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shanaya -> RE: Flash Back???? (8/5/2008 3:02:11 AM)
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my ex Dominant had me hold my arms out ( i was laying on my back on the floor ) and he hit the underarm of my arms with a wooden spoon, i remember feeling anxious and i pulled my arms over my chest and said "no ,don't do that please " he responded by being firm ,so i obeyed and put them out. my next memory is of my abusive ex husband trying to beat me, i scrambelled into the corner with my hands over my face for protection crying hysterically "please don't " everytime i looked up i saw my ex husbands face, i don't remember anything after that until i came around in a ball on the floor still sobbing.
He told me he couldn't get near me as it caused me to become more pleading and hysterical so he sat back and eventually i rolled up in a ball ,he waited ,he said this went on for a further ten minutes. Luckily i haven't had it happen again, it did leave me feeling really awful for a few weeks after and brought on nightmares of my ex husband again. But after they subsided i actually felt better, so maybe it was just something that my mind and heart was ready, and needed to release.
hugs
~shanaya~
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