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How should i introduce myself - 7/8/2008 6:52:24 PM

gambitmel

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/3/2008
Status: offline

Hello, all

I am new to this whole scene and getting into it is very scary/exciting for me so please dont be too hard on me.
I would love some tips on how Mistresses would like to be contacted on collarme.
I have seen some profiles that really appeal to me (Mistresses of similar ages that like all the things I like).

How would you like me to contact you?
Do you want me to go into detail about myself or do you just want me to say I have had a look at your profile and I would love to talk because we like similar things. Do i talk about the things i see on her profile that i also enjoy or not go into detail on the initial contact. If a profile really appeals to me can I say something along the lines of I would love a chance to have you as my first Mistress, obviously i wouldnt just say that?

As much information/tips on a new sub looking for his first dominate Mistress would be apriciated.
I guess as a young sub of 24 it will take some time to find a mistress willing to give me the time\training required as first timer so I want to be sure when I contact the person I do it correctly.

Thanks and Regards

Post #: 1

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/8/2008 6:58:38 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

You may find these helpful.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1919336/tm.htm
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1717756

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to gambitmel)

Post #: 2

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/8/2008 7:21:05 PM

gambitmel

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/3/2008
Status: offline

thank you that is very helpfull

Without going into it too much I can not put a picture up of myself because of what\where i work.
What should i so about that ? post a picture of my body obviously not naked from the neck down or masked or exclude the image all together?

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 3

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/8/2008 10:22:14 PM

LexiTempest

Posts: 59
Joined: 5/20/2008
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gambitmel

thank you that is very helpfull

Without going into it too much I can not put a picture up of myself because of what\where i work.
What should i so about that ? post a picture of my body obviously not naked from the neck down or masked or exclude the image all together?

Pictures always help. You don't have to show your face! Crop it out, blur it, whatever. But as long as your pic gives people an *idea* of what you look like, it's better than leaving them in the dark.

Hope that helps.

Edited to add:

and good luck!

< Message edited by LexiTempest -- 7/8/2008 10:26:27 PM >

_____________________________

~ Mistress Lexi Tempest ~

I'm Magically Sadistic! ;)

http://www.mistresslexitempest.com

(in reply to gambitmel)

Post #: 4

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/9/2008 7:13:44 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

And apparently an envelope with Tribute doesn't hurt either.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to LexiTempest)

Post #: 5

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/9/2008 7:48:52 AM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

First of all, ignore the cynicism of some of the other posters

. I would definitely reference the things in the domina's profile that attracted you to her. If I get generic emails, I almost always delete them without responding, likewise if they are too short. Remember, what you are doing is advertising yourself. Why should she be interested in you out of all the other men who are writing to her? So, give her a reason to take a look at your profile and respond to your email. Also, please, please, please, check your spelling, grammar, and punctuation. If you can't be bothered to submit your best effort to a domina when you are initially making contact, when will you do it?

Final suggestion: look at lots of profiles of dominant women. You'll pick up all sorts of clues for ways that you should approach them.

(in reply to gambitmel)

Post #: 6

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/9/2008 12:05:03 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline

Read profiles thoroughly before contacting a Domme. Check out her interests to see if they're compatible with yours, go over the text to make sure that she's looking and not currently in a relationship. If she says she's not looking for anyone, then don't try to offer yourself through the logic that maybe she just forgot to update her page and really IS looking for a sub.

I wish I were making that all up, but lord if I had a nickel for every time I got one of those... it's just irritating. Remember that a lot of Dommes on here have full inboxes at the end of the day and don't want to waste time sifting through the "ZOMG PLZ BEAT ME" messages she isn't soliciting in the first place.

Furthermore, understand the difference between a pro-Domme and a lifestyle Domme. Pro-Dommes don't come for free; most require a tribute either of gifts or money in payment for their time. It is a business, and oftentimes it ends up lacking that emotional connection that some subs really require for their own well-being in a D/s relationship. A lifestyle Domme usually won't demand payment but you will typically get more emotional depth in your relationship and submit to HER desires, not your fantasies.

Good luck in your search; the fact that you can put together a coherent sentence is already working in your favor.

_____________________________

Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 7

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/9/2008 3:44:26 PM

LexiTempest

Posts: 59
Joined: 5/20/2008
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

And apparently an envelope with Tribute doesn't hurt either.

chia* (the pet)

Wow. Do you EVER have anything better to do than be a dickwad?

I thought if I blocked you, you'd get the hint. Guess not.

_____________________________

~ Mistress Lexi Tempest ~

I'm Magically Sadistic! ;)

http://www.mistresslexitempest.com

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 8

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/9/2008 11:39:40 PM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LexiTempest

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

And apparently an envelope with Tribute doesn't hurt either.

chia* (the pet)

Wow. Do you EVER have anything better to do than be a dickwad?

I thought if I blocked you, you'd get the hint. Guess not.

Look at me everybody, I'm a dickwad!

Nope, nothing else to do "Princess of the Tribute Envelope".

It loses something if you have to tell me you blocked me.

