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RE: "Submissive" males angry at themselves / ... - 7/7/2008 10:49:59 PM   
boyforyouruse


Posts: 36
Joined: 1/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

Are you serious?  Seriously.

I'm just gumming up the works here.  You haven't been here long enough to know that.   

Have fun (though).  


Maybe seek a dentist for those gumming issues. And brush. And floss. Regularly.

(in reply to joyinslavery)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: "Submissive" males angry at themselves / ... - 7/7/2008 10:53:14 PM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: boyforyouruse

Maybe seek a dentist for those gumming issues. And brush. And floss. Regularly.





Good advice and will do. 

Just bought a new toothbrush today so I'm about to wear that mofo out.  Lost a couple last month (teeth...all in the front). 

Love you.

< Message edited by joyinslavery -- 7/7/2008 11:28:25 PM >


_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to boyforyouruse)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: "Submissive" males angry at themselves / ... - 7/8/2008 3:11:13 AM   
bottomboy81


Posts: 74
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: boyforyouruse

A very recent thread made me think of this, and I was curious to get all your perspectives.

I think its more common to see on the message boards as I don't think these guys would be crude enough to say these things in real life, and its almost always posted from an empty profile with no pictures / information (Or possibly the moderators delete/warn them). I'm referring to posts from "submissive" males who seem VERY angry at women in general, but especially at a certain request that a dominant woman they've been speaking to requests them to do. They post some introductory message "It can't be right for a female dom to order me to do X!".

Inevitably in the next few posts someone gives some clear, good advice, usually along the lines of "You have to decide what are the right limits for you. You two decide your own relationship, etc.." This makes them fly off the handle, of course, so they then start sending out hateful one-line responses meant to bully or be basically rude to any who took the time to respond to them.

So what I'm getting at is this. I don't for one feel these guys are really looking to submit to anyone. So why are they here? If they have NO interest in power exchange, as the very thought of a woman daring to give them an order is just SOOOOOoooo insulting, why make a profile as a submissive, and why come to a POWER EXCHANGE website? How did they ever think "this website seems like the kind of place to find what I'm looking for" when they post later how disgusted they are with everyone who responds, etc. What makes men so angry at their own desires, and act like a complete ass when someone calls them out on their anger issues?

.. (and why do they have to pollute our forums with it! :P)





Maybe if the males in general didn't get ignored (disrespected) 99 percent of the time and actually got approached, there would be less or no angry males in these forums. The problem is that the malignant narcissist I meant dommes on this site think its all about them and a lot seem to have clinically insane entitlement mentality. I wonder why you see the same dommes on this site for years while they have no problem getting male subs interested? Because their expectations are irrational, or for some, maybe their expectations are bearable for a short term but expecting a human to go by their rules for the long term is seriously unhealthy. Just because you own a pussy and offer kink, it doesn't mean you're worth more than the average vanilla woman. But its impossible to tell the chauvinist twits on this site without their bigotry getting in the way.

< Message edited by bottomboy81 -- 7/8/2008 3:21:59 AM >

(in reply to boyforyouruse)
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RE: "Submissive" males angry at themselves / ... - 7/8/2008 4:52:27 AM   
Dari


Posts: 192
Joined: 10/8/2007
Status: offline
Cute.  I tend not to approach anyone - male, or otherwise - with unreasonable expectations, nastiness, or rudeness.  Then again, were I faced with the vitriol in your post, bottomboy81, I don't know how much effort I'd put into being polite to begin with.

OP:  At the end of the day, different people want different things.  Some believe in female supremacy, others believe that some women are superior, and some aren't, and still others believe that no women are superior.  Some are looking just for kink, others for D/s relationships. 

For those who aren't finding what they seek, I'm sure it's frustrating.  And of course there are those with no manners.

The internet gives everyone a modicum of anonymity, and sometimes that lets people feel that casual discourtesy, angry rants, rudeness, and hatred are okay to spill here because hey, you can always surf a different thread if you don't like it, right?  Those people do more harm to themselves than to anyone else, and they're hardly worth the time it takes to dismiss their thread/post. 

(in reply to bottomboy81)
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RE: "Submissive" males angry at themselves / ... - 7/8/2008 6:38:12 AM   
boyforyouruse


Posts: 36
Joined: 1/21/2008
Status: offline
To Dari have you seen this:

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19/

And to bottomboy81 there are certainly all kinds of people with weird and unrealistic expectations, but I certainly don't think anything near a majority of women online or real world have crazy high expectations. Sure there's some, and you skip them. As for males in general getting ignored, do you think it has anything to do with how you present yourself?

(in reply to Dari)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: "Submissive" males angry at themselves / ... - 7/8/2008 6:49:25 AM   
slvemike4u


Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact



At the same time, I understand that there are true jewels out there.  Diamonds in the rough, so to speak.  Those who, if they only had the opportunity, would gladly serve.  Those who would happily sit at My feet, because they have wanted that station for so long that it tears them up inside.  All they want is to be of service, and to have a happy existence because of it.  When they have gotten past that anger and hatred for what and who they are.  They are, exactly, why I waste so much time here.

