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Experience? - 7/12/2008 1:21:29 PM   
tucsongirlie


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline 		How important is experience in a dom?  Particularly for a new sub?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Experience? - 7/12/2008 1:23:20 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		 Zero to completely.

Experience in what?  I don't really care that he doesn't know how to drive a gondola.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to tucsongirlie)
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RE: Experience? - 7/12/2008 1:23:37 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Depends.  If he's going to spank you and make you bow to him, not that much.  If he's going to do breath play and use a single-tail, experience matters a lot.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to tucsongirlie)
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RE: Experience? - 7/12/2008 1:30:58 PM   
tucsongirlie


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline 		Well, since this is a BDSM site, I assumed it was natural to conclude I meant experience in BDSM.  Sorry for not being more specific.

And I don't mean just for scenes- what about in a more 24/7 relationship?  Is that possible to do without great difficulty with two people who have no experience in it?

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Experience? - 7/12/2008 1:35:04 PM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tucsongirlie

And I don't mean just for scenes- what about in a more 24/7 relationship?  Is that possible to do without great difficulty with two people who have no experience in it?


Is it possible for two people who have never been married and have no experience at being married to get married and be good at it?
 
A relationship is a relationship; either you are both going to put effort into making it work or you are not. 

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to tucsongirlie)
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RE: Experience? - 7/12/2008 1:44:28 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Ability to learn -- including ability to learn about you -- is more important than experience before meeting you.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)
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RE: Experience? - 7/12/2008 1:45:18 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		It seems your looking for a rule book that doesnt exist. 
Forget it ... every relationship is different and will evolve on it' own. 
If you find your submission to him priceless while he finds being dominant fufilling it will all work itself out. 



_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

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RE: Experience? - 7/12/2008 1:48:42 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

How important is experience in a dom? Particularly for a new sub?


What's more important to you?  That he calls himself a dom with x years of experience?
Or
That he is a caring, responsible person with whom you'd like to build a relationship?

Everyone has to have their first "experience" somewhere.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to tucsongirlie)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Experience? - 7/12/2008 3:50:33 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline 		If you want to learn more about the real time BDSM community, you might want to check out Desert Dominion here in Tucson.  A link to our website is below my signature.

< Message edited by HarryVanWinkle -- 7/12/2008 3:51:11 PM >

(in reply to tucsongirlie)
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RE: Experience? - 7/12/2008 3:51:23 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

How important is experience in a dom? Particularly for a new sub?


What's more important to you?  That he calls himself a dom with x years of experience?
Or
That he is a caring, responsible person with whom you'd like to build a relationship?

Everyone has to have their first "experience" somewhere.


Wow Katy, that's an awesome post- best fuzzy of the day so far.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Experience? - 7/12/2008 6:57:09 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He had a lot of experience as a bondage top, but I'm his first sub. As long as he wasn't going to cause damage by not knowing what he was doing ropewise, that's all that mattered to me. However I would have been fine if he had no experience but had done the research. Erotic Bondage, Two Knotty Boys, workshops at TES etc. All that matters to me is that he knows what he's doing so I'll be safe. How he learned it is less important.

D/s experience? I've liked us both being novices. It means I don't get told that I'm not a true sub like his ex of six years while he conveniently forgets that she didn't know what she was doing in the beginning either. He likes that I'm a novice for the same reason, he got real tired of meeting women who would say "That's not how my ex master did things". We've learned together, we've talked things out, we ask for feedback and get it as to whether something is working for us or not.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 11
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