When is groveling sexy?

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When is groveling sexy? - 7/15/2008 3:20:20 PM

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Your answer:

a. always!
b. never!
c. rarely
d. in certain circumstances....

More important question: When is groveling sexy from a man you just met or barely know?
a. always!
b. never!
c. rarely
d. in certain circumstances....

Femdoms, honestly, how do you feel about groveling? When does it turn you on? When does it turn you off?

Submissive men - what is it about groveling - why do some subs like to behave that way fairly early on? Are there other subs that never like to grovel or will not, refuse to? Are there some subs who really yearn to be in that position but only after some serious build up?

I don't think many "instant grovelers" spend time on this forum, but I know many femdoms have encountered them at parties or in their email box. I'm curious if the more polished and classy submissives have an opinion on the motivation of their "groveling brothers" -- do submissives who instantl grovel do it because they think all femdoms like it, or do they do it because it is what turns them on themselves, or do they do it because they simply cannot help it?

Femdoms, have you ever corrected groveling behavior, and how did you do it? Did you ever dominate a man who adopted a groveling type persona in response to domination and it either really turned you off or turned you on?

Groveling: Just say no! or
Groveling: GO FOR IT!?

Akasha

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/15/2008 4:18:27 PM

KneelingSilently

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Submissive men - what is it about groveling - why do some subs like to behave that way fairly early on? Are there other subs that never like to grovel or will not, refuse to? Are there some subs who really yearn to be in that position but only after some serious build up?

Akasha

Hm. Never done it, myself. I can see the appeal in a scene of sorts, after build up as you as say. "Please... please let me cum... pleeeeease...." I'd have to try it and let ya know

Outside of that context, though? "Please... please let me go to the movies with my friends tomorrow night... pleeease..." Nope. Nothing sexy there. As for the ones who do it early on? Looking for a reaction of disgust I'd say.

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/15/2008 4:30:26 PM

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Somehow I doubt it's a reaction of disgust there going for

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/15/2008 5:26:49 PM

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Define groveling verses begging.

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/15/2008 6:11:22 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Your answer:

a. always!
b. never!
c. rarely
d. in certain circumstances....

More important question: When is groveling sexy from a man you just met or barely know?
a. always!
b. never!
c. rarely
d. in certain circumstances....

Femdoms, honestly, how do you feel about groveling? When does it turn you on? When does it turn you off?

In answer to both: almost never. Very, very rarely on in certain circumstances from certain people is it a turn-on.

However, on whether or not I just plain like it: often, so long as it's done in a way I like.

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/15/2008 6:19:01 PM

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I dislike whining, groveling, and begging in about equal measure.

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/15/2008 6:45:09 PM

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B. with a cap... NEVER! I don't correct it... I banish it!

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/15/2008 6:47:54 PM

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Hi AAkasha

There is groveling and there is begging. In my view groveling is begging gone too far.

When is groveling sexy?... Never. ...The guys who grovel in my inbox are deleted. I've tried setting my mail controls to send all groveling men to balk but apparently that function does not exist. Lucky I have my assistant Cindy. She deletes the grovelers.

When is begging sexy?....When it is called for. Begging in my inbox is a turn off. So when is begging called for? When you've been in your CB300 for three days and I am giving you a full body massage and you just can't take it anymore and you need release. I like the guys who beg creatively by telling me what they will do for me after I release them.

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/15/2008 6:48:03 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Your answer:

d. in certain circumstances....

More important question: When is groveling sexy from a man you just met or barely know?

b. never!

Femdoms, honestly, how do you feel about groveling? When does it turn you on? When does it turn you off? [clipped]

Femdoms, have you ever corrected groveling behavior, and how did you do it? Did you ever dominate a man who adopted a groveling type persona in response to domination and it either really turned you off or turned you on?

Groveling: Just say no! or
Groveling: GO FOR IT!?

Akasha

Groveling -- the only time I want to see it is if I demand it (usually as part of a punishment).
Instant groveling is a sure road to my "ignore" list... both in person and in virtual mediums.

I have corrected groveling behavior, primarily in servants I've trained to serve me. They learn quickly that groveling gets no response at all or gets a "Get up and go do something worthwhile!" comment. I've had a couple of submissive men that I've worked with who were unable to get it through their heads that the groveling peeved me -- I'd like to think the door hitting them in the ass on the way out might have helped, but I doubt it.

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/15/2008 6:50:54 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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Groveling from someone I barely know is a big, fat HELL NO. I find it boring at best and at worst, repulsive. It takes no particular skill to boss around someone who prostrates him/herself for every Pam, Jill, and Mary. The fact that the individual has lumped me in with every other woman claiming to be dominant offends me. I have no use for a spineless worm and the subs who contact me with this type of intro are ignored. If they're particularly annoying, they get blocked.

Groveling from someone I do know well gets a very reserved "maybe" but only if it's part of a specific scene. If the roles we've adopted call for groveling, then I might accept it as part of the play. However, it's not a turn-on in and of itself. Once we're back to our "normal" D/s relationship, I expect him/her to return to his/her usual strong, intelligent, competent self. I much prefer a sub who is spirited and bows to very few, yet bends the knee to me out of respect I've earned.

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/15/2008 7:51:50 PM

jim64

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Please, let me beg and grovel. Only, through this may i be the gravy of my own pity. Biscuits and jelly are a plus.