Thank You LadyPact,"tears them up inside"is as good a definition has i have ever heard

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: "Submissive" males angry at themselves / ... - 7/8/2008 2:56:49 PM   
bottomboy81


Posts: 74
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

but I certainly don't think anything near a majority of women online or real world have crazy high expectations


ROFL what world do you live in? This site alone has women worse than most places when it comes to crazy high expectations. Its hard NOT TO find a woman on this site who has ridiculous expectations.

quote:

As for males in general getting ignored, do you think it has anything to do with how you present yourself?


When this type of topic comes up, why is it always the mans fault? Why don't the women ever come to question? If you think about a woman with the same image status as me offering everything the same as me, do you think she would have a problem getting men interested? HELL NO! Theres your answer.

(in reply to slvemike4u)
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RE: "Submissive" males angry at themselves / ... - 7/8/2008 3:52:21 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
"Fault" is not the right way to look at it.  You're not going to change anyone's behavior by assigning blame.  You might, however, change your own results if you accept responsibility.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to bottomboy81)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: "Submissive" males angry at themselves / ... - 7/8/2008 4:13:26 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81


ROFL what world do you live in? This site alone has women worse than most places when it comes to crazy high expectations. Its hard NOT TO find a woman on this site who has ridiculous expectations.


I could ask you the same. Every single lady i have emailed has sent a polite reply. Everyone that has emailed me first has been respectful. Certainly some have unreasonable expectations but you get that on any dating site. Most though just want someone honest, polite and with less of an attitude than you seem to have.

(in reply to bottomboy81)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: "Submissive" males angry at themselves / ... - 7/8/2008 8:25:18 PM   
MsFay


Posts: 18
Joined: 7/6/2008
Status: offline
Well, I don't agree with you.  No one "has to do" anything that he or she doesn't like.  As a domme, I would never force anyone, male or woman, to do anything that they aren't really into.  *Of course* <eg>, I will push their buttons and limits to turn them on into getting them to do something that they normally would be mortified to do.  I especially love getting a man aroursed by the idea of sucking cock for me or sucking my large, black strapon and turning him into a total whore.  Some guys get into that others fight it and still others just tell me "fuck you bitch."  LOL  And I like the idea of a woman that is hetero being turned into a pussy-licking whore for me with another woman too.  And trust me, there are women that have been angry about that conflict too.  So the anger you speak of is not male or female but just an individual thing.  Also as much as there are males out there that are angry with women, I have to say there are more angry women out there pissed off at guys and some have conveniently hidden behind the "femdom" title.  But people like this you spot miles away and you should keep miles away from them, regardless of gender.  In RL, I am no where near the heartless bitch that my profile might read as.  I am actually quite sensual but I admit I am a total power-exchange junkie and get off BIG time on humiliation with my subs, be it male or female.  BUT I love both men and women, but more men for relationships.  So let's not bash the guys about a trait that is not unique or peculiar to any gender and put this issue into better perspective shall we?  It is easy to read someone's message and read it one way without knowing fully what might be motivating it.  The sad reality is that there is often a lot of relationship issues and past baggage and incidents of sexual abuse with many in our community, regardless of what orientation, gender, or power hierarchy someone might identify with.  However trite, it is true.  And I have known more than a few who wrestle with these demons.  That is why it is very important you get to know your partner and communicate with them before more provoking play or you might end up with just what someone on here said: an explosive situation. 

Short story.  I had a friend (past tense) that had a bf she was madly in love with and adored and literally bent over backwards for him, taking it anally most of the time.  To him, it was just kinky play.  But to her it was the most intimate thing and proof that they were "forever."  Well, it didn't end up that way, and when they broke up (he left her), she went ballistic and even turned on friends, accusing them of wild accusations, such as me and another women having cheated with said ex (never happened).  Now, she is a "natural born dominant" and has "always been so" she tells people, meanwhile I and a few others know all the salacious details that she revealed to us in her nuclear melt down.  Her penchant now is to fuck guys with a strapon and break up with them.  Hmm... Does that sound like she might have an angry management issue?  LOL  So it is not a male or female thing by a long shot.

And just to be fair, some people are just mean, some stupid, and not everyone is a victim of abuse with some past issue that is haunting them, but I think that when you see this kind of angry, it usually is an indication of some form of trauma, regret, or disappointment and a want for revenge.  With women, our outlet is usually writing and the more repeatative or obsessive the themes of the writing and quantity, the bigger the issues.  Guys, let's be honest, usually use bullets as their form of therapy when really pissed unfortunately as the news is testament all too often.


(in reply to boyforyouruse)
Profile   Post #: 30
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