Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer?

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Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 6/30/2008 6:02:33 PM

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Well, I've been hogging all the fun with the ultimate Collarme problem, so it's time to let others play. Here's the final (for now, at least) version of the UCMP, with thanks to everyone who suggested additions and especially to Lumus, who did a masterly job of turning my vanilla prose into forumspeak.

i haevnt had tim to make a profile yeet becuz ive been been spending alot of time at Bloggers Anonimus e-meetings + im overwhelmed with "On your knees!" emails but i need to a post and get Y/your advice because i thnik i may be entering sub frenzy and am thinknig about relocating to Niggeria given that my vanila partner (who doesnt understand this side of me and thniks it cheating when i persue this important part of my life and admits to the ocasional castrashun fantasy and wont ever pursue it becuz He refuses to pay tribute to a D/dome) says im too needy for my Online Master (who lives with His parnets and cant chat offen becuz the computer is in their bedroom and T/they were totally judgemintal when T/they found the PowerPoint of His cock shots), who is demanding that i figure out if this gurl is truly a no-limmits slave or merely a sub and in the meantime He's thinking of remuving my virtuale colar since it wont fit around my fat neck and He iggies me every time i safeword out when ordered to shave my public hair or engage in forced bisexy which is a hard limit even though He considers it the Ultimate Gift of SUbmision and swears i wuld finaly reach subspaec if i only let Him dominant me in this way.

So now it's your turn. Can you craft the ultimate Collarme answer? You can adopt the style of a (least) favorite poster, use your own voice, or hand the keyboard over to your inner imp. Let the flames begin!

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 6/30/2008 6:06:27 PM

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If its not "safe, sane and consentual" then it isn't bdsm - especially if it involves choking learnt on line, or cannibalism cookbooks looking for new recipes.

(in reply to dcnovice)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 6/30/2008 6:07:23 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
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yes..i answer with bouncing boobies.

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I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to dcnovice)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 6/30/2008 6:55:57 PM

Posts: 131
Joined: 5/9/2007
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Hey Dcnovice... here goes

In my opinion if a Dom that isn’t in control of there self they have NO right to think that they can control another person. As a “Master” it is hard to see someone feel that being a Dom/Master is just totally about what they want and forget that that Sub/Slave that they are “in control of” Puts there full trust into that one person letting them decide what they think is best. A Dom/Master considers all of the possible outcomes of the choice that they make. If this person had truly put thought to what they have asked you to do I think the answer would be a lot different .the Dom/Master carries the weight of both on one set of shoulders and some times its hard but lets face it when times get tough and the Dom/Master gets tougher it helps keep that foundation strong. I guess what I am getting at is before you call this person “Master” you also need to take into consideration if you trust this person with all that you are, and that you will be.

Just think a little more before you jump to hastily into something

Best wishes, Justin

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 6/30/2008 6:56:44 PM

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<fast reply>

If anyone needs a translation of the Ultimate Collarme Problem, click here.

< Message edited by dcnovice -- 6/30/2008 6:57:56 PM >

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 6/30/2008 11:15:23 PM

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Joined: 3/29/2008
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i was gonna suggest she dump all of that silliness, and i will take her in as my pet!

But she blew it with the nixing of the "bisexy" thing

slavelet

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Kindly disregard one of the above sig lines.

i am not a pain slut... i am a sensation slut

cunning stunt

(in reply to dcnovice)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 6/30/2008 11:44:48 PM

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From: i'm headed to HIM...
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i don't know about all that stuff in the OP, i'm mostly wondering where i can get some hotwings at 1 am on a monday night....

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

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He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to slavelet)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 7/1/2008 12:52:35 AM

Posts: 2876
Joined: 11/8/2007
From: Jersey girl, back in jersey
Status: offline

it's only edge play if your online collar chokes you...

as for the ignoring you and your online safeword, just so you know, computers come with an off button. sometimes they're good in situations like htis. he can't ignore you if you're not there.

_____________________________

I'm A dirty little whore, not YOUR dirty little whore!

(in reply to christine1)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 7/1/2008 5:07:13 AM

Posts: 2918
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From: Leeds, UK
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I was gonna offer to procure her for Sir ... but she has an opinion ... that just wont do!

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to SinLee)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 7/1/2008 5:58:50 AM

shivermetimbers

Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
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Hey, great idea, moving to "Niggeria". It's SUB-Saharan, which means it is perfect for sub frenzy. Take the vanilla partner of yours, you can go for the price of one, by simply buying two one way tickets instead of one round trip ticket. Just as everyone knows that life started in Africa, so too did BDSM(you've seen the National Geographic pictures of them with sticks driven through their lips), and your vanilla partner will discover his evolutionary destiny. Only there can you learn "the one true way", and as everyone walks around naked there, there's no longer a worry of finding cock shots on a home computer, so you don't need that pesky online master. They are very friendly over there, and when addressing a Niggerian, make sure you drop the "-ian" and shout out to everyone you meet, "What's up my (add the the new spelling)?" That form of addressing them is a sure way for those kinky folks to pleasantly engage your partners "castrashun fantasy". They know how to eat properly, they order out from the entire world, and will put you on the "famine relief" diet they all crave. You'll be that hot sexy, uber slave in no time at all.

