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Humiliation play - 11/11/2005 6:03:59 AM   
LadyKim


Posts: 191
Joined: 11/11/2004
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I was fortunate enough to attend DomCon Atlanta this past weekend and meet some extremely interesting Dommes from all over the country. Though the convention is primarily geared towards professionals dominants, they encouraged the lifestylers to attend also.

One of my favorite seminars for the weekend was on Humiliation Play (presented by Princess Kali from NYC). I have always been a big fan of humiliation, but Kali takes it to a new level and provided me with some great ideas to kick things up a notch. I thought it would be nice to share some with others here, and see if anyone had some they would like to add to the list.

Princess Kail is a pro domme, and some of her clients are into extreme humiliation. One enjoys having her take him outside and throw eggs at him, or smashing an egg on his forehead during a scene. Another likes to be taken out in public for foot worship and trampling. She will take him to shoe stores and have him help her with removing and putting on shoes.... then take the shoes for a test walk on his body. (Hiking boots she may walk up and down his body to see if they are good all terrain shoes. Heels she me check to see if the heel gets stuck in any cracks or if she has a problem with balancing........ etc)

Another submissive does her laundry each week at a laundry mat. He is to take each dirty sock and sniff it before putting it in the washer, then sniff it again while shorting and folding them.

Another client enjoys puppy play, so she will take him out on a collar and lead on all fours to the park to 'walk her dog'. When people say something, she tells them that they are art students practicing for a skit they have to perform for the class.

As you can tell, Princess Kali did give quite a few new and interesting ideas. I've already been inspired to come up with even more creative ideas of my own........ tying a sub tightly to a bondage wheel and having him 'dance' in front of people (at a D/s club) while being tormented with various impliments. When he started he truly sucked, and of course I made a big deal of how pathetic his attempt was........ it was hysterical to see the John Travolta fingers come out and the fancy footwork he started doing. Everyone watching got a big kick out of it, and so did he.

So......... anyone else have some interesting humiliation ideas they want to share?

MzKim
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RE: Humiliation play - 11/11/2005 6:11:16 AM   
michaelMI


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/18/2005
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i was supposed to attend DomCon, but a Mistress on CM (who will remain nameless, i don't toss around names of anyone...my rule) never showed.

i never quite understood humiliation enough to form an opinion. but some of the things mentioned i do not think i could handle, but that's just me. there may be some things that can be done to humiliate someone in public that would not make too big of a scene to others not in the lifestyle. then again, some subs/slaves may enjoy having such displays of humiliation.

i am trying to keep an opened mind here, so i would welcome any ideas of humiliation and how they affect the physical and mental well-being of the sub/slave.

(in reply to LadyKim)
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RE: Humiliation play - 11/11/2005 6:16:31 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
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quote:


So......... anyone else have some interesting humiliation ideas they want to share?


"Good ideas" are relative.

I actually find that public humiliation that involves an audience of non-consenting vanillas (and who probably aren't even all adults) to be completely out of line, and part of what gives this lifestyle a bad name and perpetuates the idea that we are "freaks".

I'll agree with you- it's humiliation at a whole new level - and not a good one. Perhaps the difference is that with "clients" rather than a sub one is in a personal relationship with, being considerate of others is less of an issue than getting one's fee. That line is going to spark a lot of controversy but it needs to be said. It's a shame because in general, I resepct prodommes.

quote:

some subs/slaves may enjoy having such displays of humiliation.


Right. But what about the vanilla non-consenting audience?

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 11/11/2005 6:31:19 AM >


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RE: Humiliation play - 11/11/2005 6:50:07 AM   
LadyKim


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Not all public humiliation play has to be 'out there'. Remember, the pro domme doing that lives in New York City where some of her techniques will not have the same public shock value it would if performed in rural America.

There are three levels of humiliation.... embarrassement, humiliation, and degregation. Princess Kali does delve more into the degrading end with some of the ideas she shared; however, not all public play has to be so extreme. It could be taking a sub to a football game, and having him is in the home section while wearing the opposing teams colors and cheering for them. Or.... having him go shoe shopping wearing socks that don't match........ or having him go into a lingerie store with you and pick out panties (asking for help from the store employees).

