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RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 7/26/2008 3:57:07 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

What do I think? it was a bratty waste of a good Domme time, and nothing to do with a Domme's pleasure.

Next time, entitle your fantasy fiction properly [e.g., " i'm conflicted about my homosexual desires and need to feel 'forced' "] and don't bother Us.

BTW, if any Dommes had 'x' number of men in a hotel room, We wouldn't waste them like that!

You are the Domme, if you didn't want to waste time reading it, you should have skipped to the next topic All it took me was one paragraph and I knew it was porn.

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to Tantriqu)

RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 7/26/2008 5:50:25 AM

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Gosh, I really hate to fuel the fire here... but I've used the word "dickhead" on the well deserving male on many occasions... and I've had the word cunt thrown back at me. And if you are what you eat then my hubby is a pussy and twice is a dick... lmao. My gosh, they may not be "pc", but admittedly it does happen. I've lived all over the continental US and I've never seen a place where it just plain doesn't exist. What a really silly thing to argue about!!

Jewel

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RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 7/26/2008 7:13:44 AM

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Hands Ms Jewel some morningwood to fuel the fire.

I am known for both my dick and my head.

I suppose that would make me a dickhead.

Works for me.

Can't comment on the story though, couldn't get past the first three lines.

But apparently it's a bestseller, judging by the length of this thread.

chia* (the pet)

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RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 7/26/2008 7:36:54 AM

MzMia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia
I can't believe I am saying this, but I agree with you Pixel.
There are men that are looking for women to facilitate/procure them Real phalluses{ big ones usually preferred}

LOL Mz Mia! Great wonders never cease to amaze me!

I sincerly and humbly thank you for the compliment. While I'm at it, welcome back to the "Ask a Mistress forum". It's been quite a long time since I've seen you posting here until the last week or so. Perhaps we'll find common ground more often.

- pixel

lol, pixel

Thank you so much for the kind words, I tend to "lurk" here a lot, and I will certainly keep popping in and posting.

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"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to pixelslave)

RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 7/26/2008 9:40:09 AM

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That's some pretty sweet wank material!

Have fun (with yourself).

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(in reply to boyforforcedbi)

RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 7/26/2008 9:42:32 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

Hands Ms Jewel some morningwood to fuel the fire.

I am known for both my dick and my head.

I suppose that would make me a dickhead.

Works for me.

Can't comment on the story though, couldn't get past the first three lines.

But apparently it's a bestseller, judging by the length of this thread.

chia* (the pet)

Yes, but are you a prick? Me? I'm a journeyman (woman?) bitch. lmao

Jewel

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RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 7/26/2008 9:50:15 AM

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I believe I have used "stupid twat" to describe a few females in my day. Or, snarky twit. For the guys, putz, moron, idiot.........tends to pop up more often than anything else.

Nongender descriminator here!

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 7/26/2008 10:15:38 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

My response was more to do with what I see as his attitude toward women

<snip>

I am not seeing a great need for women in this picture.

I am seeing the woman to play the role of a sadist. I don't think one can say that role makes women unimportant to him. That he is seeking a woman to be the sadist tells me that for BDSM relationships, he seeks women. And I think the context of one fantasy (or even a series of fantasies) does not describe how one feels about women as a whole.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to Missokyst)

RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 7/26/2008 10:30:17 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats
And I would NEVER take a sub's suggestion as to what I might make him do: the fact that he suggested it makes it more than a little suspect.

In the context of emotional/mental SM, I see some basis for that statement. In the context of D/s, I think it is a question of perspective. I often see the notion that if the idea comes from a sub, it is not submission. If we examine what makes a given idea interesting to the sub, I expect in many cases it is so because it represents submission and becomes a ritual or expression of D/s. For example, many subs like to kneel and they do so because kneeling is one way to express D/s roles. In my opinion, a dominant could simply reject an idea simply because it was suggested by a sub, or see whether such a ritual carries appeal, and, if so, participate in it.

I think the logic that an act of submission cannot really be an act of submission if it is wanted then creates a problem for consensual submission when this logic is applied to enjoying submission in general.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 7/26/2008 10:31:35 AM >

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)

RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 7/26/2008 10:45:23 AM

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I think it is common in BDSM for a sub to wish for the dominant to make/force/order the sub to do something as an expression of their roles.

Sub: I would love it if you would make me _________

That act could be taking a strap-on, kneeling, washing her feet, or bisexual activity.

I think it is a common scenario in BDSM for a sub to wish to do something as an expression of a submissive role for the domme.

Sub: I wish to do __________ for you.