Just think of all the fun I'm going to make of you and you'll never know.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to LexiTempest)

Post #: 9

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/10/2008 12:22:33 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Chia, I think you're hilarious. Not even kidding. But there's some kind of bang-on-the-young-female-posters virus blowing through here right now, and you've caught it. Word to the wise.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 10

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/10/2008 12:53:00 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

young-female-posters virus blowing through here right now, and you've caught it.

Holy Shit! Will there be pustules?!

Being called "dickwad" and "jackass" by TributeTempest certainly doesn't
put her first in line at the kissing booth. Not with those big ass feet.

chia* <don't encourage me> (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 11

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/10/2008 2:04:59 AM

LexiTempest

Posts: 59
Joined: 5/20/2008
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

Being called "dickwad" and "jackass" by TributeTempest certainly doesn't
put her first in line at the kissing booth. Not with those big ass feet.

chia* <don't encourage me> (the pet)

Oh My... thanks for the laugh. I seriously lol'd after reading that and then looking at your picture. You shouldn't be talking about anything related to aesthetics.

_____________________________

~ Mistress Lexi Tempest ~

I'm Magically Sadistic! ;)

http://www.mistresslexitempest.com

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 12

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/10/2008 5:52:53 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LexiTempest

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

Being called "dickwad" and "jackass" by TributeTempest certainly doesn't
put her first in line at the kissing booth. Not with those big ass feet.

chia* <don't encourage me> (the pet)

Oh My... thanks for the laugh. I seriously lol'd after reading that and then looking at your picture. You shouldn't be talking about anything related to aesthetics.

Funny you should pick the smiley with the big feet.

chia* <apparently unblocked> (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to LexiTempest)

Post #: 13

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/10/2008 7:09:39 AM

misterbananafish

Posts: 48
Joined: 7/2/2008
From: THE Upper Peninsula
Status: offline

so is it unusual for a sub to contact "local" dominas just to say hi and introduce himself to the community?

i've basically been sending quick messages to the female dominants nearby (by that i mean 100-200 miles away *cry*) just to say hi.

at this point in the game, i'm not really looking for anything specific.

well, that's not entirely true, we all have our motives, and i'm trying to put my 'i'm desperate to meet someone of like mindedness and spend hours chatting with them online' desire behind me, out of respect

basically i'm hoping to find out more about potential scenes within driving distance, munches, etc.

too long i've dreamt of this lifestyle, and i've scared away too many vanilla girlfriends because of it, it is frustrating, and i just want to meet new people and talk with them.

does anyone have suggestions for a simple message/mail to send someone, when i'm just looking to say hi and potentially converse?

thank you.

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 14

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/10/2008 7:23:19 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Click on those links I gave at the beginning of this thread. There's a tremendous amount of information there.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to misterbananafish)

Post #: 15

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/10/2008 9:07:50 AM

misterbananafish

Posts: 48
Joined: 7/2/2008
From: THE Upper Peninsula
Status: offline

thank you, i'd like to think my profile quite a bit better off now...

i'm sure i will make corrections and updates as i sift through the responses in the linked threads.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 16

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/10/2008 12:40:14 PM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

chia!!! You are terrible!!! Remind me to never be drinking a soda and reading your posts ever again!!!

And by the way... I have tiny feet.

~~wanders off to find the windex to clean her monitor~~

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to misterbananafish)

Post #: 17

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/10/2008 4:25:45 PM

LexiTempest

Posts: 59
Joined: 5/20/2008
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

Yep, My feet are big, and they're fabulous!

Too bad they don't have a snaggletooth smiley for you!

_____________________________

~ Mistress Lexi Tempest ~

I'm Magically Sadistic! ;)

http://www.mistresslexitempest.com

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 18

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/10/2008 4:34:04 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

Why so much hate for the younger pros currently? Jeebus, if you don't want to pay, don't pay, it's not like I'm going to come after you like a girlscout on crack.

Lexi, getting mad only encourages them. :p You have to learn to roll your eyes at the 'OMG WHORE' accusations on this board.

OP- don't worry about scaring off nilla girlfriends. It just means you don't waste too much time before finding out you aren't compatable. Go check out some munches, maybe a club or two if you have them near you, and don't, don't make the desperate, mouthbreather approach like some poor guys do. It's a lil scary. :P Pics are encouraged, you may not even get a second glance if you don't put *something* up. That being said, make sure the pic works for you, not against you.

-Lynn (who has bigger feet than she'd like to admit anyway)

< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 7/10/2008 4:38:36 PM >

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to LexiTempest)

Post #: 19

RE: How should i introduce myself - 7/10/2008 4:36:45 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Why so much hate for the younger pros currently? Jeebus, if you don't want to pay, don't pay, it's not like I'm going to come after you like a girlscout on crack.

Lexi, getting mad only encourages them. :p You have to learn to roll your eyes at the 'OMG WHORE' accusations on this board.

OP- don't worry about scaring off nilla girlfriends. It just means you don't waste too much time before finding out you aren't compatable. Go check out some munches, maybe a club or two if you have them near you, and don't, don't make the desperate, mouthbreather approach like some poor guys do. It's a lil scary. :P Pics are encouraged, you may not even get a second glance if you don't put *something* up. That being said, make sure the pic works for you, not against you.

Good question.
There has been a lot of that going on lately, much sharper contempt than usual.

Lexi..
big feet or small
there is some guy
some where
who loves dem all.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 20

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