There is no rule in humiliation play that states public scenes must embarrass, offend, or affect the public at large beyond producing a chuckle or raised eyebrow. How many times have you seen someone wearing two shoes that didn't match or toilet paper hanging from their shoes and become offended???? What would you think if you saw a man holding a woman's foot and massaging it while looking up at her with respect and adoration? That her foot hurt? How sweet that he cares so much to take care of her? Who would think that she is demanding foot worship in public?

I was not saying that public senses need to be extreme. Play does not have to be reserved for one on one or dungeon locales to be acceptable. Humiliation is extremely easy to take into public without offending the vanilla community. Actually, it is one of the easiest and least offensive styles of play we can do anywhere without being considered 'freaks'.

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
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RE: Humiliation play - 11/11/2005 6:54:43 AM   
Jasmyn


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From: New Zealand
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This is a list of humiliation ideas, something I wrote sometime ago

Humiliation

Fine Dining
Having their meals ordered and drink choices approved will unnerve most men, submissive or not. But unlike most average joe blows, the submissive male will relish every moment of it. It can be a gradual process from a drink here to a meal there, to complete meal management. Have some fun with it:

- order the child’s portion and a brightly coloured kid’s cocktail complete with parasol and sparkler
- befriend your waitress/waiter and find excuses to draw them to your table
- feed him morsels from your plate
- cut up his food and give him a plastic knife and fork set to use
- have him address you formally
- approve everything, from him allowed to refill his glass, to how much food he is to eat off his plate
- make a feminine wine glass tag out of bright ribbons and bows and make him attach it to his glass
- make him ‘pay’ for the meal using lower denomination notes and cents

Best Dressed
Women have the luxury of choosing whether or not to remain stereotyped into gender dress codes thus we can have a lot of fun playing with how our sub shall dress for us when in public. Keep it simple but don’t be afraid to turn it up a notch if he is blaise about his predicament or has a desire to have his limits pushed.

- have him wear a brightly coloured bra under a white shirt
- paint his nails
- paint his toe nails and have him wear open toed sandals
- have him wear a broach or other elabourate feminine jewelry
- bind his cock and balls and tie a sizeable tag to them declaring your Ownership of it
- make him wear spandex or lace or chiffon as outer wear
- make him wear low rise pants/jeans showing off a pair of pantyhose, g-string, frilly knickers, floral panties
- make him wear grandma’s togs with built in bust shaping and support
- make him wear a corset or waist clincher
- tie a pink ribbon about his throat
- have him wear a floral wrist corsage
- have him carry cometics, tampons, sanitary pads and a douching kit or adult diapers in his very own ‘handbag’
- make him wear a woman’s tailored pants suit
- make him wear blush, eyeliner and a floral scent

Ask for the Impossible
Give tasks that are almost impossible to fulfill or requires some thought on their behalf, or makes them to go outside their comfort zones to complete them. They want to please you and ultimately you should let them, but suddenly demanding something of them that has no ryhme or reason can upset the apple cart and can make them question the sincerity of their submission to you. Think about why you are setting this particular task. What is its purpose? Are you setting them up to fail so they have to face a consequence that will push a limit/boundary? Or is it you genuinely wish the task completed and genuinely wish to reward them for it?

- take dancing lessons
- find a copy of an obscure book
- have him serve tea and scones in high heels wearing a bell you don’t wish to hear, ever
- have him translate a poem into a foreign language and recite it while wearing the traditional dress of that country or a little bo peep outfit
- have him balance two marbles on the back’s of his hands while kneeling on an uncomfortable surface for a set amount of time
- find a non-existent passage in the Bible
- write a believable bi-sexual fantasy

>>

Public humiliation...love it.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


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RE: Humiliation play - 11/11/2005 6:56:33 AM   
michaelMI


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i understand now. it's not about calling attention to the parties involved as it is more about having a little fun from time to time and it doesn't have to be extreme. if i'm missing the point, i apologize.