That act could be taking a strap-on, kneeling, washing her feet, or bisexual activity.

To a domme who enjoys using a strap-on as an expression of her role, a submissive saying that he would like to be forced to take a strap-on, or that he would like to take a strap on would be interesting. To a domme who does not enjoy that type of play, the same would be uninteresting--she might think, yeah, right, how is this guy tied up bent over a table, having me violate his ass submission when he wants me to do it?

Is it not possible that he wants submission and that is one way he sees submission to be expressed?

For any activity, I think what matters is whether there is compatibility of interest, or enough overall compatibility for the dominant to participate in the activity.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 7/26/2008 10:48:53 AM >

(in reply to pixelslave)

RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 7/26/2008 12:04:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

This is an interesting question in itself. Does a writer of porn fiction place themself within the story, or do they write that which others want to hear ?

That is an interesting question. Some writers of erotic fiction can obviously produce stories in which they don't appear in any literal sense: for example, there are men who write stories in which all the characters are female, and vice-versa.

I write erotic fiction now and then, and there's usually (not always) a character that I can identify with to some degree. However, I don't just write down the things I think about while masturbating because, well, that wouldn't be very interesting. What I do is take a few elements from my personal store of fantasies and use them as a basis for a story with a coherent plot, halfway plausible characters, and a reasonably detailed setting.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53
I had an ironical smile at all the mentions of wank fodder. Is that not what erotic porn is about ?

I think this is a bit too dismissive. Saying that erotic fiction is just wank fodder is a bit like saying all ghost stories are just "scream fodder" - in both cases there's definitely a basic emotional response that the author is trying to evoke, but a really good piece of work in either genre will succeed on other levels as well. I simply don't accept that erotic fiction always has to be inferior to other kinds of fiction in depth, complexity, or literary merit.

(in reply to Politesub53)

RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 7/26/2008 12:21:47 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: boyforforcedbi

I was just writing a story btw. This does not represent my true wishes as a submissive.. or does it indicate what I am looking for.

This is an interesting question in itself. Does a writer of porn fiction place themself within the story, or do they write that which others want to hear ?

I had an ironical smile at all the mentions of wank fodder. Is that not what erotic porn is about ?

There's nothing wrong with "wank fodder" -- where it can be annoying is if a submissive man writes a story as a gift, or hopes the ladies will like it, and really, it's obviously his selfish fantasy and it's dripping with predictability. I think kinky women look for different things when they read erotica for enjoyment, and I think it's very individual.

But what I can say, almost 100%, is that femdoms are not going to enjoy anything about a long, drawn out description of acts and/or lots of details about the woman doing the acts. I get tons of stories sent to me as "gifts" and really they are just descriptions of a fantasy femdom and lots of writing about acts. I don't like to read much anyway, so if I am going to read something to get *me* wet (wank fodder for me!) chances are it's going to focus a lot on the internal dialog of the sub, his feelings of vulnerability, his feelings of helplessness, his fear, his surrender.

That said - when I want a guy to write a story for me, I give him very specific boundaries that force him to stay in that box. Most men decide they don't WANT to write a story "for me" any longer once they realize these limits - it really shows you who they are writing the story for. If I tell them, for example, their story:

* Must not include any female character, even in reference
* Must not include any acts involving your cock
* Must include at least three paragraphs describing vulnerability and your reaction to it

The subs I have met who can push me with words I hold onto. It's also a real talent if they can do it with very few words. But - as I mentioned - I think most femdoms have very unique tastes with regards to what turns them on.

Akasha

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(in reply to Politesub53)

RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 7/26/2008 12:48:16 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wheldrake

I think this is a bit too dismissive. Saying that erotic fiction is just wank fodder is a bit like saying all ghost stories are just "scream fodder" - in both cases there's definitely a basic emotional response that the author is trying to evoke, but a really good piece of work in either genre will succeed on other levels as well. I simply don't accept that erotic fiction always has to be inferior to other kinds of fiction in depth, complexity, or literary merit.

I certainly dont dismiss erotic fiction in any way. My point about calling it wank fodder is that its soley aimed at eliciting an erotic response in the reader. No matter how well written, or how complex the story, the reader who buys such a book wants to be turned on. Just as the reader of a horror story wants to fell fear.
AAkasha makes a good point that it doesnt have to be all about the physical aspect of sex. Certainly with BDSM the mental aspect can be just as much of a turn on.

(in reply to Wheldrake)

RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 7/26/2008 1:07:55 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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Ok, I'm deliberately not reading any other other replies before I post. I am a dominant woman so I'm your target audience. I should also tell you I work for a university publishing house, I am a published author, and I am working on a degree in Creative Writing. I'm going to give you advice based on my total experience rather than solely as a dominant woman. I would offer the same critique if you were in one of my writing workshops.

