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CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Why is it important a submiisive be reliable? (8/4/2008 8:12:23 PM)
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First and foremost, being reliable is a reflection of keeping one's word -- it is a form of honesty. In that sense, I consider reliability a necessary trait for someone who hopes to be a part of our household, because honesty and integrity are vital to our household's well-being.
One other thing that strikes me is that having a submissive individual who is consistently unreliable shows a certain disdain for the importance of the relationship in hir life. The thinking goes that, if the relationship is important, and if the submissive individual respects and values the presence of the dominant individual in hir life, xhe will make it a point to be reliable, so that the dominant individual is not overly inconvenienced.
For me, it is crucial that my servants be reliable, and for reasons that only partially have to do with my perception of reliability and promptness being a sign of proper courtesy (on either side of the collar). I am an inherently chaotic person, but I have forced myself to maintain a measure of reliability, and if I make a promise, I keep it. I am not late for appointments, nor do I arrive empty-handed, fail to take proper notes, confirm instructions, etc. If I can do this, as erratic as my nature is, I expect that my servant will do so. It is also crucial to me because, as chaotic as I am, it is a strain for me to have to be so structured all of the time... and yet, if I cannot rely on my servant to attend to the things he has been assigned, then someone -must- make sure that the assignments are completed so that -others- with whom I must deal (and extend courtesy to) will not be offended or inconvenienced by our household's inconsistency. Because of that, inconsistent, unreliable servants do not do well in our household.
In terms of casual arrangements, when someone is bottoming to me, I am taking time out of my very busy day to prepare and do a scene. I also typically must pay for play-space on a scheduled basis for some of the things that we do. If a bottom is unreliable or consistently tardy, it is not worth my while to make plans with that person. At first, I will transfer more of the responsibility onto them -- if xhe's late more than twice or fails to let me know xhe isn't coming more than twice, xhe pays for the rental of play-space the next time we meet. If xhe doesn't bring the things I've asked hir to have after the first time xhe "forgets", we don't play (Yes, I probably have spares in -my- toybag, but that isn't the point). If xhe is consistently late and I'm kept waiting for more than 10 minutes on 2 or more occasions, I start charging by the minute at my freelance writer's rate (because I would probably be using that time to write, were I not sitting around in a semi-dark room waiting for the bottom.) If it happens more than 4 times, or more than 3 times in a row, I won't schedule playtime with that person any more, because clearly, they don't value the time being set aside for them.
I don't know if this makes any sense, but that is how I see the whole issue of reliability.
Calla Firestorm
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