(in reply to LadyKim)
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RE: Humiliation play - 11/11/2005 1:53:55 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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I am in total agreement with Ms Sonnet Marwood regarding the nonconsensual public.

I don't care HOW big your city is, you cannot control who is watching what you are doing. How do you think the staff of the shoe store felt, watching someone be trampled in the store? That was taking the scene that one step too far, and involving folks who I am sure were made uncomfortable.

Kali's other ideas---and Ms Jasmyn's!---are just super, and loads of fun. How easy would it be to take the more extreme things and move them into a venue of scene folks, who might not be thrilled with what they were seeing, but at least wouldn't be disturbed.

Ms Francine

edited to correct a misspelled name!

< Message edited by LadyHibiscus -- 11/11/2005 1:55:40 PM >

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RE: Humiliation play - 11/11/2005 2:17:39 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

quote:


So......... anyone else have some interesting humiliation ideas they want to share?


"Good ideas" are relative.

I actually find that public humiliation that involves an audience of non-consenting vanillas (and who probably aren't even all adults) to be completely out of line, and part of what gives this lifestyle a bad name and perpetuates the idea that we are "freaks".

I'll agree with you- it's humiliation at a whole new level - and not a good one. Perhaps the difference is that with "clients" rather than a sub one is in a personal relationship with, being considerate of others is less of an issue than getting one's fee. That line is going to spark a lot of controversy but it needs to be said. It's a shame because in general, I resepct prodommes.

quote:

some subs/slaves may enjoy having such displays of humiliation.


Right. But what about the vanilla non-consenting audience?


You took the words right out of my mouth Sonnet. I consider those ideas highly irresponsible.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
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RE: Humiliation play - 11/11/2005 2:19:10 PM   
LadyAngelika


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Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

Remember, the pro domme doing that lives in New York City where some of her techniques will not have the same public shock value it would if performed in rural America.


Funny. I was in New York city about 5 months ago and I went to a *few* shoe stores (a few shoe stores is like saying a small elephant for me) and I recall seeing children in them...

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LadyKim)
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RE: Humiliation play - 11/11/2005 5:42:41 PM   
Boondoggle


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To me, refraining from a legal activity in a legal place because you just might offend someone is foolish. Sure, someone might be made uncomfortable when they weren't expecting it. Frankly, too bad, that's life. I get upset and uncomfortable every time I hear that bafoon holding the office of the preseidency talk; I'm not comfortable driving in rush hour traffic; I absolutely hate when cars seem to blatantly ignore me as I bike to work. These aren't anyone elses problems but mine.

To continue with the shoe store example, if a child sees a woman trampling a man in the store, they are seeing just that, nothing more. Seeing this action isn't going to scar them. Most likely, they will just curiously ask their parent what those people are doing. While the parent may very well know that there is something underlying the strange display, it is because he has had some exposure to that dynamic before and, hopefully, has the maturity to tell his child they are just playing a game or something. Had the child seen two rabbits f*cking in the park outside, she would probably ask her daddy a similar question, and, again, he will hopefully have the maturity to respond appropriately for a young child.

No one can hope to always protect themselves and their kids from uncomfortable or unplesant events. Life is always going to challenge peoples preconcieved notions and expectations whether we (as perverts) 'play' in public or not. I think this is a very good thing. I think everyone needs to be challeneged more, especially socially.

That said, I still think there are still times when legal, kinky, public activities are inapropriate. A human pony parade at 3pm next to an elementry school as kids are released from school, for (a rather extreme) example, is inapropriate. Nothing I've seen posted in this thread, however, approaches that.

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RE: Humiliation play - 11/11/2005 8:04:56 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Boondoggle
That said, I still think there are still times when legal, kinky, public activities are inapropriate. A human pony parade at 3pm next to an elementry school as kids are released from school, for (a rather extreme) example, is inapropriate. Nothing I've seen posted in this thread, however, approaches that.