Run, do not walk, to your local book store and pick up copies of The Elements of Style by Strunk and White, On Writing Well by William K. Zinsser, and The Art of Fiction by John Gardner. You might also want to pick up copies of Writing the Breakout Novel by Donald Maass and Plot & Structure by James Scott Bell. I found these books extremely useful in my writing. They will definitely help you if you plan to pursue writing, even if only as a hobby.

In this chapter, you've committed many of the most common errors beginning writers make. I see a lot of passive verb constructions ("My mind had been occupied") and you're not engaging your reader's senses. You're telling your audience about things instead of showing those things. In good writing, you have to put the reader right in the scene. What does it look like? Is the paint peeling? Does it have a smell like rotting wood, dust, mold? Don't tell me you heard the doorknob turn -- describe the faint, scraping squeak of the rusty tumblers rolling over as the door opens.

How does your protagonist feel? Is he nervous? Calm? Are his palms slightly damp with the sweat of his anticipation? What about the woman he is meeting? How does she feel? Is she bored? Is this just a job to her? Or is her skin prickling with excitement as opens the door to meet him? What does he look like? What does she look like? She's captivating...so what? What does that mean? What about the guy your protagonist is forced to pleasure? How does he look and what does he think? And why should your audience care about any of your characters?

Give me a reason to care why this guy and this woman are meeting and why she's forcing him to perform unprotected oral sex on a man he's never met. Put me in their heads and show me how important (or not) this meeting is to them. I want to care about them but it's your job to make that happen. If you don't, you've got nothing.

You also need to work on the dialog. It's flat and doesn't help your story. However, the larger problems of character motivation and development are the issues you should address first.

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(in reply to boyforforcedbi)

RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 7/26/2008 5:16:47 PM

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Assumptions... hummm... think maybe your nick might have influenced that a bit? Your nick suggest's an interest and your story is all about some form of it. Let's call it what it seems to be and not discredit those who see a connection between nick and storyline.

I write stories with sexual content... maybe not well... but I surely have no attitude about them. I write from a dominant, submissive and other area's of erotica/porn and with my nick being Lockit... one would assume I would include chastity, but I have never written about it. Maybe because my nick isn't based on chastity... but I find it hard to believe your nick means anything but what it says. Correct me if I am wrong.

quote:

ORIGINAL: boyforforcedbi

I was just writing a story btw. This does not represent my true wishes as a submissive.. or does it indicate what I am looking for. Our minds are all spectrums of different light, interests, passions and auras. Simply out, I was just curious more on a basic level of what a Domme thinks when reading content of this nature. And I did get my answers! :) I love to flow of free thought and opinion... but I am most fascinated by the assumptions made of me on an individual basis, on what was a mere dirty piece of creative writing (and honestly not that well written).

(in reply to boyforforcedbi)

RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 8/27/2008 11:11:44 PM

dreamerdreaming

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OP, this is a decent first effort and you were brave to post it. Not having read the whole thread (who has the time?) its pretty safe to say you got thrashed, because folks on these boards don't pull any punches. And why should they? you asked for our opinions.

I think there should be a specific area on the CM boards for porn. Anybody know a good reason why there isn't one?

My main problem with the piece is the cardboard Domme. She's a stranger to the boy and she's so cold and unfeeling. So one-dimensional, boring and predictable. Its disheartening to see her be such a negative stereotype. Is this really what so many submales dream of? I hope not.

It would be so much hotter, so sweet and yummy if she and the slaveboy had a loving relationship. I'd love to read a story about a Domme who is crazy in love with her boy, attends to his physical and emotional needs with care and affection, and takes great pleasure in orchestrating a scene in which he is used as a cum-hole for other sub males.

Also I'd like it much better if he is used anally as well. Preferably at the same time as his mouth is being used. That would be sweet.

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(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 8/29/2008 1:42:45 AM

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I like your response...

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Wonder what a Domme thinks of this story - 8/29/2008 1:49:49 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bottomboy81

quote:

And your rational is what?

That its a social acceptance for women to use the words "dickhead" or "pigs". But its not socially acceptable to use the words "cunt' or "slut" which is close to the equivalence of "dickhead and "pig". Name calling period is not socially acceptable towards women but it is for men.

No, slapper and slag here at least would be equivalents of dickhead and pig, and all those terms you would hear. Cunt and slut are more offensive and only heard in public rarely. YMMV

(in reply to bottomboy81)

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