RE: A Question for Dominant Men (Full Version)

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DesFIP -> RE: A Question for Dominant Men (7/22/2008 7:02:49 AM)

Put the requirements into the ad. Then they can't whine about it because they knew up front.
As far as the rest. ID shown every time, releases signed every time.
Consult your lawyer, accountant and zoning code. If this is an adult business near a school zone, that's highly illegal. The last thing you need is somebody bringing his naked kneeling slave in from a car within view of a school.



KnightofMists -> RE: A Question for Dominant Men (7/22/2008 4:51:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: msprudence
"Is everyone over 21" and "Will all acts be consentual?"

The response:  "None of your business."  or "I'll do what I want to do."



You have to ask yourself... what kind of a person give you such a responses to the question you ask.

Do you think they are reasonable questions?... I sure do considering the scene is happening on your property.

So... if you questions are reasonable... and the answer you are getting are not so reasonable.... what does that say about the person giving such an answer.... do you think they are reasonable people?

I would suggest that if you need to explain such a common sense issue to such reasonable questions... you really don't need those kinds of customers.



windchymes -> RE: A Question for Dominant Men (7/22/2008 5:12:30 PM)

I agree with Knight...."real" Doms understand laws and caution, and would respect what you're doing and appreciate the opportunity to have what you're offering, since, as you say, nothing similar is offered anywhere near where you are.  It sounds to me like someone inexperienced and in dom-frenzy is trying to bully you into getting what he wants, the way he's probably going to be bullying the sub he plans to carry in all bound and gagged and probably only halfway consenting to what's going on.  He'll probably bully the consent out of her, too.

Just stick to your guns....word of mouth is a great advertiser and your business will grow more with a good reputation as being well-run than it will by cow-towing to every wanker that comes along.  Good luck with the business!



LadyAngelique01 -> RE: A Question for Dominant Men (7/22/2008 6:11:51 PM)

At the dungeon I play in, we are required to show id and sign a waiver. Any play or fetish wear outside of the building is against the rules. So showing up with a bound and gagged slave would get you refused entry and no refunds on any fees already paid. We actually have a couple of choices of dungeons in the area (well withing 100 miles), but all of them have pretty much the same rules. Outside of the building is public space, kink stays inside to avoid offending anyone.

Its your business what happens on your property. If they want to use your toys, they need to play by your rules.



MichaelR -> RE: A Question for Dominant Men (7/22/2008 8:46:27 PM)

Others have probably covered this stuff, but here's my two cents:

I own a bdsm club.  Some things I've learned (some the hard way):

Always stick to the rules YOU need to operate under.

All the waivers in the world won't protect you if you let something slide.  They might show consent in some fashion, but they will not absolve you of liability.

In every jurisdiction I've checked into the activities in a bdsm dungeon will be considered "adult content" and thus regulated under adult code.   check your local code for requirements in your area.




MichaelR -> RE: A Question for Dominant Men (7/22/2008 8:57:49 PM)

DarkSteven,

While if nothing else worked, I have no doubt that a city would use a unlicensed piercing to harass a bdsm club, that in and of itself wouldn't be enough to close down anything.

The city the labyrinth was in doesn't have a requirement that piercers must be licensed, as far as their city code enumerates.

That city, as with every other one I've researched, consider bdsm activities to fall into a couple of categories:
"specified anatomical areas"  - nudity, basically
"specified sexual activities"    - at the high end, this is sex...at the baseline, it includes touching of the genitals, tits or ass.

As those two things require specialized licensing/regulation, the reason for shutdown, in every case I've looked at, is non-compliance with the regulations for adult content.



Alumbrado -> RE: A Question for Dominant Men (7/22/2008 9:03:38 PM)

If they say 'none of your business', or 'I'll do what I want to do', they aren't customers, they are trouble looking for your place to happen...Just say 'No thanks', ...simple as that, just like any other business.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: A Question for Dominant Men (7/22/2008 9:07:12 PM)

Very simple. You tell them it is your way or the highway. They might be dominant but they are not dominant to you. If they want to use what is YOURS they ahve to go by YOUR rules or they do not get to play. You are better off turning away shady situations and losing a bit of money here and there than you are taking al comers and dealing wth the potential legal ramifications.
Someone earlier said it... if they dont like what you have to say then they can get a hotel room. I gaurantee they cant get aay with dragging someone in bound and gagged there either... I think the checkin clerk would ruin the scee a hell of a lot more.
You might also agree to meeting previous to a scene to sign paperwork if they are really that dead set on arricing already in character. If he wants to bring her bound and gagged that day, he and she need to meet you a day or so before to sign all the papers r it is still a no go. That should let you know how serious they are about wanting your playspace.

DV




StrongSpirit -> RE: A Question for Dominant Men (7/22/2008 9:10:21 PM)

Some of you are stating that you should say something like "I'm sorry, I know you're in character, but for legal reasons, I can't let you in unless you do X".

I disagree.  I would say "Bye."

You are not there to play with them.  You are there to run a business.  

Their refusal to act like a real human being is non-consensual play, with you.   They want to play, fine, let THEM figure out how to get inside while 'in character".




DomDolf -> RE: A Question for Dominant Men (7/23/2008 8:23:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

Some of you are stating that you should say something like "I'm sorry, I know you're in character, but for legal reasons, I can't let you in unless you do X".



I think the reason many are trying to state alternatives to saying bye is because the OP doesn't seem to want to lose/disappoint the customer. Besides the fact that it is just short of guaranteed that a customer lost today won't come back tomorrow, if the business is new or suffering in this awkward economy then the owner wouldn't want to lose any customer against any salvageable situation. Maybe I am misinterpreting this, but I don't think so.

The Dominant in me says, screw you buddy, go to hell and I don't need your kind of business. The business man says, let's not get carried away and as long as I can find a mutually satisfying situation we can resolve this and make everyone happy. When it comes to my success as a business owner I can still stand my ground, not lose face and find a way to get things done without losing the customer. The day I can afford to lose him as a customer, if the behavior or PITA (Pain In The Ass) factor is high enough he's gone.

Dolf



Archer -> RE: A Question for Dominant Men (7/23/2008 8:35:59 AM)

Response is simple.

MY HOUSE my rules, if you want to have total control over everything then do whatever it is you want at YOUR HOUSE.





zuki -> RE: A Question for Dominant Men (7/23/2008 9:47:09 AM)

i have no experience in this what so ever but any place, be it a bdsm club or restaurant, will eventually do well if it has a good reputation but that can take time to build up it depends on the type of place You want to run. If You stick to Your high standards You will eventually attract people of the same quality who will appreciate Your club for what You have made it



DomDolf -> RE: A Question for Dominant Men (7/23/2008 9:50:24 AM)

I agree zuki, and that cannot be compromised.

Dolf



Pair4play -> RE: A Question for Dominant Men (7/23/2008 10:42:37 AM)

The only real way to get the point across is to not let anyone use the space who is unwilling to comply with the house rules. If you threw a party and someone brought a friend who insisted on smoking in your living room and putting their cigarettes out in your potted plants, that person would no longer be back and that friendship would be strained, at best.

If someone wants to take up a very generous offer you've made, then it's imperative that they help you by complying with your rules.



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