I think the 'we are art students' line used by Mistress Kali when taking a sub for a walk on a collar and leash was brilliant for the circumstances.

I remember an incident with a sub at a cafe in which he was wearing bright pink nail polish on all his digits, open toed sandals, etc...and from the look on the waitress's face I knew she had seen his painted nails. So I nonchalantly explained "he lost a bet this morning...so he has to wear nail polish and my pink knickers for a week, while I get to wear his y-fronts and scratch my nads!" ...she laughed and went about her business.

Sex, nudity/exhibitionism, and masturbation are the only things I refrain from doing publically.

Also I am not entirely keen on keeping the 'public' part of 'public humiliation' I do to kink-friendly environments, as it has been my experience that kink-friendly people can be just as offended or judgemental, if not more so, than the general joe public when engaging in what it is I do.



_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


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RE: Humiliation play - 11/11/2005 8:19:51 PM   
mnottertail


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TV. think about it.....non-consensual and pervasive. Christians, same fucking shit. Every cock-susking sunday.....non-consensual.

people swear, people fuck, people wear perfume (that makes me puke cause I am allergic, but that's a fuckin fine deal cause ou aint hurtin nobody like cigarettes) so don't hand me this consensual - non-consensual asswipe.

So you are saving your kids from what fucking terror in life? I follow the desire to protect, but this shit happens in front of behind and beside any
day of the week.

If you live it is a certainty you will die. Lotta people out here running around saving others from the boogie man. Wehn does a kiss in public become a fucking vendetta for the populous, How about a long, hard stare?




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RE: Humiliation play - 11/11/2005 8:30:10 PM   
Jasmyn


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From: New Zealand
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Amen to that...

I fear soon the kink scene will be telling me I can't wear high heels and pvc in public for fear people will recognise it as the trappings of a fem dom and by viewing said attire will be non-consensually involved in my kink... if my partner wears a pink floral shirt accompanying myself on a date, is that public humiliation or his personal clothing choice? Is it anyone's business but ours?


_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


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RE: Humiliation play - 11/11/2005 10:13:44 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

Amen to that...

I fear soon the kink scene will be telling me I can't wear high heels and pvc in public for fear people will recognise it as the trappings of a fem dom and by viewing said attire will be non-consensually involved in my kink... if my partner wears a pink floral shirt accompanying myself on a date, is that public humiliation or his personal clothing choice? Is it anyone's business but ours?



To me, that's different than walking on someone in a shoe store. ~shrug~ Maybe it's a fine line, but for me, dressing as one chooses within the decency laws doesn't really bother me, but engaging in -overtly- sexual or "scene related" behavior does.

For example, I have no problem with people in clothing or adorment or makeup that isn't stereotypically associated with their gender. Nor with casual displays of affection between partners of any gender and number. (Well, to be more correct, I am an active advocate of all sexual orientations and configurations getting the same priviledges heterosexual couples have.) I -do- have a problem with someone urinating in their pants in public (intentionally) or, hell, giving one's partner a blowjob on a public bus. Kink or no kink I prefer overt sexual acts stay in venues that are more appropriate. (Including clubs and screenings of the ROcky Horror Picture Show)

I dont' know that I could codify it into a set of rules that work for me, but there's a difference, for me, between those sets of behaviors.

< Message edited by perverseangelic -- 11/11/2005 10:15:32 PM >


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RE: Humiliation play - 11/11/2005 11:23:13 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Boondoggle

To me, refraining from a legal activity in a legal place because you just might offend someone is foolish. Sure, someone might be made uncomfortable when they weren't expecting it. Frankly, too bad, that's life. I get upset and uncomfortable every time I hear that bafoon holding the office of the preseidency talk; I'm not comfortable driving in rush hour traffic; I absolutely hate when cars seem to blatantly ignore me as I bike to work. These aren't anyone elses problems but mine.

