when it first became clear she was a 'danger to herself or others'.  BEFORE she cut off even one finger.  Seems to me this is a huge departure from the his duty of care to his patient  In short, sounds like the treating PhD better get his malpractice carrier involved for when the patient's family sues the sh*t out of him.
 
* The case you described doesn't fit into my model of D/s.  It is flat-out deviant sexual behavior of the worst kind and it's very unfortunate that the patient found this Dom, who had complementary deviant personality issues of his own.  Perhaps if they had never connected, both of them would have continued to keep this behavior in the realm of fantasy.  So it's a 'cautionry tale' about yet another danger of the 'net.
 
* The question you asked seemed to me to be 'what are the outer limits of healthy sexual behavior' and not in any way limited to D/s specifically.  I hope you asked out of curiosity, and not because you yourself want to explore the line between what is healthy and what is destructive and deviant. 
 
I hope you stay safe.  
 
candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 6/29/2008 12:06:49 AM >

(in reply to WhatUrSeeking)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/29/2008 12:41:44 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
Yours is not the only pillow that is singing that sweet siren's song, I'm afraid. I shall be checking in on the thread tomorrow if all goes as planned, and will be sure to also drop you a letter on the other side (among other things, I stick to the nick on this side for various reasons). I'm glad this thread gave an opportunity for the exchanges that have taken place so far, and those that are sure to follow.

To lend a parting from a much treasured book:

Sleep well and wake, amy.

Health,
al-Aswad.

< Message edited by Aswad -- 6/29/2008 12:42:51 AM >


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/29/2008 12:48:32 AM   
StrangerinBlack


Posts: 44
Joined: 4/27/2008
Status: offline
Aswad: I find your statements to be condescending and overly wordy, but light on content. Thank you for finding 1 example of this happening. However, i would again like to point out that a wikipedia article is not research, and we have no idea as to the mental state of either party at the time. If you would like to argue that someone consensually engaging an dangerous, permanently disabling, act which leads to their (predictable) death is not indicative of a mental disorder, more power to you. (I think you will find your view to be in the extreme minority however.) If you people want to argue that ritual suicide should be a protected right, that anyone should be able to freely engage in at any time, with no supervision, that's your right. However, the question I was answering was "When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive?", which I feel I have done sufficiently. Try looking a little deeper into what people are saying instead of imposing your interpretation of specific terms used.

Oh, and did you actually tell any of all those psychologists that learned so much with you that you wanted to eat other people before they decided you were without illness?

< Message edited by StrangerinBlack -- 6/29/2008 12:52:52 AM >

(in reply to WhatUrSeeking)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/29/2008 1:46:10 AM   
DelilahDeb


Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
Fast Reply:

My hard limits are permanent harm, lasting damage. I happen to think that BDSM consists of repeatable practices, while body modification, from ear piercing to cuttings or brandings fall into a fetish category. It may arouse you (or your partner) to have the Harley-Davidson logo scarified on one ass cheek, and Mickey Mouse on the other, and more power to you. You still gonna be happy about it when the tits or balls are draggin' and the skin is all gnarly and age-spotted?

I prefer to be able to repeat pleasurable moments, hours, or days.

As for the OP's original scenario? How far is too far...well, there's nothing that says that same scenario couldn't have been fulfilled in a RACK fashion if the sub simply sent the dom nail and hair clippings (they're protein, after all), and let the dom add something to soup stock. Me, I think they've simply read Stranger in a Strange Land waaaaay too many times.

Lady Delilah Deb

Lady Delilah Deb

_____________________________

"All acts of love & pleasure are My rituals."
--from the Charge of the Goddess, a Wiccan teaching

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/29/2008 1:50:34 AM   
wwwkevinww


Posts: 276
Joined: 7/15/2004
Status: offline
Aswad

To allow oneself to be crippled by fear of shortening one's life is to be a slave to death; that it is hardly living.

- true, too much paranoa isn't healthy......

Are you trying to intentionally miss the point that alot of this stuff wasn't directed at you?  I think your somewhat intelligent, obviously amoral & socialpathic by your own admissions, and obviously a friend of Amy's.    The majority of what was said has nothing to do with you, you think you deflected anything of what I said or you crying to a moderator changes diddly.  I think you don't understand American customs.....Your over in liberal Norway.....Amy should understand, and does......

To say everyone is evil is absolutely unequivically wrong.....there are good people out there...... 

When I refer to the flesh as housing the soul, how the heck do you start talking about your apartment or house?  I'm sorry, are you vaguely threatening me in your next sentence?

I don't appreciate your condescending attitude, and you deserve mine.....How the heck can you know right from wrong or talk about anything unhealthy/destructive when you think everyone is amoral or immoral just like you?

There is alot of evil stuff in the world, and its next to impossible to stop all corruption or all evilness, but each good person can do their part....

Any act in BDSM can be unhealthy, there is risk in any activity, nevertheless, it is important to way that risk against potential disfigurement or death.  Now, when it comes to intentional amputation for no actual health benefits but to improve the psyche', its no longer a  risk, its a guarantee......there are other ways to " improve the psyche'  "

I've recently come to the conclusion that some people just aren't mentally healthy enough to participate in any intelligent discourse of any value, and shouldn't be involved in BDSM in any meaningful way, because they cannot differientiate between the difference between potential destructive tendancies and permanent intentional disfigurement.....