Best of luck to you both. If it doesn't work out, I know my profile says I'm a master, but I really desire to submit to a Domme who enjoys receiving anal sex from her slave, and I think even though you are a sub, I could submit to you for that. I'll send my phone number in the next reply, but if you call it and a woman answers, it's only my sister, so hang up right away, she doesn't understand those of us who live this as a lifestyle.

_____________________________

I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

(in reply to dcnovice)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 7/1/2008 6:09:54 AM

Posts: 14840
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From: Somewhere Texas
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Alright, I said I admire intelligence and creativity... now would someone please tell me, WHERE THE HELL DID SHE PUT MY SHOES WHEN SHE CLEANED THE ROOM????

_____________________________

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You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

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(in reply to shivermetimbers)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 7/1/2008 8:30:45 AM

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Joined: 3/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

If its not "safe, sane and consentual" then it isn't bdsm - especially if it involves choking learnt on line, or cannibalism cookbooks looking for new recipes.

kiwibus is completely right - this isn't real bdsm in the true sense of the word.

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

yes..i answer with bouncing boobies.

And what is so wrong with fat men? Its predjudiced people like you are what give wwiittwd a bad name IMHO!!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

i don't know about all that stuff in the OP, i'm mostly wondering where i can get some hotwings at 1 am on a monday night....

Well thats typical of some ppl here - the op asked a serious question. And anyway it should be "I" don't know and "I'm" wondering. People who cant be bothered to use correct grammar shouldnt post on this sight.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SinLee

it's only edge play if your online collar chokes you...

as for the ignoring you and your online safeword, just so you know, computers come with an off button. sometimes they're good in situations like htis. he can't ignore you if you're not there.

You shouldn't be using a collar if there is a risk of choking, no matter how small. The risk, not the collar. Small I mean. As kwibus21 said, ALL bdsm activity MUST be safe,sane and consentual. So I think your whole attitude Sin saying that a master should be using unsafe equipment without a first aid kit is, frankly, stupid and contravenes all known rules for having real bdsm activity and relationships also. You just don't know what your talking about and should be ashamed to post here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

I was gonna offer to procure her for Sir ... but she has an opinion ... that just wont do!

Well IMHO a submissive is not just a piece of meat and should have a life of His/Her own. Its masters like you who ruin it for everyone else.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 7/1/2008 8:36:39 AM

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OP I feel great sympathy for you in your troubling and difficult times - hugs.

I don't think you should worry that your sub is living with her parents - its quite common these days and indeed I live with my parents and there is nothing wrong with that in my view because its perfectly natural it seems to me.

So best of luck in getting her to join you out in Kenya - wish I was there with you!

(in reply to dcnovice)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 7/1/2008 9:14:11 AM

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Joined: 6/25/2006
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Dear merciful Moon...

There's but one bullet, whom should I choose?

If such a creature were to really ask that question, I'd have to find out where it lived to put it down before it reproduced.

_____________________________

(Self proclaimed)
Resident Libra

(in reply to Sundowner)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 7/1/2008 9:16:50 AM

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
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why has no one picked a fight with another poster for some totally non-thread related reason .... come on Guys ... play the game!

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to puppen)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 7/1/2008 9:29:46 AM

Lumus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: puppen

Dear merciful Moon...

There's but one bullet, whom should I choose?

If such a creature were to really ask that question, I'd have to find out where it lived to put it down before it reproduced.

Sory im not itno bulet play my Master tryed shotting me onec onlien when i wuz trying to loss wait to wear my Colar and sum of his friends watned to help by yelling "Run Niggerian Run" whihc is stupid cuz how can i run on my knees so after i hobled a bit they let me castrite their big onlien pennises and that was kewl until their gurlfreinds tryed to make out with me cuz you cant forec bisexy its not posible God made us strate to maek babys i hope that made senes now i hav to go to work to send money to my Master so he can try to overcum His limmits and pay tribute to a Dome.

[I should answer all of these.]

_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to puppen)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 7/1/2008 9:30:52 AM

Lumus

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Joined: 9/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

why has no one picked a fight with another poster for some totally non-thread related reason .... come on Guys ... play the game!

Shaddup. You're not the boss of me!

_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to Lumus)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 7/1/2008 9:40:16 AM

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

why has no one picked a fight with another poster for some totally non-thread related reason .... come on Guys ... play the game!

Shaddup. You're not the boss of me!

god that is soooooo One Twue Wayist of you ....

stop non-consensually thread Domming me!

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to Lumus)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 7/1/2008 9:42:14 AM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

god that is soooooo One Twue Wayist of you ....

stop non-consensually thread Domming me!

Ok, first of all, there's more than One Way...mine just happens to be the best.

Secondly, if you didn't want to be Dommed, why are you giving me a cleavage shot in your avatar!!!!!

_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to softness)

RE: Your Turn: The Ultimate Collarme Answer? - 7/1/2008 9:58:13 AM

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

that is sooooooo typical of you .... once .,.. in a thread .. on a different site ... 9 years ago ... you said the exact same thing

change the record!

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to Lumus)

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