To continue with the shoe store example, if a child sees a woman trampling a man in the store, they are seeing just that, nothing more. Seeing this action isn't going to scar them. Most likely, they will just curiously ask their parent what those people are doing. While the parent may very well know that there is something underlying the strange display, it is because he has had some exposure to that dynamic before and, hopefully, has the maturity to tell his child they are just playing a game or something. Had the child seen two rabbits f*cking in the park outside, she would probably ask her daddy a similar question, and, again, he will hopefully have the maturity to respond appropriately for a young child.

No one can hope to always protect themselves and their kids from uncomfortable or unplesant events. Life is always going to challenge peoples preconcieved notions and expectations whether we (as perverts) 'play' in public or not. I think this is a very good thing. I think everyone needs to be challeneged more, especially socially.

That said, I still think there are still times when legal, kinky, public activities are inapropriate. A human pony parade at 3pm next to an elementry school as kids are released from school, for (a rather extreme) example, is inapropriate. Nothing I've seen posted in this thread, however, approaches that.


When people put their desire to get their rocks off above being conscious of the rights of others, I start to wonder about their levels of selfishness, obsession with their own kink and plain manners.

Sure, people get "offended" by all sorts of rude and/or inappropriate behavior by others in public. We constantly excuse people for being offensive, ill mannered, inappropriate or obnoxious. In most cases, these offensive people don't know any better and are not purposely *drawing attention to themselves for the purpose of sexual gratification*.

If a man is getting trampled in a public shoe store, the only thing different than him getting trampled in the privacy of his own home is the public that is being involved in order to get his rocks off. Those people didn't consent to watching his display of foolishness.

Sure, if I was there in the care of a child and the child asked me later what they were doing, I could explain it. I wouldn't say they were expressing themselves or give them some other "justficiation" -- I'd tell it like it is. I'd tell the child they were rude, selfish individuals that seriously lacked class and tact.

Hey, if that's part of your "humiliation" fantasy, go for it. But I'd question the judgment of the partner you are with who finds that kind of public behavior acceptable.

Akasha

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(in reply to Boondoggle)
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RE: Humiliation play - 11/12/2005 10:44:13 AM   
Boondoggle


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I think our difference in opinion lies in the fact that you consider the motivation behind the act relevent, whereas I don't. I don't think of this kind of humiliation play as rude or selfish because I don't view it in the context of a sexual relationship, rather, I take the action simply at face value and compare it to accepted societal standards. Whether anyone is getting their rocks off or not is a moot point, IMO.

Going back to the trampling example, a woman walking on a man in a shoe store is weird, very weird, even, but when simply taken at face value and not trying to imply or extrapolate some sort of relationship, a woman walking on a man isn't rude or selfish, just unusual.

(in reply to AAkasha)
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RE: Humiliation play - 11/12/2005 10:50:20 AM   
AAkasha


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Boondoggle

I think our difference in opinion lies in the fact that you consider the motivation behind the act relevent, whereas I don't. I don't think of this kind of humiliation play as rude or selfish because I don't view it in the context of a sexual relationship, rather, I take the action simply at face value and compare it to accepted societal standards. Whether anyone is getting their rocks off or not is a moot point, IMO.

Going back to the trampling example, a woman walking on a man in a shoe store is weird, very weird, even, but when simply taken at face value and not trying to imply or extrapolate some sort of relationship, a woman walking on a man isn't rude or selfish, just unusual.


Do you behave in a manner that complete ignores your impact on anyone around you at any given time? The motivation for an act is totally irrelevant?

You are just trying to remove responsibility. Again, totally selfish. If that justification makes it ok for you to do it, fine. But I wouldn't want to be your partner.

Akasha

_____________________________

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Humiliation play - 11/12/2005 5:24:41 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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I am really surprised that so many of you seem to have no idea of what is APPROPRIATE in a public setting. Do you have no limits for public behavior? Belching out loud in restaurants, no big deal, just a natural function? Say anything you want in a loud voice, don't worry about who you insult? Perform acts that could get you arrested or thrown out of a place, it's all good because you're expressing yourself?