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/15/2008 8:21:56 PM

Dari

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Hrm.

D, and D.

If a stranger grovels, thinking it will ingratiate him with me, it's not going to attract my attention.

If I am playing with a friend (not one of MINE, just a casual play partner type), and there's groveling as part of a scene, then it's all good - as long as the groveling's honest. I don't ever want to hear groveling just because I want to hear it. But if you're groveling because you just cannot for one moment stand being without whatever you're abasing yourself for? That's satisfying, if it's part of our defined scene.

While I love begging from my own subs, I don't like groveling. The nature of the subs that I choose to keep, and the relationships I like to develop as long-term relationships, are such that I don't want to think they're so completely abased that they think they need to grovel. I get far more of a charge out of long-term submission when it's a person who is my equal, and chooses to submit, than I do about someone who thinks he's barely worthy to lick my boots.

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/15/2008 8:47:34 PM

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It seems to be the consensus that a male sub is VERY sexy when he crawls over with his mouth stuffed with $100.00 bills.

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/15/2008 9:15:17 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: StaceyTheBitch

Hi AAkasha

There is groveling and there is begging. In my view groveling is begging gone too far.

When is groveling sexy?... Never. ...The guys who grovel in my inbox are deleted. I've tried setting my mail controls to send all groveling men to balk but apparently that function does not exist. Lucky I have my assistant Cindy. She deletes the grovelers.

When is begging sexy?....When it is called for. Begging in my inbox is a turn off. So when is begging called for? When you've been in your CB300 for three days and I am giving you a full body massage and you just can't take it anymore and you need release. I like the guys who beg creatively by telling me what they will do for me after I release them.

As a general rule, I don't like begging or groveling. I find it particularly distasteful when it is done or expected at initial contact, before any chemistry can be realistically established. I think that's ridiculous. However, in the right circumstances, begging or groveling can be the appropriate response, and one that a domme can savor if she's so inclined. It's explicit proof that she's really gotten to her sub. Stacey's description above is a prime example of this. I can certainly imagine myself reduced to begging if she had me in that situation.

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/15/2008 11:41:00 PM

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quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Submissive men - what is it about groveling - why do some subs like to behave that way fairly early on? Are there other subs that never like to grovel or will not, refuse to? Are there some subs who really yearn to be in that position but only after some serious build up?

Akasha

i don't naturally beg, it's really not in me. i do give the playful whimper but i do not beg. i would beg if it is ordered of me and try to do it seriously with a straight face. i really have no indignity that i wouldn't do if Ma'am desired; sure i'd be embarassed but i'll get over it and we'll laugh about with friends ever after.

i think the only other time i'd bag would be when i think Ma'am would be amused by it, and it would be in an obviously playful manner.

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/15/2008 11:49:33 PM

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Just say NO to groveling.

All of the submissive males I admire carry themselves in a very dignified manner. They are swift when given an order and interact with me like a normal human being the rest of the time.

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/16/2008 12:43:17 AM

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D. in certain circumstances groveling or begging would be appropriate.

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/16/2008 5:44:24 AM

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Tammyjo makes a good point; what exactly IS the difference between grovelling and begging?
I "just know" what it is for myself, and based on that, I can safely say I NEVER like grovelling and LOVE begging.
But I can't offhand give you the definitions...except to say that even the slightest hint of whining is a total turnoff, and I think of grovelling as involving whining and begging as not. But that's just part of the difference.

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/16/2008 5:51:32 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

Groveling -- the only time I want to see it is if I demand it (usually as part of a punishment).
Instant groveling is a sure road to my "ignore" list... both in person and in virtual mediums.

I have corrected groveling behavior, primarily in servants I've trained to serve me. They learn quickly that groveling gets no response at all or gets a "Get up and go do something worthwhile!" comment. I've had a couple of submissive men that I've worked with who were unable to get it through their heads that the groveling peeved me -- I'd like to think the door hitting them in the ass on the way out might have helped, but I doubt it.

Ditto!!!

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RE: When is groveling sexy? - 7/16/2008 7:16:07 AM

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For me…

Grovelling or begging from a man, (or woman) = turn off, whether I know them or not. From someone I know, (depending on the circumstances) I see it as calculated manipulation. From strangers, it’s just sad.

Begging for an everyday, non-kink, non-sexual request when I have said no to that request = my annoyance.

Grovelling at my no to above request = greater annoyance.

Begging, in a play session with someone I have a connection with, and when I have inspired enough sexual frustration for them to want to beg, and then given them permission to do so, (for example “please may I play with myself/rub your feet/cum“…. “You want it? Beg for it“) is a HELL-YES-HORNINESS for me

. A playful little whimper, or a genuine sense of urgency in the voice of my frustrated one gives me the femdom joy-joys. I enjoy the dichotomy of ‘corrupting’ a normally classy man, who carries himself with grace to the outside world (qualities I find attractive separately and in their own right anyway) and turning him into a wanton, begging ‘slut‘ ;) lol. Great fun!

As a proviso, I should mention I have no problems with someone begging in an emergency, for example, someone is falling off a cliff, and begging me to call the emergency services or to assist them - yeah, sure, no problem lmao!

So I guess that’s d and b (unless it’s life threatening lol

).

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