[Mod Note: TOS violation removed]



< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 6/29/2008 7:16:34 AM >

(in reply to StrangerinBlack)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/29/2008 7:14:25 AM   
DominantJenny


Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WhatUrSeeking
Then this might be the ultimate submission, but people are discussing that on another thread.
Even if she loved her life and was doing it out of service and submission for a Dom she loved, then I believe the Dominant should have loved her enough to not let her end a life that she loves.

I meant that statement in its literal sense. It is physically unhealthy to kill oneself. Mentally and spiritually I believe it is a problem as well, but as I said before the mind is so rational it can rationalize anything, even the irrational. It may be possible to argue that suicide is not unhealthy to your spiritual being, but I think it would be a weak argument. Mentally, your brain stops sending electronic impulses when you die and that seems unhealthy. Spiritually, if we are on this planet for a reason then we probably should not leave this earth early. At a minimum the suicidal person would miss an opportunity to grow further. At a maximum their soul is damned forever in fire and brimstone, forced to repeatedly witness the pain and damage that their loved ones suffered, or reincarnated at a lower level than they were previously. Furthermore their suicide is likely to have negative consequences on other peoples lives. Say a younger sibling that had looked up to them or a parent that blames themselves for the suicide. etc.


What if she loved her life and truly believed she had fulfilled her purpose and reached the pinnacle and had nothing left, in a totally positive sense, to live for, but found personal value in dying in the way of her choosing?
Rare, yes, but it could happen. Frankly, I'm quite near to that state myself; I have achieved all of my truly important personal goals. In my case, I wish to enjoy them as long as possible and have no desire to die (quite the opposite), but I can certainly imagine what I described to be fully possible.

I have heard extremely powerful arguments (certainly as powerful as the arguments that it is not) that suicide would be healthy for one spiritually. One may, (not that this is an example of those arguments; I'm low on time here), believe that they are no longer able to grow further while in their physical body and that death would release them from this and allow them to explore to a previously unimaginable degree. Your list ignores the viewpoint that death means one simply ceases to exist, btw...and the value of existence itself is one than can be extremely debateable; quality versus quantity of life is an issue as old as the human species, I suspect.
As for negative consequences on the lives of others, there are plenty of decisions that can have that effect; my mother would certainly consider it a negative that I've decided to immigrate to an entirely different country and live thousands of miles away from her instead of 2, as I do now. However, I have shared with her my reasons, and, even if she didn't accept them (fortunately she does), that wouldn't stop me from doing what I believe to be best for me, my spouse, and my children. (Note that my children, when they grow up, may well be of a differing opinion as well, and I will have no way to undo that decision. I accept this as one of the risks of my choice; I know that if I did NOT immigrate, they could, in the end, differ with that decision. I can only make the best choice I can and hope for the best outcome. Other people could disagree with me just as violently as some have here about my choice, and have, in fact.)

I, personally, have no interest in practicing the things being discussed here, but I, like some others, have lived enough to realize that there truly is virtually nothing that is that simple, that is black and white; little, if anything, that is inherently either good or bad, but that context and individual experience and belief play a strongly determining role in nearly every situation.

(in reply to WhatUrSeeking)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/29/2008 9:34:41 AM   
MasterHermes


Posts: 136
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantJenny

What if she loved her life and truly believed she had fulfilled her purpose and reached the pinnacle and had nothing left, in a totally positive sense, to live for, but found personal value in dying in the way of her choosing?
Rare, yes, but it could happen. Frankly, I'm quite near to that state myself; I have achieved all of my truly important personal goals. In my case, I wish to enjoy them as long as possible and have no desire to die (quite the opposite), but I can certainly imagine what I described to be fully possible.

I have heard extremely powerful arguments (certainly as powerful as the arguments that it is not) that suicide would be healthy for one spiritually. One may, (not that this is an example of those arguments; I'm low on time here), believe that they are no longer able to grow further while in their physical body and that death would release them from this and allow them to explore to a previously unimaginable degree. Your list ignores the viewpoint that death means one simply ceases to exist, btw...and the value of existence itself is one than can be extremely debateable; quality versus quantity of life is an issue as old as the human species, I suspect.



Dear Jenny,

If you are a spiritual person , consider this. When its time to leave this world, a person will not spend a minute more anyway. When a person finds value in dying the way her choosing , she makes that decision with what? With her mind.. and mind operates on what? Ego.. All the things argued in this thread has got nothing to do with spirituality . Human mind is very good at finding excuses. Kill other people for peace, kill yourself for spirituality, cut her legs for sexuality, hate your neighbor in the name of god. We have very noble reasonings for very destructive actions of human ego.

This was said thousands of years ago, lets see what changed:

He said, "I took my stand in the midst of the world, and in flesh I appeared to them. I found them all drunk, and I did not find any of them thirsty. My soul ached for the children of humanity, because they are blind in their hearts and do not see, for they came into the world empty, and they also seek to depart from the world empty.

Let them be
Hermes

(in reply to DominantJenny)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/29/2008 9:36:55 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline
when people can't figure out the difference between fantasy and reality and when people are too stupid for their own good.

(in reply to WhatUrSeeking)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/29/2008 9:38:38 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline
Fast reply: BDSM gets really dangerous when recently released subs hit the Collarme forums.

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 6/29/2008 9:40:32 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline
quote:

All the things argued in this thread has got nothing to do with spirituality .


i dont think that you can argue that you speak for all spirituality every where on the planet, maybe a better way of phrasing it would be

"nothing in this thread reflects anything i hold in my personal definition of spirituality"....when you speak in absolutes, you negate your validity and effectiveness in discussing points and having a worthwhile exchange of ideas....

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to MasterHermes)
Profile   Post #: 100
Page:   <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive Page: <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.113