This is just sad and alarming. No wonder so many in the scene lack social skills, if the idea of behaving appropriately and in a manner that will not disturb others is so strange.

Francine.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Humiliation play - 11/12/2005 6:31:20 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Boondoggle

I think our difference in opinion lies in the fact that you consider the motivation behind the act relevent, whereas I don't. I don't think of this kind of humiliation play as rude or selfish because I don't view it in the context of a sexual relationship, rather, I take the action simply at face value and compare it to accepted societal standards. Whether anyone is getting their rocks off or not is a moot point, IMO.

Going back to the trampling example, a woman walking on a man in a shoe store is weird, very weird, even, but when simply taken at face value and not trying to imply or extrapolate some sort of relationship, a woman walking on a man isn't rude or selfish, just unusual.


Well said Boondoggle.

In the scenario I gave of my partner wearing a pink shirt. Now that could simply be his own fashion sense...or it could be because I insisted he wear it because I know he considers himself a masculine man and wouldn't dare wear pink of his own accord....hence it's humiliating for him. We go out in public, him in pink, wahlah 'public humiliation'...to anyone else...it's a man wearing pink.

quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

To me, that's different than walking on someone in a shoe store. ~shrug~ Maybe it's a fine line, but for me, dressing as one chooses within the decency laws doesn't really bother me, but engaging in -overtly- sexual or "scene related" behavior does.

For example, I have no problem with people in clothing or adorment or makeup that isn't stereotypically associated with their gender. Nor with casual displays of affection between partners of any gender and number. (Well, to be more correct, I am an active advocate of all sexual orientations and configurations getting the same priviledges heterosexual couples have.) I -do- have a problem with someone urinating in their pants in public (intentionally) or, hell, giving one's partner a blowjob on a public bus. Kink or no kink I prefer overt sexual acts stay in venues that are more appropriate. (Including clubs and screenings of the ROcky Horror Picture Show)

I dont' know that I could codify it into a set of rules that work for me, but there's a difference, for me, between those sets of behaviors.


And above I posted that for public humiliation I draw the line at sex, nudism/exhibitionism, and masturbation. Everything listed in my ideas for public humiliation can be done, and have been done under my guidance, and not caused offence.

A sub, a sissy, wishing to whisk me away for a night was given three lists of items he needed to get. He had instructions to go to three different supermarkets and for at least one item on each list he had to ask for help to find them. Your usual array of feminine products, condoms, phallic vegetables and lube included. As far as anyone knew he was a man in a supermarket...not much of a rarity these days...buying feminine hygenie products...even less of a rarity these days. The fact he was wearing diapers underneath his jeans...interesting... but not anything that couldn't be explained away as 'inconteninence' or 'recovering from surgery' if anyone was to ask.

Also, in everyone's haste to disparage an accomplished professional's techniques...let's not forget we weren't there in the shoe store with her...we don't know that she didn't ascertain the environment before embarking on a mini-shoe scene in a shoe store...we don't know if she had the store owner's full permission to do so.

I've often taken guys lingerie shopping...a quick discussion with the manager or owner if this guy could try on some outfits seems to suffice. I remember one day, out of 12 shops we went to only one said no they wouldn't feel comfortable if he did so....the rest seemed to fall over themselves in their haste to be of assistance.

Boondoggle is right, looking at the motivation behind the act from your own personal experiences is in part the problem. Scene related or not, is only a person's interpretation of what they themselves are seeing that causes them offense.


< Message edited by Jasmyn -- 11/12/2005 6:36:58 PM >


_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Humiliation play - 11/12/2005 7:47:46 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

quote:

ORIGINAL: Boondoggle

I think our difference in opinion lies in the fact that you consider the motivation behind the act relevent, whereas I don't. I don't think of this kind of humiliation play as rude or selfish because I don't view it in the context of a sexual relationship, rather, I take the action simply at face value and compare it to accepted societal standards. Whether anyone is getting their rocks off or not is a moot point, IMO.

Going back to the trampling example, a woman walking on a man in a shoe store is weird, very weird, even, but when simply taken at face value and not trying to imply or extrapolate some sort of relationship, a woman walking on a man isn't rude or selfish, just unusual.


Well said Boondoggle.

In the scenario I gave of my partner wearing a pink shirt. Now that could simply be his own fashion sense...or it could be because I insisted he wear it because I know he considers himself a masculine man and wouldn't dare wear pink of his own accord....hence it's humiliating for him. We go out in public, him in pink, wahlah 'public humiliation'...to anyone else...it's a man wearing pink.

quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

To me, that's different than walking on someone in a shoe store. ~shrug~ Maybe it's a fine line, but for me, dressing as one chooses within the decency laws doesn't really bother me, but engaging in -overtly- sexual or "scene related" behavior does.

For example, I have no problem with people in clothing or adorment or makeup that isn't stereotypically associated with their gender. Nor with casual displays of affection between partners of any gender and number. (Well, to be more correct, I am an active advocate of all sexual orientations and configurations getting the same priviledges heterosexual couples have.) I -do- have a problem with someone urinating in their pants in public (intentionally) or, hell, giving one's partner a blowjob on a public bus. Kink or no kink I prefer overt sexual acts stay in venues that are more appropriate. (Including clubs and screenings of the ROcky Horror Picture Show)

I dont' know that I could codify it into a set of rules that work for me, but there's a difference, for me, between those sets of behaviors.


And above I posted that for public humiliation I draw the line at sex, nudism/exhibitionism, and masturbation. Everything listed in my ideas for public humiliation can be done, and have been done under my guidance, and not caused offence.

A sub, a sissy, wishing to whisk me away for a night was given three lists of items he needed to get. He had instructions to go to three different supermarkets and for at least one item on each list he had to ask for help to find them. Your usual array of feminine products, condoms, phallic vegetables and lube included. As far as anyone knew he was a man in a supermarket...not much of a rarity these days...buying feminine hygenie products...even less of a rarity these days. The fact he was wearing diapers underneath his jeans...interesting... but not anything that couldn't be explained away as 'inconteninence' or 'recovering from surgery' if anyone was to ask.

Also, in everyone's haste to disparage an accomplished professional's techniques...let's not forget we weren't there in the shoe store with her...we don't know that she didn't ascertain the environment before embarking on a mini-shoe scene in a shoe store...we don't know if she had the store owner's full permission to do so.

I've often taken guys lingerie shopping...a quick discussion with the manager or owner if this guy could try on some outfits seems to suffice. I remember one day, out of 12 shops we went to only one said no they wouldn't feel comfortable if he did so....the rest seemed to fall over themselves in their haste to be of assistance.

Boondoggle is right, looking at the motivation behind the act from your own personal experiences is in part the problem. Scene related or not, is only a person's interpretation of what they themselves are seeing that causes them offense.



There is a huge difference between subtle acts that could be seen in an every day situation and acts that are NOT seen in an every day situation -- like a man being trampled in a shoe store.

These humiliation threads always go this route -- people backpaddle into justifying the "subtle" humiliation play in public and pretend they never used the kinds of examples like the trampling. Boondoggle continued to try to lump it into "ok":

quote:

Going back to the trampling example, a woman walking on a man in a shoe store is weird, very weird, even, but when simply taken at face value and not trying to imply or extrapolate some sort of relationship, a woman walking on a man isn't rude or selfish, just unusual.


You don't think walking on a man in a shoe store (in public, for the humiliation factor) isn't rude or selfish? The two people in this scenario *have* to do it IN a shoe store? Why? Does it have to do with the fact that other women will look at them, some with disgust? Did these women consent? Did the store clerk consent? The people trying to conduct business, who see customers walk half way in, and then turn around and walk out?

Making a man buy embarrassing items at a grocery store is one thing. So is making him wear lingerie under clothing that might be noticable if someone looked close enough and had a clue about such things. Or, asking *permission* to have a man try on things in a dressing room. But the shoe store example is ridiculous.

Akasha

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(in reply to Jasmyn)
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